Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > Revenge
He closed his eyes and lay his head against the vibrating wall, unable to stand the scene before him anymore. Tears welled up in his already red and soar eyes again, but he did not attemp to wipe them away or stop them from falling. It was a dream - a nightmare - it had to be, this was not possible! But a very unwelome voice in the back of his head told him that this was real. That at this moment he was not lying in a bed, surrounded by the blissful darkness and silence,
but that he was racing across roads in an ambulance with it's siren's blaring and violent blue lights flashing: Warning traffic out of it's way, warning them that a life hung in the balance. He ran his hand through his short hair, brushing past his large eyesbrows as he did, trying to think back to what had happened.
xxx
Earlier that night
It was last night on tour in the Europe, they were in London. He lost himself in the beat, allowing his sticks to become extensions of his arms. He smiled as he heard his brother singing 'Closer to the edge' which was to be their last song before Jared did his acousitic performance. Shannon Leto looked up in time to see his younger sibling leap into the roaring, pounding heart of the crowd, he shock his head and grinned, there was no doubt about it, Jared was crazy:
For all the times that Shannon had warned his brother against going into a crowd full of love-struck, pumped teenagers and rockers, or climbing to the top of the stage scaffolding, Jared had just brushed him and the danger away. Jared always remaind firm that the shows were about everyone involved forgetting the worries and troubles of the outside world.
Shannon peered round to Tomo, the third member of 30 Seconds to Mars, he too wore an amused grin at Jared's behaviour.
Shannon didn't quite know when it had happened, somewhere towards to end of the song as his brother was well and truly engulfed in the crowd, all that he knew was that it made his blood solidify in his veins: A scream, an in-human, animalistic howl of agony peirced the song. It caused the music to come to an abrupt end at once; Tomo had stopped playing and Shannon was left frozen, one hand still elavted from the drum's skin. There was one thing that Shannon was sure of, and that was that the scream has come from his brother... someone had hurt him.
The arena's lights came up as the air was punctured by further pityfull cries and panting - all heard over the microphone.
A figure clad in black was running away from where the crowd has parted slightly.
Instinctively, without thinking, Shannon leapt from his station - disrupting his drums as he did so - he tore across the stage, leapt the barrier and parted the crowd towards Jared. Tomo had also raced through the crowd, after the black-clad stranger, and disapeared out of the arena a few older members of the audience followed in his midst. The areana was a hectic frenzy of chaos: shouts and cries, frantic movement, blinding lights and security guards and officals runing to and fro.
The Echelon were beside themselves, gone were the delighted faces and joy of being so close to their heros, those who were further away called out for answers. Whereas the ones who were able to see Jared simply screamed with horror or cried. This did nothing for Shannon's nerve's as he ran through the parting crowd wondering what could have possibly caused his brother to make a noise like that, he shuddered. Shannon pushed pased the final layer of distraught fans which surrounded Jared. Shannon nearly passed out when he saw the sight before him...
Jared was laying on the ground, semi-conscious, His head was being held by a thirty-something year old who tried to comfort him. He lay in a pool of his own putrid red blood and out of his abdomen protruded the sickening handle of a knife. Shannon fell forwards at his brother's side, crying out for help not knowing what to do. He looked into his brother's eyes, A small smile curved Jared's bloody lips as he reconised Shannon, who tried his best to return it through the tears streaming down his face. Uniformed officials came running towards the brothers.
"We need to get him to the front", instructed a balding muscular man who gently grabed Jared's legs, "Carefully!"
Shannon helped him and a younger gaurd lift Jared's shaking body. The morbid procession was helped to the stage by the crowd, their face's too full of sadness.
Jared had been laid down on the stage, an oxygen mask on his face and Shannon gently stroking his dyed blonde hair, as they waited for an ambulance. The forty year old seemed to be unconscious now. A few onsite medics had administered pain-
killers and tried to stem the violent flow of blood.
After what seemed like an age of worry the stage side doors flew open and out rushed four paramedics, pushing a medical stretcher. Jared was lifted on to it. Shannon would have resorted to physical means to get himslef on the Ambulance with his brother, but he did not need it, he followed Jared into the vehicle and took a seet opposite where the stretcher had been placed. The Ambulance seemed to act as a miniature, mobile ward. An I.V was attched to Jared, feeding thick blood directly to his veins, he had not so much as flinched as various staff tended to him.
"Wha-What's gonna happen to him?", Shannon's voice was thick from emotion. He had not dared asked if his brother would be okay, of course he would... He had to be, the alternative was just too horrible to contemplate. One of the paramedics turned around to face Shannons wet and red eyes, she gave him a kind and knowing smile.
"It is too early to tell at the moment. His condition is very serious and there's not much we can do for him on here, he will need an emergancy operation as soon as we arrive, the best surgeon in the hospital will perform it, so try not to worry", She finnished by placing a consololing hand and Shannon's shoulder for a few moments before withdrawing it and returning to her work.
XxX
Shannon was dragged out of his uncomfortable thoughts by the vehicle lurching to a stop. The doors flew open and it was a hectic haze of movement. Jared's stretcher was lifted down on to the ground and was pushed at a brisk was along the tarmark. The little gray wheels were jolted up and down by the uneven gravel, causing Jared's limp body to vibrate. Shannon was close behind Jared. A sharp and painful pang in his chest came when he looked at his little brother's face.
He looked strangley at rest - even with an oxygen mask shoved on his face. His chest rose and fell rhythmically; he was still breathing. The rest of his body was caked in blood (both dry and shining wet), the knife still stuck out from under his ribcage a constant reminder to Shannon that his brother was not mearly sleeping.
They were now well within the depths of the University Hospital of Wales and were heading for theater. occasionaly someone did a did a slight double take as they saw Shannon raceing behind his unconscious brother.'Was that...no, can't be' they seemed to say.
More and more in the medical profession seemed to join them as they approched the Theater wing, this was a critical situation after all. Just as Shannon believed that he had rushed through enough prestine white corridors to have circuited the entire hospital the desperate procession came to a set of large and imposing double doors. Shannon tried to enter after Jared but a hand on his shoulder prevented him from doing so. All he could do was look into Jared's face before the doors swallowed him whole.
"Sorry hun, you can't go in there", it was the same women who had comforted him in the Ambulance, the same women whose hand had ceased his entry past the door's threshold, "You can sit here -" She indicated to a plasic seat opposite the doors in which Shannon sat down, "- I'm Anna, I'll be right by his side... he's strong - your brother...but his condition is very serious, and even the operation is high risk; we need to remove the knife whilst causing as little damage as possible. Our team is good. Jared's in good hands", She talked quickly, trying to inform Shannon as swiftly as possibleShe gave Shannon's arm a little squeeze before turning to go through the doors. Shannon watched her figure disappear before once more burrying his face in his hands.
Tomo was running, running faster than he ever had before. Behind him a slighly confused yet detrmind group pelted through to dark streets, all were united in the sole goal of catching the figure which they chased. This person, who ever it was, had been the cause of Jared's scream, that was all Tomo knew, and all Tomo needed to know. The figure had good stamina, that was for sure. It had lead Tomo and his warriors out of the arena, where Tomo's abdomen had constricted after seeing the small trail of blood left by the unknown human. The late hour and dark veil of night meant that the film-like chase through Wales' capital had gone unnoticed by most, those who did do a double take to look must have assumed that it was simpley the climax of a drunken night out.
Tomo had no time to appriciate the stillness of the night. The street gave off an eerie orange glow thanks to the sodium filled lamps. Oil resedue on the roads caused the moon's face to shine on the tarmark, keeping a watchful eye over the nights events without any means of interfering. A solitary honey-brown leaf had settled down on the entrance to an allyeway, after its dance with the cold wind, only to be tossed up again in the despirate wake on darkly clad shape. Before the leaf had any chance of fluttering back down to its gravel bed a second, third, forth... tenth human form had ran passed leaving a small ghost of wind behind them.
