Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Discoveries
Jon sat at the table in the tour bus, his feet kicked up on it as he drank a cup of coffee, reading some miscellaneous magazine Spencer had picked up from a gas station. Jon hated being on the road, and couldn't wait to get the next hotel room. It would be another night, but he knew it would be worth it. There was giggling in the bunk area, the sound of Ryan and Spencer planning something that had to be bad for either Brendon or him.
Speaking of, he had no idea where the other boy had gone off to.
Brendon had mumbled something about going out for a smoke break before walking out the door with just his jacket and a pack of cigarettes. Jon put the magazine down, taking a sip of his coffee as he looked at the time. It told him that he had been gone for at least a half hour. Jon sighed, kicking his feet off of the table. He put the mug down, rubbing his head as he tried to figure out where the other boy had gone to.
He stood, walking to the door for the bunk area. He could hear the other two talking on the other side, the door muffling their words. Jon opened it, the other two staring up at him with mischievous grins.
"Hey Jon, when was the last time you got laid?" Ryan was smirking up at him, the two boys sitting on the floor with some cards between them. Jon scratched the back of his head, the question seemingly coming from nowhere.
"God, I don't know. Like a month ago or something. Why is that important?"
"No reason." Spencer said as he placed a card down on one of the stacks they had.
"Okay. Well, I'm going to look for Brendon. You two keep...doing what you were doing." Jon closed the door, his brows knitted together as he tried to figure out why he had been given the random question. He shook his head, running his hand through his hair before slipping on his shoes and grabbing a jacket. He left the bus, walking down the street of an unfamiliar city.
It was cold outside, a blanket of snow covering the ground. Jon trudged through it, the snow melting into his shoes to chill his feet. The wind blew, the cold freezing his ears and nose, his cheeks quickly becoming a rosy red. He shoved his hands in his pocket, wishing he had something other than his jacket to keep him warm. Every breath he took made smoke in the air, little clouds forming before disappearing seconds later.
Where to look?
He spotted a park that seemed close, starting to walk towards it. Of course, as he walked in the frigid air he found that the park was a lot farther then it seemed. He wandered around the park; checking the marry-go-round, the swings, the slide, everything. No sign of their brown haired singer. He sighed, deciding to try the venue. He made his way back to the sidewalk, everything from his ankles down feeling completely soaking and frozen.
The sun was hidden behind a sea of clouds, making the only light come from the various street lamps. It gave off yellow light, making Jon shiver. It was like a scene from a bad horror movie. He could tell it was the venue when he saw a small crowd of people standing in front of a small theater. Half of which were wearing shirts with the bands logo on it. He slipped past the group of kids screaming at him, showing his ID to get in the back of the theater.
Sure enough Brendon was sitting at the edge of the stage, his legs pulled against his chest as he stared blankly at the pit. His heels were on the edge, his toes hanging over the edge. He looked almost lifeless, everything about him screaming that something was wrong. Jon made his way over to the edge, sitting down right next to Brendon. The younger man seemed to jump at the movement, obviously not expecting there to be anyone else.
"Think we'll have a crowd tonight?" Jon asked as he fished a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket. Brendon shrugged, not even glancing at Jon. "It's freezing outside. Just in case you were wondering." Jon lit a cigarette he had pulled out for himself, offering the packet to Brendon. "So what are you doing up here all by your lonesome?" Brendon took the pack lighting himself one.
"Smoke break." He mumbled before he took a drag of the cigarette. Jon laughed.
"Yeah, for like an hour." Jon laughed a little. They were silent, Brendon continuing to look at the pit as he took a drag of his cancer stick, flicking the ash off like it was second nature. "Come on, tell me what's wrong." Brendon shook his head.
"I just, I hate it." Jon took a drag, blowing the smoke out slowly as he watched Brendon. "We deserve to be happy just as much as they do." Jon froze, closing his eyes as he let the words sink in. Brendon was right, he wasn't going to deny that, but there wasn't anything that they could do about it. At least, there didn't seem to be anything they could fix.
"I know Brendon."
