FicWad

At around five, I asked Mark to make sure everyone clocked out while I went for another tour of the zoo. I checked on the panthers, the lions, and the cheetahs; I made sure the temperature of the reptile house was moderately warm; I measured the level of the hippopotamus’s water, making sure it was deep enough for them. When I reached the giraffes, Izzy was just closing up, and Axl was watching him. I felt a brief, unreasoning surge of jealousy rush through me; though I believed what Izzy had told me, about how he and Axl weren’t together and never really had been, I hated seeing how close they were, knowing I’d probably never be at that level of confidence with him.

Izzy glanced up as he clicked the doors shut and caught sight of me. He nodded once, and Axl turned towards me. He narrowed his eyes slightly, but didn’t say anything. I walked up to him.

“Hey, Axl.”

“What? You need a ride home?”

“I left my car here last night when we went to the bar, so no.”

Axl looked over his shoulder at Izzy, but Izzy was still closing up. With a sigh, he turned back to me:

“Slash, look, I think you’re a nice guy, but like I said already, I’m not gonna talk about it until I’ve gotten all my thoughts collected.”

I frowned. It wasn’t fair, how he just expected me to go along with him, what he wanted, his needs before mine. Izzy had said it took four years for Axl to be okay with him again. I was not going to wait that long.

“That isn’t fair,” I snapped, and Axl, who had been turning towards Izzy, suddenly swung back around to face me. I couldn’t really read his expression, but I figured, judging from his darkening irises and slightly raised eyebrows, that I was the first guy ever to talk back to him—and especially twice, in such a short amount of time.

“Yeah, well, life’s not fucking fair,” he shot back, “but you don’t hear me whining about the shit I had to go through. You don’t know about unfair, Slash, so shut the fuck up.”

I glanced at Izzy, who had finished closing up by now and who was watching us from beneath hooded lids, an expression of mild curiosity on his face. I knew it was probably a really stupid idea, but before I could stop myself, the words came out:

“Izzy told me about you and him, back in Lafayette.”

Behind Axl, I saw Izzy’s eyes widen ever so slightly, but he couldn’t say or do anything to warn me because the redhead was already turning around. Besides, the damage had already been done.

“You what?” Axl snarled angrily. “God fucking dammit, Izz, I tell you shit in strict confidence, I expect Indiana and all its dark secrets to stay where I left them, and then you just go spilling it all out to some guy we barely know?”

“Well, what the fuck did you expect me to do, Ax?” Izzy hissed. “I mean, you told me about the two of you last night at your house; I just wanted to help Slash out.”

“This shit is between me and Slash, not all three of us.”

“Then why the fuck aren’t you letting me talk about it?!” I said suddenly. Axl’s shoulders tensed up under his thin shirt, and he replied without turning around:

“I already told you, it’s way too fucking complicated.”

“What is so complicated about this?” I took a step forward and put my hand on his shoulder. He jerked away from me and turned, but still, he didn’t meet my eyes.

“Don’t touch me,” he muttered. He walked past me, flicking his wrist at Izzy and causing another little flash of jealousy to pass through me. I watched them walk off together, and I felt like crying. Fuck him, I thought bitterly. I don’t fucking need him to care about me anyway.

The only problem, of course, was that I did.