Without thinking the figure rushed down a dingy alley way, prehaps hoping to be swallowed by the shadows. Its ploy had not worked and the angry pack chasing It had turned into the alleyway. Tomo grinned wolfishly, his quary was within his grasp. The figure looked around wildly for a means of escape, there was none, nothing to allow freedom from the ever decreaing space between the old brick was and advancing mob.
"Who are you!", Tomo demanded, trying to control his rage. The figure did not answer. Tomo, rather recklessly, grabbed its black hoodie and slammed it up against the wall, "I said WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!", Tomo screamed into the hood covered face. When no answer but a deep chuckle came Tomo threw the hood off revealing a black haired man. He had dark cold eyes and a crooked, slightly insane and mirthless grin. His face was unclean and unshaven. Tomo looked back into his eyes with disgust and pure loathing. "What did you do to Jared!", Tomo growled giving his quary another violent shake.
"Let us have him Tomo!", Cried one of the Echelon behind, eager to make this man pay.
"No!", Tomo repied, "I don't want you guys getting into trouble!... Now ANSWER ME! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!" This time Tomo slammed him into the wall again. The twenty-something year old gave another sadistic laugh before finally speaking in a low, raspy voice.
"What are you getting so worked up about? I only Killed him", The man did not have any time to say anything eles for he recieved a hard, voilent blow to the abdomen, winding him, before he was thrown to the ground.
Tomo was shaking, voilently shaking with rage. This man, this sick twisted being below him... What he had said... It was not true, it couldn't be. Tomo mentally shook himself before the dreadful, incomprehensible idea grew any stronger in his mind. He gave another hard kick into the man's shin. The mortified crowd, who were as deprived of information on Jared's condition as Tomo, did not dare interupt Tomo's abuse of the creature.
Armed police had arrived to take the semi-consious figure away, they had been called by a breathless twenty year old girl as she ran a few feet away from Tomo mearly ten minutes ago. More police arrived to give statements, Tomo agreed to come back to the Cardiff station to give evidence against Jared's attacker.
As he sat in the interviewer room with a steaming mug of tea infront of him his thoughts ran away to his two best friends.
He had no idea where they were, If they were okay. He ran a hand through his sweat damp and tangled mane of hair. As he stared down at his knees a solitary salty tear slid down his cheek to become entangled and lost in his jet black beard.
xxx
Time was none exsistant. Mabey an hour had past, mabey mear minutes... He didn't know, he could have been sitting there for mounths. His brothers face danced in front of his own eyes:
Jared age 3 running around the garden, Shannon was giggling behind him... Jared age 5, it was christmas day, Jared and Shannon were performing their first ever 'concert' in front of their mum... Jared was 12, Shannon had walked in on him snogging his girlfriend... 1995 Jared has been stopped in the street by teenage girls screaming 'Jordan!' whislt out shopping with Shannon, Shannon was shaking his head and laughing at his sheepish brother... 1998 Their dream, Jared's dream is born... They are on a live stage for the first time as 30 Seconds to Mars, Jared leaps into the crowd and looks more alive than ever before... 2005 They are premoting the release of A Beautiful lie, Jared wants to film a video in China... 2007, Shannon has found Jared crying on their bathroom floor; Matt has told him that he is leaving... 2009, they are in Cardiif, Jared is covered in blood -
Shannon snapped his eyes open, despiratly trying to get the last image out of his mind. He wanted to get up, to run, to scream, to let the world know his pain and anguish. Shannon had declined the many offers of water or to go outside for some air; his legs were not working and he was doing all he could to prevent himself from being sick.
Another unknown passage of time.
A small beam of light began to grow between the two doors. Shannon slowly lifted his head to see who was passing through the doors. It was Anna. Shannon's mind was spinning, a mix of emotions. He was glad that he would finally be bestowed news... but what if...?
She gave Shannon a small smile.
"Would you please follow me Mr. Leto", Shannon's heart began to race as he rose from his seat. His body, his mind was numbed as he followed the slim brunette through the pristine corridor. She guestured for him to enter through a door in the adjoining corridor.
There was a strange air to this room. Was it the fact that it looked much more homely than a consulting room normally looks? It was small, a few plants adorned the room and a blue two seater settee lay against the opposite the window. A pine coffee table was pushed next to the settee. Shannon took a seat on it next to Anna.
"Is he okay?", Shannon spluttered before Anna could open her mouth. She remained silent, chewing her bottom lip, trying to hold back her words for as long as possible, "please Anna...", She looked into his hazel eyes and sighed. She understood his inate need for information
"Shannon, your brother -", she took a deep breath, "... he lost a lot of blood." Feeling began to seep through Shannon's mind, like ice that had been placed down his shirt.
"B-but your a hospital! You can... you can fix that!", Shannon's voice was thick and was concealing many tears. Anna gave him a pained look and place a soft hand on his thigh. Shannon wounld not have had the strength to shrug her off if he wanted to.
"No, Shannon... there was a complication, the knife, was burried too deep. I'm so sorry...", If Anna looked on the verge of tears then it was nothing compared to Shannon, his eyes had become full and red.
"But he can't... He has to be ok! p-please tell me he's going to be ok!... My little brother..." He flung his head into his hands and shook it from side to side, sobbing, raking his hands through his hair like a wounded animal. Anna knew that she couldn't say the next words, the words that she had come to say, for her sake as much as Shannons.
"I - He...Shannon I think that you'd better see... for yourself"
Shannon was empty. He had left his heart, his innards back in that room. He was blinded by tears and his mind was whirling as the two approched a small door next to the operating theater. Anna hesitated and turned to look at Shannon.
Mabey this was some sort of sick joke which Jared had conjored up and that Anna was in on. Mabey he would walk through the door and Jared would leap up behind him, laughing, His boyish smile reflected in his eyes just as much as on his mouth. That beautiful, glorious image was destroyed, damaged beyond repair as a naked piece of paper in a Hurricane, when the wooden wall was finally swung open.
Solemness seemed to rush out of the room and slap Shannon in the face. A terrible calm had decended over it. There was no rushing, no desperate shouts to coleges. Nothing that would have reinforced the idea that a life was being saved. Instead the room was almost empty.
It was surgically clean with stainless steel surfaces. There were double doors along one wall which Shannon guessed led from the operating theater. However, it was not the shinning tiles that drew Shannon's attention, nor the lack of medical equipment, no, It was trolley that lay in the middle of the room. The trolley's occupant was blocked by a figure - someone donned in medical clothes, Shannon did not give much care for who it was. The figure turned to look at the two newcommers.
She gave a small smile.
"You must be Shannon... he asked for you - before we sedated him.", Shannon was momentarily stunned by this information
"He - he came around?", he asked, The nurse nodded. Guilt flooded through him. His brother had neeeded him... and he had not been there.
"I'm sorry... for your loss...", she replied.
Loss... the word embedded itself in his mind, seeping through it like poison. He shook his head again and suddenly realised that he did not wish to see what resided behind the nurse. He had no choice, she steped away, giving Shannon full view.
He sank to his knees beside the trolley. He wailed. He sobbed. He fell apart. It could not be happening he told himself over and over. Though there it was right in front of him, the incontrovertable truth.
Upon the slab was Jared, except that he wasn't really there. His eyelids blocked his beautiful blue eyes from the world,
the eyes that would never again see, never more twinkle in laughter. His lips were slightly parted and had a blue tinge to them. THe IV tubes and breathing apparatus had been removed; there job was to preserve life, they could not give it. Shannon reached out to touch Jared's hand it was cold, no pulse beat under his skin. Shannon let out a howl of grief and clawed at his face which was now inbetween his knees, trying to use pain as an outlet for his misery.
Anna looked on at the heart wrenching scene. She hated her job sometimes, especially when there was nothing more she could do.
Though still sobbing Shannon pulled himself up with enormus effort so that he was standing over his brother's graying face. He reached out and stroked the blood deprived cheeks as large tears fell upon them.
"Jared... Jared...I'm so sorry... Jay", He sobbed seemingly hoping that the blue eyes would swing open if he called his name enough.
