Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > It's A Family Thing
Chapter 6: The best lie is the the one you tell yourself…
2 reviewsVery different to Rage, Gerard had a very rough night for he hadn’t the blue ones to make him go to sleep. He went to bed much earlier then everybody else, because he simply couldn’t take it an...
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Okay, here's the next chapter. Hope you guys enjoy even though the story unfolds somewhat slowly. I thought this way it might be more believable. Anyway, hope you enjoy the new chapter! :)
Well at least one should think Rage new where she was going these 4 times she left the BBQ… And for the first and the second time she definitely knew, but the third and fourth time? Probably not so much. And for sure she didn’t remember it the morning after. When she woke up her head was pounding. One should think she had gotten used to it by now, but that wasn’t the case. In fact the headaches and nausea seemed to be getting worse each and every time, so that it has become a daily routine for her to go to the bathroom of their bus first thing in the morning to throw up what was left in her stomach of the day before and popping some painkillers to be able to get going afterwards. It had gotten so normal for her that she didn’t even think about what she was doing. The combination was working well. But one thing she always made sure of was that the door was locked and that the shower was turned on, when she sat on her knees vomiting into the toilet. Nobody needed to know she was sick, right? And for sure nobody had to know she had been sick EVERY morning of the past 3 weeks, right? And so far she seemed to have done a good job in keeping it a secret, because she always needed the longest in the shower and so nobody was suspicious that it took her 20 minutes in the bathroom to get ready in the morning. Her bandmates just saw her coming out of the bathroom every morning with a towel around her head, freshly showered, brushing her teeth. Totally okay. Unaware that she was obviously so not okay. But how would they know? Even Rage told herself she was fine. And the worst thing about it was, she believed herself. The red one in the morning def helped a lot to get going. It washed away the sickness as easily as the ocean an empty bottle lying on the beach. And the blue one at night or (early morning) helped her go to sleep. No need to worry…
After she had gotten fully dressed in a short jumpsuit and a pair of chuck converse she stepped outside of the bus. It was around noon and it was already “hot as fuck” as Rage would say in her own words. The sky a bright blue, not one cloud there to hide the sun that burned on her skin. It was the second day they’d play this venue. It was a huge Amphitheater and Rage couldn’t help but wish that someday her band would be able to fill this arena alone. But for now playing as the supporting act was more than she had ever dreamed of. She pushed her sunglasses higher up her nose and made her way to the catering area, where usually everyone was hanging out, if there was nothing else to do. And while studying her bands schedule, she found out she had nothing else to do, but doing soundcheck and performing later today. That was awesome and so she decided to take a bottle of coke with her and relax under a nearby tree for a bit. As much as she loved all the trouble and hectic, she also really loved to have kind of a day off until the afternoon. And so she lay down on the grass, closing here eyes, dozing off from time to time.
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Very different to Rage, Gerard had a very rough night for he hadn’t the blue ones to make him go to sleep. He went to bed much earlier then everybody else, because he simply couldn’t take it any longer. It hadn’t had so much to do with the fact he had felt tempted, but simply because he felt like over-obsessing and over-observing Rage’s every move. In a very parental kind of way. And even though he and Mikey had promised their parents they would keep an eye on Rage, he felt like if someone had watched HIS every move like he had done it the past few days with Rage, he had been more than pissed off. And so he decided to back off a bit and just watch what might or might not unfold before his eyes and then, when he was completely sure he needed to, would intervene. Even though he knew for him it had took a little more than just one intervention.
When Gerard was done with press that day and walked back to their bus, he saw Rage relaxing underneath a tree a few meters away from the busses. He couldn’t help but walk over and lay down next to her, putting on his sunglasses.
“Hey…”, he said, “You mind if I lay down beside you for a while?” Rage was turning her head and lifting her sunglasses for a while so she could see who it was, that was talking to her. It also made him see the dark shadows under her eyes… but… “fuck don’t overreact” he said to himself.
“Heyyy”, she said cheerfully smiling at him lying back down, “No, not at all, ‘course you can. Done with press for today?”
‘Yeah… So how are you doing?” Wow, well Gerard this isn’t awkward at all, is it? He thought rolling his eyes. For fucks sake: relax!
“I’m fine. Just relaxing a bit. We had time off all day and I thought the weather is far too nice not to enjoy it. The last show was insane. You guys rocked better than ever before!
‘Oh, well thank you”, Gerard said almost blushing, “…you know that we all are very proud of you, do you? Like Mikey, and mom and dad and me. You are really awesome up on that stage…”
She sat up and gave him a hug. A heartfelt hug. “Thank you!”, she whispered. That hug came as a bit of a surprise and so he just sat there returning the hug noting how small and fragile she felt – his little sister. When she let go of him it seemed like she had just wiped away some tears.
“Hey, are you really alright?!” he asked.
