Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > "Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back."
I know its short, but I'll finish it later...I sowwy ): but some of you may have heard this song before, but I think it kinda fits this chapter. I'm not really a Lil Wayne fan, but this song is just beautiful to me. xoxo-Lexx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi1UunggOAs
Annelise looked at the razor and sighed. I can’t do this. Gee would be so disappointed if he saw the cuts on my arm. Oh but you can dear. One little cut and they’ll neeever know. It’ll be our little secret baby doll. You won’t let me have a taste? I do so love the taste of your skin. The voice was mesmerizing…how could I refuse? I grabbed it and started dragging the razor across my skin oh so lightly at first since I hadn’t cut in so long. I managed to make a bright red line, just a blood line I guess you could call it. I was disgusted with myself and dropped the razor like it was a hot poker. I hurried and got out of the shower and got dressed, wanting nothing more than to just lie in my nice, comfy bed and go into a dreamless sleep. I didn’t fall asleep right away; I actually wound up crying myself to sleep. The next morning was just hell. I was still feeling the headache from yesterday and dad and mom were going to be home in a few hours. Great my day was already looking up! I knew I could talk to Frank about anything and he wouldn’t tell a soul anything I told him; he’s the older brother I never had. I just knew he’d understand. We all came downstairs and looked through the fridge, pantry, and even the freezer. There was NOTHING to eat for breakfast so we decided to just go out for breakfast.
Hayley’s POV:
We all loaded up in Tierney’s car and went to town. First we just went through the drive-thru at McDonald’s and then we went to Starbucks for the best coffee in the world. We got some weird looks walking in Starbucks with McDonald’s but oh well. I just laughed it off and began looking at the menu. I looked at just the right time, and saw a faint red line across Annelise’s wrist when she picked up her coffee. She couldn’t have. I know she didn’t cut…She had admitted to me that she used to but she assured me that she stopped! Maybe she didn’t. Maybe it’s just a scar I didn’t notice before. I hope so.
“Hey Hayley it’s your turn order. It’s time to land your space ship back on Earth!” Triana laughed.
“Says the girl with a hickey on her neck.” I stole a sly grin at her, making her gasp and blush.
“It’s that obvious? Oh dear…Ray is so gonna notice and I’m SO gonna be in trouble!” she whined.
“Chill, just wear a hoodie and don’t draw attention to your neck. He’ll never know as long as you don’t make it obvious.” Tierney soothed her.
“Yeah, you’re right; thanks.” She smiled.
I couldn’t wait to get home. I have a bone to pick with Annelise. For her sake, I hope it’s a scar. I’d hate to have to tell Gee and Lyn-z…I can’t tell them though because Anne will never trust me again. UGH! We finally were on our way home from Starbucks and got back to Anne’s house.
“I’m going up to my room if you guys want to come? Or you can stay downstairs and watch TV. The cable people haven’t put cable in my room yet so if you want to watch TV, you’ll have to stay down here.” Annelise said.
I seized the opportunity and went upstairs with her. “So, have you been cutting again or is that a scar I didn’t notice before?” I rounded on her as soon as the door was closed.
“It’s nothing but a scar Hayley. I figured you would have noticed by now!” She laughed, but she looked slightly nervous. I knew she was lying.
“Stop lying! I know you’re cutting. Why? Just why is all I want to know. I thought you were happy here with us.” I could feel tears prick at the corner of my eyes but I wasn’t going to let them spill over.
“I can’t help it! I am happy and I’m SO scared that my parents are going to somehow get me back! I’ve been having nightmares ever since I’ve been here and I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT!” she screamed the last part, and collapsed onto her bed. I immediately ran to her and held her.
“It’s okay, I’m sorry. I love you I’m here for you, always. That’s what aunts are for. They can’t get you here, love. I promise.” I soothed her and eventually her crying stopped.
Annelise POV:
I can’t tell you how long I cried. Hayley was truly a best friend, no a sister, to me. I’m so pathetic and weak. I can’t believe I had a moment of weakness and attempted to cut.
