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Learn To Smile














Learn To Smile

(Naruto)

Sasuke x Naruto

Warning: Shounen ai



Disclaimer: I
don't own Naruto but I DO own this story and whatever happens in it!



Curse this weather. It was winter, meaning cold blustery
winds, freezing snow and no beach. This meant that Naruto wouldn't be hanging
out with Gaara for a while.



Naruto sighed as an extra large serving of miso ramen with
extra pork was placed before him for the fifth time in one session.



"Arigatou gozaimasu," Naruto thanked the man that served him
and began to slurp up his noodles slowly. Sasuke had just been dismissed from
the hospital and had been rather moody lately. Sakura had been down in the
dumps because 'her one and only true love' would chidori anyone who came near him. Of course, save for Naruto and Tsunade.
A lot had changed since Naruto had first played with Gaara.



One of the major changes was that Sandaime Hokage had passed
on in the defense of Konohagakure. Naruto had gone on a long and tiresome
search for the new hokage, Godaime Hokage a.k.a, Tsunade. He didn't even know
that they were searching for her to take up the position as the village's new
leader! He thought that this was for his benefit in training. But he had been
deceived and, upon forming a new bond with the new leader, Naruto had learnt to
trust her.



But it wasn't the same. Sandaime introduced him to Gaara
properly. Had it not been for him...perhaps during the wild goose chase, Gaara
and Naruto would have killed each other for sure.



Naruto stared down at the half-eaten bowl of ramen before
him before murmuring thank you softly once again and placing his money on the
countertop, standing up to leave.



"What's wrong, young lad?" the man behind the counter asked
the wary looking Naruto. Something was obviously wrong with him. For one, the usually
cheerful boy was not smiling. Even if he was given the free bowl of ramen, he
didn't smile. Second, he usually had eight bowls in his stomach in record time.
This time, he had only eaten four and a half in three hours. Three.



He had been moping around the Ichiraku stand for quite a
while now and the old man couldn't help but be concerned. After all, if anyone
saw a customer looking unsatisfied with his food, the business will decrease!
But then again, Naruto was the cheerful face that he KNEW would bring in a few
extra yen in the day for sure and had learned to take a mutual fondness of the
boy who had grown and earned a reputation over the years as Ichiraku's number
one customer.



"Nothing," Naruto muttered in reply before flashing him a
small smile and leaving. As soon as Naruto turned around, the smile vanished
off his youthful face as if it had never been there in the first place.



He walked slowly and aimlessly around Konoha, thoughts
milling around in his head. After chasing Gaara and Sasuke and successfully
catching up to them, Naruto was basically faced with a life-death situation.
Meetings with Gaara had been awkward since then and even now he still felt that
unmoving distrust towards the sand-nin.



"What happened was the past," Naruto grumbled to himself. He
could hardly blame the redhead for what had happened. He was only thirteen and
yet, at such a tender age, he had been forced to be used as Sunagakure's and
the Hidden Sound village's trump card. His father had sent someone to assassinate
him - his own uncle. His mother had died during his birth. People were
frightened of him and, as a child, had constantly been teased and called a
monster. Heck, even his own siblings were frightened. And his own father, the
Kazekage of Sunagakure, had been killed very recently.



It seemed as if Gaara didn't care but Naruto could see
through that. He comforted Gaara through his tough times yet he still felt that
the sand-nin was constantly pushing him away and assuring him that this was all
for his own good. Gaara followed his siblings back to their home in the hidden
village of the Sand and Naruto hasn't heard from him since. It was quite
depressing actually. But the problem at hand was that he was going to leave
with Jiraiya very soon and no one would know. No one was there to wish him
goodbye.



Konoha was in the process of recuperation and the feeble
ties between the Leaf and the Sand had been significantly weakened until it was
non-existent. Though, it seemed as though Naruto's friendship with the next Kazekage
in line would strengthen the links.



He desperately wanted to meet with Sasuke, Sakura and
Kakashi once again as Team 7 and celebrate his farewell. However, this seemed
far from likely. Nowadays, since the attack by Akatsuki, Sasuke has been silent
and moody. Kakashi had just been discharged from hospital as well and was
nowhere to be seen. This wasn't the case though, since the copy cat ninja was
barely seen around in the first place.



Sakura...well, Sakura has been hanging around Tsunade a lot,
especially trying to help Rock Lee make a stable and speedy recovery.



That left Naruto alone. All alone.



"God DAMNIT!" he hissed, roughing kicking a tiny stone out
of his way. He managed to kick up a whole lot of dust as well, causing
passersby to sneer as they walked on. He either ignored them or stuck out his
tongue. Either one served him well. Although, he did prefer the latter but
anyway...



