Categories > Books > Chronicles of Narnia > Restless Hearts
It feels like my heart is going to explode. How do I say this? God, I can’t. He knows something is up though. He keeps giving me worried looks, and I can’t blame him. I keep tripping every ten steps or so, I have no idea where I’m going.
“Are you ok? You don’t look so good, we can go back if you want,” Edmund said turning to walk backwards so he can look at me. Showoff.
“No I’m good,” I said quickly. This hike was a good opportunity to have a conversation. One that I really didn’t want to have. His eyebrows pulled together but he let it drop with a nod as he turned around again. Ok, I’m going to have to bring this up eventually. But how? I don’t know. I thought back to my conversation with Keri earlier today.
-Flashback-
“Ok so now it’s your turn to spill,” Keri said with a grin.
“Fuck I don’t know what happened. I was looking into rooms all down the hallway and I came up to a nice one. I was looking inside and that’s when he popped up. It turns out it was his bedroom and… well… that’s when shit happened. But I have no idea why,” I explained. I was seriously trying to think about how it started but… I just remember what his lips felt like on mine. Everything after that was clear though. Including the fact that I practically forced him into it. Poor guy was going to wait until marriage. And now I feel terrible. But he didn’t seem to complain…
“Well yeah. You two totally liked each other. I’m not surprised that when you realized it, it just happened… uh, do you know how old he is?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I groaned. It was the only thing I wasn’t happy with about this whole thing.
“I’m guessing not as old as you’d like?” she asked, giving me a sympathetic look.
“No, not really. He’s… 17,” I said.
“Oh! Well that’s not that bad. Peter told me he was already planning his birthday so he’s practically 18,” she said cheerfully.
“I guess so… still, makes me feel a little like a creeper,” I mumbled.
“Sooo? How did his underage body do?” she asked with a laugh.
“Oh god,” I whined. Gross. But I can’t lie, he was fucking amazing. He must have some sort of natural talent. Wonder if it runs in the family… I’ll have to wait until Keri finds out. And from the thoughtful look on Peters face as he left, it wouldn’t be long.
“Come on. You know you want to tell me,” she said in a sing-song voice.
“He was… Amazing. Dude, twice,” I said.
“Twice?” she asked confused. Then her face cleared and she gave me a knowing smile. “You orgazmed twice?” she asked bluntly… and loudly. I blushed and she roared with laughter.
“Bitch,” I said. Then, because she was totally right about me wanting to tell her, I continued. “But yeah. And even though it was his first time he held off for a long time on his…” I trailed off. Oh no. Keri stopped laughing at the look of horror on my face.
“Kristi?” she asked. “Dude what’s wrong?”
“He… I…” I couldn’t even form the words.
“What did he do?” she asked sounding a little harsher.
“He… came,” I whispered.
“Well of course he did but-” she cut off, realization dawning on her face. “You don’t mean-”
“Yeah. He fucking came inside me! Oh god! How could I not have remembered that until now?” I asked, starting to freak out.
“Oh god Kristi. Ok, it will be ok. I mean it might still not work, no reason to freak out until then,” she said trying to calm me.
“Fuck,” I whimpered clutching my stomach instinctually. “What do I doooo?”
“Tell him,” she said quietly.
-End Flashback-
I grabbed at my stomach again as the thought flew into my mind again. ‘Tell him,’ that was her advice. I guess he did deserve to know that there could be a problem; I still find it hard to believe that he doesn’t realize. He is from a different time; he might not even know how the whole thing works… that would be fucking terrible! I would have to have ‘the sex talk’ with someone I’ve already had sex with. Oh god.
“I wish you would tell me what’s wrong,” Edmund said quietly, breaking my train of thought. We had been silent for about five minutes now.