“Please don’t tell Gee or Lyn-z….I would die if they find out!” I pleaded.
“Find out what sugar?” Gee asked from the door way.
Oh shit.
“Nothing daddy.” I smiled as sweetly as I could, hoping he’d catch the hint.
“Oh really? Nothing is what’s got you so worked up you don’t want me or your mom to find out something? That’s likely.” He smirked.
“Hayley, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. She slowly got up and they walked out of my room closing the door behind them.
A couple minutes later I heard someone else run up the stairs and my door was slung open.
“Dude what’s wrong? Gee and Hayley just came downstairs and Gee looked as if he was about to kill someone!” Ari nearly screamed.
“Oh it’s nothing. I don’t know what’s wrong with him…” I trailed off
“You’re lying. I can tell when you’re lying cause you suck at it.” Sam bluntly said. A look passed between Ari and Sam and suddenly they both lunged for my sleeves and yanked them back.
“No. You didn’t…please tell me you’re not cutting again!” Ari’s eyes welled up with tears, but she blinked them away.
“No, it’s not a real cut. It looks like she just dragged the razor over her skin without cutting. Am I right?” Sam looked at me with harsh eyes.
“Yes that’s exactly right. I’m sorry I couldn’t take it. I had a moment of weakness and it’ll never happen again, I promise.” I said.
“Okay good cause we love you and don’t want anything to happen to you. We can see that you’re loved here and you’re happy. That’s all that matters okay? The adoption is going to be legal in a few weeks and you’ll never have to worry about those demons again.” Sam wrapped me up in a hug and so did Ari.
I do believe I’m the luckiest person in the world. Or at least I thought I was until Gerard came tromping up the stairs.
“Get downstairs please. Lyn-z and I want to talk to you.” He said through clenched teeth. He looked as if he was refraining himself from saying something else. “Sam, Ari, your flight leaves in couple hours. Go ahead and tell Annelise good bye and Frank and Mikes are going to drive you to the airport.”
We hugged goodbye and they went to get their bags.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi1UunggOAs
Annelise looked at the razor and sighed. I can’t do this. Gee would be so disappointed if he saw the cuts on my arm. Oh but you can dear. One little cut and they’ll neeever know. It’ll be our little secret baby doll. You won’t let me have a taste? I do so love the taste of your skin. The voice was mesmerizing…how could I refuse? I grabbed it and started dragging the razor across my skin oh so lightly at first since I hadn’t cut in so long. I managed to make a bright red line, just a blood line I guess you could call it. I was disgusted with myself and dropped the razor like it was a hot poker. I hurried and got out of the shower and got dressed, wanting nothing more than to just lie in my nice, comfy bed and go into a dreamless sleep. I didn’t fall asleep right away; I actually wound up crying myself to sleep. The next morning was just hell. I was still feeling the headache from yesterday and dad and mom were going to be home in a few hours. Great my day was already looking up! I knew I could talk to Frank about anything and he wouldn’t tell a soul anything I told him; he’s the older brother I never had. I just knew he’d understand. We all came downstairs and looked through the fridge, pantry, and even the freezer. There was NOTHING to eat for breakfast so we decided to just go out for breakfast.
Hayley’s POV:
We all loaded up in Tierney’s car and went to town. First we just went through the drive-thru at McDonald’s and then we went to Starbucks for the best coffee in the world. We got some weird looks walking in Starbucks with McDonald’s but oh well. I just laughed it off and began looking at the menu. I looked at just the right time, and saw a faint red line across Annelise’s wrist when she picked up her coffee. She couldn’t have. I know she didn’t cut…She had admitted to me that she used to but she assured me that she stopped! Maybe she didn’t. Maybe it’s just a scar I didn’t notice before. I hope so.
“Hey Hayley it’s your turn order. It’s time to land your space ship back on Earth!” Triana laughed.