"Naruto!"



The said blonde looked up and was met with the sight of his
'sensei'. No, not Hatake Kakashi as he was hoping, but rather his new one, the
Toad Hermit/Super Pervert/Ero-sannin/Old Man/Legendary Sannin, Jiraiya.



"Konnichiwa, Jiraiya-sensei."



That was so unlike the boy. He was expecting a 'HOOI!
ERO-SANNIN!'



In fact, he was waiting for Naruto to address him, not the
other way around. But anyway, what's done is done. Naruto's greeting had been
so short, so soft and so formal. His curtness seemed out of character and
almost...



Jiraiya shuddered.



Cold. He seemed like something that he saw in the youngest
Uchiha, Sasuke.



"I have an announcement to make," he stated, planting a
heavy hand on Naruto's shoulder as he steered him away from the centre of the
village.



"What is it?" Naruto grumbled as he led him towards a
familiar district.



"I have an appointment in Sunagakure."



Naruto stiffened.



"And I have to leave as soon as possible."



Jiraiya's ears were met with silence and he turned his head
to see the downcast eyes of his second student.



"Naruto?"



"So when do we leave?"



There was another awkward pause before Jiraiya answered,
rather uneasily.



"Well, you know how I am. Actually, the appointment is for
one week from now. Meaning that if we leave today, we'll reach there with a day
or to rest."



"So?"



Jiraiya took in a sharp breath and pushed his student in
front of him, almost shaking him angrily.



"Listen, Naruto. I need to leave Konoha as soon as possible.
Your goodbyes with your friends will have to be done today because I will not
be returning to the Leaf for a quite a while."



"So I say goodbye today?"



"...yes."



Emotionless blue eyes met his for a moment before a small
smile cracked onto Naruto's tightly sealed lips.



"Okay."



Leaving. He would be leaving! He would be going to see Gaara
again! He shuddered as the cold wind nipped at his bare neck, causing the skin
to turn a raw red. He shrugged deeper into his bright, neon orange jumpsuit and
drew the zipper up all the way.



He was confronted by his friends - Kiba, Hinata, Chouji,
Ino, Tenten, Shikamaru, Shino, and Neji. All at separate times, yes, but still
the reactions were pretty much the same. The names were listed in order of the
most violent reaction to the calmest. Not surprisingly, Kiba was the one who
appeared to take it the worst, whereas, Neji, although he seemed disappointed,
took the news better than anyone else. What did surprise him was that Hinata
began to cry and took off running until he chased after her and gave her a
goodbye hug and a kiss on the cheek, which caused the Hyuuga heiress to turn
bright red.



He visited Rock Lee at the hospital personally and, whilst
there, the two shared a tender moment with tears and hugs of farewell.



"Let the youth be with you, Naruto-kun!" the green clad boy
stated firmly, saluting Naruto who merely smiled weakly in response. Tsunade
was there giving Lee his daily examination and when Naruto presented the news
to her, her lips went tight and her fists clenched.



"So Jiraiya is taking you away, is he?" she snorted, glaring
down at Naruto. Said boy gulped and nodded, expecting her to hit him or
something. What she did next, however, surprised him.



He was smothered in a bone-crushing hug, face buried into
her large cleavage as she kissed the top of the blonde's head.



"Goodbye, genki. Stay safe and outta trouble, got that?"



"Yea, baa-san. I will."



He left her with a grin and on the way to exit the hospital,
he was met with Sakura. Sakura had been taken under Tsunade's wing as her
student/apprentice, so it wasn't a surprise to see the future medic-nin
standing before him.



His crush on Sakura wore down slightly after Sasuke's
recovery but it was still there, nevertheless.



"Sakura-chan," he greeted her, unable to stop the pounding
in his heart. He couldn't help what he liked. Whether it be Sakura, Sasuke or
Gaara, the kitsune liked them all!



"I heard from Ino that you'll be leaving soon. Is that
correct?" Sakura asked him, raising an eyebrow at her former teammate. Naruto
nodded numbly, wondering when the conversation would end so that he could go
see-



His cheek stung. Hard. Painfully. The buzzing was ringing in
his ears.



His sapphire eyes lifted to meet teary emerald ones and a
face scrunched up with so much pain.



"How could you?"



"W-what?" Naruto managed to croak out as the two ignored the
onlookers around them.



Sakura shook her head, the teardrops splattering against
Naruto's cheek.



"How could you leave? That is as bad as betraying Konoha.
You can't leave while we're still healing, Naruto! We need you! Everyone, me,
Ino, Hinata, /Sasuke/! For missions and
jobs and-"



"Sakura."



