FicWad

A/N All of Kurt's Chapters are written by my good friend Liz! She doesn't have a ficwad, but you can find her on tumblr at http://someonesshadow.tumblr.com enjoy!


I seem to be receiving so many funny looks today. Well, funny in the sense that they are not the usual glares of utter contempt I get for being gay and not at all attempting to hide it. It makes me wonder, but only a little. My mind would rather go back to yesterday.

Just the thought of yesterday, and it's like I'm on top of the world.

I'm walking to French and I get the same confused look from my best friend, Ryan. "What?" I ask him pointedly.

"What are you so happy about?"

Really? That's the big, confusing detail that has everybody staring? "It's not unusual for someone to be in a good mood," I reply with a scowl.

"For us it is," Ryan says back. And when I think about it, he has a point. We've been taking all this abuse from practically everyone since coming out, one of several things we have in common.

From the beginning, we've only had each other to turn to. Even after I joined Glee, he's still been my best friend. He gets it. All the gay-bashing, name-calling, locker-shoving hell. He's been through it all with me and I should probably be more upset about it than thankful. But I am thankful. I can talk to him about anything that happens. Whatever does, he's the first to know, even before the Glee girls, whether it's good or bad.

I guess it's only fair that I share my news with him, too.

"Okay, but I don't want this to go spreading around," I tease, pulling him aside so as to not block the hallway. He prompts me to continue with interest. "Remember when I told you about our competition for Sectionals? The all-male academy with the a capella choir? Well, I paid them a little visit yesterday to see if they were any good."

"Spying on the competition? I wouldn't have pegged you as the cheating type," Ryan comments, a knowing smirk playing on his face.

"Well, normally I'm not, but considering the circumstances..." I joke. He knows fully well about the spying incidents from last year, revolving around one Jesse St. James, and my beliefs on the matter. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but the other boys in Glee were giving me such a hard time the other day that I would've done anything to get out of there, even though I was well-aware that they were only kidding around. "Anyway, I show up and not long afterward, I meet someone. One of the students there, and very good-looking, if I do say so myself."

"Ah-ha. Does this someone have a name?"

"Blaine. He's one of the sweetest people I've ever met. We talked after the Warblers' performance, and it turns out that he is, in fact, gay. And before you ask, he has an equally sweet, equally attractive, equally gay cousin named Brendon. I have both of their numbers. Maybe not in a dating context, for now, and who knows where it could go? But..."

"But...?"

I sigh. "They're both in the Warblers. And you know how that would go over with New Directions if I started to go out with either of them."

"Just because you can't do anything doesn't mean that I can't," Ryan shrugs, and I nudge him playfully in response.

"I'd have to introduce you first!"

"Touche."

The warning bell rings, and I bid him goodbye as I continue on my way to French. Nothing could possibly bring me down today.





Well, that turns out to be a lie.

Throughout the day, I've been getting random text messages from Blaine and Brendon with just one word: courage. The message is innocent enough, and as strange as it is to admit, it really does help. I had just gotten another from Blaine when suddenly I had my iPhone slapped out of my hands and I get shoved into a locker. I look back at the offender.

David Karofsky, the one I told them about, stares back at me.

Maybe it's time I take their advice. I run after him with all the courage I can muster. I'm going to need it.





No.

No, no, no.

It is not supposed to end like this.

I feel like I can't move, sitting there on the floor in shock, not even registering that I was there or the tears streaming down my face. He just kissed me without warning. David Karofsky just kissed me, and he thought I would let him.

Hell no.

I feel violated.

I need... someone. I need help. But who can I talk to?

Ryan. I can talk to Ryan.

And maybe Blaine or Brendon can tell me what to do next. They're the ones who gave me the advice in the first place.

My phone... still in the hallway. Right.

With trembling hands, I push myself up, cursing myself for letting my fear show. Nobody is supposed to push the Hummels around.





Class is in session, but right now I could really care less. At least I find my phone. It's still on the floor, kicked to the side a few feet away from where it fell, but no worse for wear. Thank goodness for the little things. I unlock it and the text from Blaine lights up in my face.

