FicWad

Gerard rolled over expecting to find his wife’s body beside him. He forced his mind to work. Yes, he was sure last night when he’d collapsed onto the bed she’s been there. Now opening his eyes he saw he was alone.

“Shit.” He muttered forcing himself to sit up. A quick glace at the clock and he realized it wasn’t quite 8 a.m. What the hell was he doing up this early? A sound across the room explained why, Lindsey was getting dressed.

“Linds.” His voice was rough.

She turned to him, “What?”

He was still trying to clear his mind. "Uh, why are you up so early?"

She pulled on her tee shirt before answering, “I told you I’ve got a lot of shit to do today.”

Slowly the fog was lifting from his mind and he started to remember snippets from last night, “Hey, I’m sorry about..”

She cut him off, “Whatever.”

He rubbed his pounding forehead, “No, really. I’m sorry.”

“Drop it.” Her voice was angry. “So what we got into a screaming argument in front of people, right?”

He searched his mind. Yeah, he did remember they were screaming at each other but he wasn’t sure why. “Hey for the most part it was a nice Thanksgiving.” He said softly.

Lindsey glared at him. “Yeah, it was fuckin’ great. I enjoy my husband screaming at our friends to get out.”

Gerard’s eyes grew wide. “I did not.”

“Yeah, you did. You told them to get the fuck out.”

Memories forced their way through, “I was just upset because B woke up and was crying cause they were so fuckin’ loud.”

“Whatever." Lindsey said as she pulled on her shoes. “It was the perfect ending to the day.”

His head dropped to his chest. Once again they were starting a new day in anger. “Lindsey I’m really sorry. I don’t want to fight with you.”

She stopped in the doorway. When she turned back and saw him some of her anger faded, “I don’t wanna fight with you either, Gee.” She said softly, “But I don’t wanna live this way either.” With that she walked away.

“Fuck.” He got out of bed slightly stumbling intent on stopping her. “Wait.” he yelled out seeing her at the front door.

“What now?” She asked.

“We need to talk.”

“Gee we talk all the time but nothing changes.” Lindsey said folding her arms.

He struggled to find the right words, “Look, we just need some time alone. Let’s spend the day together.”

“I told you I have shit I have to do.” Her eyes narrowed, “Of course you don’t understand that, do you? What I do isn’t nearly as important as what you do.”

He knew this would lead into another argument. “I never said that. Okay, you’re busy today how about tonight? Mom’s here so we can get away for the evening.”

“If you mom returns.” Lindsey said, “She was pretty upset last night. Not sure she’ll wanna stay here tonight.”

“Fine then she can stay at Mikey’s with B. We’ll have the house to ourselves just like we used to.”

Lindsey’s eyes flashed with anger, “You mean before we had B?”

Again he knew this was dangerous territory. “No, that’s not what I meant. I just want us to spend some time alone. I’ll make us dinner, okay?”

“I’ll call you later.” She sighed.

Gerard moved towards her for a kiss goodbye but she pulled open the door and walked out before he could reach her.

*******************

Holly scooped another ladle full of mashed potatoes onto a plate and smiled to the woman standing before her. This woman, unlike most of the others, met her eyes.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Holly answered then looked around to notice that the woman and her daughter the last in line. At one point she’d been trying to count how many people had come through the line but when the number went over 400 she’d began to lost count. They had been serving dinner to the shelters guests for over two hours.

The woman moved slightly so Holly could place potatoes on her young daughters plate.

“What do you say?” She said looking down at the little girl.

The child looked up at Holly shyly, "Thank you.”

Holly understood the woman was making sure her child remembered her manners, “You are very welcome.”

The woman smiled slightly, “Never seen you here before.”

Holly sat the ladle down and stretched her tired arm. “This is the first time I’ve volunteered here.” She said softly. “I’m Holly.”

“Nice to meet you Holly. I’m Connie and this is my daughter, Alice.”

