Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Hiders
It'sonlywhenI'malonethatIcantellthere'snohope.
Just keep spinning.
I collapsed in the soft grass, landing on my hands and knees as I tried to catch my breath. I stared at the small stone, tracing the letters with one hand as I panted. I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks, making it all that much harder to catch my breath. I curled into myself, staring at the small stone.
"I'm so so sorry. It was you who deserved to live. You were so perfect. So fucking perfect." I was shaking, my sight blurred. I tried to read the numbers I had memorized, but found it was ridiculously hard to breath. "But I know you don't deserve to be the one stuck in this situation. You were better than this. You were always better than me. I miss you so much. I wish you would come back. Why didn't you wake up? You promised you would wake up."
I cried harder, giving up with talking to someone who wasn't going to answer. I stayed curled into myself, staring at the stone as I waited for myself to calm down. The sun that had started in the middle of the sky had moved down, getting close to sunset. I curled up to the stone, holding onto it the same way I used to hold onto the person that it belonged to.
There was a shadow that hovered over me and I looked up, rubbing my still blurry eyes. It was Jon, his uniform slightly askew, one of his hands in his pocket while the other held a bundle of white daisies. He was staring at me, a confused look on his face. His face was damaged, a bruise and cut accenting his cheekbone. I looked down, feeling bad for all that I had done to him. There was the sound of feet walking on the grass, crushing the small green blades.
"Summer told me about your problem." He said the words gently, almost as if he were trying to not scare me. I continued to stare at my hands, not knowing what to say. "When you look at me, what do you see?" I shook my head, pulling on some of the grass. I wrapped them around my finger, pulling until they ripped apart.
"You don't want to know." I whispered the words, wishing I could just be alone. I always did best when I was alone.
"Ryan, when she told me, all I could think was how beautiful the world must be through your eyes. You see everything in ways that no one else can even imagine." I stayed silent, staring as the wind rustled the grass. "So...who is this?" I looked up as he gave a small gesture to the stone. I placed my hand on it gently, feeling my eyes fill with tears once more.
"My best..only...He was my only friend. He's still my closest friend." I traced the words with my finger. "Pete was the only one who could see what I saw. We shared a room at the hospital, and everyone thought he would be the one to get better." He stayed silent for a moment as I tried to choke back the sobs.
"What happened to him?" The words were almost completely silent, like he wasn't expecting an answer.
"One night, while it was raining a group of them attacked us. I always thought that he was stronger than me. But even if his mind was, his heart wasn't. It gave up on him. He was fighting them off, I was trying to help. And he just...collapsed. It took them hours to pry me off of him when they found us in the morning. He said...he promised that he would always wake up. I kept waiting for him to wake up." I was crying again, my eyes on my knees as I stayed curled into myself. He put an arm around me, and I peeked as he pulled two of the white daisies out of his bundle. He ripped the stem off of one. "When he was taken from me I was told about a secret door in the hospital. I was such a weak person, I spent all of my nights there. I couldn't accept the fact that he left me. I still can't." I went silent.
"Is that how you got that scar?" He pushed my hair out of my face, staring at the jagged scar that hid beneath. I flinched when I felt him trace it. "Sorry." He muttered the words and I shook my head.
"Yeah. I got this when one of them attacked me." He nodded, pushing the hair behind my ear. He tucked the daisy behind my ear, using it to pin my hair back. He had a small smile on his lips and I could feel my stomach churning in an unfamiliar way.
"I think you're stronger than them. Hell, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. Even after all of the things you've gone through, you're one of the strongest people I've ever met. I just wish I had a chance at seeing the world through your eyes." He wiped the tears out of my eyes, making me feel all that much better.
"So, why are you here? It's not a normal thing for people to go wandering around in graveyards." I leaned into his hug, looking up to his bottomless brown eyes.
"I was visiting my mom. Do you wanna meet her?" He was still smiling, and I nodded once.
"Sure." He stood and held out his hand to help me to my feet. He placed the other daisy on top of Pete's grave before gesturing to the rest of the row of cold and hard stones.
"She's just a row over." He took my hand and we made our way over to his mom. He put the flowers down on the soft grass. "You know, she was a lot like you. Always seeing the world differently from other people." He sat down so he could stare across the short amount of grass to look at the cross made of stone. I sat down next to him, and he rested his head on my shoulder. The sun started to set, turning the sky into a fire. We stayed silent, staring as the ball of bright colors made it's march downwards.
It wasn't until the sun was almost completely gone until he spoke again. "I miss her."
~~~~~
I know I've already obsessed over this, but I have around 30 pages of reviews, and ohmygosh, thank you all so fucking much. You don't know how much it means to me. It honestly makes my day even if I only get one little notification for a short review that just asks for me to update soon. It just makes me feel amazing and not as terrible as everyone says I am.
PartyPoison:I think he made up for it in this chapter. We can only wait to see what's going to happen next chapter. Because if we all know my stories, they go down, go up and hover before plummeting back down.
And I just want to thank you for the consistent reviews. If I didn't get them I probably wouldn't update half as much.
