Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Memento Mori
A/N: Just mentioning, the place described at the end of this chapter is a real place.
Chapter Fifteen: Moriendo Renascor
Warmth. The sensation had become so unfamiliar to Gerard, that he almost could not name it. Yet as he sat on a large leather armchair, facing a large cackling fire in the fireplace, the warmth of his surroundings tingled inside him to the very tips of his thawing fingers.
The man he had met, Jonathan, had welcomed him into his two story home with much enthusiasm. He had fed Gerard a bowl of very hot clam chowder along with some bread, commenting that he looked to be quite malnourished. And during the dinner, Jonathan did invite him to stay the night. He showed him to a lovely guest room that was right next to his own bedroom, and Gerard felt relief that he might not have to sleep on any cold, dusty floors after all.
Yet something did still prevent Gerard from his slumber. Despite all the warmth around him, there was a subtle chill that would pass by him ever so slightly, like the smallest breath of air you could imagine. T'was the kind of chill that brought goosebumps to your skin, or made you hair stand on end. He just could not place what it was or where it came from.
Perhaps he was worried for Frank, who must surely by now have discovered that he was no longer there. Gerard was sure he would notice, yes, but bitterness reminded him that he was not very sure if he was going to care. Still, the idea that Frank just might be sulking around somewhere in frustration and concern both pleased and saddened Gerard. It pleased him that Frank might still love him after all, but what was saddening was that he had abandoned that who loved him.
Or perhaps this nagging chill had nothing to do with Frank. Perhaps it had something to do with where he was now. He could not have imagined stumbling upon a more generous home, and all it's rooms and corners were the very definition of shelter from the cold. Yet there was something about it's host. Jonathan was a friendly, kind man who looked at Gerard as a person, not a burden. This was refreshing to Gerard, and encouraged him to trust Jonathan. Yet there was still something off about him, something that Gerard could see from the look in his icy blue eyes or the smile that curled his lips. He could be misinterpreting it, but he felt a sense of coveting in his actions. He wanted something --- but what?
Or perhaps the chill was not something recent, but something that he had simply not noticed before. It felt familiar, like an old friend. Like the woman that still visited his dreams every other night, taunting him with her identity. She was following him.
As though expecting her to appear beside him at that moment, Gerard quickly turned his head to the blank space that lead to the window. There was no such woman there, but the first rays of the morning sun were creeping through the glass, leaving a spill of light on the hardwood floor.
Deciding it was finally time to retire, Gerard got up from his seat and wandered over to the room that Jonathan had earlier showed him. He tiptoed as quietly as he could, as to not be a disturbance since Jonathan was residing so close by.
He opened the door and entered the spacious quarters, bringing himself to the bed. It was as he was nestling in that he noticed something on the coffee table, something that had not been there when Jonathan had showed him the room just a couple of hours ago --- a mug of hot chocolate that had gone somewhat cold, with a lip stain on it's rim. Jonathan had clearly left it there.
Gerard shrugged it off, and feeling quite fatigued, he slipped himself under a large blanket and into the welcoming mattress. Closing his eyes, he thought about how much he missed Frank sharing a bed with him.
"You shouldn't be here."
Gerard sighed as he heard her voice yet again, the woman the haunted his every slumber. She sat next to him in an elegant black dress, one that, like so many things these days, looked very familiar.
As with all these dreams, he took in his surroundings second.
They were sitting in the front row of a church, and a grand one at that. The walls of it were rather dark for the walls of a church, and they looked uneven, as though they contained many wide bumps. There were scarcely any windows, and the walls stretched so high up, it seemed the opposite of a bottomless pit. It was as though the roof must rise high above the clouds, up to the heavens itself. Gerard was briefly reminded of the Great Hall from a book series that he had once read called Harry Potter.
The woman next to him spoke again.
"You weren’t at my funeral. It was a lovely ceremony.”
“I’m sorry. I.. I...” Gerard stopped, realizing he could not surmise any sort of reason. He tried to recall any funerals he might have missed, but his mind drew a blank. The woman did not even seem to be paying attention either way.
She was looking at the walls, and the large bumps that rose up to the ceiling. Gerard squinted to see what she was so focused on, but they seemed nothing more than the result of some very bad construction.
“It does not matter. Nothing matters. In the end, it’s all the same.” She spoke in a gentle tone that was again familiar to him, like an old lullaby he had forgotten the words to, and was only now remembering.
Gerard stood and walked closer to the walls she was so intensely observing. It was not until he brought himself mere inches away from it, that he realized that the bumps had taken on the form of human faces, that stared back at him with hollow eyes. He reached out to touch one, and felt hard, white surfaces below his fingers.
“Skulls.” He whispered, retracting his hand. Skulls and human bones were what the entire chapel was composed of.
Gerard turned behind him, and saw that the woman was again gone. He looked around at the rest of the chapel, and the eyes of what must have been thousands of skulls looked back at him.
Gerard decided it was time to leave. He walked through the gigantic building quickly, trying to avert his gaze from the human remains around him. Yet just before he found the exit, he could not help but stare at two particular skulls that stared at him by the side of the doorway. There was one adult sized one, and one little one, which was just about the size of a two year old girl’s head.
Gerard was suddenly feeling quite distraught, and scurried outside the chapel doors. At last, he was outside.
Yet the landscape that he met was bleak, and foggy. There was nothing more than mist before him, and he felt fearful of entering it. He instead looked back at the massive, horrid piece of architecture. There was an archway that lined the entrance, and upon it there were words engraved. They read:
We bones, lying here bare, await for yours.
The chill visited him again, and Gerard turned away to walk into the mist. And upon entering the strange fog, finally Gerard awoke to a new day.