Holly smiled at the little girl. “Hi Alice.”

The child smiled briefly then looked down at her plate.

“So how come you’re here?” Connie asked abruptly.

Her question didn’t surprise Holly. She had worked at enough homeless shelters to understand that often the people there were a bit mistrustful of others. Accepting help was never an easy thing.

“I believe in doing what I can for others.” Holly answered honestly.

“So you don’t have to be here?”

This question did slightly surprise her. “No.”

The woman nodded slightly then motioned for her daughter to follow her. Holly watched them make their way into the large area set up with tables. Since many of those who’d first arrived had left they found spots at a table.

Jean, another of the volunteers, spoke softly. She’d overheard the conversation, “She was asking that because a lot of the workers here don’t chose to be they are doing community service instead of jail time.”

'Oh." Holly said slowly, “I didn’t realize that.”

Jean sighed, “Yeah, it’s kinda sad really. Lots of times you can tell they don’t want to be here and it shows in how they act. Guess you smile so much she figured you weren’t one of them.”

Holly shook her head sadly, “It’s hard to smile.” Her eyes looked over at the sea of mostly homeless people they’d served. “But I think it’s important they feel comfortable being here. Back in Jersey there were people who wouldn’t come to the shelter where I worked because they hated to feel they were accepting charity.” She sighed, “They would rather go hungry than accept help.”

“Well, my shift is about over.” Jean said, “But it was nice to meet you Holly. Any plans of coming back?”

Holly hadn’t given it any thought until now. “Yeah, I will. I’m not sure how long I’ll be in LA but I will come back again.”

Christa joined them. “Tired?” She asked while stretching out her arms.

Holly nodded, “A little. So can we help with the clean up before we go?”

“Sure.” Christa answered. “I told Ray we’d probably be gone most of the day.”

“Maybe I should call Donna to make sure it’s okay with her.” Holly said.

Christa shrugged, “If you want but I’m sure it’s no problem. You heard her before we left she was really looking forward to spending time with the girls. And by now I’m sure they are both napping.”

“True.’ Holly said taking a step back. “Okay lets see what they need us to do.”

“Holly?”

As they’d been speaking the little girl she’d just served had walked up to them.

“Yes?” Holly said smiling.

“Mama said I should ask you if you have a few minutes to sit with us.”

The question surprised Holly. “Oh.” She looked around.

Christa smiled, “Go ahead. There’s plenty to do. Talk a few minutes then come back into the kitchen.”

When Christa peeked into the dining area a few minutes later she saw Holly talking to the woman and her child. She could tell by the look on her friends face that whatever the woman was telling her was affecting Holly.

The shelters supervisor spoke softly to Christa. “I see your friend is talking to Connie.”

Christa nodded. “That’s okay, right? I mean she’s gonna help with the clean up but they wanted her to talk to them for a few minutes.”

“No problem at all.” The woman smiled. “It’s just that a lot of the volunteers don’t like to socialize with our guests. Some down right refuse to.”

Christa frowned, “I didn’t realize that.”

“They act like those we feed are beneath them. I like your friend, she’s a hard worker. Think she’ll come back?”

“Yes, I do.’ Christa smiled, “Knowing Holly I’m sure of it.”

************************

By three in the afternoon Gerard had given up on working on his comic. His head was still pounding and nothing he’d taken had given him any relief. He decided to drive over to Mikey’s to visit his mom and see Bandit.

Donna frowned when he walked in. “You look bad.”

Gerard forced himself to smile, “Gee, thanks ma.”

She placed the magazine she’d been reading down the table. “Okay, you look like shit.”

“Guess the girls are napping?” He said.

Donna nodded, “Yeah, both of them. So son, we need to talk about last night.”

Inwardly Gerard moaned, “Ma, I didn’t come over here to listen to you bitch at me.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.” Donna sighed, “But that’s what I’m gonna do. What happened last night?”