“I wish I would too,” I mumbled. He stopped suddenly causing me to run full into his back. I jumped back. Honestly his touch still made me tremble, the feel of his whole body pressed up against me…
“Then tell me,” he said turning to me. There was a hurt look on his face; he obviously had thought I had jumped away for a different reason. “Oh no, you did care. I should have argued more, or really it shouldn’t have gotten that far, I just-”
“Edmund,” I interrupted his rant. “I was the one that talked you into it. And no I don’t care about marriage, remember I’m from a different time.”
“You obviously-”
“Would you just shut up? I’m trying to tell you what is wrong!” I shouted. He fell silent immediately, and I felt horrible. I didn’t want to yell at him but I was still freaking out and I just wanted him to make this easier on me. “Ok I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spill some crazy on you.”
“It’s ok,” he said and stepped closer to me. He brushed my hair from my face and looked into my eyes. “But I want you to know that you can tell me anything. So tell me, what’s wrong?”
“I-uh… you came in me,” I whispered. He just stood there… looking confused? Oh my god, he really doesn’t know anything about sex!
“How do you mean? Forgive me, I don’t know that expression…” he trailed off thinking hard.
“Oh sorry,” I said as relief washed over me. Thank God. “It, um… means you orgasmed… in me,” I said slowly. He stood there still and slowly his expression cleared, he looked a little scared.
“Oh no. I didn’t even think about that. Oh god, how could I be so stupid?” he was starting to freak out, and that’s not what I need right now.
“I really need you to be calm right now. Because I have already been freaking out all day, and I am not about to stop,” I said, my voice was shaking and I could feel my panic rising again. His eyes snapped to mine again, and as I looked back I could see something in them change. He was a king again.
“There is no reason to fret as of yet,” he said, even the way he talked was different. But his strong, calm manner was really helping.
“Right, ok. There’s still a chance it will work out ok,” I said and took a deep breath.
“There is more than a chance. Even if you are with child,” he said confidently.
“If I have your kid then-”
“Then they will be my heir,” he said and pulled himself to his full height. “They would be a prince or princess and I would teach them everything I know so that one day they would take my place on the throne. Do not think for a second that I would forsake my own child.”
“I- I… ok,” I lamely came up with. His eyes softened a little and he stepped up to my side again and wrapped his arms around me.
“It will be ok. I promise,” he whispered into my ear.
“You’d better be right,” I muttered.
“I know, I know, or else you’d hurt me right?” he asked with a laugh.
“That’s right,” I said, laughing with him.
**
“So, how did it go?” Keri whispered to me as we walked behind Peter and Edmund through the entrance hall.
“Actually really well. He went into king mode and declared that he would ‘never forsake his child’ and that ‘one day it would take his place on the throne’,” I explained.
“Well that is… awesome. And king mode?” she asked.
“Oh have you not seen that on Peter yet? Yeah Edmund has this… shift in his eyes, and he goes all… leader. It’s super hot actually,” I said with a smile. She smiled back at me then looked at the boys in front of us.
“I think they’re talking about the same thing” she said. I looked and they had their heads close together and Peter had his hand on Edmunds back.
“I think your right,” I said as we all came to the throne room.
“Oh there you all are,” An annoying voice said, I looked over to see Susan bearing down on us.
“Oh wow I don’t think I can handle her right now,” I whispered to Keri and she gave me a look that said sorry.
“So,” Susan said and got in my face. “I heard what you did.”
“Susan,” Edmund said sharply.
“Shut it,” she spat at him. “How could you let this little tramp into your-” she was cut off by someone tapping her on the shoulder. She turned to find Keri glaring at her; Susan opened her mouth but never got anything out. Keri drew back her fist and punched Susan across the face. Susan fell over with a squeal and looked back up at Keri with fear and tears already spilling from her eyes. Keri stepped over to her side and crouched down so her face was a few inches from Susan’s.
“Don’t you ever talk about Kristi like that. Do we have an understanding?” Keri said quietly. Susan nodded and Keri rose and started for the door again. I saw Peter watch her go with a shocked expression and I wondered vaguely if he would be mad at her. I followed her out and found her stopped in the hallway as soon as she heard the door close she turned to see who it was.