Next chapter: Jonathan certainly is a strange fellow.
Chapter Fifteen: Moriendo Renascor
Warmth. The sensation had become so unfamiliar to Gerard, that he almost could not name it. Yet as he sat on a large leather armchair, facing a large cackling fire in the fireplace, the warmth of his surroundings tingled inside him to the very tips of his thawing fingers.
The man he had met, Jonathan, had welcomed him into his two story home with much enthusiasm. He had fed Gerard a bowl of very hot clam chowder along with some bread, commenting that he looked to be quite malnourished. And during the dinner, Jonathan did invite him to stay the night. He showed him to a lovely guest room that was right next to his own bedroom, and Gerard felt relief that he might not have to sleep on any cold, dusty floors after all.
Yet something did still prevent Gerard from his slumber. Despite all the warmth around him, there was a subtle chill that would pass by him ever so slightly, like the smallest breath of air you could imagine. T'was the kind of chill that brought goosebumps to your skin, or made you hair stand on end. He just could not place what it was or where it came from.
Perhaps he was worried for Frank, who must surely by now have discovered that he was no longer there. Gerard was sure he would notice, yes, but bitterness reminded him that he was not very sure if he was going to care. Still, the idea that Frank just might be sulking around somewhere in frustration and concern both pleased and saddened Gerard. It pleased him that Frank might still love him after all, but what was saddening was that he had abandoned that who loved him.
Or perhaps this nagging chill had nothing to do with Frank. Perhaps it had something to do with where he was now. He could not have imagined stumbling upon a more generous home, and all it's rooms and corners were the very definition of shelter from the cold. Yet there was something about it's host. Jonathan was a friendly, kind man who looked at Gerard as a person, not a burden. This was refreshing to Gerard, and encouraged him to trust Jonathan. Yet there was still something off about him, something that Gerard could see from the look in his icy blue eyes or the smile that curled his lips. He could be misinterpreting it, but he felt a sense of coveting in his actions. He wanted something --- but what?
Or perhaps the chill was not something recent, but something that he had simply not noticed before. It felt familiar, like an old friend. Like the woman that still visited his dreams every other night, taunting him with her identity. She was following him.
As though expecting her to appear beside him at that moment, Gerard quickly turned his head to the blank space that lead to the window. There was no such woman there, but the first rays of the morning sun were creeping through the glass, leaving a spill of light on the hardwood floor.
Deciding it was finally time to retire, Gerard got up from his seat and wandered over to the room that Jonathan had earlier showed him. He tiptoed as quietly as he could, as to not be a disturbance since Jonathan was residing so close by.
He opened the door and entered the spacious quarters, bringing himself to the bed. It was as he was nestling in that he noticed something on the coffee table, something that had not been there when Jonathan had showed him the room just a couple of hours ago --- a mug of hot chocolate that had gone somewhat cold, with a lip stain on it's rim. Jonathan had clearly left it there.
Gerard shrugged it off, and feeling quite fatigued, he slipped himself under a large blanket and into the welcoming mattress. Closing his eyes, he thought about how much he missed Frank sharing a bed with him.
"You shouldn't be here."
Gerard sighed as he heard her voice yet again, the woman the haunted his every slumber. She sat next to him in an elegant black dress, one that, like so many things these days, looked very familiar.
As with all these dreams, he took in his surroundings second.
They were sitting in the front row of a church, and a grand one at that. The walls of it were rather dark for the walls of a church, and they looked uneven, as though they contained many wide bumps. There were scarcely any windows, and the walls stretched so high up, it seemed the opposite of a bottomless pit. It was as though the roof must rise high above the clouds, up to the heavens itself. Gerard was briefly reminded of the Great Hall from a book series that he had once read called Harry Potter.
The woman next to him spoke again.
"You weren’t at my funeral. It was a lovely ceremony.”
“I’m sorry. I.. I...” Gerard stopped, realizing he could not surmise any sort of reason. He tried to recall any funerals he might have missed, but his mind drew a blank. The woman did not even seem to be paying attention either way.
She was looking at the walls, and the large bumps that rose up to the ceiling. Gerard squinted to see what she was so focused on, but they seemed nothing more than the result of some very bad construction.
“It does not matter. Nothing matters. In the end, it’s all the same.” She spoke in a gentle tone that was again familiar to him, like an old lullaby he had forgotten the words to, and was only now remembering.
Gerard stood and walked closer to the walls she was so intensely observing. It was not until he brought himself mere inches away from it, that he realized that the bumps had taken on the form of human faces, that stared back at him with hollow eyes. He reached out to touch one, and felt hard, white surfaces below his fingers.
“Skulls.” He whispered, retracting his hand. Skulls and human bones were what the entire chapel was composed of.
Gerard turned behind him, and saw that the woman was again gone. He looked around at the rest of the chapel, and the eyes of what must have been thousands of skulls looked back at him.
Gerard decided it was time to leave. He walked through the gigantic building quickly, trying to avert his gaze from the human remains around him. Yet just before he found the exit, he could not help but stare at two particular skulls that stared at him by the side of the doorway. There was one adult sized one, and one little one, which was just about the size of a two year old girl’s head.
Gerard was suddenly feeling quite distraught, and scurried outside the chapel doors. At last, he was outside.
Yet the landscape that he met was bleak, and foggy. There was nothing more than mist before him, and he felt fearful of entering it. He instead looked back at the massive, horrid piece of architecture. There was an archway that lined the entrance, and upon it there were words engraved. They read:
We bones, lying here bare, await for yours.
The chill visited him again, and Gerard turned away to walk into the mist. And upon entering the strange fog, finally Gerard awoke to a new day.
Next chapter: Jonathan certainly is a strange fellow.
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