Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Give My Heart Back

11- The Guilt's No Good

by XxPerfectTomorrowxX 4 reviews

"I love you Hayley." Alex said, stepping closer to me.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Published: 2011-12-10 - Updated: 2011-12-10 - 1996 words - Complete

-Forgiveness Can Be Given When You Think It Can't-


(Earlier that day)

(Alex's POV)

"Hayley, oh thank god!" I whispered, watching her eyes flutter open. The nurse had assured me over twenty times that Hayley would live but I just couldn't shake my worries, not until I saw her eyes open. I just wanted to see some... sign of life. And here it was. Hayley blinked furiously, a look of confusion crossing her face and then one of fear. I saw her look around the room with worry.

"A-alex... w-where-" She stopped abruptly, biting her lip. "God, I hurt so bad. What happened? Where am I? What happened to me?" She cried out. I had to blink back tears. When it came to Hayley I wasn't very tough at all. She was my best friend, my everything. How could he do this to her? I was fairly certain that it was Frank. It wasn't as if Hayley had an abundance of enemies just waiting to harm her.

"Shh, calm down. It's okay." I whispered, brushing my fingers against her face gently. She flinched and I reluctantly pulled away. "I won't touch you... I'm sorry." I apologized immediately. "We are in the hospital." I swallowed hard, "Do you, uh, remember what happened at all?" I asked softly, knowing that the hospital had contacted the police already. They were waiting to speak with Hayley. As much as I wanted Frank to rot in hell for what he'd done... I didn't want Hayley to have to go through all the questioning.

Hayley wouldn't look at me. "Hayley?" I pressed softly, not wanting to force the information from her. It was fairly important however. "It's okay. You can tell me. I won't let him come near you."

Hayley nodded, eyes filling with tears. "Was it Frank?" I asked softly, not wanting to traumatize her further.

Hayley's eyes flew to mine and I could see her anger clearly, "Don't ask me that." She snapped.

"I don't know what that means Hayley." I whispered, confused. "I need to know. The police are going to need to know. Did Frank hurt you?"

Hayley shook her head, "It wasn't him." She whispered, once again not looking at me.

"You're lying to me." I felt angry. Why did she have to lie? Why was she trying to protect him? "It's obvious Hayley. It was Frank. Frank beat you. Frank raped you. Frank tried to fucking kill you." I couldn't help it, my voice was rising. It wasn't until I realized that Hayley was shaking that I shut myself up, apologizing once again. "I'm sorry Hayley... I just want you to be safe. If Frank wants to hurt you then he needs to go to jail. Do you understand?"

Once again Hayley was glaring at me. "Don't talk to me like I'm a child. I'm not a child." She snapped.

I nodded, horrified that I had been treating her as if she were a child. I hadn't meant to. "I'm sorry." I repeated my apology again. "But-"

She cut me off, "But nothing. Frank didn't do it Alex and you can't make me say that he did."

"Why would you protect him?" I asked, disgusted.

"He needs my help Alex!" Hayley said, her pleading eyes meeting my own. "He's... he's not okay. I need to help him."

"After what he did to you?" I asked.

Hayley wouldn't respond. I knew she wouldn't give Frank up. This wasn't going to be as easy as I hoped. I had never thought that the fight would go beyond Hayley's recovery. Frank needed to pay for this. "I'm sorry Hayley but I don't understand." I whispered. "I don't understand how you can sit there and protect someone who hurt you so badly. He's not even here. He hasn't tried to see you, not once. He doesn't give a damn about you Hayley. I know you think he does. I think you think he loves you but he doesn't. This isn't love. This is sick. I don't think I can sit around and watch him ruin you."

"... you're going to leave?" She sounded scared.

I sighed, knowing I wouldn't leave her side by choice. "No, I'm not going anywhere." I assured her in what I hoped was a comforting tone. I had to hide my pain. I had to hide my anger. I had to hide every emotion I was feeling because right now wasn't about me. Right now was about Hayley and her recovery. I had to keep that in mind. I hated Frank but right now this was about Hayley, and only Hayley.


(Hayley's POV)

The walls were so white that I thought my eyeballs might be stained with the color. I was getting tired of staring blankly at the walls but when I closed my eyes things were much, much worse. Whenever I closed my eyes I went back to... the assault.

As I shivered Frank's eyes shot to me and he stared at me, as if trying to decide whether or not I would be okay. Somehow, I would manage. I was more concerned for Frank. Would he be okay? Drug addiction was difficult to beat. How had things gotten this bad? Frank was sitting in the chair next to my bed, absentmindedly biting his nails as he checked his cell phone. He hadn't called Mikey yet. He hadn't done anything other than sit next to me in silence.

"Are you hungry?" Frank asked, breaking the unbearable silence.

I shrugged, instantly in pain upon doing so. I had to realize... my body was healing. I couldn't move certain ways without extreme pain. A simple shrug, standing, sitting up... All brought certain amounts of pain to my body. It wasn't pleasant but I was learning what not to do slowly.

