Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > You Were Mine

1- Sure Things Falling

by kaydom

Madison makes a mistake. Will it follow her forever?

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: NC-17 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2011-10-12 - Updated: 2012-11-14 - 2446 words
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Madison rolled over and groaned, she had post sleep party hair all over the place and she roughly pushed it out of her face so that she could breath. Breathing was good. She was very much pro-breathing now that she thought of it.

As Madison debated this in her head she finally got herself to sit up which she soon found wasn't the greatest idea. She had to rush to the bathroom to keep from puking all over her bedroom floor, which wouldn't have been fun at all to clean up so she was grateful for toilets at that time. "Why do you do this to yourself?" Madison muttered, staring in to the mirror. Her eyes had rings around them from lack of sleep that made her look slightly racoon-like. It wasn't the best look for a girl in highschool. For the last two months she'd been doing nothing but partying.

Proving herself wrong about being a good girl? Maybe.

As Madison shoveled water from the sink in to her bitter tasting mouth she reminisced about the last few months and what started it all. "Fuck you." She whispered, falling on to her bed after drenching her face and mostly wiping that lovely taste from her mouth.

She'd always been the bad girl of the school. She didn't even know how that started. Mostly because in freshman year she'd gotten so nervous that she'd ended up spouting to the wrong person in the worst way. She thought she would never make friends. She was worried that no one would talk to her, that they would think she dressed strangely. She was worried she'd fail her first class and never understand her second.

She was worried that she'd make a fool out of herself.... And well most of that did happen. She didn't have any friends. She failed english... which still baffled her. Didn't they give credit for speaking it? Evidently not enough... She still didn't understand spanish or speak a word of it past Hola! And she'd definitely made a fool of herself whilst crossing a popular girl a grade ahead of herself. She hadn't even meant to and now it didn't even matter but it had certainly mattered then when it made her the school outcast and helped prove all of her then nightmares true.

Then came her time as a junior in which she went about trying to prove herself not 'the bad girl'. She didn't like that title. She didn't want to graduate with all the rumors. People talked about her frequent nights out with many guys. Sadly the rumors had no base at all. There were no guys, no parties. It wasn't fair. After failing miserably at trying to fit in(which didn't take long at all) Madison found herself exhausted and decided... If people were going to say those things about her... Why not let it be true?

She didn't want to take the fall with none of the fun. So two months ago she'd overheard someone talking about a party and gone. It was loud and people were everywhere. She'd pulled on her tightest pair of black jeans as well as a flowy top and pushed her way through the crowd, letting herself be seen by absolutely everyone.

She'd already turned down atleast five offers of alcohol. Drinks were everywhere yet she'd heard horror stories and didn't want her virginity gone in a drunken blur.She hadn't really planned on letting her virginity go in any way that night. It just happened..... She'd let her body sway slightly as she listened to the music. She'd let her eyes fall closed as she listened harder to the words and pretended she was alone in her room, dancing for her own purposes. She pretended she wasn't just trying to make the rumor of who she was come true. She didn't want to admit to being that type of person but it seemed that was who she had turned in to.

"You're the prettiest girl in this room." A voice said loudly over the music. Madison remembered blinking in surprise as her eyes changed to the lighted room from the dark of the back of her eyelids.

"Jon?" She'd whispered, not realizing at that moment that because of the music being so loud he couldn't hear her. Jon was a decent person. He was a year ahead of her and had this band type thing going with his friends. He was the guy lots of girls wanted but she considered him; and everyone else; out of her league. They had talked every now and then in the hallways and he had always been very kind. She had never actually seen him be rude to anyone. Unlike one of his bandmate friends... Brendon Urie. Even now she found herself cringing at his name. He was always so mean to her. She didn't know why. He had heard all the rumors and he didn't pause before repeating them back to her with malice, calling her names and torturing her mentally through high school.

Jon smiled at her that night and she couldn't find a single sign of nervousness as he asked her if she wanted to go somewhere quiet.... Of course she wanted to.

She wished she could say that night was a blur or blame alcohol. Maybe blame some weird drug but she couldn't. That night she lost her virginity to a classmate she barely knew. She wasn't under the influence of anything other than wanting to fit in. She lost something important that night in a dark bedroom on a bed that wasn't anywhere near comfortable. It was hot and smelled like wet dog. Not exactly romantic. And instead of staying the night cuddling they had both gone their respective ways about ten minutes after it was done.

Every night since that night Madison had been out partying hard. She hadn't slept with anyone else but the rumors swirled around dangerously. She showed up to classes drunk and she showered every few days, letting the stench of alcohol stick. She'd gotten a few hours of sleep every night, only the bare min. though. She didn't let herself stop and think of what had happened. Sleeping with Jon had made her hate herself with a passion. Her and her parents were fighting more than ever. But now they had reason. Madison wished everything would just stop but she'd brought this on herself and she refused to seek help.

So now sitting in bed with a pounding headache, smelling of booze and having make up smeared all over her face Madison still didnt think past what had happened. She didn't want to feel. Her feelings were worse than the rumors kids at her school were spreading. It wasn't fair to have a conscience. She didn't want it. But she had it. And now she'd have to live with what she'd done. She was sick of partying. She never felt good. She always felt hungover.

As these thoughts crossed her mind she heard her cell phone vibrate from her bedside and looking down she saw an unknown number flash across her screen but she knew who it was. Just because she didn't save his number didn't mean she didn't remember it. It was Jon. He had been texting her since that night and calling but she hadn't returned any texts nor had she answered his calls. She didn't even know how he got her number. Time to face the music though. "Hello?" She said, voice breaking slightly from being so dry.

