FicWad

Nothing has been the same between them for years. Not since Gerard married Lyn-Z. The worst part is, he really loves her, and Frank is well aware of that. But that doesn’t change how he feels about him. He still thinks of Gerard as the awkward, adorable man he’s always had a thing for. Would you even call it a ‘thing’? Or just an odd range of emotions. With every single second he’s around Gerard, he feels out of place and unwanted, because he knows Lyn-Z is in the back of his mind, and not him.
Today they’re performing in the The Hollywood Bowl in California and Frank knows that he won’t have any spontaneous on stage romance with Gerard, he wouldn’t do that in such a big arena, in front of so many people. He wouldn’t do it in front of a small crowd, or in front of no one at all. Frank had hope that Gerard still wanted him, but he was losing it.
The crowd was wild and crazy, and in the heat of the moment, Frank lost all control. He ran over to Gerard and grabbed both sides of his sweaty, make-up covered face. Gerard’s lips were slippery from the spit and sweat. He pulled away only to see Gerard smiling like an idiot at him. He still cared. And that’s all he needed to know. He went back to his side of the stage and finished “The Sharpest Lives”. The crowd was even more insane from the kiss, and Frank couldn’t help but smile. He could feel Ray and Mikey snickering away at them, but they had no idea what it really was. To Frank, it wasn’t just a stage act, it was an everyday want.
After the concert Gerard just brushed past Frank without making any eye contact. And Frank knew that this was how the rest of his night would be, filled with cold shoulders and anger. He walked up to Gerard and tapped his shoulder. Gerard turned around he just looked at Frank coldly.
“What?” He said looking away refusing to make any eye contact with him.
“Don’t be like that Gerard. You’re overacting. It was just a stage kiss.”
Gerard rolled his head over to look at Frank, with a shocked look upon his face. “But that’s not all it is to you Frank, I know you. Now you’re going to think everything is back to the way it was, but it’s not. You have Jamia, and I have Lyn-Z. Stop living in this fucked up fantasy you have of us in your head. It’s not okay.” And with that, he was gone.
Frank just stood there dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to do. Gerard had never treated him like that before, normally he just brushed it off. But this was an all new level of anger. And it wasn’t an okay thing.
Frank went back to the bus and slid into his bunk. He pulled out his iPod and blasted his ears out with Misfits. He didn’t care if would never hear again, he just wanted to forget tonight, and his mistake. He saw Gerard’s feet and rolled over. He didn’t want to see anything of his right now. Next thing he knew, Gerard was leaning down tapping Frank on the shoulder.
“Frank, turn around. Frank.”
“What, Gerard?” He said turning around giving him the coldest glare he could manage, but he still melted a bit looking into Gerard’s eyes.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you, but you have to realize that all of that, all of the stages kisses, they have to stop. It’s just not okay anymore.” He could tell that Gerard was really trying to get the message through as nice as he could without freaking out and yelling at him.
“I’m nothing to you. You only care about Lyn-Z. And that hurts the most.” And that was all he said, he turned around and blasted the music to the point where he couldn’t hear him anymore.
Gerard just looked at him with a disapproving look, he loved Frank. He loves him a lot, but he also loves Lyn-z. And Frank just can’t understand that she’s his future, and he’s his past. He laid down in his bunk and stared at the roof of the bunk above him. Underneath him, Frank was doing his best to ignore his existence. And right above him is Mikey, the one person who has been there for the longest time, but not even he would understand. He just rolled over and slept. That was the easiest thing to do at this point.