Naruto interrupted her softly in order to stop the ranting
girl. Sakura sniffled and met his eyes again. Naruto looked away, his whiskered
cheeks drooping slightly.



"Gomen ne, Sakura-chan. Sayonara."



He was gone. Just like that. Sakura's eyes welled up with
tears once again and she collapsed in a messy heap on the cold, tiled floor of
the hospital. There was no one to comfort her now. No one to share her pain,
but only to give the girl pity.



Naruto mentally checked everyone off in his head. So far,
his friends, Sakura, the hokage...well, he said goodbye to the Ichiraku owners
but that didn't really count. Really. Sighing, he headed back, wished them
goodbye and good luck for future business and left nibbling on a slice of
fishcake.



Ichiraku - done.



Of course! Naruto slapped himself mentally and headed off to
the Ninja Academy. His legs were aching from all
the running around and the cold weather wasn't helping much either. He walked
through the familiar halls and stopped just outside Iruka's classroom. His
hands touched the sliding door hesitantly before he drew back, took in a deep
breath and knocked on the door. After a few seconds of waiting, the door slid
open and Naruto was face to face with his scar-nosed guardian.



"Iruka-sensei."



"N-Naruto? What are you doing here?" he asked, sending a
nervous look into the classroom before shutting the door behind him. Naruto
took a step forward before lunging at his ex-teacher and wrapping his arms
tightly around his waist.



"Goodbye, Iruka-sensei."



Iruka looked just as shocked as the rest of them. Naruto
was...leaving?



"Nani?" his voice was soft against the spikes of Naruto's
hair. Tears brimmed in the cerulean blue eyes of his former student.



"I'm leaving with Jiraiya-sensei...and I don't think I'll be
coming back."



"...what?"



"Well, I won't be coming back for a while," Naruto added
quickly upon seeing the look of utter despair on Iruka's face. Naruto sniffled
slightly and rubbed his eyes as he stepped away from Iruka, who began to smooth
out his chuunin vest.



"When do you leave?"



"Soon. Maybe at dusk."



Iruka flinched.



"Or maybe at dawn."



The expression didn't change. Naruto sighed, thinking of a
way to lighten the situation.


"Hey, well at least you won't have to waste any money on treating me to ramen,
ne, Iruka-sensei?" he laughed softly, making a weak attempt at a joke. It
didn't help the matter any further and Naruto was shocked to find the usually
calm man bawling like a young child.



"Na-Naruto, the p-point of treating y-you was in
con-congratulations for-for your hard work," Iruka reprimanded him sloppily,
tears and heart wrenching sobs made it hard to understand what the man was
saying.



It hurts.



Naruto looked down at the man who was now on his knees,
embracing him from his stomach.



"You're very special to me, Naruto. You're my son! The son
that I never could have!" Iruka sobbed, burying his face into Naruto's jacket.
Naruto's knees buckled and he slid down to Iruka's level, wrapping his arms
around his sensei's shoulders again.



"Gomen ne..."



"What's going on here?" came an annoyed sounding voice after
the classroom door slid open. Konohamaru stepped out, followed by Udon and
Moegi, his two best friends. "Naruto-nii-chan?"



"Ohayo, Konohamaru," Naruto greeted him feebly, his jacket
forming wet patches all over as he held on tightly to Iruka. Konohamaru took in
the scene before him before questioning them.



"I'm...I'm leaving."



The words echoed inside the heads of the three youngsters
before they began to cry as well, surrounding their sensei and their 'big
brother.'



"You'll come back, ne, nii-chan?" Konohamaru sobbed, tears
and snot mingling together on his young face. Naruto only heaved his shoulders
lightly.



"I don't know. Maybe."



"Are you sure this is wise Naruto? You may never see us
again," Iruka reminded him after his tears cleared up a bit. Naruto nodded
firmly and a fresh wave of tears was released from his ex-teacher.



"Gomen ne..."



It hurts. It hurts!



Naruto's heart thudded harder in his chest as he finally
said goodbye to his sensei one last time before he hugged them all and finally
left the school, bravely wiping away the trails of tears on his face.



The village won't miss me. Naruto almost laughed at that.
That was what they wanted...



Right?



They would all benefit. The village would finally be rid of
the demon and he would finally become stronger. This is good.



"This is selfish."



Naruto's head shot up and he was met with his other former
sensei, Hatake Kakashi. The silver haired jounin snapped his book shut sharply
and pocketed it.



"Ano..."



Kakashi came within a much closer radius and peered down at
Naruto.



"Do you really want to leave?"



It hurts.



