FicWad

“Alright, Little One is Grace, Mikey’s over there next to Gerard, and I....I am the illustrious Frankie Iero!” Frankenstein proclaims, pointing to everyone, then to himself. Mikey laughs, and Gerard says, “More like the Lusty Frank Iero.”
“Hey, c’mon! The girls are good people!”
“More like flexible people,” Mikey comments. “Guh-ross!” Grace squeals, clamping her hands over her ears. “What’s gross?” asks a new guy, walking into the diner from the loose board. “Frank and his girls. Other Gerard, that’s Ray. Ray, that’s another Gerard,” Mikey says. “Hey. And yeah, Frank, you’re gonna end up with some sort of Godawful STD,” Ray replies. I zone out-you can guess how this goes, with Frank’s voice going higher while defending his multiple girls, Gerard and everyone making fun of him-when I realize Jim isn’t here.
I look over to Grace. “Did you see where the Other One went?” Grace thinks about it, then points to a door. “Thanks!” I tell her. Okay, let’s see, should I open the door, or just leap through it?
LEAP!

Jim looks up from his conversation with another guy. Wow. Okay.
The other guy is wearing, like, the most SHUT UP clothes ever. Gold short shorts (WANT), with a red tank top, and yellow and black tights. He’s also got on some roller skates and knee and elbow pads.
“Ya like it?” he asks me. He’s got a twang in his voice, some accent I can’t place. “Uh, Yeah! Where’d you get all that?” I ask, stepping forward. “Here and there. So ya inta clothes? It’s been ages since I could actually talk to somebody about all this, eh?” he says to me, ignoring Jim. Jim, in turn, glares at me. What the actual fu-
“Name’s Show Pony. Well, Jonah, if ya wanna be par-ti-cu-lar,” he tells me, offering a handshake. “You got any more clothes like that?” I ask him, accepting the handshake. Show Pony smiles, then asks, “Trans or Drag Queen?”
“Huh? There’s a difference?”
“Which way do you swing?”
“What does-Oh. Oh! I’m straight.”
I am a blithering idiot. Jonah takes his hand back and rolls his eyes.

Jonah offers to show me the rest of his stuff, and I wholeheartedly agree. Jim’s not too thrilled with me, though. He glares, then I see his lips moving soundlessly, pinging Lindsey.
I’m not even going to talk about the next fifteen minutes. They were Amazing. Clothes. EVERYWHERE. I found the best jacket ever, a black marching band one, with zippers all over it, Oh my God, it’s so gorgeous. I also get a yellow Watchmen shirt-what Watchmen is, I have no idea, but it’s probably cheery, judging by the yellow smiley face-with regular pants, and combat boots.
Best. Outfit. Ever.

“Hey, Jonah-”
Jonah shakes his head. “Dude. Don’t,” he says. “Why? Jonah’s your name, isn’t it?” I ask, feeling like a towering rube. “We all go by code names out here. The desert does things to people’s heads, if ya know what I mean,” Jonah says, twirling his index finger next to his temple. “So. Show Pony, huh?” I ask, packing in as much sarcasm as I possibly can. “Yup. Both’a y’all will need some, kay?” Jonah-oh, my bad, SHOW PONY-says. “So we just pick a name?” Jim asks. He’s been sulking. What is this guy’s problem? If Toto and him ever had a kid it’d be the most bipolar kid ever, no joke.
“Ayup,” Jonah says. Jim tilts his head to the side, thinking, then finally picks his name.
“Rocknrolla Sonata.”
Show Pony whistles. “Tall order. Cool name, yeah?”
Jim nods and smiles. “Yeah.”
I need a cool name too. I think hard, staring at the ground, because this seems important that I’m accepted into this group of Robin Hood and his Merry retards.

Frank storms into the room, fuming silently. Show Pony sighs, with a “Frank, if you made the switch to men, they wouldn’t be able to tease you.”
“No. I like my women.”
Show Pony laughs. “Allow me to introduce you two. Rocknrolla, this is Fun Ghoul. Ghoul, this is Rocknrolla Sonata,” Show Pony says, gesturing to Jim.
“Awesome name.”
Jim nods. I glower. Give me back my spotlight! Let’s see...hell, I’ll just pick something.
“Bulletproof Diva.”

Frank looks to me. “That’s your name?” he asks me. “Yeah,” I respond, feeling self-important. Then I feel awful. I mean, Jim was here first, so he should get a gold star, right?
“Bulletproof Diva and Rocknrolla Sonata. I like that. I’ll go tell the guys,” Ghoul says, heading back out, bad mood forgotten.
“Are you pissed at me?” Jim asks. “No. Why?” I reply. Jim shuts his eyes. Sighs.
Show Pony excuses himself.
“I Pinged Linds.”
“So? You gotta point?”
“Listen, Dex. Lindsey’s not the girl you used to know.”

I frown. “Like how? What happened?” I ask. Jim sways a bit, but then he just spits it out.
“Okay, like right after you left, Lindsey, like, kind of...lost it.”
Oh my God. With who? With Jim? I’ll kill him. Mine. Mine. Lindsey is mine.
“What?!”
Jim’s voice shoots up. “I don’t know! Something snapped and she was blabbering on about right and wrong, showing up to my apartment at two in the morning with blood on her face. Lindsey isn’t in Kansas anymore, and she’s done with all the bubblegum pink. She scares me a bit....”
I mull it over. Lindsey is no longer the slightly innocent girl I used to know. Well then.
“She sounds hot.”
“DEXTER! THIS IS SERIOUS!”
“I’m serious too, Brahski!”

Jim goes into a serious-Jim-means-serious-business-face. “She did time. They put Lindsey in prison, but she got out, somehow. Like, three months early, and I’m bringing her out here.” Jim looks at me, raising his eyebrows. Wow. Damn. “So you’re bringing me a sexy girl? I think you’re my eternal Brahski buddy,” I say, spreading my arms out for a hug. Jim shakes his head. “I’m bringing her out here so that she can look after you and keep you in line, because you never listen to me!” Jim hisses.
“You are failing epically to make this less kinky.”
Jim rolls his eyes. “How are you still alive?” he asks.
“I have skill. And looks.”
“Toto never fixed your nose. Don’t be so sure.”
I reach a hand to my face. Yup, my nose is still crooked. Hoorah.
“When’s Lindsey coming over?”
Jim smirks. “Tomorrow.”

Author's Note: I didn't update a lot recently, sorry. Been writing essays and at Band camp.