It was two days later that the group got to stay in a hotel once more. This time the four of them went into one room, deciding to play a game before separating. Brendon didn't seem too happy about it, but Ryan and Spencer seemed excited enough to convince Jon to play. They set up their drinks, taking the caps off of the bottles as they passed them around. Ryan was the first to speak.
"Truth or dare?" Spencer and Jon noticed Brendon down his drink.
"Sure." Jon said with a shrug.
"Why not." Spencer agreed. Brendon grumbled his response but didn't bother to stand to leave.
"Okay, how about Brendon first." Ryan said with a smirk. Brendon shifted, opening another beer.
"Truth I guess." Spencer and Ryan exchanged knowing glances before Spencer spoke the words they were both thinking.
"Do you love Jon?" Jon and Brendon froze before looking at each other. Brendon looked lost, Jon looking confused.
"Fuck no." Brendon said as he stared at the other boy. Spencer and Ryan both furrowed their brows.
"But you told me that you did." Spencer said as he stared at him. Brendon shook his head while standing. He stormed to the door, completely fed up with the people that surrounded him.
"Why did you do that?" Jon asked with his brows knitted together. He couldn't comprehend why his friends were behaving the way they were. Ryan stood, taking a nervous glance down at Spencer before following Brendon out of the door.
"He told me that he loved you." Spencer said as he stared at Jon.
Jon sighed. "What were his exact words Spence?" Spencer told him what Brendon had said, Jon shaking his head with each word. "He doesn't love me Spence. He loves Ryan." Spencer watched as Jon took a sip from his beer.
"What?"
"That's why he's been so down recently." The two stayed silent for a minute, both lost in their own thoughts. Jon broke that silence a minute later. "Spencer, do you still love me?" Spencer glanced up at him.
"Of course I do."
"Then why are you doing this?" Tears were welling up in Jon's eyes, his voice shaky.
"I-I don't know..." Jon sighed, quickly rubbing away the tears before they could fall. "I just don't know what to do." Spencer had a scared look on his face, his features screaming at Jon to not be mad at him.
"I do." Spencer looked at Jon, staring into his now red eyes. Spencer stayed silent, listening to what Jon had to say.
Brendon was sitting by the pool looking at his reflection in the clear blue water when Ryan found him.
"What's wrong Brenny?" Brendon closed his eyes, knowing that Ryan wasn't going to make him feel better. "C'mon. You know you can tell me." Brendon snapped his eyes open, looking over at Ryan with malice that could kill.
"Like you really fucking care. You've been ignoring me for the past few months." Ryan tried to stop him.
"Brendon I-"
"No. No, don't fucking start." Brendon was crying now, though his voice kept that out. "Just leave me alone." Ryan bit his bottom lip, Brendon going back to staring at his reflection. Ryan tried again.
"Brendon, please." Brendon stayed silent for a moment before mumbling something under his breath. "Brendon, you know I can't hear you when you mumble."
"I fucking love you, alright!?" Brendon screamed the words, standing soon after. Ryan grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stay with the older boy. Brendon pulled his arm, trying to get Ryan to loosen his grip.
"Wait Brenny, just listen to me for a minute." Ryan took a deep breath and Brendon tore his wrist from Ryan's grip. Loving honey eyes met big sad brown orbs. "I adore you Brendon. I may not love you like I love Spencer, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you." Brendon stared at him completely dumbfounded. Ryan's eyes were honest, his words as sweet as honey. Brendon's heart pounded his legs giving out.
There was a muffled scream as water soon encased him in a watery coffin. He was to frozen to struggle, the water quickly filling his lungs. Twp arms wrapped around him, pulling him out of the water. "You okay Brenny?" Brendon coughed up water, leaning heavily on Ryan. He buried his face in Ryan's neck, breathing heavily. Ryan rubbed his back, humming soft nothings in his ear.
"Ryan." Brendon mumbled the word, a shallow breathy sound. Ryan smiled, moving so he was looking right in Brendon's eyes. Slowly, almost painfully slow for Brendon, Ryan moved his head closer, their lips centimeters apart. Brendon was silently begging for them to meet. He was close enough that he could feel Ryan's breath on his lips, his heart racing as he waited.