There was a moment of silence once again. And then Naruto
nodded.



"Yes."



"Do you realize what you're leaving behind?"



It hurts!



"Konoha."



"That's not what I meant, Naruto," Kakashi stated almost
icily as his hands clapped over Naruto's shoulders. "You know what I'm talking
about."



"Konoha," he said again, more firmly, more confident this
time. "Konoha and everything in it."



Kakashi nodded and then began to laugh.



"I fail to see what's so funny...when I'm going to leave,"
Naruto finally muttered out dryly. Kakashi snorted again and began to push
Naruto in the direction of the boy's house.



"What're you doing?" Naruto practically screeched as Kakashi
pushed him further down the street, leading to the old apartment blocks. It was
stable but poorly decorated. There were large cracks in the wall, running from
the floor to the very top of the roof. There were holes and a few broken
windows.



"You have a visitor."



"A visitor?" Naruto sniggered. "What person in their right
mind would visit me?"



"I would."



Naruto froze. There, standing in his doorway, was none other
than his best friend and rival, Uchiha Sasuke.



"You'll be leaving a valuable friend behind, Naruto,"
Kakashi whispered before wrapping his arms around the younger boy. His student.
Like Iruka, Naruto was nearly...nearly...a son.



It hurts! It hurts!
It's too painful!



"A special friendship."



"Sayonara, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto choked as he hugged Kakashi
one last time before the latter disappeared in a poof of chakra smoke. Naruto
turned to find his best friend tapping his foot expectantly on the concrete
floor.



"C-come in, Sasuke."



He didn't add 'teme' to suffix the boy's name. Sasuke
frowned. It hurt him just as much. He missed the dobe calling him that.



They sat down on Naruto's couch wordlessly and Naruto
shuffled slightly.



"I...um...forgot to pack," he stated, blushing slightly. Sasuke
nodded and stood up as he followed Naruto to his room. Their friendship was
like that. Sasuke could understand the simple-minded yet stubborn Naruto and
Naruto could practically write a book about the mysterious and complex
character of Sasuke. No scratch that! He could write a novel!



He pulled out his traveling backpack and opened the lip
wide. Sasuke helped him pick out the clothes that he would wear and grimaced
when he realized that the dobe's clothes were all the same.



Naruto's eyes began to water. As much as he hated to do so,
he found that little trickles of water began to leak from his eyes. He didn't
want to cry in front of Sasuke either.



"Dobe?"



"What, teme?"



There was a pause of awkward silence before Naruto gasped,
feeling slender, alabaster coloured arms wrap around his torso from behind.

"Why do you have to go?"



There was a hint of pleading desperation in Sasuke's tone.
Why was he going? Naruto had almost forgotten. He would see Gaara again and
that made him happy. He would finally leave the hatred in the confinement of
Konoha's borders and be a free, roaming ninja.



Sasuke was slightly taller than Naruto and he rested his
head onto the younger boy's shoulder.



"Why are you leaving, dobe?"



...it...hurts...



It really does hurt. Naruto felt the panging and swelling of
his heart as he felt wet droplets of tears on his neck. This can't be
happening! It was a miracle! The cold hearted Sasuke was...



"You're crying?" Naruto's voice shook with disbelief.



"Shut up. I haven't cried in six years so be quiet and let
me be," Sasuke snapped with annoyance as he buried his nose into the dip of
Naruto's neck.



There was more silence that stretched between them and
Naruto's hands ceased movement. He couldn't even reach the bed anyway since
Sasuke was holding him so tightly. His heart thumped hard again within his
chest and felt a pang of guilt shoot through him. The pang hit something within
him, causing waves of sorrow and guilt to wash over the blonde.



"Why are you leaving /me/?"



The question practically killed him. They were only so
young, one thirteen and one nearly that age. Yet the pain that coursed through
their bodies was like that of two long time lovers that would soon be
separated. They were a Romeo and Juliet in their own right. Sasuke's hands
seemed to burn on Naruto's stomach. His hand subconsciously traced the slender,
pale fingers of Sasuke's hands as he leaned back against his rival.



"Nande? Nande, nande, nande? I'll always ask you why,
Naruto...why are you leaving me?" Sasuke's voice began to crack - cracking and
crumbling like Naruto's heart.



It hurts! It hurts! It
hurts! It hurts!



Naruto closed his eyes, the eyelids fluttering to a close as
he basked in Sasuke's scent. It wasn't anything that he could describe. He
would be leaving this. The hold, the strength, the friendship. He would be
walking out of Konoha with only a teacher and nothing more but determination to
become the best. But with that comes the loss of many friends, especially the
friendship that most likely meant to most to him.