Anna was teetering on the balls of her feet, preparing to go to Shannon and take him outside, when multiple sets of rushing footsteps and rasied despirate voices were growing louder and louder.
Shannon raised the head that he had burried in Jareds neck. One of those voices was so familiar.
"I don't care about bloody protcocals! Let me see him!"
"Mr Milicevic, we understand but we can't let you in th -"
"As I said I don't care! It's my best friend your talking about and I need to know!", Just then Tomo bearded face appeared in the door that had been swung open. He paused, almost in mid air, a few steps into the room as he digested the scene.
"NO!" he cried, shrugging of the hands of the two people he had been arguing with off of his shoulders and running towards the two Letos. "Shannon, I'm so -"
"Sorry?", finnished the older Leto, "Yeah... but sorry isn't going to bring him back is it!", He had not meant to be so bitter, especially not to Tomo, but he could not help it. He looked up at Tomo, who was also crying, and gave an awkward smile as if to apologise. Tomo nodded, he understood. Shannon took a small step away from Jared after giving him a heart-
felt look. "Did you catch that bastard? Did you wring his scrawny neck?", Shannon asked Tomo
"I would've Shann, I nearly did, if only those police 'ad given me another five minutes with 'im!", Shannon gave a stiff nod in reply.
"I'm sorry gentlemen, we need to ask you to step outside...", It was the nurse and as she spoke she moved over to Jared and gripped the thin pale blue sheet that was draped over the lower half of his body. As she disturbed it the sheet reveled a wound on Jared's abdomen. The knife had been removed and all that was left was a large stab wound which had been neatly stitched, presumably after Jared had died. All of the blood had also been washed off him, rather lovingly.
Tomo and Shannon followed Anna out of the room. Shannon had never felt more trapped within himself. His mother, Constance,
had arrived shortly after. Shannon didn't think he'd ever seen a women look more distraugt. The mother and Son had to sit in the homely consulting room with Anna as they disgused what was next. Shannon did not care, he was completly apathetic to the proceedings. A part off him greatly wishing that they were planning his own funeral.
xxx
Shannon was never sure how he survived the week leading up to Jared's funeral. Wherever he went, wherever he turned he was constantly reminded of the fact that he would never again see his brother or hear his voice. His death had made head line news. Newsreaders around the world thoughtlessly read the words on the autocue. Hardly caring for what they were saying. Their eyes bore into Shannon as their lips moved before the editor would cut to a montage of Jared singing and acting (the news stations seemed to like Mr. Nobody in particular).
Shannon had purposefully avoided the internet. If he had logged on then he would have - unsuprisingly - found that his twitter, emails, the thirty seconds to mars website had been flooded with tributes, fan's consolanses and people sending their love to Jared's friends and family. The Echelon of course were distraugt. The news was so sudden so unexpected that many had woken up, inncoently turned the breakfast news on before school or work to find that their idol, their rolemodel,
the singer of their favourite band had been murdered that very night.
Shannon had not left the house since they arrived in Los Angeles. The airports had been hell. Masses of people trying to talk to him Tomo and Constance. The same could be said for the plane journey. After spending an extra few hours at the hospital, of these hours Shannon remained slient not caring for what people were saying, the trio left for Cardiff airport for the next plane back to America.
Shannon ignored the paparazzi which swarmed outside his house, the house in which untill recently he had shared with Jared, he just allowed them to continue snapping at the door and their feeble attempts to question Shannon on "What was next for the band" or "How did his brothers death make him feel" some were quereing what happened that night. Even if Shannon were to answer those questions, if he were to answer honestly he would say "I don't know".
He simply sat in the living room (sleeping there some nights) half heartedly watching old films. He drank a lot more Alcohol that he previously did. There was something about the way the warm liquid slid down his throat and wached all thought away that comforted him. In those prescious drunken hours Jared was still alive locked in his room, writing songs or painting. But then Shannon would sober up and every thing crashed down upon him like he had just fallen down a massive waterfall. He would lay on the floor and grieve, crying until his throat was sore and his eyes held no more tears. He stayed like this for four days.
It was the night before the funeral. Shannon looked out at the sea thinking of how welcoming the prospect of diving into it and never again surfacing was. Shannon had not dressed that day nor shaved the living room was an explosion of rented DVD's and empty liquor bottles. It was like he had died with his brother, he was a ghost of the man he had been before,
now he was consumed by grief, he was empty inside a bottomless pit of sorrow.
The telephone rang just as Shannon was pouring himself a hearty glass of Whisky. As he had done with all previous phone calls this week, he ignored it. He had no desire to talk to anybody. After he had drained the glass the phone's monotonous ringing began again but Shannon did not change tack. This went on two more times before a furious pounded pelted the door. Shannon sighed as a voice could be heard through the letterbox.
"Shannon! SHANNON! Open up for christ sake! I know your in there! SHANNON! Open this fucking door before I knock it down!"
"Leave me alone Tomo...", Shannon replied from the kitchen.
"Shannon...", Tomo was slightly calmer now relieved to hear his friends voice, "Shann, please I can't bare to see you like this... please, no ones spoken to you all week... you could have been dead for all we knew", the last sentence struck a chord very close to Shannons heart
"I wish I fucking was!", he spat.
"Shann... please...", Tomo voice was thick with something, was it tears? Shannon exhaled loudly before dragging his feet towards the frount door. Tomo nearly fell through the threshold when the door was open.
"Shannon!", he cried before throwing his arms around his neck. He broke away and stared at Shannon. He was a mess: His hair was uncombed and his beard long and scruffy. He was in his drawstring pyjama bottoms and was rather skinny. "Shann...
you have eaten, haven't you?", Tomo's voice was full of concern. Shannon shrugged nonchalantly. Tomo shook his head
"Shann... Jared wouldnt've wanted this...", He kept his voice delicate.
"He's not here is he... so how the fuc-"
"-Shannon! Please, calm down! look... I'm staying here tonight - I don't care what you say - you need someone here!",
Tomo finnished with a small smile half expecting Shannon to flip out again, however his reaction was quite the opposite.
He slid down the wall and began to sob.
"I can't to it tommorow Tome, I can't, I just can't... I - I -",
"Hey... come now...", Tomo sank down beside him, "No one wants to go... I'd rather we just pretend that everything is ok,
but we can't... we have to do it, for him... we have to say goodbye...", Shannon nodded as Tomo wiped away the tears from his face with his sleeve like a mother with her hysterical child.
Shannon was glad to have Tomo in the house as he fell asleep. He had cooked one of his Croatian dishes and they watched a film together. Tomo was sleeping in the spare room, neither of them had even considered him sleeping in Jared's room.
Shannon hadn't set foot in there, it was exactly the same as it had been: lyrics pinned to the fall and paper strewn around the room, Pythagoras and Artemis on their stands, his easel in the corner and above all the wall which had photos stuck to it. The photos were from all different moments of his life, mostly of the band and the different counties they had toured.
Dispite all of this, Shannon dreaded what the mourning would bring.
Jared's body had been shipped over from Wales shortly after Shannon, Tomo and Constance had flown back to L.A. It now resided inside a herse which was parked outside Shannon's home. His coffin was adorned with flowers and a large flag that bore the traid and the words 'provehito in altum' was draped over the wood.
Shannon was inside with Tomo, Vickki and his immediate family. They were all dressed in formal balck attire. Shannon was sure that his brother would have been happier if they all turned up in jeans and t-shirts, Shannon held back a laugh at the idea of Jared turning up to his own funeral with is signature pomegranate mohawk, studded jeans and shreaded shirt.
The procession was very sombre and formal. Inside the funeral car was Shannon, Tomo, Constance and Ruby (Shannon's grandmother). They hardly spoke as they followed the herese to the church. This seremony was private but that hadn't stopped the people who had lined the streets outside the church with candles, flowers and banners to pay tribute and say goodbye.
