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Everybody Needs Somebody



“Mikey-wikey, I fuckin’ love you bro, you’re like… my motherfucking brother, dude!” Gerard’s drunken voice slurred to me as I stroked his back, helping him empty his stomach after a night in with the company of a fair few beers. Again. That was the fourth time this week I had been in that awful position, with my big brother half-heartedly trying to make it up to me by at least making it look like he cares about me.

Of course he fucking doesn’t. He wouldn’t do this to me if he did.

Okay, maybe that was a little harsh, but still! Sure, we’re brothers and I’d take a bullet for him (and I’d like to think he’d do the same for me, but he’d probably be too out of it to notice until I was six-feet under), but I needed him to be there for me like I was for him. He used to be and perhaps that is why I suddenly found myself resenting his selfish ways; he used to draw me pictures, look out for me at school, ask how I was doing, make me smile whenever I looked even remotely sad. Now he’s too busy drinking or sleeping off hangovers to draw; he hardly ever comes to school anymore; he doesn’t even ask where my black eyes or various other bruises come from and now he’s too off of his own stupid fucking face to realise that seeing him like this is killing me inside. Hell, he didn’t even notice the tears that drip down my face and sobs that wrack my body every time he comes home like this or when I come in with a bloody nose, my face blotchy from crying.

My parents don’t even notice my numerous issues, nobody does. They’re all too busy noticing Gerard’s undeniable downward spiral that can no longer be put down to him “just being a teenage boy” or being in “one of those phases”. Not that I minded. As a general rule I hate attention, but with my brother it was different. Perhaps it was because he had always made it better before anyone else needed to know, or maybe because he was the only who had given me attention in the first place; either way, I missed my brother. No, I didn’t miss him; I needed him. I needed him to protect me from the bullies, to listen to my secrets; I just needed him to be my god-damned brother, not some fucking alcoholic that can’t even stop himself from drowning in a pool of his own vomit.

He slowly stood from the toilet, managing to wipe away a trickle of vomit after his third attempt. I stayed on the hard tiles of the bathroom floor, knowing that I’d have to clean up from all of the times he missed the loo. I didn’t even mind cleaning up his own puke every once in a while, it was the fact it happened nearly every night and that we barely knew each other anymore that destroyed me.

“How’d you feel, Gee?” I asked softly, not realising the lump in my throat had decided to explode into my vocal chords until I saw him give me a confused frown that made him look like a five year old wondering why he couldn’t have a new toy car.

“Are you sad?” He mumbled in a voice akin to his facial expression.

My heart skipped a beat in anticipation. Maybe tonight we could go back to how we used to be; maybe tonight he would notice me. I waited for the brotherly arms to envelope like me like they once would have at seeing me cry like I was then, I waited for the soothing voice to ask me what was wrong and then for him to stay with me until I was truly happy again.

Not that any of that could ever actually happen. I loved him too much to drag him down even further with my problems. I wish to be many things, but to be like my brother and bring people down is not one of them.

So I fiercely wiped at my eyes with back of my hand, not caring that the action did nothing to stop my tears, and forced a smile. A fake smile that I hoped with all of my broken heart that Gee would see through and endeavour to make a real one.

“Good boy. You can’t be sad. You’re my Mikey!” He sung happily, as though it were common knowledge that it was physically impossible for me to be sad. Ha-fucking-ha. “Night-night!” He called as he stumbled out of the bathroom and to his room.

My false smile instantly fell from my face like a deadweight and I completely bawled my eyes out. I couldn’t take it anymore! The kids at school not caring, I could deal with that. Teachers too, they just annoyed me anyway. My own parents not paying my pain any sort of attention? That stung at first, but I could cope. But Gee, my own big brother, my protector, my best friend? No. That was just too much. Even the loneliest of souls needs someone to care, someone to hold them, to make everything alright again. Apart from me. Because I can’t be sad; I’m Mikey. Well, I really rather wouldn’t be. If God wanted to make up for all of the shit he’s thrown at me, anytime soon would be nice.

My head snapped up when I heard a soft tapping noise on the bathroom window, like a handful of gravel had been flung at the frosted glass. It was probably just some New Jersey junkie, not much worse than my brother, looking for their house.

Before I could carry on with my mental breakdown that had been bubbling below the surface for months, possibly even years, a large rock smashed through the window and narrowly missed my head, instead landing in some of Gerard’s vomit; causing it to splash onto my favourite pair of black skinny jeans. Apparently God wasn’t feeling remorseful.

Scared that the next thing to be thrown through the, now broken, window would be a petrol bomb or something of the like, I sprung to my legs and walked to the window, fully ready to attempt to ward off the bastard that had disturbed my crying fit. I stuck my head out of the window to see a rather familiar face smiling sheepishly up at me.

Frank Iero.

“Oops?” He giggled nervously, as though he thought I was capable of having a go at him. As if I would. He was the hottest guy in school, for fuck’s sake! Fair enough, if I wasn’t bi and didn’t have a huge crush on him, then I probably would be yelling at him. But why was he here, outside my house at ten o’clock at night when we’d hardly ever spoken to each other?

“Frank? What are you doing here?” I called down to him, my confusion cloaking the excitement I was feeling at seeing him on the pavement outside my house. My house!

“Pissed off some guys, can I hide in your house for a bit?” He begged urgently, his eyes darting around in search of any danger to his beautiful face.