"Spencer." Ryan mumbled, backing his head away from Brendon's. He could hear Brendon breath out in a disappointed way, the sound being filled with longing. "I'm sorry Brendon but you know I ca-"
Lips against lips, the taste of strawberries and cigarettes mixing with chlorine. Ryan didn't push him away, loving the feeling to much to let go. Instead he wrapped his arms around Brendon's neck, tangling his fingers in Brendon's dark brown hair as he pushed their lips closer together. Brendon walked forward, pushing Ryan against the edge of the pool as he licked the boys wet lips. Ryan gave a soft moan as Brendon bit gently on his bottom lip, pulling it towards him.
"Ryan? Brendon?" Brendon pulled away from Ryan as he pushed him away. They both looked up to see a smirking Jon. "Guess this will be easier than I thought it would be." They both looked at him, Ryan's face becoming flushed as Brendon thought up a million excuses as to what they were doing. "Spencer and I want to talk to you. We'll be waiting in the room." He walked off, whistling with his hands in his pockets.
"I'm sorry." Ryan ignored Brendon's words, pulling himself out of the pool. He pushed the hair out of his face, looking down at Brendon, who was also pulling himself out of the pool.
"Just forget it." Ryan mumbled as he walked off. Brendon sighed, combing through his wet hair with his hand. It seemed that everything was falling apart. He followed Ryan back to the main part of the hotel, leaving the cold air outside as he got on an elevator to their room.
Ryan was already changing out of his wet clothes when Brendon made it back to the room. Spencer and Jon were on the bed, sitting and talking almost silently. Brendon closed his eyes and breathed out, telling himself to be calm. He changed out of his soaking clothing, hearing Jon and Spencer whispering back and forth. He made his way to the bed, sitting across from Ryan.
"You okay?" Spencer whispered as he looked at Brendon who shrugged in response. The four were silent for a minute, each one collecting their thoughts before Jon spoke.
"I have a proposition." There was the sound of a lighter opening, Ryan lighting the end of a cigarette. Brendon stole one, lighting it from Ryan's before sticking it between his lips. Jon exhaled, trying to find the right words. "Ryan, Spencer and I were talking and we both decided that it would be okay if we all switched off." Ryan blew the smoke out, tapping the ash off and onto the floor.
"Switched off?" He looked at Jon, noticing the stray strands of hair that were falling in his face. Brendon was staring at his lap, taking in as much smoke from the cancer stick as he could.
"Yeah, switch off. Brendon and I get the fact that you two" Jon pointed at Spencer and Ryan, watching as Spencer stole the cigarette from between Ryan's lips to take a drag himself. "absolutely love each other and shit, but where does that leave us? We both know that you two like us, even if it's not as much as you like each other, but we're still getting left out. So, I was thinking; maybe every once in a while you two will take a night away from each other to spend with us?" The end seemed to be more of a question, Brendon being the only one who wasn't looking up.
"You really think their going to do that?" Brendon mumbled shallowly. Spencer smacked him on the back of his head.
"Why don't you try me?" Ryan said with a raised brow. Brendon glanced up, his expression showing his shock. Spencer sighed happily.
"So it's settled then."
"Can we start tonight?" Jon asked hopefully. Spencer glanced at Ryan who gave him a soft smile, kissing his cheek before whispering in his ear. The other two not hearing a word he said. Spencer took Jon's hand, walking to the other room. Brendon stared at Ryan, his Adams apple moving slightly as he swallowed.
"Are we actually doing this?" He whispered as he stared at the other boy. Ryan nodded, climbing on top of Brendon.
"Only if you want to." Brendon put out his cigarette on the bedside table, tossing it onto the wood surface. Ryan put his lips against Brendon's neck, breathing out deeply to send shivers down Brendon's spine. "Do you want to?"
"This isn't a dream, is it?" Ryan smiled laughing lightly against Brendon's skin.
"Depends on what you would call a dream." Ryan gave Brendon a soft kiss. "What do you say?" Brendon was noticeably trembling.
"Yes."
~~~~~
Thank you to everyone that reviewed last chapter. I agree with all of you; Spencer needs to listen. And I know what you're thinking. I said I would have some nice smut in this chapter, and yet, there is none. That's because it took forever to get this part done and I just hate making you guys wait for days on end without an update.
