Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

You know your obsessed when

by DisenchantedDestroya 2 reviews

Way way old but still pretty funny to read :L Unfortunately, its not mine >.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2011-08-17 - Updated: 2011-08-17 - 2749 words - Complete


1. Hearing any of the following noises immediately perks your interest: static, a heart monitor, or faint explosions.
2. Someone says, "No fucking way!" and the first thing you think it, "Aw, that sucks; he's still on his honeymoon too!"
3. You boycott Aqua Teen Hunger Force because there is NO WAY it is better than The Breakfast Monkey.
4. You know which member of the band makes Bob Bryar's heart burn.
5. You really DO know what they do to guys like them in prison.
6. You, too, were killing before killing was cool.
7. You know that homophobia is gay and that Frank Iero is "a monster".
8. You raise your hand in history class when the teacher is talking about the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs and say, "Ah, but that fucking asteroid missed the Torosaurus!"
9. You know that pears really ARE good organic.
10. Thanks to that one fan letter session, you know the meaning of the phrase "haute couture."
11. You have begun at least one conversation with, "What's the worst that I could say?"
12. You have ended at least one conversation with, "So long and goodnight."
13. After the release of The Black Parade, you began referring to you mother as either "Mama" or "Mother War" whenever you got mad at her.
14. You know that there are teenagers, and then there is "Teenagers."
15. You still mourn the death of Pansy.
16. You can make the connection between the phrase "back in black" and Gerard Way's hair.
17. You keep an eye out for a certain bum every time you go to San Francisco.
18. You find it extremely ironic that the guys used to be baffled as to why so many people thought they were vampires, but you read the warning against illegal copying on the first CD.
19. You can make the connection between the letters "NJ" and the inside of the lower lip.
20. You support Bob Bryar's solo project.
21. You crossed out "Halloween" on your calendar and replaced it with "Frank Iero's Birthday."
22. You crossed out "New Year's Eve" on your calendar and replaced it with "Bob Bryar's Birthday."
23. You look out your window on a rainy day, see all the people with umbrellas, and think, "Wow, the Academy is really growing!"
24. You have unleashed the fucking bats.
25. You find it extremely funny that a certain guitarist who cannot swim totally rocks at the song "Drowning Lessons."
26. When you heard Gerard got engaged, you thought to yourself, "Huh, I guess he DID go off to "find another Way."
27. When someone asks you how you are feeling when you are sad, you respond, "I'm not okay."
28. You have taken duct tape and a sharpie to your street sign and changed the street name to Cemetery Drive.
29. Someone offers to tell you a riddle and you ask, "That it that riddle of revenge?"
30. There is only one saint that you worship, and that is the Patron Saint of Switchblade Fights.
31. When you are sick of your face, you are allowed to be sick of your face, cuz it's your fucking face.
32. ...You hear the word "bunny" and think of a cat.
33. "Traitors!"...
34. ...You actually KNOW how to pronounce Frank Iero's last name ("eye-ear-oh").
35. When breaking up with someone, you have used the line, "Honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us."
36. When someone breaks up with YOU, you have shouted after them, "You didn't even have the guts to say, 'I don't love you like I loved you yesterday,' you bastard!"
37. Someone mentions angels and you think, "Headfirst for halos!"
38. You wonder why the anthem didn't explain it, anyway.
39. You have done or died.
40. Every time you are faced with a difficult decision, you think to yourself, "Could I? Should I?"
41. You know that celebrities die by threes.
42. You know that dead cartoon people are not the only ones who can have X's over their eyes.
43. You don't keep any garlic or a crucifix around because you know that vampires will never hurt you.
44. Every time you play cards, you remove the "wild-eyed jokers" from the deck.
45. You can go skydiving because you lost your "fear of falling."
46. You hear anything that relates to William Shakespeare, and the first words in your head are "Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands..."
47. .Any guy ever comes up and asks for a tit show and you spit in his face and yell, "FUCK. YOU!"
48. You hear the beginning of an MCR song on the radio and think, "Oh baby here comes the sound!"
49. After The Black Parade came out, you changed your zodiac sign to Cancer.
50. That sound of the drumsticks clicking at the end of "Teenagers" is the TRUE end of the song.
51. All you are is bullets.
52. You have walked into a candy store and said, "Gimme all your poison!"
53. If the employee at the above candy store complied, you responded with, "Thank you for the venom!"
54. You won't go down by yourself, but you'll go down with your friends.
55. Your weapon of choice is a croquet mallet.
56. You still can't look at orange crayons without blushing.
57. You have refused to swim in a pool because the lifeguard was "dressed in red and blue"...
58. You know the difference between immortality and never dying.
59. Someone says, "NOW!" and you instinctively respond with, "But I can't!"
60. ...for prom, you went up to your friends/date and asked, "Now don't I look pretty walking down the street in the best damn dress I own?!"
