FicWad

Jim and I don’t talk, but we switch on our Ping Feeds, and communicate that way.

Running Transcripts...
Jim: sO...?
Dexter: So what?
Dexter: Fine. Thank you.
Jim: dId thAt hUrt?
Dexter: No. But you will.
Jim: AhAhAhA.
Dexter: I’m serious!
Jim: Oh. Sorry.
Dexter: Nah, I’m kidding. They’ll be pissed when they find us, huh?
Jim: I gUEss sO.
Jim: dO yOU thInk thEy’ll kIll Us?
Dexter: Nah. No way in hell, bro.

I think about Lindsey. God damn it, I miss that woman. Girls don’t come like that often. She’s entirely composed of curves and soft edges, ankle to legs to ass to flat plane of her stomach, tits to-

Jim: wEll thIs Is AwkwArd.
Dexter: AAHH OH MY GOD HOW MUCH OF THAT DID YOU HEAR?!?!
Jim: EnOUgh. ;)
Dexter: FML.

Jim sleeps. I sleep. Then we go over a bump in the road, and I curse like a sailor.
“There’s someone in the trunk!”
Jim kicks me. I’m pissed that I got us caught.
“No shit, Sherlock!” I shout back.
Jim kicks me harder.

The trunk’s popped open, and sunlight blinds me. You win this round, you stupid ball of heat.
“You!”
Gerard drags me out the trunk. “Me,” I respond.
“Me!” Frankenstein shouts.
Gerard glares at Frankenstein. Poor guy.
Gerard drops me to the ground, (I’ve been getting this a lot lately) and stalks back to the car, swearing under his breath.
“What’re you doing?” Jim asks, sitting up. “I’m gonna back over him. I’m tired of him following me!” Gerard spits. A guy in a yellow helmet snaps over, pulling the keys out of the ignition.
“Get some morals!”
“Gimme the keys!”
“NO!”
“MIKEY GIVE ME THE FUCKING KEYS! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS!”

I’m tired of all this. “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Gerard, really? Get your ass outta that car, shut your ungodly lopsided mouth, and actually think for once in your life!” I scream at him.
“Wow. They got your personality down to the insult,” Frankenstein says.
Gerard’s gone as red as his hair, and I feel accomplished. Just....he’s such a prick, and I have pissed him off. Victory is mine.

Jim looks shocked out of his mind, and all I can do is smile.
I look around. We’re stranded in the middle of the desert, stopped in the middle of the road.
“Uh....any of you know robotics?” Jim asks, staring at his shoes.
“I do, sort of,” Yellow helmet says, pulling off his helmet and showing that he needs a new nickname. He gets closer to me, and I lean away.
“Kobra, you honestly don’t know anything about robotics. Leave that kid alone.”
“Shut up, Frankie, I know more than you ever will.”
He sounds like....that guy I heard on the radio show once. Should I tell him?
Oh, why not, maybe throw in some appreciative squeals too.

Kobra fumbles in his pocket before pulling out a click knife. Y’know, one of those that are used to open boxes you get in the mail.
“Hey....what is that?”
Kobra smiles at me.
“Why so serious?”
Gerard and Frankie laugh, and I pull myself backwards.
“Please put that down.”
“Why so serious?”
“This isn’t funny, Kobra.”
“WHY SO SERIOUS? Okay, seriously, get back here, I need to see how bad the damage is.”

I stop squirming, and Kobra slices my leg open. “Oh, that’s gross!” Frankie squeals. “Shut up. Yeah, the wires are pretty fried, there’s nothing I can do,” Kobra says. My legs are a mass of burned out wires and melted metal. It shames me to see what I’m like on the inside, just metal. I guess I sort of believed that as long as I didn’t see what I was liked on the inside, I’d always be human.
What a load of crap.
This is turning out to be a bad day.

“Wait. I have an idea,” Frankie says, lifting up his mask. “Help us Lord, Frank has an idea...” Gerard says. Frank pouts, and then goes on like nothing happened.
“Let’s take them both to Toto.”
Kobra shakes his head. “No. It’s Wednesday. You know how that girl is on Wednesdays.”
“FIne. You take them.”
Kobra raises his eyebrows. “Toto hates my guts, I don’t think so.”
“She won’t hate you if you bring her two A.I.’s. Girl’s got a major robot fetish.”
I can’t believe this. “I don’t want to meet her. She sounds insane.”
Kobra puts an arm around my shoulders. “Four on two. We’re going.”

~*~

Jim and I are back in the trunk. Gerard said that if we can stay there for the ride over, we can stay there for the rest of the way. What a nice guy.
Drive drive drive. Jim chattering inanely while I stare at my legs. My metal legs.
The car eventually pulls to a stop, and Mikey pops the trunk.
“Out.”
Jim hops out, and pulls me out, wrapping my arm around his shoulder so he can help drag me. I don’t thank him.
Kobra leads us to a cave. Well, it was probably a subway stop at one point, but what looks like a vault door has been attached to the front of it. So it’s a cave.
“She lives....in there?” Jim asks, pointing with his free hand. Kobra smirks at him, and Jim bites his lip, probably out of worry.
Kobra strides to the door. “Toto! It’s me!”
There’s a heavy crash on the other side of the door. “SOD! OFF!”
Kobra swears softly. “Toto, please, I’ve got news,” he calls through the door. “IT’S A FREAKING WEDNESDAY! YOU NOW HOW-” crash- “I FEEL ON WEDNESDAYS!” Smash.
She sounds pleasant.
“I’ve got robots!”
There’s a silence, and then the door slowly creaks open.
I can see a sliver of her face, and she’d probably be pretty if she wasn’t such a wreck. Eye makeup has been smeared all over her face, and there’s a blue slash of lipstick across her lips. Her eyes are puffy and swollen from crying, and I can see some old blood on her forehead.
“Seriously?” Toto asks, eyeing Kobra suspiciously. Kobra just stands aside, letting nothing in between me and this crazed girl.
Toto wrenches open the door and strides toward me, and holy crap it is terrifying.
Toto’s blonde, and got her hair cut like she cut it in the dark with a knife, with her eyes closed. Yes, that is dried blood on her forehead, along with the lovely makeup I described earlier. She’s got blood on her shirt, and she’s wearing blue underwear. I guess I’m just not important enough for pants.

“They’re not metal! They’re human! Goddamn it, Mikes! THIS ISN’T FUNNY!” Toto whirls around, screaming. “They’re metal! I swear, I cut that one open!”
“I’M SO SURE! GODDAMN IT, WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL TO ME?”
Wow. Crazy bitch Toto is a crazy bitch. Go figure. “Calm down, I’m what you want!” Jim calls, and I burst out laughing. I never thought I’d see the day that Jim hits on a girl.
Jim blushes and then adds “Not in that way!”
Toto stops shouting, then bounds over, tackling Jim, and thus me to the ground.
“You look real,” Toto whispers, touching Jim’s face.
Jim blushes, mostly because he’s not used to having a girl tackle him while she’s not wearing pants.
“Hey, I’m here too,” I say. Toto hums an agreement. What? I’m hotter than Jim is, so why isn’t she looking at me?
“Dexter needs help....” Jim says softly. Toto tilts her head to the side. “I know you, James Nolan,” she whispers, and kisses him softly in between his eyes.