So there will be ANOTHER part to this, and it will be pure smut and whatnot. There will be three sections, and I'll give brownie points to whoever can guess the order of it.
-xoxo Pansy.
Speaking of, he had no idea where the other boy had gone off to.
Brendon had mumbled something about going out for a smoke break before walking out the door with just his jacket and a pack of cigarettes. Jon put the magazine down, taking a sip of his coffee as he looked at the time. It told him that he had been gone for at least a half hour. Jon sighed, kicking his feet off of the table. He put the mug down, rubbing his head as he tried to figure out where the other boy had gone to.
He stood, walking to the door for the bunk area. He could hear the other two talking on the other side, the door muffling their words. Jon opened it, the other two staring up at him with mischievous grins.
"Hey Jon, when was the last time you got laid?" Ryan was smirking up at him, the two boys sitting on the floor with some cards between them. Jon scratched the back of his head, the question seemingly coming from nowhere.
"God, I don't know. Like a month ago or something. Why is that important?"
"No reason." Spencer said as he placed a card down on one of the stacks they had.
"Okay. Well, I'm going to look for Brendon. You two keep...doing what you were doing." Jon closed the door, his brows knitted together as he tried to figure out why he had been given the random question. He shook his head, running his hand through his hair before slipping on his shoes and grabbing a jacket. He left the bus, walking down the street of an unfamiliar city.
It was cold outside, a blanket of snow covering the ground. Jon trudged through it, the snow melting into his shoes to chill his feet. The wind blew, the cold freezing his ears and nose, his cheeks quickly becoming a rosy red. He shoved his hands in his pocket, wishing he had something other than his jacket to keep him warm. Every breath he took made smoke in the air, little clouds forming before disappearing seconds later.
Where to look?
He spotted a park that seemed close, starting to walk towards it. Of course, as he walked in the frigid air he found that the park was a lot farther then it seemed. He wandered around the park; checking the marry-go-round, the swings, the slide, everything. No sign of their brown haired singer. He sighed, deciding to try the venue. He made his way back to the sidewalk, everything from his ankles down feeling completely soaking and frozen.
The sun was hidden behind a sea of clouds, making the only light come from the various street lamps. It gave off yellow light, making Jon shiver. It was like a scene from a bad horror movie. He could tell it was the venue when he saw a small crowd of people standing in front of a small theater. Half of which were wearing shirts with the bands logo on it. He slipped past the group of kids screaming at him, showing his ID to get in the back of the theater.
Sure enough Brendon was sitting at the edge of the stage, his legs pulled against his chest as he stared blankly at the pit. His heels were on the edge, his toes hanging over the edge. He looked almost lifeless, everything about him screaming that something was wrong. Jon made his way over to the edge, sitting down right next to Brendon. The younger man seemed to jump at the movement, obviously not expecting there to be anyone else.
"Think we'll have a crowd tonight?" Jon asked as he fished a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket. Brendon shrugged, not even glancing at Jon. "It's freezing outside. Just in case you were wondering." Jon lit a cigarette he had pulled out for himself, offering the packet to Brendon. "So what are you doing up here all by your lonesome?" Brendon took the pack lighting himself one.
"Smoke break." He mumbled before he took a drag of the cigarette. Jon laughed.
"Yeah, for like an hour." Jon laughed a little. They were silent, Brendon continuing to look at the pit as he took a drag of his cancer stick, flicking the ash off like it was second nature. "Come on, tell me what's wrong." Brendon shook his head.
"I just, I hate it." Jon took a drag, blowing the smoke out slowly as he watched Brendon. "We deserve to be happy just as much as they do." Jon froze, closing his eyes as he let the words sink in. Brendon was right, he wasn't going to deny that, but there wasn't anything that they could do about it. At least, there didn't seem to be anything they could fix.
"I know Brendon."
It was two days later that the group got to stay in a hotel once more. This time the four of them went into one room, deciding to play a game before separating. Brendon didn't seem too happy about it, but Ryan and Spencer seemed excited enough to convince Jon to play. They set up their drinks, taking the caps off of the bottles as they passed them around. Ryan was the first to speak.