"Are you okay?" Frank instantly asked, seeming to have noticed the pained expression that had covered my face.

'"I'm fine." I lied. "I..." I licked my lips, "I'm not really hungry but-" I was cut off as the door opened.

Alex instantly looked angry though he did hold himself back, much to my surprise. Kyla had tears in her eyes and looked as if she had just recieved terrible news. "How could you?" Kyla yelled at Frank immediately. God, I didn't want this. I didn't want to deal with the fighting.

"Frank, I think you should leave." Alex said, watching Frank with a look of absolute hatred.

"Isn't that something that should be left up to me to decide?" I asked, breaking in to the conversation. Kyla was glaring at Frank. Alex was glaring at Frank. I was the one in the hospital. Why couldn't they just fucking put aside their hate while in the same room? I was terrified. I was horrified. I was angry. I was still coping with it better than they were though.

"Hayley, just fucking shut up." Alex snapped.

I felt tears prick at my eyes. Alex had never before spoken to me like that. I knew he was angry from our conversation earlier but... that angry? "Don't talk to her like that." Frank said, in a dangerously low tone as he stood from his chair.

"Really?" Alex said, stepping closer to Frank. "You put her in the hospital and yet you're chatising me for not being polite when speaking to her?"

Frank was at a loss for words and it was obvious so instead I spoke, "Alex, why don't you leave?" The words left my mouth, leaving me a bit surprised. I didn't really want him gone but I couldn't deal with him anymore. I couldn't deal with his hate towards Frank, even though I knew it was completely justified.

The look of hurt that crossed Alex's face made me feel like the most vile human being to ever walk the earth. I wanted to stab myself in the mouth, to never speak again but first... First I wanted to apologize. "Alex, please don't go!" I said quickly as he reached for the doorknob, looking as if he had been hit across the face.

"You're contradicting yourself." Alex said softly. "Do you want me here or do you want me gone?" He stared in to my eyes. I felt as if his question went beyond today. It had a deeper meaning.

"Frank, Kyla... Can I please talk to Alex alone for a few minutes?" I asked, not appreciating the pressure I felt I was under as they all stared at me.

Kyla glared at Frank as she walked to the door. Frank cast a weary glance at Alex but said nothing as he followed Kyla. Alex stayed in place, looking absolutely crushed. "What did you want to say?" He finally asked, breaking the silence.

"I can't press charges against Frank." I whispered.

I saw Alex's jaw clench and I knew he was mad, getting angrier by the second. "Is that right?"

"I'm sorry Alex."

"I love you Hayley." Alex stated abruptly, stepping closer to me.

I reached out for his hand, softly grasping it. "I love you too Alex. You know how much I love you." I said, wanting to make it clear that he meant a lot to me.

Alex pulled his hand away from me and I stared up in to his eyes, confused. "No Hayley. I love you. I've loved you since the day I met you." Oh god.

"Alex... wow." I whispered, not knowing what to say.

Alex nodded, "Wow?" He asked, looking at the ground in disdain. "I can't do this Hayley. I can't let this happen. I can't just stand around while you go back to the man that put you here."

"I wasn't going to-" I found myself cut off by Alex's words.

"You will. You'll go back to him. It's obvious how you feel about him, even now. It makes me so fucking sick. He's going to kill you." Alex said, in a warning tone.

I shook my head, "He won't hurt me again." I felt as if I were trying to reassure myself as the words played through my head. "He's going to get help. He's got a drug problem Alex. He's going to get help and it'll be different. It'll be... how it used to be." I whispered.

"I thought you were smart Hayley." Alex said, sounding disgusted. "Way to prove me wrong." And with that he walked out, letting the door slam behind him. I jumped, tears forming in my eyes. Alex loved me. Alex was my best friend. How did I feel about him? How did I feel about Frank? Would Frank get help? Would I find hospital visits occuring regularly from here on out?

The door opened and Frank walked in. As I stared in to his eyes I realized... I was afraid of him. I didn't know what he was capable of. I didn't know what my future with him held. But I couldn't just walk away. I would stay. Alex was right. Was he right about everything?


(Shame on me... Another short chapter. It took me forever to update! I am extremely sorry. In my personal opinion this was kind of... poorly written. It lacked the passion I attempted to put in to it but it felt wrong to re-write it. So, feedback? Always appreciated. I'm not particularly sure how long the next update will take but I sure hope I can make it longer. I'm also hoping to feel a spark for the story again. It momentarily faded... leaving me with this chapter. X.x Not to say that I didn't love it and love writing it! That's not it at all... I love this story. I love this chapter. I just feel I could have done better. Rant over. I've been highly critical of my work lately. I've also been... kind of dead on writing lately. Not good. Hoping to hear from readers again. You guys make my ... night? Year? Life? Something like that! )
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