“Yeah”, she replied with a smile, “I’m just a bit emotional. But you now that runs in the family…. So, what else is up? How’s the comic coming along? You haven’t shown me any sketches in ages!” she said emphasizing the ages.
“Oh and how’s Bee doing?” She must have grown so much. I bet she’s almost as tall as me, but then again”, she laughed, “this isn’t hard to do.”
And with that question she had him. Gone were all the worries. Everything was okay this afternoon, no more awkwardness, just a good and lovely conversation between siblings. They sat there together all afternoon discussing comics, movies and outfit ideas, talking about Linds’ next art show and Bee. Gerard honestly was kind of sad, when had to leave for soundcheck. If only everything would have stayed like it was on this afternoon in August 2011 somewhere in Texas.
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Days and weeks passed. Rage’s birthday was just a around the corner. Soon she was going to be 27. And she’d be celebrating it. BIG! They were to a good quarter through the tour and from the way it looked it was going to be the most successful tour of their entire career. 10 years after starting out in just a basement they had come a long way… But rather than being happy about their anniversary and gathering material for a 2nd instalment of "Life on the Murder Scene", Gerard felt more than thoughtful. And yes you are right in thinking it was because of a small blonde-haired girl with way too much energy in the wrong places at the wrong time - Rage.
Nearly a month had passed and he really wondered how he seemed to be the only one noticing something was wrong with Rage for it wasn't like they all hadn't seen close friends or him and Mikey fall apart in front of their eyes. Fuck, they knew the signs. So where they just too swept up in their own stuff to notice or were they thinking it wasn't a problem?
Whatever it was, Rage might have been excellent in fooling all of them. But not Gerard. He knew the signs all to well. The pale skin, the weight loss, the obvious itch to scratch, the nose touching, the sunglasses... He gave it some weeks in the hopes he was wrong. Gave her the time to prove him wrong. But it weren't his nerves playing tricks on him, he was sure. And it was time to do something about it. It was time to talk to someone else about his suspicions. And so he decided to talk to the one person that was even closer to him than his brother(s): his wife.
He told her about his suspicions, his worries, about Rage’s behaviour, about how he had felt triggered weeks ago. Especially the last part was a hard one. But she wouldn’t judge him, she always knew how to make him feel better, she knew all the right things to say and when she had hung up, he felt a lot stronger than before he had made the phone call. Next he would try and talk to Rage all by himself and if that wouldn’t work he’d have Mikey join him. And if that wouldn’t work he’d have Ray and Frank join them and so on and so on… But maybe, maybe she would talk to him and all of that wouldn’t be necessary. Sadly he was more than sure that wouldn’t happen. And he was right after all…
I don't when I will find the time to update. But latest in a week. Until then, hope you're having a good time, hope you like the story, keep them reviews and ratings coming! ;)
Well at least one should think Rage new where she was going these 4 times she left the BBQ… And for the first and the second time she definitely knew, but the third and fourth time? Probably not so much. And for sure she didn’t remember it the morning after. When she woke up her head was pounding. One should think she had gotten used to it by now, but that wasn’t the case. In fact the headaches and nausea seemed to be getting worse each and every time, so that it has become a daily routine for her to go to the bathroom of their bus first thing in the morning to throw up what was left in her stomach of the day before and popping some painkillers to be able to get going afterwards. It had gotten so normal for her that she didn’t even think about what she was doing. The combination was working well. But one thing she always made sure of was that the door was locked and that the shower was turned on, when she sat on her knees vomiting into the toilet. Nobody needed to know she was sick, right? And for sure nobody had to know she had been sick EVERY morning of the past 3 weeks, right? And so far she seemed to have done a good job in keeping it a secret, because she always needed the longest in the shower and so nobody was suspicious that it took her 20 minutes in the bathroom to get ready in the morning. Her bandmates just saw her coming out of the bathroom every morning with a towel around her head, freshly showered, brushing her teeth. Totally okay. Unaware that she was obviously so not okay. But how would they know? Even Rage told herself she was fine. And the worst thing about it was, she believed herself. The red one in the morning def helped a lot to get going. It washed away the sickness as easily as the ocean an empty bottle lying on the beach. And the blue one at night or (early morning) helped her go to sleep. No need to worry…
After she had gotten fully dressed in a short jumpsuit and a pair of chuck converse she stepped outside of the bus. It was around noon and it was already “hot as fuck” as Rage would say in her own words. The sky a bright blue, not one cloud there to hide the sun that burned on her skin. It was the second day they’d play this venue. It was a huge Amphitheater and Rage couldn’t help but wish that someday her band would be able to fill this arena alone. But for now playing as the supporting act was more than she had ever dreamed of. She pushed her sunglasses higher up her nose and made her way to the catering area, where usually everyone was hanging out, if there was nothing else to do. And while studying her bands schedule, she found out she had nothing else to do, but doing soundcheck and performing later today. That was awesome and so she decided to take a bottle of coke with her and relax under a nearby tree for a bit. As much as she loved all the trouble and hectic, she also really loved to have kind of a day off until the afternoon. And so she lay down on the grass, closing here eyes, dozing off from time to time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Very different to Rage, Gerard had a very rough night for he hadn’t the blue ones to make him go to sleep. He went to bed much earlier then everybody else, because he simply couldn’t take it any longer. It hadn’t had so much to do with the fact he had felt tempted, but simply because he felt like over-obsessing and over-observing Rage’s every move. In a very parental kind of way. And even though he and Mikey had promised their parents they would keep an eye on Rage, he felt like if someone had watched HIS every move like he had done it the past few days with Rage, he had been more than pissed off. And so he decided to back off a bit and just watch what might or might not unfold before his eyes and then, when he was completely sure he needed to, would intervene. Even though he knew for him it had took a little more than just one intervention.
