(#) Lira_Snape 2006-06-17Interesting conversation between Harry and the Headmaster. You don't care for Dumbledore much, do you? ;)
Concerning the conversation between Harry and Percy, Harry is way too mature. Even taking into account his mental age of 18, no 18-year old has that much of a political and analytical mind! (Even if a lot of the thoughts are originally from Hermione, it's not wholly believable to me.) Otherwise, great chapter. And I'm really looking forward to whatever comes next. :)
Author's responseWell, I'd like to think a 19 year old who has been thinking aobut these issues for a year could come up with the ideas, but maybe I'm being generous And while I like Dumbledore as a character, no I don't like his actions
- It was a well written chapter, but slightly vanilla. It probably could have used a bit of Harry and Hermione interaction. Most of the time your excellent style is able to make me feel like I was part of the story. This chapter made me feel like I was just reading the a chapter where Harry exerts his will over Percy and Dumbledore. Hope that helps with future chapters. One thing that surprised me was that Pansy was still in with the DE faction. Did anyone clue her in that she was going to be sacrificed for the cause? Jim
Author's responseYes, Harry was certainly extending his Slytherin side in this chapter. And who would tell Pansy that she would actually believe?
- Another good part to an entertaining story. I'm a little surprised at Harry's conversation with Percy, though. It was so adult that I'm surprised Percy didn't get suspicious... although admittedly he's had a year or so to realise that Harry's eaither a genius or a very wierd boy. Still, the depth of the conversation was surprising in that it didn't twig Percy's 'something's not right' antennae.
Overall I'm really enjoying this story, and I look forward to the next part.
Author's responsePercy was a bit surprised, but since he would think that's how he thought as a Frist year, he was only slightly surprised that there would be another.
There should be 33 chapters, 32 going up to August before Fourth year
(#) ZanyMuggle 2006-06-17T,
I was surprised to see you write an HP "re-start" fic, as the genre is well trodden. Of course, you're never one to succumb to cliche, so it's been an interesting ride.
Most interesting, though, is that you chose to ignore the one thing all other "restart" fics have in common - Harry trying not to disturb the timeline overly much, and trying to keep Dumbledore and the other adults in the dark (e.g. trying to pass himself off as his younger self). Your Harry has been very overt, rather than covert, and really hit the ground running!
You've done an exemplary job highlighting the differences and similarities in Harry's major relationships, especially with Ron and Sirius. Whereas canon only hinted at Sirius' Azkaban-induced emotional immaturity, you've expressed it in a very believable, interesting way - his insecurity in his relationship with Harry.
In general, you writing style continues to be descriptive yet not verbose. I rarely skip through your paragraphs to get to "the point". Also, your characters are distinctive and unique, yet follow the guidelines laid down in canon - a true "must" for me in fanfics.
On a vaguely related note, I recently did a "DrT bibliography", based on the stories you have posted at FictionAlley. I grouped by 'universe' (my favorite is still the 'Six Virgins' universe!), then by date. You've been writing pretty much straight since 2003 (!), haven't you? I consider than quite an accomplishment, considering I've written two unfinished fics and a one-shot in the same time!
Author's responseI didn't know it was that fic a niche story when I started, honest! But if I had, I still would have approached things this way, as the other way just wouldn't work, IMO.
As it looks like my job in New Orleans is long gone, I will have to start fresh at another university, so after this story and possibly one more, it will be back to writing history instead.
I'm glad you've enjoyed my foray into this world
(#) ZanyMuggle 2006-06-17Crap! I almost never read other peoples' reviews, but I saw Red Jacobsen's, and I'd be remiss if I didn't agree with him. Your explanation of Percy is excellent, but Harry's navigation of Percy's psyche is even better!
Author's responseThanks! I probably did make Harry 'too adult', but it will tie in with some of Harry's tirades later on in the story
(#) whatareyouevensaying 2006-06-17Percy's interesting. I rarely read a story in which Percy isn't a Death Eater, a stupid git, or crawling back to his family on his hands and knees. It's nice to have someone take him seriously.
Author's responseTrue, although Percy does tend to be put under the Imperiusin my stories. . . .
- I was a bit surprised to read of the growing and overt relationship between Harry and Hermione in this chapter. Is this the first time we've seen such an acknowledged and outward intimacy between them? The platinum heart for Valentine's Day, her lying with her head in Harry's lap, the Gryffindor Chasers remarking on his 'cute' attitude towards her. The last I remember of any details on any actual romance between the two was way back when they both agreed to put it on hold until at least third year. Or maybe that was the sexual side of things only, and they're still happily going full steam ahead as more-than-close-friends?
Still, it's cute/nice to see. I'm looking forward to seeing more of the two - their supporting each other, Hermione taking maybe a more active role - as things heat up in the years ahead. If that's what you've got planned.
Nice treatment of Susan ('in fact she was friends with everyone'!). It's clever how you've placed her in that meta-Hufflepuff role within Gryffindor.
I'm still nervous about Harry placing all of his trust in Draco, putting him up for Minister in the far future, etcetera. Let's see if blood will tell. All he would need would be an enormous bribe, or to be convinced that the bad guys would win, and I reckon his true colours might prevail after all.
In so many stories I've wished Harry would walk up to Percy and tell him to shape up "because you're a Weasley". Good stuff to read here.
Albus still trying to put Harry with the Dursleys, even after experiencing his memories of the old timeline? baffled
Author's responseYou missed how Hermione treated Harry in the previous chapters? Esp. when he had the vision of Bella's boob job?
Albus knew in canon how Harry was treated (or should have), and in this story had stepped in to prevent the Dursleys from being reported for abuse. I see canon!Albus as sticking to plans long after all evidence points away from their being workable.
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