Gerard took a seat across from the sofa. “I had a little too much to drink, no big deal. It was a holiday. Everybody was dinkin’ some.”

“But everyone isn’t an alcoholic like you.” Donna said softly.

“I ain’t an alcoholic.” He answered angrily.

Donna was about to answer him with a truth she knew he wouldn’t want to hear when there was a knock on the front door. “That’s probably Holly." She said starting to get up.

“I’ll get it.” Gerard jumped to his feet then cursed softly at the pain that shot through his head. When he opened the door he saw Holly turn and wave to Christa as she drove off.

“Hey, Gee." Holly said breezing past him.

Donna who had joined them at the door smiled, “Holly you look frazzled.”

Holly grinned, “I am. We served over 500 today.”

As they walked in Gerard looked at Holly closely. Alicia was right the woman was awful thin, too thin.

“Come sit. Tell us how it went.” Donna said as they moved towards the sofa.

“I think I’ll take a shower first." Holly said looking down at her jeans that were splattered with gravy. “I uh was in the line of fire of a tub of gravy that overturned. Don’t wanna mess up Alicia’s furniture.”

Gerard sat back down and waited until Holly had gone down the hall towards her bedroom. “She’s awful thin, ain’t she?”

Donna took her original seat, “Yes, I noticed that yesterday when she only picked at her food. I pray there’s nothing wrong with her.”

“Me too." He said softly.

When his mother tried to steer the conversation back to last night he changed the subject. The last think he wanted to do was listen to his mom rag on him about his drinking. “Uh so me and Lindsey were wondering if you’d mind staying here tonight with B? We sorta want a little alone time.”

Donna nodded, “I understand that, I think you two could use it.”

Gerard smiled, “Yeah, I’m gonna make her a romantic dinner.” In his mind he was planning the menu.

When Holly rejoined them freshly showered with her hair still wet they were discussing the bands upcoming tour set for the New Year.

“All clean.” Holly smiled as she took a seat on the sofa near Donna.

“So is the place anything like St. Tim’s?” Donna asked.

“Much bigger.” Holly sighed, “So many people and it’s not the biggest in LA. I was talking to a woman who was there with her daughter. She told me the shelter that is closest to where she stays serves nearly 1000 people a day. She came to Helping Hands because that shelter never has enough workers and it takes hours to get a meal. I was thinking maybe I could go there and help out.”

Immediately Gerard asked, “Where’s it at?”

Holly told him the name of its location she’d learned from Connie.

“Not a good idea, Holly." Gerard frowned, “That’s a really rough neighborhood. I’m sure why there aren’t a lot of workers is because people won’t go down there.”

“Well then that’s even more of a reason for me to go and help out.’ Holly said. “They’ll need more help.”

It worried him that was what she’d probably do if he didn’t talk her out of it. “Look they have a lot of crime it ain’t a safe place.”

Holly was determined, “And there are people like Connie and her daughter who live in that area.”

“Who’s Connie?” He asked.

“The woman who told me about the place.”

Gerard frowned, “So this woman told you about the place trying to talk you into going there?”

“No, I asked her if she regularly came to Helping Hands. She said no, because it’s so far but today she was there because her daughter didn’t get much of a dinner yesterday and she knew we’d be serving Thanksgiving food items today.”

“You can’t go there, Holly.” He said roughly, “It ain’t safe for a woman like you.”

Holly crossed her arms in front of her, “For a woman like me? What does that mean?”

“You’re a good looking woman.” He said knowing that didn’t sound exactly how it meant it but unable to phrase it any better.

Her eyes narrowed, “What does my looks have to do with anything? That’s the stupidest” She paused, “One of the stupidest things you’ve ever said.”

Donna intervened, “Holly I think he means that a woman alone in a rough area could be a target. He’s just worried.”

“Well I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing that for a long time now. I’m not going to let fear for myself stop me from helping others.” She said in a determined tone.

He tried another track, “But you have Molly to think about. You’re all she has in this world.”