"Truth or dare?" Spencer and Jon noticed Brendon down his drink.
"Sure." Jon said with a shrug.
"Why not." Spencer agreed. Brendon grumbled his response but didn't bother to stand to leave.
"Okay, how about Brendon first." Ryan said with a smirk. Brendon shifted, opening another beer.
"Truth I guess." Spencer and Ryan exchanged knowing glances before Spencer spoke the words they were both thinking.
"Do you love Jon?" Jon and Brendon froze before looking at each other. Brendon looked lost, Jon looking confused.
"Fuck no." Brendon said as he stared at the other boy. Spencer and Ryan both furrowed their brows.
"But you told me that you did." Spencer said as he stared at him. Brendon shook his head while standing. He stormed to the door, completely fed up with the people that surrounded him.
"Why did you do that?" Jon asked with his brows knitted together. He couldn't comprehend why his friends were behaving the way they were. Ryan stood, taking a nervous glance down at Spencer before following Brendon out of the door.
"He told me that he loved you." Spencer said as he stared at Jon.
Jon sighed. "What were his exact words Spence?" Spencer told him what Brendon had said, Jon shaking his head with each word. "He doesn't love me Spence. He loves Ryan." Spencer watched as Jon took a sip from his beer.
"What?"
"That's why he's been so down recently." The two stayed silent for a minute, both lost in their own thoughts. Jon broke that silence a minute later. "Spencer, do you still love me?" Spencer glanced up at him.
"Of course I do."
"Then why are you doing this?" Tears were welling up in Jon's eyes, his voice shaky.
"I-I don't know..." Jon sighed, quickly rubbing away the tears before they could fall. "I just don't know what to do." Spencer had a scared look on his face, his features screaming at Jon to not be mad at him.
"I do." Spencer looked at Jon, staring into his now red eyes. Spencer stayed silent, listening to what Jon had to say.
Brendon was sitting by the pool looking at his reflection in the clear blue water when Ryan found him.
"What's wrong Brenny?" Brendon closed his eyes, knowing that Ryan wasn't going to make him feel better. "C'mon. You know you can tell me." Brendon snapped his eyes open, looking over at Ryan with malice that could kill.
"Like you really fucking care. You've been ignoring me for the past few months." Ryan tried to stop him.
"Brendon I-"
"No. No, don't fucking start." Brendon was crying now, though his voice kept that out. "Just leave me alone." Ryan bit his bottom lip, Brendon going back to staring at his reflection. Ryan tried again.
"Brendon, please." Brendon stayed silent for a moment before mumbling something under his breath. "Brendon, you know I can't hear you when you mumble."
"I fucking love you, alright!?" Brendon screamed the words, standing soon after. Ryan grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stay with the older boy. Brendon pulled his arm, trying to get Ryan to loosen his grip.
"Wait Brenny, just listen to me for a minute." Ryan took a deep breath and Brendon tore his wrist from Ryan's grip. Loving honey eyes met big sad brown orbs. "I adore you Brendon. I may not love you like I love Spencer, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you." Brendon stared at him completely dumbfounded. Ryan's eyes were honest, his words as sweet as honey. Brendon's heart pounded his legs giving out.
There was a muffled scream as water soon encased him in a watery coffin. He was to frozen to struggle, the water quickly filling his lungs. Twp arms wrapped around him, pulling him out of the water. "You okay Brenny?" Brendon coughed up water, leaning heavily on Ryan. He buried his face in Ryan's neck, breathing heavily. Ryan rubbed his back, humming soft nothings in his ear.
"Ryan." Brendon mumbled the word, a shallow breathy sound. Ryan smiled, moving so he was looking right in Brendon's eyes. Slowly, almost painfully slow for Brendon, Ryan moved his head closer, their lips centimeters apart. Brendon was silently begging for them to meet. He was close enough that he could feel Ryan's breath on his lips, his heart racing as he waited.