“Fuck,” she grunted as soon as she saw it was me. “That hurt like a bitch!” She was cradling her hand and bouncing a little. I burst out in laughter watching her.
“That was awesome!” I said patting her on the back.
“My hand feels differently,” she moaned.
“Let me look at it,” A voice said from behind us. We both turned to find Peter standing with us in the hallway. I looked back to see that Keri looked a little worried.
“Ok,” she said quietly extending her hand towards him. He stepped over and took it gently and started inspecting it, she tried to hold back but she winced every time he moved a finger. I could see that every time she winced, pain shot across Peter’s face. How adorable.
“I think it’s sprained, there might be a fracture,” he muttered.
“What are you, a doctor?” I asked.
“I hoped to be someday, back in England I mean,” I said with a smile.
“Oh,” I said and smiled at the look on Keri’s face. Apparently that was the first time she had heard that.
“That was a very good punch,” he said quietly to Keri.
“You’re not mad at me?” she asked.
“Of course not, Susan was way out of line,” he said and ran a finger down her cheek. “And I am sorry for that” he added looking at me.
“You don’t need to apologize. It wasn’t your fault,” I said quickly. What was it with these people and apologizing for their bitch of a sister?
“Well she won’t so someone should,” he said before turning his attention back to Keri. I decided that I should go… they were getting a little gooey. In fact, just before I turned the corner I looked back to find them Kissing pretty fiercely. Nope, she won’t have to wait long for that one to be ready. As I thought that I had to force myself not to laugh, I shouldn’t be the one to ruin their moment twice.
“Oh there you are, I wanted to apo-” Edmund started as soon as I walked in my room but I cut him off.
“If you apologize for that bitch I will hurt you,” I said.
“Your right,” he said with a smile that I had to smile back at. He patted the seat next to him and I settled myself next to him. He put an arm around my shoulders and I but my head on his shoulder. It was really nice. I felt… safe. Well I had to admit one thing; this was probably the best guy I could have a pregnancy scare with. Wow I can’t believe I’m actually having one of those. It has to be one of the most nerve wracking experiences I have ever had, but with Edmund holding me it didn’t seem as bad.
“Are you ok? You don’t look so good, we can go back if you want,” Edmund said turning to walk backwards so he can look at me. Showoff.
“No I’m good,” I said quickly. This hike was a good opportunity to have a conversation. One that I really didn’t want to have. His eyebrows pulled together but he let it drop with a nod as he turned around again. Ok, I’m going to have to bring this up eventually. But how? I don’t know. I thought back to my conversation with Keri earlier today.
-Flashback-
“Ok so now it’s your turn to spill,” Keri said with a grin.
“Fuck I don’t know what happened. I was looking into rooms all down the hallway and I came up to a nice one. I was looking inside and that’s when he popped up. It turns out it was his bedroom and… well… that’s when shit happened. But I have no idea why,” I explained. I was seriously trying to think about how it started but… I just remember what his lips felt like on mine. Everything after that was clear though. Including the fact that I practically forced him into it. Poor guy was going to wait until marriage. And now I feel terrible. But he didn’t seem to complain…
“Well yeah. You two totally liked each other. I’m not surprised that when you realized it, it just happened… uh, do you know how old he is?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I groaned. It was the only thing I wasn’t happy with about this whole thing.
“I’m guessing not as old as you’d like?” she asked, giving me a sympathetic look.
“No, not really. He’s… 17,” I said.
“Oh! Well that’s not that bad. Peter told me he was already planning his birthday so he’s practically 18,” she said cheerfully.
“I guess so… still, makes me feel a little like a creeper,” I mumbled.
“Sooo? How did his underage body do?” she asked with a laugh.
“Oh god,” I whined. Gross. But I can’t lie, he was fucking amazing. He must have some sort of natural talent. Wonder if it runs in the family… I’ll have to wait until Keri finds out. And from the thoughtful look on Peters face as he left, it wouldn’t be long.
“Come on. You know you want to tell me,” she said in a sing-song voice.
