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for anyone who reads sarahkilljoykid's stories...
(#) dropthedaggerlaura 2011-12-10
Depression is something no one should have to go through so here's some suggestions for you
-ALWAYS keep her mind occupied, don't let her have nothing to think about or she will sink further
-NEVER let her say anything, even jokingly about suicide or depression. my best friend in the whole fucking world committed suicide last year. It's ruins lives
-ALWAYS remind her how lucky she is and that she's a great person and friend and you'd be lost without her
-NEVER snap at her for being depressed or anything. Yes it may be tiresome and annoying but she needs you.
Sorry I'm really busy or I'd write more.
Hope it helps.
If you want or need advice or need to rant please feel free to email me at I.carried.on@gmail.com
LOVE FROM AMANDAfor anyone who reads sarahkilljoykid's stories...
(#) TheLittleSinner 2011-12-10
Okay so yeah. Comment above me was SPOT on. Basically... NEVER give up in her. That (in my opinion) is the absolute worst thing that you could do. She is obviously hurting, and both her position and YOUR positions are tricky ones. Let her know that she isn't alone in this world. Be there as a shoulder to cry on. Help her carry on. Get her out of the house for some pure mindless entertainment. Somewhere where she can momentarily lose herself and forget her troubles. (NOT FOREVER!!) A key thing here, is helping her get over it. Not helping her cover up her feelings. They are very important to pay attention too. She just gets scarred even deeper if her feelings are nothing but buried.for anyone who reads sarahkilljoykid's stories...
(#) paradoxicalcynic 2011-12-11
Encourage her to get professional help - as much as you are her best friend it is unhealthy for you to take on the role of a psychologist.
Let her know that you are always there to talk (etc), and that you care. Force her to get out of the house and go shopping/see movies/etc, with you :) pull her arond to your house :)
Be assertive and honest about your feelings to her. You cant spend every ounce of time with her, and being with someone suffering from depression can be very psychologically draining and can effect your mood. So look after yourself, because if you get down too, the situation will only get worse. If and when you need 'me' time or whatever you call it, just let her know that you care about her and arent bored of her, that you just need some time by yourself :) this is because some people with depression tend to read into things too much. Goodluck with everything and I hope your friend starts to get better!Author's response
I tried/am still trying to get her to see someone, but she keeps on saying that it doesn't help anything, she's been to therapists before and she says it just made everything worse... I can't exactly get her to come to my house as I live in Brisbane, I'm down here visiting for a while, but I'm staying with her, we just spent the last two days watching movies, surfing, painting and shopping, but she doesn't seem to be getting into it at all... she used to love painting so much, but now everything just turns out dark and depressing... I'm staying with her for the next five weeks, I just hope it's long enough to help her through this...for anyone who reads sarahkilljoykid's stories...
(#) paradoxicalcynic 2011-12-11
You're being an awesome friend - and you're doing all the right things :) but dont expect it to get better in 5 weeks. That sounds horrible, but depression often lasts for a while. To deal with/get over depression its necessary to understand and overcome what has caused it. That's where a psychologist comes in handy - however, it can be difficult to find the right one. Perhaps your friend might prefer to talk to someone who is young and more like a friend, or maybe someone who is more like a motherly figure..? I have no idea. The most important thing is that she trusts the psychologist.
Its really important that your friend gets professional help. (btw are her parents aware about everything?) I know from personal experience that some sessions with a therapist can be upsetting or make 'you feel worse.' Talking about upsetting or uncomfortable subjects can be very confronting, nonetheless it helps in the long run when learning different perspectives, thinking skills and ways of coping. Perhaps your friend has just never met the right psychologist? Tell her to give it another try.
Another issue is that she might have low seratonin levels, and that certainly doesnt help when trying to make decisions, with sleep, learning and thinking rationally. Has she considered medication? This can make therapy sessions easier; treating the symptoms while the individual deals with the issues that led to the illness.
I dont really know what else to say. Id totally recommend some therapists known to do well in their profession but i live in victoria - i have no idea where your friend lives.
The main thing is that your friend wants to get better, wants to stop feeling like absolute crap and whatnot. Its not going to happen unless she takes the steps to getting some help. (and the fact that she isnt enjoying what she used to love defintely points to depression signal :/). I really hope everything goes okay. If you want any more advice or anything this is my email 7differentways@gmail.com . Im no expert, im just an 18 year old girl, however ive been through this myself, and i got out of it and im much better off than i was :)
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