"Spencer." Ryan mumbled, backing his head away from Brendon's. He could hear Brendon breath out in a disappointed way, the sound being filled with longing. "I'm sorry Brendon but you know I ca-"
Lips against lips, the taste of strawberries and cigarettes mixing with chlorine. Ryan didn't push him away, loving the feeling to much to let go. Instead he wrapped his arms around Brendon's neck, tangling his fingers in Brendon's dark brown hair as he pushed their lips closer together. Brendon walked forward, pushing Ryan against the edge of the pool as he licked the boys wet lips. Ryan gave a soft moan as Brendon bit gently on his bottom lip, pulling it towards him.
"Ryan? Brendon?" Brendon pulled away from Ryan as he pushed him away. They both looked up to see a smirking Jon. "Guess this will be easier than I thought it would be." They both looked at him, Ryan's face becoming flushed as Brendon thought up a million excuses as to what they were doing. "Spencer and I want to talk to you. We'll be waiting in the room." He walked off, whistling with his hands in his pockets.
"I'm sorry." Ryan ignored Brendon's words, pulling himself out of the pool. He pushed the hair out of his face, looking down at Brendon, who was also pulling himself out of the pool.
"Just forget it." Ryan mumbled as he walked off. Brendon sighed, combing through his wet hair with his hand. It seemed that everything was falling apart. He followed Ryan back to the main part of the hotel, leaving the cold air outside as he got on an elevator to their room.
Ryan was already changing out of his wet clothes when Brendon made it back to the room. Spencer and Jon were on the bed, sitting and talking almost silently. Brendon closed his eyes and breathed out, telling himself to be calm. He changed out of his soaking clothing, hearing Jon and Spencer whispering back and forth. He made his way to the bed, sitting across from Ryan.
"You okay?" Spencer whispered as he looked at Brendon who shrugged in response. The four were silent for a minute, each one collecting their thoughts before Jon spoke.
"I have a proposition." There was the sound of a lighter opening, Ryan lighting the end of a cigarette. Brendon stole one, lighting it from Ryan's before sticking it between his lips. Jon exhaled, trying to find the right words. "Ryan, Spencer and I were talking and we both decided that it would be okay if we all switched off." Ryan blew the smoke out, tapping the ash off and onto the floor.
"Switched off?" He looked at Jon, noticing the stray strands of hair that were falling in his face. Brendon was staring at his lap, taking in as much smoke from the cancer stick as he could.
"Yeah, switch off. Brendon and I get the fact that you two" Jon pointed at Spencer and Ryan, watching as Spencer stole the cigarette from between Ryan's lips to take a drag himself. "absolutely love each other and shit, but where does that leave us? We both know that you two like us, even if it's not as much as you like each other, but we're still getting left out. So, I was thinking; maybe every once in a while you two will take a night away from each other to spend with us?" The end seemed to be more of a question, Brendon being the only one who wasn't looking up.
"You really think their going to do that?" Brendon mumbled shallowly. Spencer smacked him on the back of his head.
"Why don't you try me?" Ryan said with a raised brow. Brendon glanced up, his expression showing his shock. Spencer sighed happily.
"So it's settled then."
"Can we start tonight?" Jon asked hopefully. Spencer glanced at Ryan who gave him a soft smile, kissing his cheek before whispering in his ear. The other two not hearing a word he said. Spencer took Jon's hand, walking to the other room. Brendon stared at Ryan, his Adams apple moving slightly as he swallowed.
"Are we actually doing this?" He whispered as he stared at the other boy. Ryan nodded, climbing on top of Brendon.
"Only if you want to." Brendon put out his cigarette on the bedside table, tossing it onto the wood surface. Ryan put his lips against Brendon's neck, breathing out deeply to send shivers down Brendon's spine. "Do you want to?"
"This isn't a dream, is it?" Ryan smiled laughing lightly against Brendon's skin.
"Depends on what you would call a dream." Ryan gave Brendon a soft kiss. "What do you say?" Brendon was noticeably trembling.
"Yes."
~~~~~
Thank you to everyone that reviewed last chapter. I agree with all of you; Spencer needs to listen. And I know what you're thinking. I said I would have some nice smut in this chapter, and yet, there is none. That's because it took forever to get this part done and I just hate making you guys wait for days on end without an update.
So there will be ANOTHER part to this, and it will be pure smut and whatnot. There will be three sections, and I'll give brownie points to whoever can guess the order of it.
-xoxo Pansy.
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