“He was… Amazing. Dude, twice,” I said.
“Twice?” she asked confused. Then her face cleared and she gave me a knowing smile. “You orgazmed twice?” she asked bluntly… and loudly. I blushed and she roared with laughter.
“Bitch,” I said. Then, because she was totally right about me wanting to tell her, I continued. “But yeah. And even though it was his first time he held off for a long time on his…” I trailed off. Oh no. Keri stopped laughing at the look of horror on my face.
“Kristi?” she asked. “Dude what’s wrong?”
“He… I…” I couldn’t even form the words.
“What did he do?” she asked sounding a little harsher.
“He… came,” I whispered.
“Well of course he did but-” she cut off, realization dawning on her face. “You don’t mean-”
“Yeah. He fucking came inside me! Oh god! How could I not have remembered that until now?” I asked, starting to freak out.
“Oh god Kristi. Ok, it will be ok. I mean it might still not work, no reason to freak out until then,” she said trying to calm me.
“Fuck,” I whimpered clutching my stomach instinctually. “What do I doooo?”
“Tell him,” she said quietly.
-End Flashback-
I grabbed at my stomach again as the thought flew into my mind again. ‘Tell him,’ that was her advice. I guess he did deserve to know that there could be a problem; I still find it hard to believe that he doesn’t realize. He is from a different time; he might not even know how the whole thing works… that would be fucking terrible! I would have to have ‘the sex talk’ with someone I’ve already had sex with. Oh god.
“I wish you would tell me what’s wrong,” Edmund said quietly, breaking my train of thought. We had been silent for about five minutes now.
“I wish I would too,” I mumbled. He stopped suddenly causing me to run full into his back. I jumped back. Honestly his touch still made me tremble, the feel of his whole body pressed up against me…
“Then tell me,” he said turning to me. There was a hurt look on his face; he obviously had thought I had jumped away for a different reason. “Oh no, you did care. I should have argued more, or really it shouldn’t have gotten that far, I just-”
“Edmund,” I interrupted his rant. “I was the one that talked you into it. And no I don’t care about marriage, remember I’m from a different time.”
“You obviously-”
“Would you just shut up? I’m trying to tell you what is wrong!” I shouted. He fell silent immediately, and I felt horrible. I didn’t want to yell at him but I was still freaking out and I just wanted him to make this easier on me. “Ok I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spill some crazy on you.”
“It’s ok,” he said and stepped closer to me. He brushed my hair from my face and looked into my eyes. “But I want you to know that you can tell me anything. So tell me, what’s wrong?”
“I-uh… you came in me,” I whispered. He just stood there… looking confused? Oh my god, he really doesn’t know anything about sex!
“How do you mean? Forgive me, I don’t know that expression…” he trailed off thinking hard.
“Oh sorry,” I said as relief washed over me. Thank God. “It, um… means you orgasmed… in me,” I said slowly. He stood there still and slowly his expression cleared, he looked a little scared.
“Oh no. I didn’t even think about that. Oh god, how could I be so stupid?” he was starting to freak out, and that’s not what I need right now.
“I really need you to be calm right now. Because I have already been freaking out all day, and I am not about to stop,” I said, my voice was shaking and I could feel my panic rising again. His eyes snapped to mine again, and as I looked back I could see something in them change. He was a king again.
“There is no reason to fret as of yet,” he said, even the way he talked was different. But his strong, calm manner was really helping.
“Right, ok. There’s still a chance it will work out ok,” I said and took a deep breath.
“There is more than a chance. Even if you are with child,” he said confidently.
“If I have your kid then-”
“Then they will be my heir,” he said and pulled himself to his full height. “They would be a prince or princess and I would teach them everything I know so that one day they would take my place on the throne. Do not think for a second that I would forsake my own child.”
“I- I… ok,” I lamely came up with. His eyes softened a little and he stepped up to my side again and wrapped his arms around me.
“It will be ok. I promise,” he whispered into my ear.