“Says the girl with a hickey on her neck.” I stole a sly grin at her, making her gasp and blush.
“It’s that obvious? Oh dear…Ray is so gonna notice and I’m SO gonna be in trouble!” she whined.
“Chill, just wear a hoodie and don’t draw attention to your neck. He’ll never know as long as you don’t make it obvious.” Tierney soothed her.
“Yeah, you’re right; thanks.” She smiled.
I couldn’t wait to get home. I have a bone to pick with Annelise. For her sake, I hope it’s a scar. I’d hate to have to tell Gee and Lyn-z…I can’t tell them though because Anne will never trust me again. UGH! We finally were on our way home from Starbucks and got back to Anne’s house.
“I’m going up to my room if you guys want to come? Or you can stay downstairs and watch TV. The cable people haven’t put cable in my room yet so if you want to watch TV, you’ll have to stay down here.” Annelise said.
I seized the opportunity and went upstairs with her. “So, have you been cutting again or is that a scar I didn’t notice before?” I rounded on her as soon as the door was closed.
“It’s nothing but a scar Hayley. I figured you would have noticed by now!” She laughed, but she looked slightly nervous. I knew she was lying.
“Stop lying! I know you’re cutting. Why? Just why is all I want to know. I thought you were happy here with us.” I could feel tears prick at the corner of my eyes but I wasn’t going to let them spill over.
“I can’t help it! I am happy and I’m SO scared that my parents are going to somehow get me back! I’ve been having nightmares ever since I’ve been here and I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT!” she screamed the last part, and collapsed onto her bed. I immediately ran to her and held her.
“It’s okay, I’m sorry. I love you I’m here for you, always. That’s what aunts are for. They can’t get you here, love. I promise.” I soothed her and eventually her crying stopped.
Annelise POV:
I can’t tell you how long I cried. Hayley was truly a best friend, no a sister, to me. I’m so pathetic and weak. I can’t believe I had a moment of weakness and attempted to cut.
“Please don’t tell Gee or Lyn-z….I would die if they find out!” I pleaded.
“Find out what sugar?” Gee asked from the door way.
Oh shit.
“Nothing daddy.” I smiled as sweetly as I could, hoping he’d catch the hint.
“Oh really? Nothing is what’s got you so worked up you don’t want me or your mom to find out something? That’s likely.” He smirked.
“Hayley, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. She slowly got up and they walked out of my room closing the door behind them.
A couple minutes later I heard someone else run up the stairs and my door was slung open.
“Dude what’s wrong? Gee and Hayley just came downstairs and Gee looked as if he was about to kill someone!” Ari nearly screamed.
“Oh it’s nothing. I don’t know what’s wrong with him…” I trailed off
“You’re lying. I can tell when you’re lying cause you suck at it.” Sam bluntly said. A look passed between Ari and Sam and suddenly they both lunged for my sleeves and yanked them back.
“No. You didn’t…please tell me you’re not cutting again!” Ari’s eyes welled up with tears, but she blinked them away.
“No, it’s not a real cut. It looks like she just dragged the razor over her skin without cutting. Am I right?” Sam looked at me with harsh eyes.
“Yes that’s exactly right. I’m sorry I couldn’t take it. I had a moment of weakness and it’ll never happen again, I promise.” I said.
“Okay good cause we love you and don’t want anything to happen to you. We can see that you’re loved here and you’re happy. That’s all that matters okay? The adoption is going to be legal in a few weeks and you’ll never have to worry about those demons again.” Sam wrapped me up in a hug and so did Ari.
I do believe I’m the luckiest person in the world. Or at least I thought I was until Gerard came tromping up the stairs.
“Get downstairs please. Lyn-z and I want to talk to you.” He said through clenched teeth. He looked as if he was refraining himself from saying something else. “Sam, Ari, your flight leaves in couple hours. Go ahead and tell Annelise good bye and Frank and Mikes are going to drive you to the airport.”
We hugged goodbye and they went to get their bags.
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