The service was held by a friend of Jared's and dispite the dreadful occasion all was done to reflect the true Jared. Many people whom he had worked with gave speech's, even Colin Farell did. Many pictures of Jared surrounded the coffin and more tears seemed to well in Shannon's eyes the more he looked at them, instead he tried to avert his gaze to whoever was giving the speech
"...As all of us who were privallaged enough to know the true Jared, he was a kind, sensitive, funny man who bloody well knew how to have a laugh -" A few appreciative cheers ran out "- He touched many thousands of hearts aroud the world, with his music, his films, his voice and his creativity... I know that he will never be forgotten... and he will never fade away"
A noise was growing outside, Shannon swiveled his head to see that outside the doors the Echelon had stared singing:
"OoooOooO... Into the night..."
Shannon smiled, he couldn't think of a better way for the curtains to cover his coffin: The Echelon sending him off.
xxx
There was only one place where Jared's ashes could have been spread; up on the mountain where they had shot Kings and Queens, and that is where Tomo, Vikki, Constance, Ruby and Shannon were now congratgated. As the sun began to set Shannon picked up his guitar and strummed L490, it had always been one of Jared's favorites. Constance opened the lid on the urn and allowed it's contents to float away on the breeze.
Dispite the stillness of the nigh Shannon wondered how he was to carry on without his brother, he had been more than simply a brother, he had been a best friend, someone who shared such an amazing and magical expirence with. Even though had it not been for 30 Seconds to Mars Jared may still be alive, he doubted that they would be as close or they would have been as happy.
xxx
Another week had passed. The media fever of Jared's death had died down and many were starting to move on. Radios had developed a habit of playing 30 Seconds to Mars songs more frequently though, and Shannon had caught Requiem for a Dream being televisalised on ABC, though he had been unable to bring himself to watch it. Shannon was eating a little now,
but still drinkin - though not as heavy. Tomo had visited most days which prevented Shannon from slipping into the habits he had adopted a week ago.
It was early on monday morning when the phone rang. Shannon slumped off the settee after watching a re-run of 'Friends'
to answer it
"Shannon Leto...", He spoke into the reciver and heard a familiar voice in return
"Hi...Shannon, It's Anna..."
Anna?... Shannon was momentarily stupefied, the phone hovered around his ear.
"Shannon...are you there?", Shannon fell back to his senses
"Err, yeah i'm here... how did you get my -?", Anna giggled - cutting him off
"Your mother gave me your number... In the consulting room, don't you remember?", Shannon was stunned, he had no recolection of the event. That should not have suprised him though he had been in a complete apathetic stupor during those moments in the hospital, "Look Shann, I'm in L.A I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch... say 12:00?"
"Yeah... Yeah, that would be great!",
"Ok then I'll meet you at your house at 12!",
"Sure, see you then.", After exchanging goodbyes Shannon placed the phone down onto the reciver. A feeling that had become alien to him over the past two weeks began to creep through his body: Happiness. He guessed that Constance had given her his address, he smiled, his mother was always trying to get him to meet people, especially if they were female, he guessed that it got her down sometimes that she did not have grandchildren.
Shannon was standing in the mirror just before noon. He messed up his hair a little with his hands. He was wearing jeans and a long sleved black shirt with his beloved denim jacket over it. He nodded at his reflection before walking over to a door opposite the bathroom. He paused with his hand inches from the handle, he hadn't been in this room since...He pushed down and opened the door.
Jared's bed was still neatly made, his curtains were drawn open showing the wondeful view that Jared had of the sea and Santa Monica pier. Shannon went over to Jared's bed and sat down. His pillows still smelt of him. Shannon felt his eyes dampen. He picked up a disgaurded piece of paper of the floor and smoothed it out
Revenge
/]
[/One day I'll return the chosen one under God,
The Prodigal Son, Wrecking Havoke inside
And yes I will get my Revenge...
/]
[/One Life left to live To forgive, Make amends,
Wash away my sins Prepare for Judgment Only then will I get Revenge...
Shannon smiled as a solitary tear ran down his cheeck and splashed onto the creased paper. He walked over to Jared's song wall and pinned this new song up wondering why he hadn't seen it before.
A photo caught Shannon's eye. It was of him and Jared in China. Jared was pulling a ridiculus face and had made 'bunny ears' behind Shannons head who was pretending to growl at the camera, Tomo had taken the picture; his thumb was visible in the shot.
The doorbell rang, Shannon took the picture and gently placed it into his pocket. Just before he close Jared's door he took one last sweeping look at the room
"Goodnight Jay...", He whisperd before he slowly closed the wooden door.
After quickly scruffing up his hair again in the mirror he opened the front door. Anna was standing in the door way. She had a beautiful, yet simple, blue dress which complemented her slim physic. Her chocolate hair was down and slightly currled and she had very little make up on. She looked beautiful.
"Anna!", Shannon greeted before hugging her.
"Hey, Shann",
They stared at each other for a few minutes before Shannon guestured outside. They began to walk down the streets of L.A,
talking. It was a few minutes before Shannon realised that they had not made arangments on where they were heading.
"I know this great place to eat", He said pointing down a little sidestreet to indicate it's position, "I used to go there all the time with...", Shannon's voice faded away to nothing. Anna understood and did not press him, instead she walked down the side street with him.
Barley ten minutes later they were sat at a little two seater table in a small but pleasent restraunt having just ordered.
They were both deep in conversation, giving each other information on their lives. Anna was just a few years younger than Shannon, she has a younger sister called Elise and always wanted to work within the medical profession.
A silence lowered itself upon the two as their food was brought and they ate. There was a question that had been burining in him.
"What happened to that man, Jared's... killer... has he been sentenced?", Anna looked up from her feta salad.
"Harry Lyons?...The trail is still going, I think that he will get life though, I know the judge...", Shannon scoffed, seemingly thinking that the man deserved a far worse puishment.
"Why couldn't he have been tried in somewhere like Texas? I'd be able to see that bas - that man, pay for what he's done,
I could get revenge...", Shannon tried to control his anger.
"I know...", Anna whispered before placing her soft had on Shannon's, which had been hardened by years of drumming. As she moved Shannon caught a glipse of something around her neck. A tiangle with a horizontal line through it...the symbol for air... the -
"Triad?", Shannon said subconciously
"Huh, What?... Oh, yes", Anna giggled, "it's a sort of good luck charm... I always wear it, my sister made it for me.", She smiled. Shannon returned it. "She loves your band... I do too, she bought me two tickets to your show a few years ago... you were amazing!"
"Thanks... It was Jay who did most of the work though, he was a workaholic... My and Tomo tried to get him to just take a few years out but...", Shannon gave a small laugh, "A mule was less stubbon than him", Anna gave a sympathetic smile
"You both had such a special relationship... I saw it - that night", Shannon nodded, "He was one hell of a loved man, his memorial on Saturday... it was beautifull, what you said...", Shannon's lips curled as he thought back to the public memorial service, thousands of people around the world truned up to be in that areana, and thousands more had watched it on their televisions.
"... I'm gonna miss him, terribly.", Shannon looked into Anna's face his hazel eye's looking into her deep coffee brown ones. Shannons hand brushed the photograph in his pocket as he lifted his hand up to touch her cheek. He gave a soft laugh as he remembered the photo, "I just wish that I could see him again...but they say that there is a silver linning to everything." Anna looked momentarily confused as his fingers brushed her lips. Shannon leant forward across the table, his eyes gleaming
"What do you mean?", she asked
"I met you...", he whispered. And with those words their mouths met in to a delicate but passionate kiss. Evert thing eles dissolved around them and the only thing that exsisted was eachother.
xxx
It was late and the sun was setting causing Anna's face to glow radiant orange. She looked at the man who sat beside her.
There was passion in his eyes as he stared out to sea, his muscular figure becomming more silhoueeted each second as the sun sank below the horizon. He turned to look at her with a burning love in his eyes. A playfull smile danced across his lips before he pounced on her. They both rolled on the white sand, laughing.
"I really like you Anna", He said looking into her eyes.
