FicWad

Gerard held onto the thin chain in his tight grip. His tears fell and made soft little sounds bouncing off of the cold metal. The Dom grit his teeth and put the chain around his neck, letting the little locket fall lightly onto his chest. He was standing in the room again, the room that used to house his little brother. His scent still clung to the material of the sheets lay askew on his bed. Gerard lowered down onto the bed still gripping the frail necklace that had once fallen around Mikey’s neck. Tears continued to track down his face. He flopped back onto the bed his hair falling about him like a dark halo. He lay his arm over his eyes, just wanting to sink away and disappear. He would rather disappear than face the day ahead of him. He felt at home, and the only peace he had in a long while in Mikey’s room, being in that room he could fool himself into believing that Mikey was still here.

Hearing his name being called from downstairs, he stood up from the bed and brushed off his black tux, and straightened out his red tie. He glanced at himself in the mirror, his black hair was rough and uncared for, and his pale skin was paler than usual. He sighed, he wasn't sure if he could do this. Could he really walk up the stairs of that church and sit through that ceremony, with all of those people wailing and crying over the loss. Could he really watch them dig that hole and lower the coffin into the ground. He couldn't bear the thought, but he knew he had to; he had to keep everyone else strong by being strong himself.

He began his decent down the stair case and looked into the living room, he saw there was his mother holding his father and crying, on the couch sat Mr. and Mrs. Sanders, Frank seated just to the left of them, his eyes red from all of the tears that he had already shed, it was definite the this death had all shocked them, and that state the body had been found in.

The pale flesh was mangled and torn, loosely dangling from the muscle and bone.
The place where his eyes were supposed to be was now just empty, bloody chasms. His chest cavity was open for everyone to see the gourd hole his heart should have been in. his mouth open to scream his final scream. So much blood painted the blood around the small body.

Gerard shivered at the memory. His fists clenched at his sides as he bit his lip trying to restrain the tears in his eyes. He could almost feel a ghost of a touch on his shoulder, he knew it was just his memory of Mikey, but oh how he wished that it had actually been him there beside him. But sure enough when he turned to look into the hall behind him, it was empty, reflecting the feeling in his heart. Emptiness. It could break the strongest of people.
He continued down the stairs and circled into the living room, as soon as he had stepped foot into the room, he felt the anguish swirl around him, the emotions from all of the people pounding into his head. His heart clamped in his chest. He glanced over as he felt eyes on him, and his eyes met those familiar hazel ones that were now outlined with red. He held his hand out to the small form before him; as soon as that small hand clasped his he pulled him flush to his chest. He took comfort in the small form of contact. He felt the tears falling onto his jacket and slowly clawing their way through. It felt as though they burned him with all of the emotions he wanted to express but was unable to. He gripped the fertile’s hand and pulled him outside of the front door. If they didn't head off now then they would be late. He opened the door of the car for Frank, and waited for him to be seated before closing the door and getting in his side. He closed his eyes as the car roared to life. He knew that being in this car was uncomfortable for Frank, but Gerard just wanted to remember Mikey, and there was nothing quite that screamed Mikey like his car did.

As they continued along the water-covered tarmac, the silence was killing Gerard. He reached over and flipped the switch and let so far away by avenged sevenfold flood the car. He flinched at the lyrics, he wanted nothing more than to hold his brother in his arms, and the song was taunting him, reminding him how he had lost him. He had just let his little brother slip right through his fingers.

He glanced over and noticed that Frank was still crying silently to himself. He reached over to the fertile and gripped his hand in his tightly the other still firmly clasping the steering wheel. He smiled to Frank hiding how much he wanted to be the one being comforted, to be the one letting out all of the emotion, but no Gerard had to remain strong for those around him, he was not allowed to show any form of weakness in front of others. He would just wait till he was in the sanctuary of his room, with the door firmly locked and his favourite music blaring from the speakers, that is when he would let loose all of the screams he was holding pent up within him.

As they turned into the driveway that housed the large white building that Gerard dreaded. He let go of Frank’s hand and opened the door stepping out into the slight drizzle. Gerard envied the weather, it seemed that everyone was allowed to cry but he wasn't, he was missing the fairness behind this. He walked around and opened the fertile’s door and clasped his trembling hand aiding him out of the door, before closing it and heading inside. As predicted everyone there was in tears, Gerard kept up his emotionless façade and took Frank to a few open pews and took a seat. Draping his arm around the fertile waited for the processions to be over.

As they processions continued, tears cascaded like waterfalls from everyone’s eyes and soon it was time to head back out into the now pouring down rain for the final goodbye. Gerard stood over the coffin and knelt down, dropping the one perfect blue rose atop the casket. He placed his hand on the cold would he let one tear out to mingle unseen with the rain on his face.

He stood back up and gripped the fertile beside him’s hand and caressed the top of it with the pad of his thumb. He lent down and kissed the smaller man’s temple before taking one last look at the casket lowering into the soil.

He turned and walked away. Walked away from the pain. And walked away from the grace of a lost fertile.

“ Rest in peace David”