FicWad

I could hear the distant murmurs of people's voices. Low. Quiet.
Where was I?
I faintly moved my hand, to see if I could feel.
I could.
Slowly, I moved my toes, I sucked in deep breath.
So far so good.
"She's waking up! Nurse! Doctor!" I faintly heard someone say.
I breathed again.
It was effort trying to open my eyes, and I struggled to life my eyelids up.
"There, there now Holly. Just relax. All in good time," came a voice. The smell of cleaning product filled my senses. I tried to talk but I couldn't make sense of what I was saying. I heard the distant murmur of more voices, and busy actions. I relaxed, just carried on breathing, trying to calm myself.
With one final effort, I opened up my eyes. Blinding white lights filled my senses, for a minute I actually thought I had lost my eyesight.
"She's awake!" someone said. I reconized that voice. Stefan.
"Stefan?" I mumbled. I very distantly felt the warmth of someone's hand cover my own cold hand.
"It's okay, Holly, I'm here, I'm here..." his voice sounded thick with worry and sadness. I felt more awake now, now that I had managed to talk a bit. Blinking rapidly, I slowly began to sit up. My whole body ached, and it was only then I realized my leg was in a cast, and was propped up in a sling, hanging from the ceiling.
"What's going on?" I said, not remembering anything.
"Now, now, there's plenty time for the story later," a Nurse inturrpeted, bustling around me. "How are you, sweetie? Temperatue fine, in mild shock..." the Nurse consulted her clipboard and walked back out again, calling from behind her, "A Doctor will be with you shortly."
I strained my eyes, and finally took in my surroundings.
Alex, Emily, Natalie, Dru, Stefan and Alice were sitting around me. Stefan was holding my hand. Everyone look awful, dark circles under their eyes, pale, shocked.
"What happened?" I said, slightly dazed. Stefan quietly explained.
The memory's hit me like a slap round the face. The car. Crashing.
"Am I okay?" I asked myself. Stefan chuckled, but there was no humour.
"You're pretty bashed up. Broken leg, cracked two ribs, sprained wrist, not to mention cuts and bruises and scars for life," Stefan said, his voice croaking. Tears leeked down my cheeks.
"Ashley? Ellie?" I said, feeling awful. Stefan swallowed.
"Ashley died, Holly. Wasn't wearing a seatbelt... you were, you survived, but only just. If you had hit your head a fraction more to the right you would have died. Ellie's been taken in the police station for questioning."
"I'm a murder," I croaked. Stefan squeezed my hand.
"No. Ashley was," Stefan said.


A month passed by. It was a long and painful time till I was let out of hospital. Even afterwards I still felt wobbly on my two own legs.
Stefan was always there to help though - don't know where I'd be without him, to be honest.
Now all the trouble's over, we can start getting back to the lives we had missed so much.
I stand here now, staring out the front window, a cut running down the side of my face, from where glass had cut me.
Soon it'll be Christmas. Winter. Snow on the branches, chilly days, cosy evenings.
I still miss Joe. Everyday I think about him, even with Stefan here to look after me.
No will ever take his place though.
Ever.
I notice the blackbird that had been my garden companion sitting on the frosty ground. I could tell from the window that it was dead.
I go outside and kneel down beside the bird, cupping in my hands. I carefully put it down again, go back inside, find a small container and slowly go back outside.
Placing the little blackbird in the container, I dig a hole underneath the Rose bush, where the bird used to sit on those sunny days before all the trouble happened.
As I bury the container, I cry bitterly, tears streaming down my face, because the bird had sung so beautifully through these winter days and now, it was gone.
Wiping the tears off my cheeks, I go back inside, and still,
you were not there.