FicWad

Wednesday morning arrived a little too soon for my taste seeing as how I hadn't been able to sleep very well the night before. As I rolled over and out of bed I felt as if I hadn't gotten any sleep at all and I had a pounding headache to deal with.

My phone started vibrating and I picked it up in confusion. Who would be calling so early? "Hello?" I basically groaned at the person as I rubbed my temples.

"Hey, need a ride to school?" Brendon's solemn voice greeted me. He sounded exhausted as well and I didn't even have to think of how he had gotten my number. I figure it came from Lisa who had some story book romance in her head that she wanted Brendon and I to make a reality.

"You do know that I have a car, right?" I asked, confused as to why he would offer.

"It'll save gas money." Brendon said, yawning. "I have to go to Jon's anyway and he lives close to your school."

Seems his stalking wasn't over. I rubbed my temples harder and thought about it for a second, breathing out as I realized I couldn't keep giving him hope. "I can't do this Brendon."

"You can't get a ride from me?" Brendon asked, sounding confused.

"I can't lead you on. I can't play these games with you anymore. You were right. I probably will end up alone because no one else is probably going to spend so much time trying to get to know me but I have to fix that myself. And it’s not getting fixed today." I stated as I thought to our fight after the restaurant disaster.

"Can I check back tomorrow?" Brendon asked, in a teasing tone.

I let myself laugh, it felt good. "I don't think so. But thank you."

"For?" Brendon asked.

"Making me feel wanted." I replied honestly. It had felt good. He made it feel good. I'd been fighting it but that didn't mean it didn't leave that gooey feeling inside.

"Anytime." Brendon said as I hung up. Our conversations were over. They had to be because I found it was getting harder to not have him around and when his time here passed I didn't think I'd do so good so I might as well start practicing my loneliness early.

Who would've thought that I would miss a conceited frustrating stalker-like lead singer that didn't even belong in my life? Even though I hadn't given in it seemed that the end result would be the same; I was destined to be left sad. So was it really worth denying him? It kind of was because even though I'd be sad when he left I would at least know that I didn't let him have whatever he wanted just because of who he was.

As I started thinking about the time I'd spent with Brendon my phone started vibrating again, tearing me away from myself which I was thankful for. I didn't want to be just another star struck citizen, "Hello?"

"Hey Kacy, Need a ride?" Alex asked, surprising me. What was with everyone thinking I couldn't make it to school myself?

"No thank you." I replied, yawning. I really was exhausted and this pounding headache wasn't helping in the least. It just kept pounding away. "I actually might not go." I admitted. It was weird because I had never missed a day before but it just didn't seem worth it anymore. School was just a place where people stared and whispered about me now. I wanted to be invisible again.

"Really? Are you okay?" Alex asked, startled. He knew how much of a nerd I was. It seemed the entire world knew. Was my nerd vibe really that strong?

Strike two against me. I was bitter and nerdy.

I sighed. "Kinda don't feel good." In any way at all. "But I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Are we still going out tonight?" Alex asked.

I didn't want to. "Yeah, it'll be fun. I just need some sleep I think and then I'll be brand new." I said in a fake cheery voice. I wasn't myself with Alex. That was just the cold hard truth. I didn't think he could handle the real me and I didn't want to scare him away. I didn't want to be myself anymore. Until Brendon came along I didn't realize just how much of a bitch I was.

And no one but Brendon seemed to go for that kind of thing.

**

I had slept most of the day and now it was 1 in the afternoon. I had only woken because I heard the door. Someone was knocking and it was kind of loud. I threw the covers aside and made my way to the door, pushing my hair out of the way so that it would stop poking me in the eyes; somehow it always strayed to that general area.

I pulled the door open and was surprised to see Brendon. He looked surprised as well, "Oh I was hoping your mother would be here." Brendon stated, shifting uncomfortably.

I looked at the bouquet of white roses he had and gave him a funny look. "You brought my mother flowers?" I asked, even more surprised.

Brendon shrugged. "Not exactly."

"Oh?" Was all I could think of to say and it was more noise than word as I watched him, waiting for him to explain the situation to me.

"Can I come in?" Brendon asked.

"Sure." I replied, letting him in and we headed to my bedroom together. It was really the only place in the house that I felt comfortable.

"My mother isn't here though." I told him as he sat on my bed and I sat next to him, playing with my sleeves.

"Why aren't you at school?" Brendon asked, ignoring the statement.

"I didn't feel like it." I told him, still not looking at him. The tenseness of the situation was slightly frustrating. I didn't know what to say and I didn't really want to say anything but now here he was in my room. Kind of hard to ignore.

"Is someone bothering you there?" Brendon asked, knowing very well that school was something good for me.

I shrugged. "Nope. Just didn't want to go."

"That's not like you." He commented.

"You don't really know me." I told him.

Brendon laughed. He actually laughed at me. "Yes, I do." He responded in a matter-of-fact tone.

I turned to look at him and noticed he had been staring at me. His eyes were kind of intense, it made me want to look away but I fought the urge and stared back. "It's not what it used to be."

Brendon nodded. "A lot of things turn out not being what they once were."

"I'm going out with Alex tonight." I don't know why I felt the need to tell him that.

"Where?" Brendon asked.

"I'm not telling you that and you know why." Also I didn't really know yet. Alex didn't let me in on these things. "But you can leave the flowers in my mother’s room. I'm sure she'll be delighted to receive them."

Brendon laughed. "They aren't for her." He said, setting them on my bed.

I looked down at them and saw the card attached. "Look Brendon-" I started to talk but Brendon shut me up by placing his fingers against my lips.

"You don't like me? I get it. Just read the note tonight after your date. No pressure from me. I'm glad that you're happy with him. I don't understand but I can pretend to be happy for you." Brendon stated, standing.

"They are beautiful." I said, still sitting on my bed looking at the flowers.

Brendon nodded. "I'm glad you think so." And with that he left my room.