"You haven't been answering my calls." Jon stated, sounding tired.

"I am now." Madison said back, with attitude. She didn't know why but she found herself hating Jon. He didn't do anything wrong and she knew that... Yet she couldn't stop herself from feeling that way.

"Can I come over?" Jon asked.

Madison paused. Her parents were gone for the weekend... "Do you know where I live?" From there she ended up giving him her address and then hanging up with a huge sigh.

"What does he want?" Madison muttered. Despite wanting to hide from the world Madison had to deal with him. She wouldn't hide from him anymore. She did have 30 minutes however so she figured she might as well make herself not smell like alcohol. With that thought she went to her bathroom and started the shower so that she could let the water get warm.

It almost took Madison the full thirty minutes to scrub herself clean but she finally forced herself out so that Jon wouldn't find himself standing on the porch all night. It took all of her willpower though. She quickly went through her drawer and pulled out some shorts and a tank top along with some underclothing. From there she was dressed in about 5 seconds, not leaving any time left she found as she heard a knock gradually growing louder from downstairs.

Madison sprinted down the stairs, throwing it open to see Jon standing in front of her. She now realized that he towered over her. His hands were also now shoved in his pockets. His hair was messed up and he had the most adorable sleepy look going on with him. Madison's hands shook slightly as she realized just how nervous she was. "Come in." She said, quietly and then she turned and walked up the stairs to her bedroom. She heard the door close softly and then Jon finally spoke. "Are your parents okay with me being in your room?"

"Probably not but they aren't here and won't be until monday." Madison said, it was only friday. She'd had her party in swing m-s but stopped early when she passed out last night after getting pretty crazy at some club. She didn't even remember who had dropped her off. Wow she felt stupid.

"You shouldn't be here alone." Jon said, sounding slightly worried.

"Well it's a good thing you're here then." Madison said sarcastically. "Now ground me Dad." She said, attitude becoming even firmer as she turned at the top of the stairs and stared at Jon. "Tell me how foolish I've been. Tell me I'm ruining my life... But wait. Oh gosh Dad you're a little late.... Listen to all my classmates, this is how I've been since freshman year." Madison said, rolling her eyes.

She knew Jon was most likely at her house to lecture her. They'd been running in to each other at parties but she had fully ignored him... Since their night together.

Jon looked down. "I didn't come here to treat you like a kid.... But if you want to act like one..." He said, sounding slightly angry.

"Then leave. By all means..." Madison said, crossing her arms and continuing to her bedroom.

"Madison, I saw you at that party last night." Jon said, voice firm.

"And?" Madison asked, not facing him.

"I know you're not the girl people say you are... Well you weren't... Maybe now it's a little more spot on but I was surprised to see you at that party that night!" Jon said, explaining himself more. "I know you're just an innocent little girl, you always have been... So I don't know why you're doing this to yourself... Or atleast I hope you're still innocent-ish... I'm hoping you haven't slept around at each party." He ranted slightly.

"Are you fishing around trying to see if I've slept with guys since you?" Madison asked, whirling around. "Maybe I have! Who cares? It's not like you committed to me that night... I don't remember any proposal of dating.. As I recall you booked it fairly quickly... after... after..." Madison simply trailed off.

"Have you?" Jon asked, body stiffening a little.

"Does it matter?' Madison asked, staring at Jon. She took in every single movement he made as well as every type of facial feature portrayed on his face in that moment.

Silence filled her room and neither of them made a move.

"Tell me it matters and I'll tell you the truth." Madison whispered, eyes filling with tears.

"It doesn't." Jon said, mentally cursing himself. But he couldn't bring himself to tell Madison it mattered. He felt like a fool that it did.

Madison held up her end. "Many times with many men." She said, voice fading lightly but Jon heard every word.

Somehow it didn't click in Jon's head that Madison was lying, he just hadn't paid enough attention so every word hit every nerve in his body and he found himself so very angry at this little girl standing in front of him pretending to be all grown up.

"Well that's all I needed to know." Jon muttered.

"Why?" Madison asked, voice breaking again. She really needed some water.

"I didn't want to believe the others but it does seem I need to be tested." That hurt coming from Madison's first.

"Do what you need to do." Madison stated, bravely.

"What will I find?" Jon prodded.

"Nothing from me, I assure you." Madison said coldly. "It didn't take long enough for anything to transfer anyway, I'm sure." She said, out of spite.

Jon, in anger, felt his arm move and before he could even think of stopping himself or realize what was going on he had backhanded Madison. He watched with regret as she fell backwards to her bedroom floor, her head hit her bed and she scooted away from Jon as she realized what he'd done. Raising her hand to her face she gently rubbed, moaning in pain since it was now sore there. He wasn't by any means weak.

All of Jon's anger immediately left his body as he got on his knees next to Madison on the ground. "Holy shit.. I'm sorry Madison... I have a... a..." He trailed off as he looked in to her eyes.

"An anger problem?" Madison asked, softly. "Yeah. I got that." And she pushed his hand away as he tried to touch her face to inspect the damage.

"Get out Jon." Madison said, pulling herself off the ground by holding on to her bed. She was exhausted and angry at being hit. She refused to be one of those lay down and take it girls. He needed to get out.

"I don't want you here alone tonight." Jon said softly.

"Believe me, I'm not expecting any other assault happy highschooler's to drop by so I think I'll be fine as soon as you leave." Madison said, rudely.

Jon didn't even respond. He simply walked out of Madison's room. She immediately collapsed against her bed and sobbed.





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--R/R appreciated, thanks to anyone who reads this story.--
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