FicWad

My Friend, My Lover
Chapter 17: Thwarted

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The next day, Jean was an in good mood. After her talk with Ororo last night, she had come to a few major decisions. And like the decision to ask Scott to be her lover, it was not one she took lightly. It was just a matter of not giving into her old uncertainties.

For the most part, few took note of Jean's mood since they were preoccupied with the development between Logan and Ororo. It was something only Scott and Jean knew the full story of, but the others were in so much shock that they were walking around dazed for the better part of the day.

Evan, especially, was affected by this since Ororo was his Aunt. But in seeing how happy she was with Logan now that they were 'involved,' he was generally supportive...Even if he was a bit unnerving.

For Jean, however, her day focused entirely on carrying out her decision. She was going to ask Scott Summers to the Sadie Hawkins dance. She wanted to get these feelings out for once. She was through holding back. As important as their friendship was, they owed it to themselves to see how deep their connection was.

She planned to meet up with Scott during lunch where she hoped to make her move. She was walking with Kitty, feeling confident, yet petrified of what she was about to do. But the sooner she got it over with, the sooner she could deal with the aftermath.

"So, like, why the good mood today, Jean?" asked Kitty curiousl.

"Oh, no reason," shrugged Jean, "Just having a good day, that's all."

"Yeah, sure," said Kitty, completely unconvinced, "This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the Sadie Hawkins dance would it?"

"Now why would you think that?" asked Jean, letting out a mock laugh.

"Just going with logic here, Jean. After all, it is this Friday. And last I checked, you're still single and you could, like, totally go with any guy you want!"

"Thanks for your vote of confidence, Kitty. But there's only one guy I want to ask."

Kitty couldn't help but smile. It seemed Jean was finally ready to come clean with Scott. And in her mind, it was about time. While it didn't resolve some of the ongoing mysteries about how she and Scott had been acting, it did raise a few interesting questions.

"Well, good luck, Jean!" said Kitty as they parted ways, "I've gotta go meet Lance. I think he's finally ready for a little heart to heart as well. See ya!"

"Yeah, see you."

With Kitty off to find her man, her path was clear to meet up with Scott. And whatever happened next was completely up in the air.

As usual, she found Scott eating at an outside picnic table with Kurt, Evan, and Bobby. They all seemed in high spirits. It was just a matter of getting a private word with him.

"I'm telling you, Scott! I don't know how I'm going to keep my appearance from Amanda!" exclaimed Kurt as they discussed his looming date with Amanda Sefton.

"Kurt, will you relax, man? You're stressing over nothing," said Bobby, rolling his eyes.

"Easy for you to say! Jubilee knows that you're a mutant! But Amanda..."

"Hey, try not to worry too much about it," encouraged Evan, "Just do the glove thing like we told you. Say you got burned or something doing yardwork. And if you get a chance to let her know, just stay cool and don't panic."

"But vhat if she vant's to kiss or something?" said Kurt, still nervous at where tomorrow night may lead.

"If it happens, it happens, man," said Scott, "Just don't be afraid. She likes you and you like her. Stick with that and I think you'll both be just fine."

"I hope you're right, guys," said Kurt letting out a deep sigh, "So vhat about you, Scott? Has anybody asked you yet?"

"Yeah, man! I'll bet that since you're single now, you've got the girls lined up around the block!" said Evan, giving his older friend an encouraging punch in the shoulder.

Scott blushed at his works. But the truth was he had avoided being asked. In the back of his mind, he was hoping that Jean would come around. Sure it was wishful thinking, but it couldn't hurt to leave the possibilities open.

"Actually...No one's asked me yet," said Scott.

"What?! Get outta town!" laughed Bobby, "You? Without a date? Come on, I've seen the way girls look at you man. You should be beating them off with a stick!"

"I've just been kind of busy, that's all," shrugged Scott.

"Right," said Evan, not believing that for a second, "You wouldn't be stalling now, would you?"

"Stalling?" said Scott incredulously, "Why would I be stalling?"

"Oh, I don't know," said Kurt with a suspicious glance, "Maybe because you're hoping a certain redhead will ask you instead of one of the many girls I'm sure vould love to take a shot at you!"