"I really like you too..."
How strange, Anna thought as they walked back to Shannon's home knowing that they both had a long and happy lives together a head of them, that such a beautiful rose could grow in the most barron of wastelands...
but that he was racing across roads in an ambulance with it's siren's blaring and violent blue lights flashing: Warning traffic out of it's way, warning them that a life hung in the balance. He ran his hand through his short hair, brushing past his large eyesbrows as he did, trying to think back to what had happened.
xxx
Earlier that night
It was last night on tour in the Europe, they were in London. He lost himself in the beat, allowing his sticks to become extensions of his arms. He smiled as he heard his brother singing 'Closer to the edge' which was to be their last song before Jared did his acousitic performance. Shannon Leto looked up in time to see his younger sibling leap into the roaring, pounding heart of the crowd, he shock his head and grinned, there was no doubt about it, Jared was crazy:
For all the times that Shannon had warned his brother against going into a crowd full of love-struck, pumped teenagers and rockers, or climbing to the top of the stage scaffolding, Jared had just brushed him and the danger away. Jared always remaind firm that the shows were about everyone involved forgetting the worries and troubles of the outside world.
Shannon peered round to Tomo, the third member of 30 Seconds to Mars, he too wore an amused grin at Jared's behaviour.
Shannon didn't quite know when it had happened, somewhere towards to end of the song as his brother was well and truly engulfed in the crowd, all that he knew was that it made his blood solidify in his veins: A scream, an in-human, animalistic howl of agony peirced the song. It caused the music to come to an abrupt end at once; Tomo had stopped playing and Shannon was left frozen, one hand still elavted from the drum's skin. There was one thing that Shannon was sure of, and that was that the scream has come from his brother... someone had hurt him.
The arena's lights came up as the air was punctured by further pityfull cries and panting - all heard over the microphone.
A figure clad in black was running away from where the crowd has parted slightly.
Instinctively, without thinking, Shannon leapt from his station - disrupting his drums as he did so - he tore across the stage, leapt the barrier and parted the crowd towards Jared. Tomo had also raced through the crowd, after the black-clad stranger, and disapeared out of the arena a few older members of the audience followed in his midst. The areana was a hectic frenzy of chaos: shouts and cries, frantic movement, blinding lights and security guards and officals runing to and fro.
The Echelon were beside themselves, gone were the delighted faces and joy of being so close to their heros, those who were further away called out for answers. Whereas the ones who were able to see Jared simply screamed with horror or cried. This did nothing for Shannon's nerve's as he ran through the parting crowd wondering what could have possibly caused his brother to make a noise like that, he shuddered. Shannon pushed pased the final layer of distraught fans which surrounded Jared. Shannon nearly passed out when he saw the sight before him...
Jared was laying on the ground, semi-conscious, His head was being held by a thirty-something year old who tried to comfort him. He lay in a pool of his own putrid red blood and out of his abdomen protruded the sickening handle of a knife. Shannon fell forwards at his brother's side, crying out for help not knowing what to do. He looked into his brother's eyes, A small smile curved Jared's bloody lips as he reconised Shannon, who tried his best to return it through the tears streaming down his face. Uniformed officials came running towards the brothers.
"We need to get him to the front", instructed a balding muscular man who gently grabed Jared's legs, "Carefully!"
Shannon helped him and a younger gaurd lift Jared's shaking body. The morbid procession was helped to the stage by the crowd, their face's too full of sadness.
Jared had been laid down on the stage, an oxygen mask on his face and Shannon gently stroking his dyed blonde hair, as they waited for an ambulance. The forty year old seemed to be unconscious now. A few onsite medics had administered pain-
killers and tried to stem the violent flow of blood.
After what seemed like an age of worry the stage side doors flew open and out rushed four paramedics, pushing a medical stretcher. Jared was lifted on to it. Shannon would have resorted to physical means to get himslef on the Ambulance with his brother, but he did not need it, he followed Jared into the vehicle and took a seet opposite where the stretcher had been placed. The Ambulance seemed to act as a miniature, mobile ward. An I.V was attched to Jared, feeding thick blood directly to his veins, he had not so much as flinched as various staff tended to him.
"Wha-What's gonna happen to him?", Shannon's voice was thick from emotion. He had not dared asked if his brother would be okay, of course he would... He had to be, the alternative was just too horrible to contemplate. One of the paramedics turned around to face Shannons wet and red eyes, she gave him a kind and knowing smile.
"It is too early to tell at the moment. His condition is very serious and there's not much we can do for him on here, he will need an emergancy operation as soon as we arrive, the best surgeon in the hospital will perform it, so try not to worry", She finnished by placing a consololing hand and Shannon's shoulder for a few moments before withdrawing it and returning to her work.
XxX
Shannon was dragged out of his uncomfortable thoughts by the vehicle lurching to a stop. The doors flew open and it was a hectic haze of movement. Jared's stretcher was lifted down on to the ground and was pushed at a brisk was along the tarmark. The little gray wheels were jolted up and down by the uneven gravel, causing Jared's limp body to vibrate. Shannon was close behind Jared. A sharp and painful pang in his chest came when he looked at his little brother's face.
He looked strangley at rest - even with an oxygen mask shoved on his face. His chest rose and fell rhythmically; he was still breathing. The rest of his body was caked in blood (both dry and shining wet), the knife still stuck out from under his ribcage a constant reminder to Shannon that his brother was not mearly sleeping.
They were now well within the depths of the University Hospital of Wales and were heading for theater. occasionaly someone did a did a slight double take as they saw Shannon raceing behind his unconscious brother.'Was that...no, can't be' they seemed to say.
More and more in the medical profession seemed to join them as they approched the Theater wing, this was a critical situation after all. Just as Shannon believed that he had rushed through enough prestine white corridors to have circuited the entire hospital the desperate procession came to a set of large and imposing double doors. Shannon tried to enter after Jared but a hand on his shoulder prevented him from doing so. All he could do was look into Jared's face before the doors swallowed him whole.
"Sorry hun, you can't go in there", it was the same women who had comforted him in the Ambulance, the same women whose hand had ceased his entry past the door's threshold, "You can sit here -" She indicated to a plasic seat opposite the doors in which Shannon sat down, "- I'm Anna, I'll be right by his side... he's strong - your brother...but his condition is very serious, and even the operation is high risk; we need to remove the knife whilst causing as little damage as possible. Our team is good. Jared's in good hands", She talked quickly, trying to inform Shannon as swiftly as possibleShe gave Shannon's arm a little squeeze before turning to go through the doors. Shannon watched her figure disappear before once more burrying his face in his hands.
Tomo was running, running faster than he ever had before. Behind him a slighly confused yet detrmind group pelted through to dark streets, all were united in the sole goal of catching the figure which they chased. This person, who ever it was, had been the cause of Jared's scream, that was all Tomo knew, and all Tomo needed to know. The figure had good stamina, that was for sure. It had lead Tomo and his warriors out of the arena, where Tomo's abdomen had constricted after seeing the small trail of blood left by the unknown human. The late hour and dark veil of night meant that the film-like chase through Wales' capital had gone unnoticed by most, those who did do a double take to look must have assumed that it was simpley the climax of a drunken night out.
Tomo had no time to appriciate the stillness of the night. The street gave off an eerie orange glow thanks to the sodium filled lamps. Oil resedue on the roads caused the moon's face to shine on the tarmark, keeping a watchful eye over the nights events without any means of interfering. A solitary honey-brown leaf had settled down on the entrance to an allyeway, after its dance with the cold wind, only to be tossed up again in the despirate wake on darkly clad shape. Before the leaf had any chance of fluttering back down to its gravel bed a second, third, forth... tenth human form had ran passed leaving a small ghost of wind behind them.
Without thinking the figure rushed down a dingy alley way, prehaps hoping to be swallowed by the shadows. Its ploy had not worked and the angry pack chasing It had turned into the alleyway. Tomo grinned wolfishly, his quary was within his grasp. The figure looked around wildly for a means of escape, there was none, nothing to allow freedom from the ever decreaing space between the old brick was and advancing mob.