61. You aspire to own a Benz someday for the sole purpose of driving ninety past the Barbie?s and Kens.
62. Someone proposes marriage to you, and you look them in the eye and ask, "If you marry me, would you bury me? Would you carry me to the end?"
63. Everytime you see a flock of doves, you instinctively look for a bullet.
64. You've looked in the mirror and not liked what you saw.
65. Someone asks you how you'd feel if you met MCR, and you respond with, "Tongue-tied and oh so squeamish..."
66. You have wondered what would happen if Little Red Riding hood heard about track 7 on The Black Parade...
67. You work in a densely-packed office building and have had "Cubicles" on repeat for an hour or more.
68. When you're in over your head, you have said, "Heaven help us!"
69. Someone near you starts smoking, and you play "Cancer" pointedly in their direction.
70. Every single time you are in an elevator, you immediately check to see if it "only goes up to ten."
71. You get pissed off at your boyfriend and tell your friends, "He's not around, he's always looking at men."
72. You wonder if Gerard singing "Way down" in "Cemetery Drive" has anything to do with the fact that his brother, Mikey, "died" in the video for "The Ghost of You."
73. When you're running late for something and your mom or dad says, "We have got to go!" you echo them out of habit and maybe even wave a lighter for dramatic effect.
74. Any story beginning with "Long ago" immediately causes you to think, "just like the hearse. You. Died to get in again..."
75. You do not "light" matches; you "strike" them.
76. .Someone says they'll give you anything, and you say, "Fine, how about a thousand bodies piled up?"
77. You adore every inch of sanity.
78. You don't just stand, you stand up fucking tall!
79. You have given out invitations for some event, and you have written on them "Now come one, come all to this tragic affair..."
80. Screw skinny jeans; what's in is despair!
81. You refer to what you get out of those annoying little prize machines that rarely ever hang onto the stuffed animals inside of them as "the winnings."
82. The only "Rmy you're ever joining has an "MC" in front of it,
83. You own Bob Bryar's Book of Cats.
84. You know that Skeleton Crew does not, repeat, not refer to the undead seadogs of "Pirates of the Caribbean".
85. You use "MCR Speak" to mess with people's minds (ex. "Yeah, ever since the breakup, Revenge-5. Seriously, you'd think my ex could've said Parade-6 before he left me for that bitch. Fuck Bullets-1!" in which "Revenge-5" translates to "I'm not okay" and "Parade-6" translates to "I don't love you," and "Bullets-1" translates to "romance".)
86. In the spirit of the above, your copy of "Life on the Murder Scene" is Parade-2 from so many viewings.
87. When going to meet Ray Toro, you wear a t-shirt with a picture of a cupcake and the words "We Will Always Remember."
88. You name your guitars.
89. You have Lasik surgery, then announce a funeral time and date for your old glasses.
90. You do not aspire to be famous; you aspire to be Ghostbuster famous.
91. Every time you avenge yourself, you cheer three times.
92. They are Your Chemical Romance.
93. You're an animal that never paid attention in school.
94. You are not afraid to walk this world alone.
95. You know that certain guitarists should not balance on top of certain drumsets during certain live tv shows.
96. You rock out just for the dead.
97. When your significant other calls, you answer with "Hello, angel, tell me where are you?"
98. You only take trains out of New Orleans.
99. You are a certified "bunk-diver."
100. You know what a bed of roses and a gun have in common.
101. You know that the end is only the beginning. Then there's "DEAD!", "This is How I Disappear," "The Sharpest Lives,"...
102. You get annoyed when Iero has a red wiggly line underneath it in Microsoft word.
103. Your favourite book is The Catcher In The Rye. Whether or not you even liked it. Or read it.
104. You can always tell which MCR song it is, even when you?ve just listened to a few bars.
105. You connect random things people say and do to MCR, and something one of the band members has said or done. Then you giggle and jump around about it, causing people to look at you strangely.
106. After the 97x interview with Gerard, you now call oranges apples.
107. You keep watching interviews about what "turns them on"
108. You Know most of the quotes they say
109. You spent six months saving babysitting money to buy the action figures with your friend
110. You gave alternative names to all the band members (Ex. Gerard- GG ; Ray- Flava Fro; Bob- Cardboard cutout; Mikey- The Violent Femme; Frank- ...Frank...)