"Guys, come on! Do we really have to have this argument again?" said Scott, maintaining his ambiguity.

"Don't change the subject this time, Scott. You can't avoid this forever," said Bobby.

"I'm not avoiding anything, Bobby."

"Yeah, and I don't know who Tony Hawk is," scoffed Evan, "Seriously Scott, just fill us in already. It couldn't be worse than finding out my Aunt's now involved with Logan."

"Oh man, I'm NEVER going to forget that look on your face from this morning!" said Kurt, breaking out into a fit of laughter.

"Don't even try it, fuzz boy!" scorned Evan, "We're focusing on Scott here and I think he owes us..."

Then suddenly, Bobby cut him off as a new presence approached their table.

"Dude! Here she comes!"

Scott's attention was drawn to the approaching redhead that was coming his way. The young man's nerves tensed as he saw that subtle smile on her face that he had so often been drawn to. She was looking right at him. She clearly had something to say. But what?

His eagerness grew and the other boys starting to snicker. Then suddenly, a new presence cut in before Jean could get close and drew Scott's away in an instant.

"Hey Scott," said Taryn, the girl who had broken up with him over a month ago.

"Oh, uh...Hey Taryn," said Scott, anxious about the sudden appearance of his ex.

Jean Grey froze as she saw her supposed friend cut into the moment of truth. She had been ten measly feet away...Only to be shot down by Scott's ex-girlfriend. She couldn't believe it. What was going on here? Didn't Taryn break up with him? Why was she talking to him again?

"Um...You got a minute?" she asked, sounding serious and anxious, "I really need to talk to you about something."

"Uh, sure," said Scott without really thinking, "What's going on?"

"It's...Sort of private," she told him, "Maybe we could..."

"Oh yeah. Of course," said Scott, picking up his things and following her towards a secluded area near the library building, "I'll see you guys later."

"Ja...Later," said Kurt, confused over what had just happened.

Bobby, Kurt, and Evan exchanged looks. They were just as bewildered as Jean. But they all just shrugged and began chatting under their breath while Jean stood lost in a daze. She had planned to ask him. She was determined to ask him. Then this had to happen.

She wasn't sure what was going on, but she was determined to find out.

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Scott and Taryn met up behind the library where few people passed by during lunch. Wanting to have some privacy, Taryn kept her eyes open for unwanted observers. Yet despite her caution, she didn't see Jean standing just around the corner spying on them, using the advanced sneaking skills she learned in the Danger Room to stay undetected.

Jean knew this was wrong. She shouldn't be spying on her best friend. But she just had to know what was going on.

"So, um...What's going on?" asked Scott, still feeling awkward, "How have you been?"

"Okay for the most part," she answered, not sounding like her usual upbeat self, "Been doing a lot of thinking though. Mainly about us."

"Oh. Yeah...Us. I thought we were over?"

"I thought so too, Scott. But now, I'm not so sure."

Upon hearing this from afar, Jean tensed up. It was as if somebody had knocked all the air out of her lungs. This couldn't be happening. She broke up with him. Why was she doing this now?

Scott seemed equally confused, but he listened on.

"You see..." she began, "Over the past month, I've I had some time to reflect on what happened between us. And in that time, I've also seen a pretty significant change in you...A change I don't entirely understand."

Scott held back his blush. There was a very good reason why he was acting like he had. Constant sex with Jean will do that to a guy. But he kept that to himself.

"You seem so much more relaxed, balanced, and poised. I actually see you smile in the halls now. Now I don't know if it had anything to do with me breaking up with you, but..."

"It didn't," said Scott truthfully.

"That's not the point," she retorted, "I guess what I'm trying to say here is...I think I made a mistake."

Jean's heart skipped a beat. It was as if a pile of bricks just crashed down atop her. This couldn't be happening...Not to her lover. But she was seeing it right there as clear as night and day.

"Taryn..." said Scott, not knowing what else to say.