"Who are you!", Tomo demanded, trying to control his rage. The figure did not answer. Tomo, rather recklessly, grabbed its black hoodie and slammed it up against the wall, "I said WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!", Tomo screamed into the hood covered face. When no answer but a deep chuckle came Tomo threw the hood off revealing a black haired man. He had dark cold eyes and a crooked, slightly insane and mirthless grin. His face was unclean and unshaven. Tomo looked back into his eyes with disgust and pure loathing. "What did you do to Jared!", Tomo growled giving his quary another violent shake.
"Let us have him Tomo!", Cried one of the Echelon behind, eager to make this man pay.
"No!", Tomo repied, "I don't want you guys getting into trouble!... Now ANSWER ME! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!" This time Tomo slammed him into the wall again. The twenty-something year old gave another sadistic laugh before finally speaking in a low, raspy voice.
"What are you getting so worked up about? I only Killed him", The man did not have any time to say anything eles for he recieved a hard, voilent blow to the abdomen, winding him, before he was thrown to the ground.
Tomo was shaking, voilently shaking with rage. This man, this sick twisted being below him... What he had said... It was not true, it couldn't be. Tomo mentally shook himself before the dreadful, incomprehensible idea grew any stronger in his mind. He gave another hard kick into the man's shin. The mortified crowd, who were as deprived of information on Jared's condition as Tomo, did not dare interupt Tomo's abuse of the creature.
Armed police had arrived to take the semi-consious figure away, they had been called by a breathless twenty year old girl as she ran a few feet away from Tomo mearly ten minutes ago. More police arrived to give statements, Tomo agreed to come back to the Cardiff station to give evidence against Jared's attacker.
As he sat in the interviewer room with a steaming mug of tea infront of him his thoughts ran away to his two best friends.
He had no idea where they were, If they were okay. He ran a hand through his sweat damp and tangled mane of hair. As he stared down at his knees a solitary salty tear slid down his cheek to become entangled and lost in his jet black beard.
xxx
Time was none exsistant. Mabey an hour had past, mabey mear minutes... He didn't know, he could have been sitting there for mounths. His brothers face danced in front of his own eyes:
Jared age 3 running around the garden, Shannon was giggling behind him... Jared age 5, it was christmas day, Jared and Shannon were performing their first ever 'concert' in front of their mum... Jared was 12, Shannon had walked in on him snogging his girlfriend... 1995 Jared has been stopped in the street by teenage girls screaming 'Jordan!' whislt out shopping with Shannon, Shannon was shaking his head and laughing at his sheepish brother... 1998 Their dream, Jared's dream is born... They are on a live stage for the first time as 30 Seconds to Mars, Jared leaps into the crowd and looks more alive than ever before... 2005 They are premoting the release of A Beautiful lie, Jared wants to film a video in China... 2007, Shannon has found Jared crying on their bathroom floor; Matt has told him that he is leaving... 2009, they are in Cardiif, Jared is covered in blood -
Shannon snapped his eyes open, despiratly trying to get the last image out of his mind. He wanted to get up, to run, to scream, to let the world know his pain and anguish. Shannon had declined the many offers of water or to go outside for some air; his legs were not working and he was doing all he could to prevent himself from being sick.
Another unknown passage of time.
A small beam of light began to grow between the two doors. Shannon slowly lifted his head to see who was passing through the doors. It was Anna. Shannon's mind was spinning, a mix of emotions. He was glad that he would finally be bestowed news... but what if...?
She gave Shannon a small smile.
"Would you please follow me Mr. Leto", Shannon's heart began to race as he rose from his seat. His body, his mind was numbed as he followed the slim brunette through the pristine corridor. She guestured for him to enter through a door in the adjoining corridor.
There was a strange air to this room. Was it the fact that it looked much more homely than a consulting room normally looks? It was small, a few plants adorned the room and a blue two seater settee lay against the opposite the window. A pine coffee table was pushed next to the settee. Shannon took a seat on it next to Anna.
"Is he okay?", Shannon spluttered before Anna could open her mouth. She remained silent, chewing her bottom lip, trying to hold back her words for as long as possible, "please Anna...", She looked into his hazel eyes and sighed. She understood his inate need for information
"Shannon, your brother -", she took a deep breath, "... he lost a lot of blood." Feeling began to seep through Shannon's mind, like ice that had been placed down his shirt.
"B-but your a hospital! You can... you can fix that!", Shannon's voice was thick and was concealing many tears. Anna gave him a pained look and place a soft hand on his thigh. Shannon wounld not have had the strength to shrug her off if he wanted to.
"No, Shannon... there was a complication, the knife, was burried too deep. I'm so sorry...", If Anna looked on the verge of tears then it was nothing compared to Shannon, his eyes had become full and red.
"But he can't... He has to be ok! p-please tell me he's going to be ok!... My little brother..." He flung his head into his hands and shook it from side to side, sobbing, raking his hands through his hair like a wounded animal. Anna knew that she couldn't say the next words, the words that she had come to say, for her sake as much as Shannons.
"I - He...Shannon I think that you'd better see... for yourself"
Shannon was empty. He had left his heart, his innards back in that room. He was blinded by tears and his mind was whirling as the two approched a small door next to the operating theater. Anna hesitated and turned to look at Shannon.
Mabey this was some sort of sick joke which Jared had conjored up and that Anna was in on. Mabey he would walk through the door and Jared would leap up behind him, laughing, His boyish smile reflected in his eyes just as much as on his mouth. That beautiful, glorious image was destroyed, damaged beyond repair as a naked piece of paper in a Hurricane, when the wooden wall was finally swung open.
Solemness seemed to rush out of the room and slap Shannon in the face. A terrible calm had decended over it. There was no rushing, no desperate shouts to coleges. Nothing that would have reinforced the idea that a life was being saved. Instead the room was almost empty.
It was surgically clean with stainless steel surfaces. There were double doors along one wall which Shannon guessed led from the operating theater. However, it was not the shinning tiles that drew Shannon's attention, nor the lack of medical equipment, no, It was trolley that lay in the middle of the room. The trolley's occupant was blocked by a figure - someone donned in medical clothes, Shannon did not give much care for who it was. The figure turned to look at the two newcommers.
She gave a small smile.
"You must be Shannon... he asked for you - before we sedated him.", Shannon was momentarily stunned by this information
"He - he came around?", he asked, The nurse nodded. Guilt flooded through him. His brother had neeeded him... and he had not been there.
"I'm sorry... for your loss...", she replied.
Loss... the word embedded itself in his mind, seeping through it like poison. He shook his head again and suddenly realised that he did not wish to see what resided behind the nurse. He had no choice, she steped away, giving Shannon full view.
He sank to his knees beside the trolley. He wailed. He sobbed. He fell apart. It could not be happening he told himself over and over. Though there it was right in front of him, the incontrovertable truth.
Upon the slab was Jared, except that he wasn't really there. His eyelids blocked his beautiful blue eyes from the world,
the eyes that would never again see, never more twinkle in laughter. His lips were slightly parted and had a blue tinge to them. THe IV tubes and breathing apparatus had been removed; there job was to preserve life, they could not give it. Shannon reached out to touch Jared's hand it was cold, no pulse beat under his skin. Shannon let out a howl of grief and clawed at his face which was now inbetween his knees, trying to use pain as an outlet for his misery.
Anna looked on at the heart wrenching scene. She hated her job sometimes, especially when there was nothing more she could do.
Though still sobbing Shannon pulled himself up with enormus effort so that he was standing over his brother's graying face. He reached out and stroked the blood deprived cheeks as large tears fell upon them.
"Jared... Jared...I'm so sorry... Jay", He sobbed seemingly hoping that the blue eyes would swing open if he called his name enough.
Anna was teetering on the balls of her feet, preparing to go to Shannon and take him outside, when multiple sets of rushing footsteps and rasied despirate voices were growing louder and louder.