111. You hear the band mentioned in a cell phone commercial and you get giddy
112. You read/write MCR fanfiction
113. You have screamed until your throat practically exploded at the concert (frightening the people next to you)
114. If you hear the words "Chemical" or "Romance" in any way, shape, or form, you immediately think of the band.
115. You know all the band member's birthdays...and have celebrated at least one of them
116. You have pissed off your friends with your endless MCR knowledge.
117. You have indeed "done it the Gerard Way"
118. You're jealous that someone you know has an "I Love Gerard Way" T-shirt.
119. When the band is in your town, you practically melt at the fact that they're breathing your air.
120. You honestly don't mind that at concerts Gerard calls the audience "Motherfuckers." In fact, you might just like it a little too much.
121. You own the Life on the Murder Scene DVD and laugh your butt off at it for no reason whatsoever.
122. If you find out that there's a song you don't know all the words to, you listen to it about a thousand times until you know it, proving you are the ultimate fan.
123. The thought of them occupies 99% of your brain activity.
124. You want to get the same tattoos as frank. You actually draw them on during class.
125. You often think, "Well, it would be legal in Amsterdam..."
126. Your iPod contains many, many MCR pictures
127. You wish you were a vampire just so they would write songs about you.
128. You've accidentally called one of your friends by one of the band members names
128. Someone mentions someone called Ray, Mikey, Gerard, Bob or Frank and you immediately listen to what they?re saying.
129. You went and brought a pair of glasses like Mikey?s, whether you need glasses or not.
130. You know all the bands signatures, and have actually made yours like theirs.
132. When gerard says ?this song goes out to anyone ?? you feel extremely special at the thought that they are singing a song to you.
133. You cry at the thought of frank being bullied.
134. You cry while watching the "Ghost Of You" video.
135. You cry when u hear them play your favourite song live
136. You hear someone say My Chemical Romance and you snap to attention
137. You stand your ground and defend them when someone tries to criticize them
138. You feel like burning the TRL building down
139. You read a story and claim you saw one of the band members names, though its not there
140. You recite the words to the song when someone even mutters a word from it
141. You write I?m not okay so many times on all of your books, on your hands, arms, and other people's hands, that your math teacher AND school counsellor literally asks you if there is something wrong with you.
142. You say "I?m not okay" and get pissed when nobody says "I promise" or ?trust me?.
143. You add people as your friend on myspace just because they have pictures of members of MCR on their profiles.
144. You think there should be a religion of MCRness
145. You wear red eyeshadow like gerard to school and ignore it when people make comments like, "are you dead?" etc.
146. You hate yourself because your too much of a chicken to blow up a microwave like Mikey did.
147. In science class you giggle every time you hear the word "chemical".
148. Someone says the words "Trust me", and you break out singing "I?m not ooookay...!"
149. ? When you recite mcr quotes, it?s a must to do it in the same voice Gerard did it in (or Frank, or Mikey or Bob or Ray?.)
150. You write MCR lyrics on your body.
151. You get pissed when someone says they like MCR, but don?t know who the hell you?re talking about when you mention Frank Iero to them.
152. You get pissed if they don?t know, even if they?re not interested in MCR.
153. ? You get pissed when someone is talking about a Ray, Bob, Mikey, Frank or Gerard that aren't in MCR.
154. 'Maybe your friends', too.
155. You try and re-name your pet dog Frankie.
156. A dude walks by with an afro and you point and shout, "RAY!"
157. Red ties suddenly become so much cooler. Bats too.
158. You go to a Chinese restaurant and proceed to tell the waiters there that Mikey can indeed eat his whole body weight in sushi.
159. You make it your mission to memorize every last word to their lyrics, including their first album.
160. You watch the same taping of their guest appearances so many times that you even know the dialogue.
161. You can somehow find a way to relate ANYTHING ANYONE says to a fun fact about MCR...which may not be so fun for them considering half the people you tell don't even care.
162. You'll rent any movie or listen to any cd that the guys like (such as "phantom of the paradise" or "iron maiden").
163. Frank always inspires you to try different makeup styles.
164. You hear of the actor Gerard Butler and then get disappointed because it wasn't the Gerard you loved.
165. You wouldn't mind being killed by a vampire.
166. You start TALKING like Gerard
167. You like corvettes all of a sudden.
168. You watch MCR interviews and concerts on TV, even when you?ve already seen it 10 times before. Much to the annoyance of your family.
169. You make out with your hand pretending that it's one of the guys.
179. If someone spells Mikey's name Mickey, you yell at them for about 3 hours.
180. It sickens you when posers act like their biggest fans.
181. You get a fetish with the show "Arthur" JUST because you like hearing Gerard's middle name.
182. Cartoons aren?t just for little kids anymore...Hey, if Gerard likes them, they MUST be cool!
183. There are several ways to sing a MCR: album version and live. Then, there are different types, of live: live at aol, live in germany, live at download, live in japan ?
184. When you are singing a song, like they did live, you can?t help but put in all the ?let me see
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