Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Past Ain't Through With You

Doesn't Change Anything

by carmen 3 reviews

Holly turns to Gerard for help.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2011-12-09 - Updated: 2011-12-09 - 2678 words

Holly awoke the next morning to memories of last night. It had been a wonderful evening full of laughter and smiles. After Alicia had voiced several times how grateful she was to Holly for visiting and helping to improve Mikey’s mood it had been impossible for Holly to tell her she was considering leaving. Besides, she reasoned with herself, waiting until after Christmas would be better for Molly. Still in the back of her mind she knew one of the main reasons she’d come here, to help Gerard, was a failure. There was nothing she could do or say to help him.

After breakfast Mikey and Alicia decided to go to a movie then out for lunch later in the afternoon. This was fine with Holly who wanted to work on her wind chimes. So once they had gone she and Molly ventured out into the garage. She settled Molly down on a blanket surrounded by colorful paper and crayons. Molly loved to draw and she’d decided she was going to make pictures for her new friends.

An hour later Holly was applying sterling silver beads to her newest creation when Molly spoke.

“Mommy whats youse tink?’ She asked holding up a freshly done picture. It was the third she’d completed. The first two had been for Mikey and Alicia.

Holly looked over, “Oh that’s pretty.” She could see the little girl had drawn a picture featuring a bright yellow sun. “Who’s that for?”

“For Gee." Molly answered. “He’s sad and mes wants im to feels better."

Holly frowned, “Gee’s sad?” She wondered where Molly had gotten that idea.

“Yep.” Molly nodded, “Mes heard Uncle Mikey and Awesha sayings so.”

What conversation had she overheard, Holly wondered. “Oh, well I’m sure that will brighten up his day.”

“Mes opes so.” Molly said laying back down on the blanket. As Holly watched she grabbed the yellow crayon still not happy with the brightness of the sun.

Holly forced herself to concentrate on her work and not Gerard. It wasn’t easy.

By eleven o‘clock she was done. “Hey Molly wanna go take the wind chimes I have done to the art gallery?”

Molly looked up and smiled, “Yep.”

They carefully packaged up the wind chimes for transport then set off. Holly had looked at a map and thought she knew how to get to the Hughes Gallery. It opened at noon today and she was sure Arthur would be pleased to see her.


Gerard and Bandit were just driving back for taking Donna to the airport. Seeing his mother off had been bittersweet. While he missed her he was glad she was going back home. With all the stress his marriage was under her visit had only served to cause more problems. He knew in his heart it was time he and Lindsey sat down and really tried to deal with their problems. He wanted his marriage to work, he loved his wife and wanted Bandit to live in a happy home but right now that’s not what they had.

Sighing he tried to concentrate on the traffic. Several minutes later he received a text. Knowing it was unsafe to read it while driving in the brutal LA traffic he waited until he could find a place to pull over.

“Shit.” He muttered once he’d read the text, “Well shit.”


Holly looked around nervously at her surroundings. She knew she was lost, very lost. She would have called Mikey and Alicia for directions but knew they were in a movie. Christa had been her next choice but unfortunately she hadn’t answered. So now she had been forced to text Gerard. She had chosen to text instead of call thinking he might be busy and knowing that he was probably going to make a big deal out of the fact she was lost.

Her phone rang and she sighed, “Hey Gee. Sorry to bother you but Mikey and Alicia are at a movie…”

He cut her off, “Where are you?” She’d put the name of the street in her text but he’d been hoping it against hope that wasn’t really were she was.

Holly sighed, “Well right now I’m pulled over in a parking lot but were on W Gage Ave.”

Gerard closed his eyes a moment to think, “Okay so look around you Holly. You are not in a good area.

“Gee stop being so dramatic, it’s not that bad.”

He tried not to lose his patience but he understood she was in a very high crime rate area. “Put your phone on speaker and start driving. I’ve pulled up Google Maps and I’m gonna give you directions out of there.”

“Fine.” She turned on the speaker then started to pull out of the lot. Out of the corner of her eye she was a group of young men watching. While Holly wasn’t exactly afraid she did realize this probably was a tough area and her first concern was Molly. “Okay do I turn right or left?”

“You need to turn North.” Gerard said studying the map. “Give me the name of a street you cross.”

She watched for a street sign then gave him the name.

“Okay, good. Holly what the hell are you doing there?" He had to ask.

“Got lost.” She sighed, “I was trying to find the Hughes Gallery.”