Courage.

My airway constricts at what a horrendous failure it was.

I hit "reply".

Call me when you get out of class. We really need to talk. --- Kurt

I send a similar message to Ryan, telling him to come find me as soon as possible. I can't decide what to do next.

Well, I've already missed class. No one will mind if I don't show up again until Glee practice. I curl up next to the lockers on the floor, leaning into the cool metal. Somehow, the locker surface that's given me so many bruises is soothing.





"What the actual fuck." I pulled Ryan into an empty classroom and told him about what just happened. He's almost as surprised as I was. Almost.

"I don't want to out him, but I don't know if I can face him again," I continue shakily. I can still feel the echo of his lips moving on mine, and it's not at all pleasant. I resist the overwhelming urge to vomit. "At least, not alone. I don't know what possessed me to go after him in the first place. If I just kept my head down--"

"No," Ryan interrupts. "What's done is done, and if you regret it, then you're not who I thought you were. Don't be such a girl about it. And don't pretend like it wasn't great to fight back for once."

He's right. "I guess so..." I allow a grin. It was pretty nice to have the upper hand, even if only for a moment. The thought is a welcome distraction.

As he's about to continue, my phone buzzes in my pocket. Blaine. Ryan sighs with annoyance when I pick up, moving to an empty desk to give me space while we talk. "Hello?"

"Hey. I got your text. What's up?"

"How long do you have?"

"Uh... I have a free period..." Blaine answers nervously.

"You're not skipping class just to talk to me, are you?"

"Maybe." I sigh. I don't want him to go through that kind of trouble. "Well, I figure you wouldn't ask unless it was important. Besides, you're one to talk."

"I'm in mental distress. I have an excuse."

"What happened?"

"Well..." Suddenly, I don't know if I should be telling him this. It's personal, and I barely know him.

"Take your time."

I think I can trust him. "I did what you and Brendon said. I stood up to that Neanderthal I told you about." Ryan turns to look at me, because now I'm talking to a potential date. I roll my eyes and focus on the task at hand.

"Okay. And how did that go?"

"Not... not so well, to be perfectly honest."

"Did he hurt you?"

"Well, no. And yes. It's a complicated situation."

"What exactly did he do?"

"He kissed me." Silence on the other end. "My thoughts exactly."

"Are you okay?" he asks after a moment.

No. "It's not the worst thing he's done; I'm fine."

"Are you alone? Does anyone else know?"

I breathe. He seems like he knows what to do, which is exactly what I need. "Yeah. I told my friend Ryan. He's here."

"And single!" he shouts from a few feet away.

Blaine chuckles on the other end. "Well, it's good that you have someone you can trust. But it sounds to me like you need to confront this bully of yours again. Maybe if he can come to terms with his feelings, he'll stop bothering you."

That... actually makes sense. "I don't know if I can," I confess to him. Ryan pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Would it be better if I went with you?" Blaine offers. I can't tell if he's being serious or not.

"That would be pretty nice, actually," I reply quietly. "But you really shouldn't. You're already too involved in my mess. I don't want you to get hurt, either."

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Dalton has a rather generous lunch break, so would it be alright if I go visit you tomorrow?"

"Sure. That'd be great," I say with a bit more excitement than is probably necessary. "Text me when you get here. And you'd better not be skipping school for me again, mister," I tease. "I will not be held responsible for any resulting academic failure. If you land yourself in detention, it's your own fault."

Blaine laughs. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye." The line goes dead, and I turn back to Ryan. "Looks like you might get to meet Blaine after all."





My iPhone buzzes right as the lunch period starts the following day. "That'll be Blaine. I'll go get him. You coming with?" I ask Ryan, already making my way to the front desk. I'm a little nervous to go see Blaine, and I really hope we don't come across anyone else in New Directions. If they found out I was "fraternizing with the enemy", I'd never hear the end of it.