"I've come to a few major realizations, Scott. I know I didn't handle our relationship in the way I should have. I...I was just so impatient. I didn't care whether or not you were comfortable or happy. I just wanted to move ahead and make it official, not giving a second thought to how you might feel."

Scott honestly didn't know what to think now. Was Taryn admitting her faults? Was she really swallowing her pride and placing the blame on herself even though she didn't know the full story?

"I was being selfish, plain and simple," she said in a definitive tone as she inched her way closer to Scott, "I pushed you when I shouldn't have...Jumped ahead when I should have jumped back. And I want to correct that. I want to give us another shot."

"Another shot?" said Scott, his eyes widening behind his glasses.

"Yes," she said, smiling warmly, "But this time, I want it to be without the same complications. I want to start off on a good, solid note. And what better way to do that than the Sadie Hawkins dance this Friday? I don't have a date and I think I owe it to you. And maybe...Just maybe...We can make something happen."

There was a subtle undertone to Taryn's voice laced with sensuality. She still had that free spirit that had caught Scott off guard the first time, but it was never the notion of sex that was the problem. It was the way they went about it.

Now, instead of being spontaneous about it, she was willing to go through some formalities this time. It was the kind of thing Scott had contemplated when they were together. Now he was getting his wish.

"You really want to try again, Taryn? Even after we fell apart?" said Scott, still struck by the suddenness of this.

"I'm not saying it has to be completely official, Scott. I'm just saying that I want to see if we can make this work. Just one date. That's all. Maybe it will work out. Maybe it won't. I don't know, but I'd sure like to find out. Don't you?"

Scott just froze in place. He thought that he and Taryn were done and he had accepted that. It wasn't like he ever expected them to go anywhere since it had been mainly a response to Jean dating Duncan. But since his feelings for Jean grew, she became his only focus. And now that they were active lovers it was even more so.

But still how would he handle this? Things between him and Jean were evolving so much, so what would he do now?

"Scott, I won't do this unless you really want to give it a try," said Taryn as he was deep in thought, "It's up to you. So will you go with me to the dance?"

Jean held her breath. She didn't know what he was going to say. Was he really willing to go back to Taryn? After what they had now, was he really going to do it?

Scott felt as though he was in a time warp. His mind was drawing a blank. On one hand, he had his ex who wanted to give their failed relationship another try. On the other, he had a beautiful lover that he had been in love with forever, but it's not like they had anything official. They were just friends with benefits and nothing more. Right?

Finally, he blurted it out.

"Okay."

'What?!' Jean inwardly screamed.

"Really?" said Taryn with a hopeful look.

"Um...Yeah, sure. Why not?" said Scott, losing control over his own voice.

"Great!" she said, planting a small kiss on his cheek, making Jean fume like never before, "It's a date! Pick me up at seven?"

"Sounds good to me," he replied, managing a slight smile despite the fact that he didn't know what the hell he was doing.

"I'm already excited!" she grinned, her body still leering tantalizingly close, "Thanks for hearing me out, Scott. I really do think we deserve another shot. And I promise you that this time we'll go at your pace."

"Um...Thanks?" said Scott, who was not sure what to say at this point.

Taryn just laughed at his shy demeanor. While she couldn't have known the genuine turmoil he was in, it did make for a cute scene that she interpreted as something positive. And in her mind, it was everything she had hoped for.

"You're so cute when you're nervous," she said, tracing her hand down the side of his face, "I'll see you around, Scott."

"Yeah. You too, Taryn. See you."

And with one final smile, Taryn walked off, a smile never leaving her face. For Scott, however, he just stood there in a daze.

'Whoa. What the hell did I just do?' he thought to himself.

Did he just get back together with Taryn? Did he just negate everything that had been building between him and Jean for his ex? What the hell was he thinking? It was all so sudden, yet he walked right into it. And now, there was no going back.

Jean stood equally stunned. She had been so close to asking Scott to the Sadie Hawkins dance. And yet Taryn had snatched him away from her...Again.

'No! That bitch! How could she...'

But she stopped right there. Feeling her heart sink, Jean Grey knew she had lost her chance. She had nearly two months for crying out loud. They had built upon this wonderful base of intimacy through their lovemaking that everything was in place. But she just didn't realize what was going on in her heart until it was too late.