He nodded then pulled up a map to where she was to where she was going.

“Oh” Holly said without thinking.

“What’s wrong?” He asked quickly.

Holly glanced away from Safe Harbor the homeless shelter Connie had told her about. “Oh nothing.” She said trying to sound nonchalant.

He knew how her mind worked. Pulling up another map he checked to see if he was right and he was. “See why I don’t want you going to that shelter? That’s a rough neighborhood.”

“Gee, you’re being dramatic again. It’s the middle of the day.”

“Crime don’t care about that.”

“Okay now what?” She asked trying to change the subject.

His patience was wearing thin. “Fuck Holly would you just listen to me?”

“Gerard you are on speaker and Molly’s in the car.” She glanced back and saw the Molly was looking confused. The “F” word wasn’t one she’d heard before so she hadn’t known it was a bad word. Still she understood that Holly was upset with Gee.

“Sorry” He said softly then heard Molly’s voice. “What did she say?”

“Oh she just wanted me to tell you she drew you a picture.”

Gerard smiled slightly, “That’s nice.” He could hear Molly’s voice again and tried to make out what she was saying.

“What did she say about me?” He’d caught part of her words.

“Just that she hoped it would make you happy." Holly said softly.

“She thinks I’m unhappy?”

“Gee, she overheard a conversation Mikey and Alicia were having. I don’t know what it was about, I wasn’t there, but from it she decided you are unhappy and she just wants her picture to cheer you up.”

He turned to the backseat to smile at his daughter. “That’s sweet of her. Okay, now give me another cross road.”

When she did he spoke again.

“Okay in about a mile you’ll be coming up on the 110. Take that to 10 which is the Santa Monica Freeway. That’s what you need to get to the Hughes Gallery.”

Holly smiled, “Okay I know where to go once I’m on that. I looked it up. Thanks for the help, Gee.”

“Stay on the phone until you get to the 110.” He said quickly. “I wanna make sure you get out of that area.”

“Gee, we’re fine now.”

His tone softened, “Holly, please.”

She sighed, “Okay, Gee.”

A moment later he said, “Holly we need to talk about yesterday.”

“Not now, Gee.” Holly answered.

“Just tell me you agree we need to talk.” He begged. He needed to make her understand he was sorry for so many things.

“Nope.” Holly answered softly, “There is nothing to discuss. The past is the past. Let it go.”

“I can’t let it go.” He said quickly. “I won’t.”

Holly saw the signs up ahead for the 110. “Art of letting it go, Gee.” She said softly then added, “Okay, 110 is right up ahead. Thanks again.’ She reached over and disconnected before he could reply.


“Damn frustrating, woman.” Gerard muttered. He glanced back again and saw that Bandit was asleep.

Slowly he pulled back into traffic and started for home but his heart was heavy. When they got there he knew Lindsey would still be gone. It was just him and Bandit on their own.

As he drove he tried not to let depression set in, which had been happening a lot lately. He knew that if it did, he’d want a drink.

Quickly he picked his phone back up knowing it was stupid to talk while driving when it wasn’t necessary but he needed something to lighten his mood.

“Yes, Gee?” She answered then put the phone on speaker to free up her hands.

“Okay I gotta ask you something. How come you haven’t said anything about my hair?”

Of all the questions she’d expected this most definitely wasn’t one of them. “Your hair?”

“Wed.” Molly sang out from the backseat.

Holly laughed, “Yeah Molly, it’s very red.”

Gerard laughed, “Well?”

“You are such a strange man.” Holly giggled, “You called me back to ask me what I think of your hair?”

“Well yeah. I mean when we first met you made such a big deal about how much you hated it blond.”

“It wasn’t blond it was white and I never said I hated it.” She reminded him.

Gerard laughed, “Uh, you hated it but you kept calling it different.”

“Okay, true.” Holly laughed, “I though it was very different. But honestly I kinda like the red and I’m not sure why. It did surprise me when I first saw you in the kitchen.”

His smile faded remembering that encounter.

“But honestly I was looking more at your eyes.” She said softly.

He knew that was because she could always see the truth in his eyes. “The way you looked surprised me too.” He said softly, “But I was looking into your eyes too.”

This conversation was making her uncomfortable. “Well I better concentrate on this traffic.” Holly said changing the subject.

“Yeah, I know. Me too. Talk to ya later, Holly.”

“Bye Gee.” She said then disconnected.