Holly’s face took on a look of sadness, “And she’s all I have. But I want her to grow up knowing that in this world there are others who need help and to not be afraid to offer that help.” She took a deep breath, “That’s what I taught Sonja. Don’t you remember she often went with me to St Tim’s?”

Both he and Donna did remember that. They both knew that at first Sonja hadn’t liked the idea but in time she had seemed to enjoy going with her mother to the mission.

“You raised her well.” Donna said softly.

Holly blinked back tears, “I tried my best.”

“And it worked.” Donna said reaching out to touch Holly’s arm in comfort. “Sonja was a beautiful person. I still remember those times both of you were out shoveling snow for the neighbors back home. And I remember how Sonja used to go to the grocery store for Mrs Innis."

Holly smiled, “Yeah, she did. She was a good girl.” Suddenly she stood. Talking about Sonja was so hard. “I’m gonna go lay down for a bit if that’s okay?”

“Of course, dear.” Donna smiled, “The girls are both in my room sleeping.”

Holly nodded, “Thanks so much for watching Molly.”

“It was my pleasure. She’s so smart. She was explaining one of the cartoons we watched earlier.” Donna laughed.

Holly grinned, “I’m sure she did.” She paused, “Will I see you again before you leave for home?” She knew Donna was leaving on Sunday.

“Actually I’m gonna be here when you get up. I’m staying here tonight so my son and his wife can have some time alone.”

“Oh." Holly said looking over at Gerard, “That’s good.”

He nodded, “I’m planning on making dinner tonight. Me and Linds haven’t had any alone time for months.”

Holly smiled, “Make her something good and don’t forget candles.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I’m gonna do it up right. Best china and candles.”

When he heard Holly’s bedroom door close he spoke softly, “Ma she really can’t go down to the shelter. It’s like a war zone.”

Donna sighed, “You know Holly. That won’t stop her.”

He sat back rubbing his forehead, “Damn infuriating woman.” He added softly, “God did you see how exhausted she looks?”

“I noticed.” Donna frowned, “She pushes herself too hard. She always did. Remember when you first asked me about her?"

He nodded.

“I told you then she has a kind heart.”

“And you said the world would be a better place if there were more people like her.” Gerard added.

Donna nodded, “Yeah, I did and I meant it.”

************************

Hours later Mikey walked into the kitchen and smiled. “What smells so good?”

Alicia grinned, “Me? I got some new perfume today.”

He threw down his messenger bag, “Uh I’m sure you did. What else did you buy?"

“Just a few things." Alicia said as she stirred the stew.

Mikey walked over to peer over her shoulder. “Where is everyone?”

“Out on the patio. Your mom and B are staying here tonight.”

“Shit.’ Mikey said, “So she won’t go back to Gee’s because of last night? She’s still pissed at him?”

“No, Holly told me he was hear today talking to his mom. They are staying because Gee and Lindsey wanted some alone time.”

“Oh” Mikey smiled, “Well that’s good. So did you make the stew?”

Alicia laughed, “I wish I could take credit but Holly did. Now go tell everyone it’s time to eat.”

***********************

By 10 o’clock the candles had burned down and gone out. Gerard sat at the table looking at the good china lost in thought. When he’d talked to Lindsey earlier she said she’d be home by eight.

He pulled out his cell and called her number.

“Yes?” She answered.

“Uh where are you?”

“I’m finishing up some work.” Lindsey answered vaguely.

“You said you’d be home by eight.” He tried to keep the anger out of his voice.

“I said I’d try.” She reminded him.

“I made dinner.” He said softly looking across the table. “Even got out the good dishes.”

Lindsey sighed, “I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t sure what she meant. “So are you gonna be home soon?”

“I don’t know, Gee.” She disconnected.

“Fuck.’ He threw his phone down. How stupid to have thought this was a good idea. Pushing back from the table he moved towards his study intending to work on his latest comic. However, he stopped to pour a drink on the way.