Shannon raised the head that he had burried in Jareds neck. One of those voices was so familiar.
"I don't care about bloody protcocals! Let me see him!"
"Mr Milicevic, we understand but we can't let you in th -"
"As I said I don't care! It's my best friend your talking about and I need to know!", Just then Tomo bearded face appeared in the door that had been swung open. He paused, almost in mid air, a few steps into the room as he digested the scene.
"NO!" he cried, shrugging of the hands of the two people he had been arguing with off of his shoulders and running towards the two Letos. "Shannon, I'm so -"
"Sorry?", finnished the older Leto, "Yeah... but sorry isn't going to bring him back is it!", He had not meant to be so bitter, especially not to Tomo, but he could not help it. He looked up at Tomo, who was also crying, and gave an awkward smile as if to apologise. Tomo nodded, he understood. Shannon took a small step away from Jared after giving him a heart-
felt look. "Did you catch that bastard? Did you wring his scrawny neck?", Shannon asked Tomo
"I would've Shann, I nearly did, if only those police 'ad given me another five minutes with 'im!", Shannon gave a stiff nod in reply.
"I'm sorry gentlemen, we need to ask you to step outside...", It was the nurse and as she spoke she moved over to Jared and gripped the thin pale blue sheet that was draped over the lower half of his body. As she disturbed it the sheet reveled a wound on Jared's abdomen. The knife had been removed and all that was left was a large stab wound which had been neatly stitched, presumably after Jared had died. All of the blood had also been washed off him, rather lovingly.
Tomo and Shannon followed Anna out of the room. Shannon had never felt more trapped within himself. His mother, Constance,
had arrived shortly after. Shannon didn't think he'd ever seen a women look more distraugt. The mother and Son had to sit in the homely consulting room with Anna as they disgused what was next. Shannon did not care, he was completly apathetic to the proceedings. A part off him greatly wishing that they were planning his own funeral.
xxx
Shannon was never sure how he survived the week leading up to Jared's funeral. Wherever he went, wherever he turned he was constantly reminded of the fact that he would never again see his brother or hear his voice. His death had made head line news. Newsreaders around the world thoughtlessly read the words on the autocue. Hardly caring for what they were saying. Their eyes bore into Shannon as their lips moved before the editor would cut to a montage of Jared singing and acting (the news stations seemed to like Mr. Nobody in particular).
Shannon had purposefully avoided the internet. If he had logged on then he would have - unsuprisingly - found that his twitter, emails, the thirty seconds to mars website had been flooded with tributes, fan's consolanses and people sending their love to Jared's friends and family. The Echelon of course were distraugt. The news was so sudden so unexpected that many had woken up, inncoently turned the breakfast news on before school or work to find that their idol, their rolemodel,
the singer of their favourite band had been murdered that very night.
Shannon had not left the house since they arrived in Los Angeles. The airports had been hell. Masses of people trying to talk to him Tomo and Constance. The same could be said for the plane journey. After spending an extra few hours at the hospital, of these hours Shannon remained slient not caring for what people were saying, the trio left for Cardiff airport for the next plane back to America.
Shannon ignored the paparazzi which swarmed outside his house, the house in which untill recently he had shared with Jared, he just allowed them to continue snapping at the door and their feeble attempts to question Shannon on "What was next for the band" or "How did his brothers death make him feel" some were quereing what happened that night. Even if Shannon were to answer those questions, if he were to answer honestly he would say "I don't know".
He simply sat in the living room (sleeping there some nights) half heartedly watching old films. He drank a lot more Alcohol that he previously did. There was something about the way the warm liquid slid down his throat and wached all thought away that comforted him. In those prescious drunken hours Jared was still alive locked in his room, writing songs or painting. But then Shannon would sober up and every thing crashed down upon him like he had just fallen down a massive waterfall. He would lay on the floor and grieve, crying until his throat was sore and his eyes held no more tears. He stayed like this for four days.
It was the night before the funeral. Shannon looked out at the sea thinking of how welcoming the prospect of diving into it and never again surfacing was. Shannon had not dressed that day nor shaved the living room was an explosion of rented DVD's and empty liquor bottles. It was like he had died with his brother, he was a ghost of the man he had been before,
now he was consumed by grief, he was empty inside a bottomless pit of sorrow.
The telephone rang just as Shannon was pouring himself a hearty glass of Whisky. As he had done with all previous phone calls this week, he ignored it. He had no desire to talk to anybody. After he had drained the glass the phone's monotonous ringing began again but Shannon did not change tack. This went on two more times before a furious pounded pelted the door. Shannon sighed as a voice could be heard through the letterbox.
"Shannon! SHANNON! Open up for christ sake! I know your in there! SHANNON! Open this fucking door before I knock it down!"
"Leave me alone Tomo...", Shannon replied from the kitchen.
"Shannon...", Tomo was slightly calmer now relieved to hear his friends voice, "Shann, please I can't bare to see you like this... please, no ones spoken to you all week... you could have been dead for all we knew", the last sentence struck a chord very close to Shannons heart
"I wish I fucking was!", he spat.
"Shann... please...", Tomo voice was thick with something, was it tears? Shannon exhaled loudly before dragging his feet towards the frount door. Tomo nearly fell through the threshold when the door was open.
"Shannon!", he cried before throwing his arms around his neck. He broke away and stared at Shannon. He was a mess: His hair was uncombed and his beard long and scruffy. He was in his drawstring pyjama bottoms and was rather skinny. "Shann...
you have eaten, haven't you?", Tomo's voice was full of concern. Shannon shrugged nonchalantly. Tomo shook his head
"Shann... Jared wouldnt've wanted this...", He kept his voice delicate.
"He's not here is he... so how the fuc-"
"-Shannon! Please, calm down! look... I'm staying here tonight - I don't care what you say - you need someone here!",
Tomo finnished with a small smile half expecting Shannon to flip out again, however his reaction was quite the opposite.
He slid down the wall and began to sob.
"I can't to it tommorow Tome, I can't, I just can't... I - I -",
"Hey... come now...", Tomo sank down beside him, "No one wants to go... I'd rather we just pretend that everything is ok,
but we can't... we have to do it, for him... we have to say goodbye...", Shannon nodded as Tomo wiped away the tears from his face with his sleeve like a mother with her hysterical child.
Shannon was glad to have Tomo in the house as he fell asleep. He had cooked one of his Croatian dishes and they watched a film together. Tomo was sleeping in the spare room, neither of them had even considered him sleeping in Jared's room.
Shannon hadn't set foot in there, it was exactly the same as it had been: lyrics pinned to the fall and paper strewn around the room, Pythagoras and Artemis on their stands, his easel in the corner and above all the wall which had photos stuck to it. The photos were from all different moments of his life, mostly of the band and the different counties they had toured.
Dispite all of this, Shannon dreaded what the mourning would bring.
Jared's body had been shipped over from Wales shortly after Shannon, Tomo and Constance had flown back to L.A. It now resided inside a herse which was parked outside Shannon's home. His coffin was adorned with flowers and a large flag that bore the traid and the words 'provehito in altum' was draped over the wood.
Shannon was inside with Tomo, Vickki and his immediate family. They were all dressed in formal balck attire. Shannon was sure that his brother would have been happier if they all turned up in jeans and t-shirts, Shannon held back a laugh at the idea of Jared turning up to his own funeral with is signature pomegranate mohawk, studded jeans and shreaded shirt.
The procession was very sombre and formal. Inside the funeral car was Shannon, Tomo, Constance and Ruby (Shannon's grandmother). They hardly spoke as they followed the herese to the church. This seremony was private but that hadn't stopped the people who had lined the streets outside the church with candles, flowers and banners to pay tribute and say goodbye.