Holly did concentrate on her driving but still part of her brain couldn’t stop but return to the past.

Dec 11th 2006

“Okay let’s do this.” Holly said as she slid out of her coat.

Gerard laughed, “Can’t wait to get rid of this color, can you?”

Instead of answering she looked around, “Where’s Donna?”

He spoke as they walked towards the kitchen, “Out with her friend. I figured we do this downstairs. That way we won’t mess up mom’s bathroom.”

Holly laughed, “Hey, if I’m doing this there will be no mess.”

He wasn’t so sure. Many times he’d dyed his hair and most times it had resulted in a huge mess.

“Okay.” Gerard said walking into his room. “Got everything ready.” He sat down on his bed then pulled a towel around his neck.

“You’re gonna sit on your bed?” Holly asked giving him a look that clearly stated she thought it was a bad idea.

“Sure” He grinned, “Besides you said there would be no mess. And when it’s time to rinse this shit off we’ll just use my bathroom.”

Holly shrugged, “Okay, if you say so.” She pushed up the sleeves of her long sleeve tee getting ready.

He watched her as she quickly read the instructions. At least she wasn’t wearing that horrible Christmas sweatshirt but he wondered if she had any clothes that were the right size. Everything she wore was huge.

Holly cut the top of the bottle then mixed the in the color. She put on the plastic gloves then began to shake the mixture. “Ready?”


“So, how come I’m doing this and not your girlfriend beautician?” Holly asked as she began to squeeze the color onto his head.

For some reason it bothered him that Holly had called Eliza his girlfriend but he pushed that thought from his mind. “She’ll probably be pissed.”

“She the one who made it white?”

He laughed, “It’s blond.”

Holly rolled her eyes, “Yeah, if you say so.”

For several minutes she concentrated on applying the color.

Gerard was watching the process in his dresser mirror. Suddenly he couldn’t keep himself from laughing.

Holly looked up and met his reflection in the mirror. “What’s so funny?”

“The look on your face.” He grinned, “You are concentrating so hard.”

“So you want me to just apply the dye willy-nilly?”

“No.” He tried to look serious but his eyes were smiling. “Just relax.”

“I want to do a good job.” Holly answered truthfully.

He thought a moment. “I bet you always try to do your best at everything you do”

Holly nodded, “Yeah, it is doesn’t always work out that so good.” She moved around to work on the other side of his head.

Gerard considered her words, “And that bothers you?”

Holly sighed, “Yeah, I suppose so. I strive for excellence. I obtain the ordinary.”


“Mommy me’s ungry.” Molly’s words pulled her back to reality.

“As soon as we’re finished at the gallery we’ll get lunch, okay?”

Molly smiled, “Otay, mommy.”


Pulling into the driveway Gerard was surprised to see Lindsey’s car.

His wife pulled open the door as he carried the still sleeping Bandit in his arms. She followed him down the hallway to watch him lay their daughter down then cover her with a light blanket.

When Gerard turned Lindsey was gone. He walked through the house to the kitchen where he found her. She looked so fragile as she poured a glass of water. He couldn’t stop himself. He walked over and before she could object he pulled her into his arms.

Lindsey’s body stiffened for a moment then relaxed. When Gerard’s lips crashed down on hers she didn’t resist.

“God, Linds.” He whispered. “I’ve missed this.” His fingers snaked beneath her shirt to fondle her breasts.

She put all thoughts out of her head letting her body respond.

Gerard held her hand leading them to the bedroom. Once there they pulled at each other’s clothes in a frenzy of movements.

The bed creaked as they fell onto it. Gerard tried to slow down not knowing if she was ready but she quickly impaled herself on his rock hard dick.

“Oh.” Her head fell back as she moved over him.

Gerard thrust his hips needing to go deeper. Their lovemaking was fast and frenzied.

“God that was good.” He said as she rolled off him. He moved to take her into his arms but she scooted to the side of the bed and sat up.

“Linds?” He could see her body was shaking, she was crying.

“I’ve got to go.” Her voice broke, “I just came by to pick up a few things.”

“Go where?” He asked suddenly afraid.

“To the art opening.” She reminded him gaining control of her emotions. “I told you that’s what I was doing today and tonight. I promised to help out.”

“I know.” He said sitting up. “But you have to leave now? We just made love.”

Lindsey stood and began pulling her clothes back on. “Doesn’t change anything.” She said softly as she walked out the door.
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