“You’d better be right,” I muttered.
“I know, I know, or else you’d hurt me right?” he asked with a laugh.
“That’s right,” I said, laughing with him.
**
“So, how did it go?” Keri whispered to me as we walked behind Peter and Edmund through the entrance hall.
“Actually really well. He went into king mode and declared that he would ‘never forsake his child’ and that ‘one day it would take his place on the throne’,” I explained.
“Well that is… awesome. And king mode?” she asked.
“Oh have you not seen that on Peter yet? Yeah Edmund has this… shift in his eyes, and he goes all… leader. It’s super hot actually,” I said with a smile. She smiled back at me then looked at the boys in front of us.
“I think they’re talking about the same thing” she said. I looked and they had their heads close together and Peter had his hand on Edmunds back.
“I think your right,” I said as we all came to the throne room.
“Oh there you all are,” An annoying voice said, I looked over to see Susan bearing down on us.
“Oh wow I don’t think I can handle her right now,” I whispered to Keri and she gave me a look that said sorry.
“So,” Susan said and got in my face. “I heard what you did.”
“Susan,” Edmund said sharply.
“Shut it,” she spat at him. “How could you let this little tramp into your-” she was cut off by someone tapping her on the shoulder. She turned to find Keri glaring at her; Susan opened her mouth but never got anything out. Keri drew back her fist and punched Susan across the face. Susan fell over with a squeal and looked back up at Keri with fear and tears already spilling from her eyes. Keri stepped over to her side and crouched down so her face was a few inches from Susan’s.
“Don’t you ever talk about Kristi like that. Do we have an understanding?” Keri said quietly. Susan nodded and Keri rose and started for the door again. I saw Peter watch her go with a shocked expression and I wondered vaguely if he would be mad at her. I followed her out and found her stopped in the hallway as soon as she heard the door close she turned to see who it was.
“Fuck,” she grunted as soon as she saw it was me. “That hurt like a bitch!” She was cradling her hand and bouncing a little. I burst out in laughter watching her.
“That was awesome!” I said patting her on the back.
“My hand feels differently,” she moaned.
“Let me look at it,” A voice said from behind us. We both turned to find Peter standing with us in the hallway. I looked back to see that Keri looked a little worried.
“Ok,” she said quietly extending her hand towards him. He stepped over and took it gently and started inspecting it, she tried to hold back but she winced every time he moved a finger. I could see that every time she winced, pain shot across Peter’s face. How adorable.
“I think it’s sprained, there might be a fracture,” he muttered.
“What are you, a doctor?” I asked.
“I hoped to be someday, back in England I mean,” I said with a smile.
“Oh,” I said and smiled at the look on Keri’s face. Apparently that was the first time she had heard that.
“That was a very good punch,” he said quietly to Keri.
“You’re not mad at me?” she asked.
“Of course not, Susan was way out of line,” he said and ran a finger down her cheek. “And I am sorry for that” he added looking at me.
“You don’t need to apologize. It wasn’t your fault,” I said quickly. What was it with these people and apologizing for their bitch of a sister?
“Well she won’t so someone should,” he said before turning his attention back to Keri. I decided that I should go… they were getting a little gooey. In fact, just before I turned the corner I looked back to find them Kissing pretty fiercely. Nope, she won’t have to wait long for that one to be ready. As I thought that I had to force myself not to laugh, I shouldn’t be the one to ruin their moment twice.
“Oh there you are, I wanted to apo-” Edmund started as soon as I walked in my room but I cut him off.
“If you apologize for that bitch I will hurt you,” I said.
“Your right,” he said with a smile that I had to smile back at. He patted the seat next to him and I settled myself next to him. He put an arm around my shoulders and I but my head on his shoulder. It was really nice. I felt… safe. Well I had to admit one thing; this was probably the best guy I could have a pregnancy scare with. Wow I can’t believe I’m actually having one of those. It has to be one of the most nerve wracking experiences I have ever had, but with Edmund holding me it didn’t seem as bad.
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