The service was held by a friend of Jared's and dispite the dreadful occasion all was done to reflect the true Jared. Many people whom he had worked with gave speech's, even Colin Farell did. Many pictures of Jared surrounded the coffin and more tears seemed to well in Shannon's eyes the more he looked at them, instead he tried to avert his gaze to whoever was giving the speech
"...As all of us who were privallaged enough to know the true Jared, he was a kind, sensitive, funny man who bloody well knew how to have a laugh -" A few appreciative cheers ran out "- He touched many thousands of hearts aroud the world, with his music, his films, his voice and his creativity... I know that he will never be forgotten... and he will never fade away"
A noise was growing outside, Shannon swiveled his head to see that outside the doors the Echelon had stared singing:
"OoooOooO... Into the night..."
Shannon smiled, he couldn't think of a better way for the curtains to cover his coffin: The Echelon sending him off.
xxx
There was only one place where Jared's ashes could have been spread; up on the mountain where they had shot Kings and Queens, and that is where Tomo, Vikki, Constance, Ruby and Shannon were now congratgated. As the sun began to set Shannon picked up his guitar and strummed L490, it had always been one of Jared's favorites. Constance opened the lid on the urn and allowed it's contents to float away on the breeze.
Dispite the stillness of the nigh Shannon wondered how he was to carry on without his brother, he had been more than simply a brother, he had been a best friend, someone who shared such an amazing and magical expirence with. Even though had it not been for 30 Seconds to Mars Jared may still be alive, he doubted that they would be as close or they would have been as happy.
xxx
Another week had passed. The media fever of Jared's death had died down and many were starting to move on. Radios had developed a habit of playing 30 Seconds to Mars songs more frequently though, and Shannon had caught Requiem for a Dream being televisalised on ABC, though he had been unable to bring himself to watch it. Shannon was eating a little now,
but still drinkin - though not as heavy. Tomo had visited most days which prevented Shannon from slipping into the habits he had adopted a week ago.
It was early on monday morning when the phone rang. Shannon slumped off the settee after watching a re-run of 'Friends'
to answer it
"Shannon Leto...", He spoke into the reciver and heard a familiar voice in return
"Hi...Shannon, It's Anna..."
Anna?... Shannon was momentarily stupefied, the phone hovered around his ear.
"Shannon...are you there?", Shannon fell back to his senses
"Err, yeah i'm here... how did you get my -?", Anna giggled - cutting him off
"Your mother gave me your number... In the consulting room, don't you remember?", Shannon was stunned, he had no recolection of the event. That should not have suprised him though he had been in a complete apathetic stupor during those moments in the hospital, "Look Shann, I'm in L.A I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch... say 12:00?"
"Yeah... Yeah, that would be great!",
"Ok then I'll meet you at your house at 12!",
"Sure, see you then.", After exchanging goodbyes Shannon placed the phone down onto the reciver. A feeling that had become alien to him over the past two weeks began to creep through his body: Happiness. He guessed that Constance had given her his address, he smiled, his mother was always trying to get him to meet people, especially if they were female, he guessed that it got her down sometimes that she did not have grandchildren.
Shannon was standing in the mirror just before noon. He messed up his hair a little with his hands. He was wearing jeans and a long sleved black shirt with his beloved denim jacket over it. He nodded at his reflection before walking over to a door opposite the bathroom. He paused with his hand inches from the handle, he hadn't been in this room since...He pushed down and opened the door.
Jared's bed was still neatly made, his curtains were drawn open showing the wondeful view that Jared had of the sea and Santa Monica pier. Shannon went over to Jared's bed and sat down. His pillows still smelt of him. Shannon felt his eyes dampen. He picked up a disgaurded piece of paper of the floor and smoothed it out
Revenge
/]
[/One day I'll return the chosen one under God,
The Prodigal Son, Wrecking Havoke inside
And yes I will get my Revenge...
/]
[/One Life left to live To forgive, Make amends,
Wash away my sins Prepare for Judgment Only then will I get Revenge...
Shannon smiled as a solitary tear ran down his cheeck and splashed onto the creased paper. He walked over to Jared's song wall and pinned this new song up wondering why he hadn't seen it before.
A photo caught Shannon's eye. It was of him and Jared in China. Jared was pulling a ridiculus face and had made 'bunny ears' behind Shannons head who was pretending to growl at the camera, Tomo had taken the picture; his thumb was visible in the shot.
The doorbell rang, Shannon took the picture and gently placed it into his pocket. Just before he close Jared's door he took one last sweeping look at the room
"Goodnight Jay...", He whisperd before he slowly closed the wooden door.
After quickly scruffing up his hair again in the mirror he opened the front door. Anna was standing in the door way. She had a beautiful, yet simple, blue dress which complemented her slim physic. Her chocolate hair was down and slightly currled and she had very little make up on. She looked beautiful.
"Anna!", Shannon greeted before hugging her.
"Hey, Shann",
They stared at each other for a few minutes before Shannon guestured outside. They began to walk down the streets of L.A,
talking. It was a few minutes before Shannon realised that they had not made arangments on where they were heading.
"I know this great place to eat", He said pointing down a little sidestreet to indicate it's position, "I used to go there all the time with...", Shannon's voice faded away to nothing. Anna understood and did not press him, instead she walked down the side street with him.
Barley ten minutes later they were sat at a little two seater table in a small but pleasent restraunt having just ordered.
They were both deep in conversation, giving each other information on their lives. Anna was just a few years younger than Shannon, she has a younger sister called Elise and always wanted to work within the medical profession.
A silence lowered itself upon the two as their food was brought and they ate. There was a question that had been burining in him.
"What happened to that man, Jared's... killer... has he been sentenced?", Anna looked up from her feta salad.
"Harry Lyons?...The trail is still going, I think that he will get life though, I know the judge...", Shannon scoffed, seemingly thinking that the man deserved a far worse puishment.
"Why couldn't he have been tried in somewhere like Texas? I'd be able to see that bas - that man, pay for what he's done,
I could get revenge...", Shannon tried to control his anger.
"I know...", Anna whispered before placing her soft had on Shannon's, which had been hardened by years of drumming. As she moved Shannon caught a glipse of something around her neck. A tiangle with a horizontal line through it...the symbol for air... the -
"Triad?", Shannon said subconciously
"Huh, What?... Oh, yes", Anna giggled, "it's a sort of good luck charm... I always wear it, my sister made it for me.", She smiled. Shannon returned it. "She loves your band... I do too, she bought me two tickets to your show a few years ago... you were amazing!"
"Thanks... It was Jay who did most of the work though, he was a workaholic... My and Tomo tried to get him to just take a few years out but...", Shannon gave a small laugh, "A mule was less stubbon than him", Anna gave a sympathetic smile
"You both had such a special relationship... I saw it - that night", Shannon nodded, "He was one hell of a loved man, his memorial on Saturday... it was beautifull, what you said...", Shannon's lips curled as he thought back to the public memorial service, thousands of people around the world truned up to be in that areana, and thousands more had watched it on their televisions.
"... I'm gonna miss him, terribly.", Shannon looked into Anna's face his hazel eye's looking into her deep coffee brown ones. Shannons hand brushed the photograph in his pocket as he lifted his hand up to touch her cheek. He gave a soft laugh as he remembered the photo, "I just wish that I could see him again...but they say that there is a silver linning to everything." Anna looked momentarily confused as his fingers brushed her lips. Shannon leant forward across the table, his eyes gleaming
"What do you mean?", she asked
"I met you...", he whispered. And with those words their mouths met in to a delicate but passionate kiss. Evert thing eles dissolved around them and the only thing that exsisted was eachother.
xxx
It was late and the sun was setting causing Anna's face to glow radiant orange. She looked at the man who sat beside her.
There was passion in his eyes as he stared out to sea, his muscular figure becomming more silhoueeted each second as the sun sank below the horizon. He turned to look at her with a burning love in his eyes. A playfull smile danced across his lips before he pounced on her. They both rolled on the white sand, laughing.
"I really like you Anna", He said looking into her eyes.
"I really like you too..."
How strange, Anna thought as they walked back to Shannon's home knowing that they both had a long and happy lives together a head of them, that such a beautiful rose could grow in the most barron of wastelands...
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