FicWad

"I have these terrors. Not tremors, terrors. They shake through me like a hurricane. No, more powerful. They wake me up with screams worse then any I could've managed on my own, worse the cries of pain. They shake me as if my body isn't already shuddering from the cold of it's hands. These terrors, they won't let me sleep. They won't let me be sane. These terrors are worse then any tremor could ever be."
The smooth voice of a girl with long brown hair with the smallest dash of pink sprawled out in her hair, was cracked as she explained her only terrors. Her eyes, brown with worry and wide with the horror that she felt during the terrors, were now as wide as saucers. Across from her sat a man with dark colored hair, hard to place as a color, who's fingers were wrapped around a tape recorder, his lips pursed with thought as he soaked in the girl's words.
"What do these terrors feel like?" the man asked, his hoarse voice almost impersonating fingers scratching against a chalk board.
The girl sighed as she closed her eyes, as if rewinding time to when the terrors happen. "It's like a wave. Or the ocean. You're walking into the ocean and there are those small waves the crash against you, then there are the ones that drown you under as they roll on top. You see your life flash before you and when you come back up sometimes you wish you could have stayed down longer. These terrors scare me, but they've built a wall around me. A wall no one can get through. Almost like a new me and inside the outside is someone who can't cope with the outside world and can't cope with anything."
"This wall, why do you think it has been built?" the man now had a pad of paper sprawled on his lap, in one hand a pen, the other a tape recorder, his eyes screwed up as he tried to balance the pad between his legs.
"The wall is for my protection," the girl shrugged and her eyes grazed the floor of the plain room. How boring it was. Basically it was grey with a beige rug, almost depressing in a manner. "People have hurt me too much, I don't want to be in ruins. I want to be as strong as everyone else. But what's so funny about it is even though I'm tough, no one notices me. I'm that speck of dust in the air that floats around helplessly, searching for someone to land on. But if I find anyone they just brush me off before I even settle down."
The man nodded and scribbled down as his fingers tightened around the recorder. "Claudia, one more thing."
"Yes?" Claudia straightened as he finally mentioned her name in the whole time they were talking.
"Before we started talking about the terrors you mentioned those two boys, do they get passed your wall?" The mans expression was genuine, his eyes hardened despite is expression.
"Cameron and Matt?" Claudia smiled faintly but it ran off her face, leaving the lingering feeling of warmness to cling in the air. "I like them. They make me smile when I'm with them. Not the fake kind that I put on for people, the kind that anyone could notice is real. They make me feel that if I was invisible, at least I could be seen by them."
"They make you forget about your terrors then?"
"Oh no," Claudia shook her head frantically. "No one can. They make me become sane, no matter how overrated that may be. They make me forget about the pain the terrors bring me."
"They make you happy then?"
"I'd say they do a lot more then that. They are like my safe house."

The cold air smashed against Claudia's face as she stepped into the below freezing, all that was over her being her clothes and one Fall Out Boy hoodie draped lazily over her shoulders. Her eyes were clinging to her shoes as she walked across the pale, cold ground that crunched under her foot no matter if anything was under her foot or not. Claudia's mind was full of hatred and the filling of mutual disgust for how much she poured out to that man, the man who could tell anyone about her secrets even though he swears different. Claudia ignored the constant push and pull of the wind, taunting her to fight back against it, as well as the howling of drunk laughter. The town she lived in was full of drunks and addicts, then there were the sane ones. But even the sane ones were insane somehow, Claudia thought to herself as the drunks approached in a lazy fashion.
"Hey Claudia!" one hiccuped, pushing his dark brown hair out of his eyes. "How are you- hic- going?"
Claudia rolled her head to the side. Her eyes met the boys and a smile danced on her face. "Good I guess. How about you Chris? You getting bored of becoming drunk every night? Getting bored of no girl loving you? Or am I just guessing wrong?"
Chris sneered and his eyes, his blood-shot eyes, steered away from hers as he hiccuped uncomfortably. Claudia once had been in love with Chris, or so she believed, and they had dated till Chris became an alcoholic. Claudia broke away from him as he became more and more rough and mad at her and Claudia always loved to shove how miserable he was in his own face. Claudia pushed her hands in her pockets as she strolled around the drunks, her shoulder slapping into Chris's as she passed by. Claudia sighed as she passed him and her eyes continued their stare down at her shoes. She needed Matt or Cameron, or maybe she needed to be solitary, she couldn't tell. All she wanted was comfort, even if it was solitary or not. Claudia looked up to see the sky darken, just as it was supposed to. It was the Black Time, the time where the world grows cold to allow travel of "nirvana". The nirvana this world had created was to suck out any hatred from people and allow everyone to experience one nirvana per week. Claudia sighed and turned, her eyes grazing every house she passed. It never worked on her, she was practically immune to it. Maybe it was her terrors that made this possible, maybe it was just her.