He shrugs. "And miss lunch sitting by myself?" Such a kidder. I roll my eyes. "Shit's about to go down. And if he's as cute as you say, then I have every reason to be there."

"Hey, strictly business," I remind him with a scowl. "He's only here to talk to Karofsky. Besides, he's in the Warblers."

"And I said yesterday: just because you can't--"

"Doesn't mean you can't, I get it," I snap. God, I sound pathetic. "I shouldn't be getting so worked up over this," I sigh. "He's just a boy."

"And what Karofsky did was just the biggest mindfuck you've ever experienced. If he's everything you say he is, then you're not really blowing things out of proportion."

Especially considering how lonely both of us have been, being the only gay guys in the school and neither of us being the other's type.

"Yep, definitely not blowing things out of proportion."

We spot Blaine speaking to the secretary in a stereo-typically charming manner. He turns to look at us and waves enthusiastically, bidding the secretary goodbye and walking over to us. "Hey, Kurt. I'm guessing this is Ryan?"

"That would be correct," he answers, holding out a hand to shake. "You must be Blaine. Kurt told me about you."

"Nothing bad, I hope," Blaine chuckles.

"Nothing bad to tell," I grin. "Shall we?"

Considering the gravity of the situation we're about to face, I think we're all a little too calm.





"That's him," I say tensely, pointing out Karofsky on the staircase. Ryan glares at him while I keep my gaze steadily trained on the floor out of habit, as if he wouldn't see me if I didn't see him.

"I got your back," Blaine assures me, walking right up to him. "Excuse me?" he greets politely.

Ryan and I exchange a glance: is he for real?

"Hey, lady-boys," Karofsky returns icily. He looks between the three of us. "What's the matter, Hummel, is Ross not enough for you anymore?" I purse my lips, but don't dignify this with a response. I can never get it through their heads that Ryan and I aren't dating.

If Blaine is at all shocked, he does a very good job of hiding it. "We'd like to talk to you about something," he continues in the same leveled, gentlemanly tone. How does he even manage that?

"I gotta go to class." Karofsky brushes him aside and walks past, and all I can think is that he has mercifully done no more than that.

"Kurt told me what you did," Blaine points out, and he instantly has the bully's attention.

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?"

"Oh, don't play dumb," Ryan scoffs. "We all know. What's the point of hiding it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Karofsky says quickly, eyes darting around for any sign of anyone overhearing.

"You kissed me," I supply helpfully. Well, loudly and full of spite. He's panicking, dammit, and some revenge sounds a little nice right now. I see him wince and feel a little taller.

"It seems like you're a bit confused, and that's totally normal," Blaine tells him calmly. Karofsky looks like he just wants to disappear, and tries to retreat. "Look, this is a very hard thing to come to terms with and you should just know that you're not alone."

That's when he snaps. "DO NOT MESS WITH ME," he growls, shoving Blaine right up against the railing and surrounding fence. He looks so scared.

They both do. And Blaine doesn't deserve that.

"You've got to stop this!" I push Karofsky away with strength I didn't really know I had. Both Ryan and I stand in front of Blaine defensively. We can face whatever Karofsky has to dish out, or at least that's what I make sure I look like.

He sees that he is outnumbered, and walks away without another word.

I let my false confidence fall and sit down on the stairs, leaving space for Ryan to join me. "Well, he's not coming out any time soon," Blaine quips casually. As if that didn't just happen. As if I didn't see the fear in his eyes. But I don't comment on it, because there was no justice today. "Hey, what's wrong? Why are you so upset?" He sits on my other side, clapping a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Why do you think?" Ryan responds. I sigh. He's being bitchy again.

"Because," I answer, "until yesterday, I had never been kissed. At least, not one that counted."

Ryan glares as Blaine chews his lip helplessly. I don't bother to break the silence. "Come on," Blaine eventually says. "Let's get some lunch. My treat."

We follow him down the stairs heavily, because this whole thing turned out to be a massive failure. There's nowhere to go from here, because apparently this is one thing that Blaine doesn't know how to fix.

But he can. One move from him, and he can make it all better.