When Gerard was done with press that day and walked back to their bus, he saw Rage relaxing underneath a tree a few meters away from the busses. He couldn’t help but walk over and lay down next to her, putting on his sunglasses.
“Hey…”, he said, “You mind if I lay down beside you for a while?” Rage was turning her head and lifting her sunglasses for a while so she could see who it was, that was talking to her. It also made him see the dark shadows under her eyes… but… “fuck don’t overreact” he said to himself.
“Heyyy”, she said cheerfully smiling at him lying back down, “No, not at all, ‘course you can. Done with press for today?”
‘Yeah… So how are you doing?” Wow, well Gerard this isn’t awkward at all, is it? He thought rolling his eyes. For fucks sake: relax!
“I’m fine. Just relaxing a bit. We had time off all day and I thought the weather is far too nice not to enjoy it. The last show was insane. You guys rocked better than ever before!
‘Oh, well thank you”, Gerard said almost blushing, “…you know that we all are very proud of you, do you? Like Mikey, and mom and dad and me. You are really awesome up on that stage…”
She sat up and gave him a hug. A heartfelt hug. “Thank you!”, she whispered. That hug came as a bit of a surprise and so he just sat there returning the hug noting how small and fragile she felt – his little sister. When she let go of him it seemed like she had just wiped away some tears.
“Hey, are you really alright?!” he asked.
“Yeah”, she replied with a smile, “I’m just a bit emotional. But you now that runs in the family…. So, what else is up? How’s the comic coming along? You haven’t shown me any sketches in ages!” she said emphasizing the ages.
“Oh and how’s Bee doing?” She must have grown so much. I bet she’s almost as tall as me, but then again”, she laughed, “this isn’t hard to do.”
And with that question she had him. Gone were all the worries. Everything was okay this afternoon, no more awkwardness, just a good and lovely conversation between siblings. They sat there together all afternoon discussing comics, movies and outfit ideas, talking about Linds’ next art show and Bee. Gerard honestly was kind of sad, when had to leave for soundcheck. If only everything would have stayed like it was on this afternoon in August 2011 somewhere in Texas.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Days and weeks passed. Rage’s birthday was just a around the corner. Soon she was going to be 27. And she’d be celebrating it. BIG! They were to a good quarter through the tour and from the way it looked it was going to be the most successful tour of their entire career. 10 years after starting out in just a basement they had come a long way… But rather than being happy about their anniversary and gathering material for a 2nd instalment of "Life on the Murder Scene", Gerard felt more than thoughtful. And yes you are right in thinking it was because of a small blonde-haired girl with way too much energy in the wrong places at the wrong time - Rage.
Nearly a month had passed and he really wondered how he seemed to be the only one noticing something was wrong with Rage for it wasn't like they all hadn't seen close friends or him and Mikey fall apart in front of their eyes. Fuck, they knew the signs. So where they just too swept up in their own stuff to notice or were they thinking it wasn't a problem?
Whatever it was, Rage might have been excellent in fooling all of them. But not Gerard. He knew the signs all to well. The pale skin, the weight loss, the obvious itch to scratch, the nose touching, the sunglasses... He gave it some weeks in the hopes he was wrong. Gave her the time to prove him wrong. But it weren't his nerves playing tricks on him, he was sure. And it was time to do something about it. It was time to talk to someone else about his suspicions. And so he decided to talk to the one person that was even closer to him than his brother(s): his wife.
He told her about his suspicions, his worries, about Rage’s behaviour, about how he had felt triggered weeks ago. Especially the last part was a hard one. But she wouldn’t judge him, she always knew how to make him feel better, she knew all the right things to say and when she had hung up, he felt a lot stronger than before he had made the phone call. Next he would try and talk to Rage all by himself and if that wouldn’t work he’d have Mikey join him. And if that wouldn’t work he’d have Ray and Frank join them and so on and so on… But maybe, maybe she would talk to him and all of that wouldn’t be necessary. Sadly he was more than sure that wouldn’t happen. And he was right after all…
I don't when I will find the time to update. But latest in a week. Until then, hope you're having a good time, hope you like the story, keep them reviews and ratings coming! ;)
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