After Scott finally regained his composure, he turned around back towards the picnic table area. But he was once again struck with shock as he passed Jean along the way.

"Jean? What are you...Are you okay?" he asked, noticing her demeanor.

Looking back at the man who had given her so much pleasure, comfort, and happiness since even before they became lovers, she took everything she had spent so much time making sense of and locked it all away.

"No Scott. I'm fine. Come on, let's go. The others are waiting."

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The rest of the day was one long walk of misery for Jean Grey. Her aura of optimism had been permanently shattered. The only guy she wanted to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with was taken by someone who was supposed to be her friend.

Even as the day ended, Jean walked with a perpetual look of gloom. It just wasn't fair. She had been so close, yet now it was out of her reach once again. Everybody else was so excited about the dance, even those without dates. She, on the other hand, couldn't stop dreading it.

After the final bell, Jean dragged her disheveled form down the halls of Bayville High, making her way towards the front entrance to meet up with the others. But once again, her legendary luck came back to haunt her as she passed Taryn yet again as she discussed her latest triumph with her friends.

"Oh my God, Tar! I can't believe it! He really took you back?" squealed one of her overly chipper female pals.

"Yeah, I was just as surprised. But hey, maybe it's a sign. Maybe it's proof that this is right and Scott and I are meant to be."

"Like, totally! But aren't you worried about what Jean Grey may think? I mean, she still hangs around him a lot and there have been rumors going around that they're involved or something."

"Hey, Jean had plenty of time to make her move," said Taryn with a shrug, "I guess she doesn't feel anything for him after all. Otherwise she would have said something by now."

"Oh yeah, either that or she's in some freaky denial," said one of her friends with a laugh.

"Maybe," Taryn shrugged, "But either way, I'm going to make sure that this date goes right! I'm going to put on all my charm for the most charming boy in school! And with any luck, it won't fall apart like last time."

"Yeah, I hope so. But do you think that'll be enough to get him to...You know," said her friend with a sultry undertone.

"Who knows?" grinned Taryn, "Maybe if we just take things as they come, nature will take its course. And besides, with a body like his it should be worth the wait!"

"Amen to that sister!"

Jean's clenched her fists in a rage. Taryn was actually going to try to put the moves on HER lover. But as angry as it made her feel, she couldn't deny one thing that she had mentioned...She had her chance.

So many opportunities and she didn't heed one of them. As much as she hated to admit it, Taryn was right. It wasn't like she had a formal claim over Scott. They were just friends with benefits. He was free to go out with anybody he wanted. But it still hurt. It hurt more than she ever could have imagined.

As she exited the school, she came across Kitty and Rogue. Kitty had an eager grin on her face, indicating that she hadn't heard about Taryn and Scott. But for Jean, this was the last thing she needed.

"Jean! Hey Jean!" chirped Kitty as she ran up to her friend, "So how'd it..."

"Don't ask, Kitty. For the love of God, don't ask," she muttered.

"Don't ask?" said Kitty with a confused look, "But..."

"I mean it, Kitty!" said Jean in a more serious tone, not even making eye contact with them as she speed walked towards the parking lot.

"Wow, Jean. Take it easy. We just wanna..."

"That goes double for you too, Rogue!" spat Jean, flashing a threatening look very uncharacteristic of the girl they both knew.

Kitty and Rogue were shocked. This certainly wasn't what they expected. But where did this come from? They wanted to probe more, but Jean wouldn't have it. And she made sure the girls knew that.

"Whoa...What happened?" said Kitty under her breath to her southern friend.

"Beats me, Kit," said Rogue, casting the redhead a suspicious glance, "But whatever it is, it must be pretty serious to have her act like this. And Ah'll bet ya a million bucks that it has somethin' to do with Scott."

"You really think so?"

"Ah know so," she said definitively, "Something's goin' on here. And Ah'm gonna find out if it kills meh."

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The car ride back for Jean was dead silent. She refused to speak even when someone asked her something. She didn't even respond to Scott, which made it all the more curious to her friends. But they dared not say anything given her volatile state. However, that didn't keep the others from worrying.