My parents wouldn’t be back until the early hours of the morning, Gee was out for the count and I had a huge crush on him; as if I could say no! I quickly nodded, starting to think that maybe God was feeling merciful after all, and sprinted down the steps three at a time. I almost tore the door from it’s rusty hinges in my eagerness to let him in.

“Hey.” He grinned coolly as he strutted through the door, looking even better than he did at school, his lip ring gleaming in the moonlight and his silky black hair flopping over his beautiful eyes. “Thanks man, I owe you one.”

“It’s cool, don’t worry about it. Want something to drink or whatever?” I stuttered shyly, not used to people giving me this much attention. Normally people would stop at “hey” upon seeing my brother and a) falling in love with him due to his trademark good looks or b) laughing/panicking over his antics.

“I’m good thanks, Gerard.” He smiled back, shutting the door securely behind him.

Oh no. He thinks I’m Gee. I better break it to him that he’s talking to the neighbourhood’s biggest loser. See how much attention he pays me then.

“I’m Mikey. Mikey Way, I’m not fucking Gerard and I hope to God that I never will be!” I exploded at him, all of my hurt burning him instead of the people who had actually inflicted it upon me. Upon fully realising what I had done and who to my legs gave out, causing me to collapse to the ground in an ugly heap of tears. I waited for the laughter, for punches to put me back in my place for speaking to him like that, the snide insults or, if he was being nice, the sound of retreating footsteps and the slam of my front door.

To my surprise none of that happened.

He sat down next to me on the red carpet of the hallway and place a calming arm around my shoulder, much like Gee would have done not so long ago, yet long enough for the memory to have faded along with the hope that it would ever happen again. To my complete shock, I found the courage within me to lean into his embrace, burying my tear-stained face in his t-shirt. I felt his strong, long-fingered hands rub soothing circles onto my convulsing back.

“I’m s-sorry,” I sobbed pathetically once I finally had some form of control over my ragged breathing and unstoppable tears. I looked up with ashamed eyes to see his face looking at me with grave concern in his gorgeous eyes.

No, that can’t be right. Why would a useless loser like me be a cause for concern for a popular, awesome guy like Frank? Especially when my own brother wouldn’t have enough sense on him to even notice if I was on fire, let alone be concerned about it.

“Don’t be, Mikey. It’s okay. What happened, did you guys have a fight or something?” His soft voice asked, melting my heart with it’s warmness. I just shook my head. “Tell me, I won’t judge you. Fuck, you let me hide in your house without question, so why would I judge you of you didn’t me?”

“It’s not important, I’m not important…” My voice trailed off, fragmenting into more pitifully stupid sobs letting all of my pent up emotions flood out to the first person who seemed to be remotely interested in how I felt in months.

“Don’t say that. You are important. You’re just as important as me or Gerard or even the fucking President!” He paused letting his ridiculous statement linger. I could never be as important as Gee, he was able to tear this family apart with his antics when I couldn’t even pull it back together no matter what I did. I would never be as important as Frank, no one would ever fancy me or hang around with me like so many people did him.

“Leave me alone!” I yelled childishly after coming to the conclusion that he was making fun of me, just like the last hundred or so people who had pretended to be nice to me just to beat me up minutes later. I didn’t want to believe that Frank was like that, but what choice did I have? Why should he be genuinely nice to me after all I had done was cry and shout at him?

“Whilst you’re crying like this? No fucking way, man. What sort of friend would I be if I did that?” He smiled down at me as he pulled my face into his heavenly chest once more.

Hang up a second. Friend?! He had to be kidding, right?

“I’ve seen you at school, you know.” He sighed when he realised I wasn’t going to respond. I was far too lost and confused to. “The way people treat you is fucking outrageous. From what I know of you, you’re a perfectly nice guy and there’s no excuse for the way they treat you. And I’m sorry.” This time a sincere trickled down his pale face, dropping into my cocktail of perplexity and strengthening it sevenfold.

“Why?” I whispered intently, daring to wipe away his crystalline tear with my cautious thumb. The last thing I wanted was to make him cry, no-one should cry over a freak like me. Not even my brother.

“I should have helped you all of those times I saw them hurting you, all of those times I could have done something but didn’t. I’m so sorry, Mikey Way, so sorry.” My eyes misted with amazement, out of the many people who had seen me get beaten up Frank was the one to apologize. Sure it was person out of many, but that one apology made up for everything. It made me feel like someone instead of no one. He sniffed and smiled a little when he saw the beginnings of a soft one of my own rare real grins. “So let me make it up to you. Let me do something now.”

Our eyes locked. His fingerless-glove clad hand cupped my cheek and he pulled me forward. My heart raced as his warm cigarette-scented breathe heated my blessed face.

“You are important Mikey Way.” He whispered soulfully, both of us leaning forward.

Our lips touched and I beamed delightedly into it. Our noses rubbed together which tickled Frank as he let out the cutest giggle I have ever had grace my ears. His arms wrapped securely around me, his gentle hands running through my fortunate hair. I just sat in his lap, my arms limp in pleasure and shock, taking in my first kiss. He honoured my ears with his laughter once more when he slipped his tongue into my mouth, causing me to moan.

After a too-short eternity of bliss spent exploring each other’s mouth, he pulled apart, his grin almost as huge as my own, over-joyed one.

“You are important, Mikey Way. You are important to me.”





A/N: Thanks for reading, please review. Please. :)