-xoxo Pansy.
Just keep spinning.
I collapsed in the soft grass, landing on my hands and knees as I tried to catch my breath. I stared at the small stone, tracing the letters with one hand as I panted. I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks, making it all that much harder to catch my breath. I curled into myself, staring at the small stone.
"I'm so so sorry. It was you who deserved to live. You were so perfect. So fucking perfect." I was shaking, my sight blurred. I tried to read the numbers I had memorized, but found it was ridiculously hard to breath. "But I know you don't deserve to be the one stuck in this situation. You were better than this. You were always better than me. I miss you so much. I wish you would come back. Why didn't you wake up? You promised you would wake up."
I cried harder, giving up with talking to someone who wasn't going to answer. I stayed curled into myself, staring at the stone as I waited for myself to calm down. The sun that had started in the middle of the sky had moved down, getting close to sunset. I curled up to the stone, holding onto it the same way I used to hold onto the person that it belonged to.
There was a shadow that hovered over me and I looked up, rubbing my still blurry eyes. It was Jon, his uniform slightly askew, one of his hands in his pocket while the other held a bundle of white daisies. He was staring at me, a confused look on his face. His face was damaged, a bruise and cut accenting his cheekbone. I looked down, feeling bad for all that I had done to him. There was the sound of feet walking on the grass, crushing the small green blades.
"Summer told me about your problem." He said the words gently, almost as if he were trying to not scare me. I continued to stare at my hands, not knowing what to say. "When you look at me, what do you see?" I shook my head, pulling on some of the grass. I wrapped them around my finger, pulling until they ripped apart.
"You don't want to know." I whispered the words, wishing I could just be alone. I always did best when I was alone.
"Ryan, when she told me, all I could think was how beautiful the world must be through your eyes. You see everything in ways that no one else can even imagine." I stayed silent, staring as the wind rustled the grass. "So...who is this?" I looked up as he gave a small gesture to the stone. I placed my hand on it gently, feeling my eyes fill with tears once more.
"My best..only...He was my only friend. He's still my closest friend." I traced the words with my finger. "Pete was the only one who could see what I saw. We shared a room at the hospital, and everyone thought he would be the one to get better." He stayed silent for a moment as I tried to choke back the sobs.
"What happened to him?" The words were almost completely silent, like he wasn't expecting an answer.
"One night, while it was raining a group of them attacked us. I always thought that he was stronger than me. But even if his mind was, his heart wasn't. It gave up on him. He was fighting them off, I was trying to help. And he just...collapsed. It took them hours to pry me off of him when they found us in the morning. He said...he promised that he would always wake up. I kept waiting for him to wake up." I was crying again, my eyes on my knees as I stayed curled into myself. He put an arm around me, and I peeked as he pulled two of the white daisies out of his bundle. He ripped the stem off of one. "When he was taken from me I was told about a secret door in the hospital. I was such a weak person, I spent all of my nights there. I couldn't accept the fact that he left me. I still can't." I went silent.
"Is that how you got that scar?" He pushed my hair out of my face, staring at the jagged scar that hid beneath. I flinched when I felt him trace it. "Sorry." He muttered the words and I shook my head.
"Yeah. I got this when one of them attacked me." He nodded, pushing the hair behind my ear. He tucked the daisy behind my ear, using it to pin my hair back. He had a small smile on his lips and I could feel my stomach churning in an unfamiliar way.
"I think you're stronger than them. Hell, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. Even after all of the things you've gone through, you're one of the strongest people I've ever met. I just wish I had a chance at seeing the world through your eyes." He wiped the tears out of my eyes, making me feel all that much better.
"So, why are you here? It's not a normal thing for people to go wandering around in graveyards." I leaned into his hug, looking up to his bottomless brown eyes.
"I was visiting my mom. Do you wanna meet her?" He was still smiling, and I nodded once.
"Sure." He stood and held out his hand to help me to my feet. He placed the other daisy on top of Pete's grave before gesturing to the rest of the row of cold and hard stones.
"She's just a row over." He took my hand and we made our way over to his mom. He put the flowers down on the soft grass. "You know, she was a lot like you. Always seeing the world differently from other people." He sat down so he could stare across the short amount of grass to look at the cross made of stone. I sat down next to him, and he rested his head on my shoulder. The sun started to set, turning the sky into a fire. We stayed silent, staring as the ball of bright colors made it's march downwards.
It wasn't until the sun was almost completely gone until he spoke again. "I miss her."
~~~~~
I know I've already obsessed over this, but I have around 30 pages of reviews, and ohmygosh, thank you all so fucking much. You don't know how much it means to me. It honestly makes my day even if I only get one little notification for a short review that just asks for me to update soon. It just makes me feel amazing and not as terrible as everyone says I am.
PartyPoison:I think he made up for it in this chapter. We can only wait to see what's going to happen next chapter. Because if we all know my stories, they go down, go up and hover before plummeting back down.
And I just want to thank you for the consistent reviews. If I didn't get them I probably wouldn't update half as much.
-xoxo Pansy.
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