Scott knew Jean well enough to know when she needed some space. But some of the others, namely Kurt and Evan, still pestered her. But they were quickly silenced by hallow scorns that could have frozen hot lava. She wasn't in the mood. Her day had gone to hell. And right now, she just needed to let it sink in.

Once they all returned to the mansion, Jean bolted out of the car and ran right through the foyer without saying a word. Along the way, she was noticed by Logan, who was sitting in the kitchen with a beer and newspaper. And while none of the others dared to face an irked Jean Grey, Logan was a bit more daring.

Setting down his beer and foregoing his paper, Logan ascended the staircase and made his way towards Jean's room where he made out the distinct sounds of a teenage girl sulking. It was not his favorite sound, but given that he had practically raised Jean since she was twelve he took it upon himself to see what he could do.

"Red? Hey Red," he said, knocking on her closed door.

"Go away," she uttered.

"Fine...Be like that," he said, ignoring her words and barging into her room.

The second he entered, he was met with an irritated Jean Grey. But as scary as that was to some people, Logan didn't flinch as he closed the door behind him and leaned up against the wall while she sulked on her bed.

"So are ya gonna talk to me or am I just gonna have to stand here and watch ya sulk?"

"Do words 'go away' mean anything to you, Logan?" she replied, shooting him a frustrated look.

"Never was good with words," he said, matching her serious look, "Now come on, Jeannie. Stop doing this. Tell me what's wrong."

Letting out a deep sigh, Jean buried her face in her pillows and tried to suppress her sobs. She was so frustrated, angry, and utterly lost that she just wanted to curl up into a ball and die. But given Logan's legendary stubbornness, Jean knew that he wouldn't leave until she broke. And at this point, she had no strength to fight it.

"Is Ororo here?" she asked, wondering if she could turn to her for advice again.

"She's out shopping for garden supplies. Won't be back for another two hours. So that means you're stuck with me kid," he said showing no signs of leaving.

Jean let out a frustrated groan as she forced herself to sit up. She didn't want to do this, but maybe it was better she get this off her chest. She didn't know if Logan could give the same kind of advice as Ororo, but she couldn't stand holding it in.

"Well you see, Logan...It goes like this."

For the next thirty minutes, Jean filled the former living weapon on every detail she possibly could. Even though it happened only over the course of about fifteen minutes, she managed to make it sound like an eternity.

For Logan, hearing about this high school drama was a somewhat overwhelming. He could handle combat, infiltration, and missions without a sweat. But this was just way over his head. He didn't know the first thing about high school conflicts. Yet still he listened and by the time she was done, he was at a loss for words.

"And now Scott's going to the dance with the same girl who broke up with him. And after all these feelings I have for him have come out I honestly don't know how to handle this! Scott's my best friend for crying out loud! I'm closer to him than any other human being on the planet! And just as I start to realize how much he means to me, THIS has to happen! And I just can't get it out of my mind! I can't..."

"Whoa! Whoa! Easy there, Red! Take it easy! Just take a few breaths and calm down for cryin' out loud!" said Logan, not knowing how much more of this he could hear, "At this rate yer gonna think yourself to another power surge."

"Honestly Logan, a coma would be nice right about now," she muttered.

"But it wouldn't solve dick and you know it," quipped Logan, "Now just stop goin' a mile a minute for a second here and let me see if I can understand this problem as you've so eloquently put it."

Logan wasn't sure he was equipped to handle something like this. This was always more Ororo's domain, but after having spent a little 'time' with her recently he had gained a level of insight into the complex emotions of love. Maybe it was because he was just discovering them himself, but he knew enough to understand how difficult it could be.

"Now you say you're FINALLY willing to admit that ya feel somethin' for Cyke. That alone is a good enough start."

"Yeah, like I've been subtle about THAT recently," she muttered.

"Hey, to be fair, ya never were that subtle about it. Hell, I could see it with you two from day freakin' one. And honestly, I don't know how you two kept it under wraps."

