FicWad

I practically run from the class room as the lesson ends, I can't face anyone. I just need to get away. I charge to my locker, grab my stuff and out onto the street. Kids pour out after me, but I take no notice. I hear someone yelling something at me, it's difficult to pick out the words from the loud chatter and the sound of passing traffic.

I'm at the park again, this time, no little kids are around, the place is completely deserted. It's beginning to get dark even thought it's only four. I cross over to the little climbing frame, It's built to look like a castle, with turrets and stuff. I climb up to one of these and sit inside. I pull out my box of cigarettes from my bag. Shit! It's empty. I throw the box over the plastic wall of my hiding place and slam my fist against the floor. I hated feeling so worthless.
The sky turns a beautiful purple colour, the sun setting tints the fluffy clouds pink. I've been staring at the sky for about an hour, unable to move other than to occasionally skip songs on my Ipod. With a heavy sigh I haul myself up from the wooden floor, rubbing a hand through my hair. My cheek stings where I cut it. I pause momentarily at the top of the turret, looking down. Long way. I lean over the barrier, the upper part of my body hanging in the air. I could end it all. I could just...
I slap myself around the face. What the hell am I thinking? I grab my stuff and make my way down carefully, shocked at myself for thinking I could ever...

I don't tell mum what happened at the park, I simply do what I always do. Lie.
" Frank where were you? I was getting a little worried" She asks with her head in the oven. I get a glass out of the cupboard and fill it with water. " I went for a walk. It's so nice out, and I wanted some fresh air, y'know." I drink the water, hoping it will calm me down a little.
Mum emerges from the hot oven and smiles at me, "Dinner in half an hour, go and get your homework out of the way,hun" She envelops me into a hug, which is strange because she hasn't done that in ages. " What did you do to your cheek?" She asks, squinting at it.
"Bumped it." I feel so guilty for not telling her how much shit is happening to me. She lets go and I head upstairs. I do my homework in a daze, luckily we only have chemistry and french tonight. As I'm writing my last sentence of french, mum calls me again, " Frank! Dinner's ready!"
" Coming!" I yell, carefully sliding my french into a plastic wallet inside my file, and throwing my pencil case into my bag. I enter the kitchen and take the plate from the counter and bring it to my seat at the table. "So, good day?" Mum says, " Mine was terrible. I've got the worst headache..."
"Yeah, it was okay. Spent activity with this girl called Grace..."
Mum raises her eyebrows, her fork in mid air. " Oooh I see."
"Don't look at me like that!" I cry, determined not to blush, " We're friends, that's it!"
" Okay,okay... Calm down." Mum laughs, "So, what's she like?"
" She's pretty cool, wears glasses, brown hair and whatever. She's really good at french. We just listened to music in one of the little music rooms, her form teacher's the head of music, so he let us in." I smile, remembering how great I felt then.
" Oh, cool. She sounds nice"
I nod, eating another forkful of pasta. Mum rubs her head with her fingertips. "Well, I'm finished, there's more in the pan if you want some. I think I'll go to bed. Night." She stands up and takes her plate over to the sink, then goes upstairs to her room. I finish my dinner, clean the dishes then creep upstairs, trying not to wake mum. I slip into my bedroom. My phone is lying on the floor where it has fallen out of my bag. I stoop to pick it up and see I have a message.

Hey! :D It's me, Grace. Hang out tomorrow after school? Add my number :) G