Even his friendship with Gaara...could not...could not surpass
the love Sasuke and Naruto shared for each other. Perhaps...



"I will become the strongest, just like you Sasuke."



"Then stay here. With me, Naruto. God damn it! Just stay!"



The grip around his waist tightened and Sasuke held him
closer. Losing balance, Naruto stumbled and he fell atop the pile of clothes on
his bed, Sasuke laying still above him.



Neither male moved and Naruto knew. Knew the desperation
that Sasuke was keeping within him. He didn't want Naruto to leave. He knew
that Naruto wanted power so why couldn't he stay?



"I can't become stronger alone here, Sasuke," Naruto
murmured finally, pushing away the bag that lay beneath them. "You and I grow
differently. I don't know what will happen to you but..."



"Stay. Please. Please stay with me."



The desperation. The pleading. The hurt. The pain.



The friendship that he was leaving behind. Naruto didn't
smile as he managed to push Sasuke away from him.



He apologized once again that day. He had done that so many
times that day that he had already lost count.



"Sas-Sasuke, I can't. I've already made up my mind and
nothing can change that."



Sasuke looked downtrodden as they sat beside each other on
Naruto's bed.



"Not even...this?" Sasuke murmured softly, his right hand
caressing Naruto's jaw as he pulled the blonde in for a kiss. Lips met lips
like hands in prayer, mashing against each other. Sasuke held onto Naruto for
dear life and Naruto felt his own arms go around the slimmer boy's waist. He
broke away after a moment and shook his head. He was in absolute heaven but
still...



"I'm sorry, Sasuke."



Sasuke's fists curled up into tight balls, his fingernails
digging heavy crescents into his maimed skin.



"Don't do this to me, Naruto!"



"I'm sorry."



"Don't you DARE apologize! I just want you to stay with me!"



"I-"



"Don't say sorry!" Sasuke yelped, lunging onto Naruto again
as he tackled the other boy down until he lay on his back.



"You must really like to pin me down, don't you Sasuke?"
Naruto murmured quietly, his mind in deep thought. "If you keep pinning me down
forever, I'll never be able to reach the top."



"What...what are you saying?"



"I'll have to go, Sasuke. Don't pin me down any longer.
Don't put me down, don't disagree."



"No..."



"Just please! Sasuke, for once, agree with me. Tell me that
I can go. Promise me you'll stick by my decision, Sasuke! Don't hold me back
just let me go."



His words seemed to be overly poetic - quite amusing to hear
such words spilling forth from Naruto's mouth. Sasuke didn't notice. His heart
was beating so hard that he couldn't hear anything in his ears.



"Promise me you'll wait for me."



The silence seemed to stretch on for eternity as Sasuke's
obsidian eyes met Naruto's azure ones. His face drew closer to Naruto's again,
raven bangs brushing against Naruto's whiskered cheeks. Soft lips ghosted over
Naruto's lips, barely brushing against each other. And then the intimacy was
gone.



It hurts.



"Sayonara."



There was finality in Sasuke's tone. He finally learned to
let go. There was a frown on his face, however, and Naruto was not pleased.



"Sasuke, smile for me."



"No."



"Please?"



"I said no."



"I don't like it when you're frowning..."



"I don't like it when you're leaving."



Naruto sighed and was torn between wanting to hug the Uchiha
and leaving him alone. The pain was already too much to bear for the both of
them and it wouldn't help the matter anymore if Naruto did so.



"I'll be coming back."



"No you won't."



Sasuke's voice cracked as he pulled his knees closer to his
chest, facing away from Naruto so as to hide the twin trail of tears that ran
down his pale, smooth face.



Then Naruto began to laugh. Sasuke, in his annoyance, turned
back to see Naruto howling and hooting with laughter.



"What the hell is so funny?" Sasuke snapped angrily, furious
that the blonde would laugh at a time like this. Much less, laugh at /him/!



"I told you that I'll be coming back."



"You won't."



"Keep telling yourself that, Sasuke. I can't believe how
much of a baka you're being!" Naruto snorted as he turned back to his friend,
wiping away the tears of laughter in his eyes.



"What?" Sasuke shouted in fury. He was wallowing in sorrow
and the cause of his sadness was INSULTING HIM?



"Sasuke. Just smile."



"Why?"



"Because I'll be back. No matter what, I'll always return.
After all, how else will I become the next Hokage if I'm not in Konoha?"



There was a pause before a wide smile spread over Sasuke's
face. And for once, it wasn't a smirk, or a sneer, or a jeer. It was a true
smile.



"Congratulations, teme. You've just learnt how to smile."



Owari!

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