"Well that makes two of us," she sighed, finding that to be pathetic in so many ways.

"And now ya got a real dilemma on yer hands," he continued, "The guy ya want was so close, but he was snatched away by some outsider who by doesn't have a clue what's going on."

"That would be the Taryn factor," muttered Jean, now having a rather strong distaste of that name regardless of whether or not she had the right to.

"And at this very moment, you're running the risk of losing Cyke to another girl."

"I think that pretty much sums it up," conceded Jean with a sigh, "So what do I do about it? How do I keep Scott from drifting away from me?"

While it may have seemed so complicated coming from Jean, the answers were already there. And when he thought of it in those simplest terms it was actually nowhere near as crazy as she made it out to be. If anything, she was just making it that way. And in Logan's ever straightforward mind he had a pretty good idea of what Jean had to do.

"Well I think it's obvious what ya gotta do now, Red..."

"Really? What's that?" said Jean, desperate for any kind of answers.

"Tell him."

"Huh?" said Jean, not expecting to hear something that blunt, even from Logan.

"It's simple, Red...Ya find Cyke, sit him down, talk very slowly and carefully, and say that you like him more than a friend."

Jean looked at Logan as if he had just grown a second head.

"You must be joking," said Jean, feeling anxious just thinking about that.

"Jeannie...When have I EVER been the joking type?" retorted Logan.

Jean didn't argue that, but the more she thought about it the more outlandish it seemed. Asking Scott to the dance was one thing, but just blurting out her deepest feelings...She just couldn't see herself going that far. The whole point of asking him to the dance was work up to it, not take that big jump.

"Logan, I..." she began, but the former living weapon wouldn't have it.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Jeannie! You're gonna drive yourself nuts at this rate!" he said, shaking his head in exasperation, "So his ex is tryin' to come back into the picture...So what? Is that really a problem? Is that really related to how ya feel about the guy? Seriously kid, you're complicating it way more than it has to be."

"Well it IS a complicated situation, Logan!" shot Jean with a frustrated look.

"It's only as complicated as you make it, Jean," he replied without skipping a beat, "One of the first things Ororo taught me the night we hooked up was that the only thing that holds us back is fear. And that's all that stands in your way and I know damn well that you're stronger than this."

Taking his words seriously, Jean fell silent. Logan's advice may not have been on the same level as Ororo's, but he knew how to make a point. She was afraid...Plain and simple. She was afraid of her feelings towards Scott. It was that fear that kept her from saying anything and it was that fear that kept her from making her move before Taryn came in.

This wasn't her friend's fault. This was her fault. And for Logan, that was as simple as it was going to get.

"Look, if you're gonna make a move, just make it already," he said as he prepared to make his leave, "Don't overthink and don't overreact. I don't know what else I could tell ya. Hell, I'm still workin' things out with Ro. But I think ya know what ya gotta do, so either do it soon or just keep lettin' yer chances pass ya by. It's your choice."

They were blunt, forceful, and straightforward...Pretty much everything that defined the persona of Wolverine. And as he made his leave, Jean Grey was left with some more thinking to do.

It was so overwhelming, the prospect of just walking up and telling Scott how she felt about him. Initially, she wanted to start small and slip into a more official relationship to test the waters, but now here Logan was telling her to just jump in head first. She wasn't sure she could do that, but that didn't mean that she couldn't take his advice.

"Make my move," she found herself repeating as she lay back on her bed, "Now how exactly do I go about something like that?"

She couldn't ask him to the dance, but did that mean that she couldn't use the dance? Did that mean that all hope was lost? She refused to accept that. Logan was right. She couldn't keep allowing chances to pass her by. And even if the dance did re-solidify Scott and Taryn, she was going to make sure she didn't stay silent this time.

She had no plan, no clear cut objective, and no underlying idea of what to do about this. But whatever came of this, Jean was sure of one thing...She would be at that dance on Friday to see this through.

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AN: Did you like it? Want to see what happens next? Don't forget to REVIEW! Please send me your feedback via email at slickboy444@aol.com or post it on the adultfanfiction website! Thank you all for reading and I wish you all the best!