Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Alone in this bed, house, and head
i named this chapter after the song welcome to my life by simple plan because brendon basically opens up and tells ryan whats wrong and idk but i couldnt get all my ideas on the page fast enough haha thats why i updated this earlier then i thought hope you like it enjoy:)
Ryans POV:
Waiting for Brendon to text me
Hes the only thing that matters anymore … I know ive only known him for 4 days but I mean he actually cares about me unlike most of the people in my life. At least he acts like he cares.
Its Thursday night and im home alone hoping my mom would get home soon. her boyfriend drinks too much, it scares me sometimes. I don’t like it when shes alone with him or when they go out. I don’t like it when he hurts her either. Ive told her she needs to leave him but she insists she loves him.
Hes hit me a lot too. Im scared to hit back. Who knows what hed do. My mom doesn’t know he does this because im too scared to tell her. Ive been trying to build up the courage to swing back. But I can’t. I try to avoid him at all costs. Ive hated him ever since they met.
Maybe I should stop worrying. These cuts in my skin are beginning to get too deep. Im not so selfish to wheree I would leave my mom alone with nothing left other then her abusive boyfriend. But I feel like I need help
I feel like I don’t want to be here anymore… like im not wanted. Meeting Brendon helped me out a little bit. He makes me feel like there’s something to live for. Am I getting too obsessed? Hes just my friend. My best friend. The best one ive had since I was little. I wonder if he feels the same way about me?
im scared hes gunna notice the scars and cuts on my arms. I trust him but I want to tell him I don’t want him to find out like that. I don’t want to tell him yet though I haven’t known him long enough and I don’t want to throw all my feelings on to him. I guess ill just keep it to myself for a while
Brendons POV:
I lost my phone after school today
Im dyeing inside because I just wanna talk to him. Would he think it was weird if I called him from my house phone? Does he miss me as much as I miss him? I have all these feelings but I cant tell him any of them. He’s my best friend.
I was going to call him from my house phone…. But my little sisters been on it all day and wont get off. I told my mom but then she yelled at me.
Im not eating dinner tonight for the fourth time this week. Im starting to get really hungry. My dads at ‘work’ and my moms too stoned to do anything right. All she ever does is yell at me and treat Kristen (my sister) like an angel.
“Kristens off the phone do you still need it” my mom screamed even though I was on the couch across from her watching some gay cartoon.
“yes” I said with a sigh
Am I really gunna call him? Im scared he wont answer or… itll be awkward…. What the hell I thought while dialing him number into the house phone. Is it weird that I already have it memorized?
ring ring ring
Ryan: hello?
Brendon: hey
Ryan: Brendon?
Brendon: ya I lost my phone and I couldn’t find it and I really wanted to talk to you because I missed you and I knew your number and I felt like maybe you missed me as much as I missed you but I don’t know… I think I should stop talking now …. I talk to much
silence
Brendon: hello??
Ryan: I missed you a lot, and I don’t feel really good right now. And I really wanted to talk to you… when you find your phone don’t be surprised if you got like 80 texts from me.
Brendon: really?
Ryan: ya…
Brendon: oh… im really hungry
Ryan: you’re a teenage boy what do you expect… well ive seen you at lunch and you eat A LOT more than the average teenage boy haha what’d you have for dinner?
Brendon: umm… nothing with a sigh in his voice
Ryan: Then why don’t you eat something? Its almost 10!
Brendon: therees nothing to eat
Ryan: where do you live? I shall bring you food!
Brendons POV
I told him about how my parents were and he said hes sorry and that if I ever wanted I could go to him house for dinner because were practically neighbors. I love him. He understands that I need someone to help me through this.
Ryans POV
He just opened up and told me everything…. why cant I do the same for him? Why cant I share my feelings as easily as he shared his? I decided im gunna stop cutting… I have something in life that is here to stay… for good I hope
Ryans POV:
Waiting for Brendon to text me
Hes the only thing that matters anymore … I know ive only known him for 4 days but I mean he actually cares about me unlike most of the people in my life. At least he acts like he cares.
Its Thursday night and im home alone hoping my mom would get home soon. her boyfriend drinks too much, it scares me sometimes. I don’t like it when shes alone with him or when they go out. I don’t like it when he hurts her either. Ive told her she needs to leave him but she insists she loves him.
Hes hit me a lot too. Im scared to hit back. Who knows what hed do. My mom doesn’t know he does this because im too scared to tell her. Ive been trying to build up the courage to swing back. But I can’t. I try to avoid him at all costs. Ive hated him ever since they met.
Maybe I should stop worrying. These cuts in my skin are beginning to get too deep. Im not so selfish to wheree I would leave my mom alone with nothing left other then her abusive boyfriend. But I feel like I need help
I feel like I don’t want to be here anymore… like im not wanted. Meeting Brendon helped me out a little bit. He makes me feel like there’s something to live for. Am I getting too obsessed? Hes just my friend. My best friend. The best one ive had since I was little. I wonder if he feels the same way about me?
im scared hes gunna notice the scars and cuts on my arms. I trust him but I want to tell him I don’t want him to find out like that. I don’t want to tell him yet though I haven’t known him long enough and I don’t want to throw all my feelings on to him. I guess ill just keep it to myself for a while
Brendons POV:
I lost my phone after school today
Im dyeing inside because I just wanna talk to him. Would he think it was weird if I called him from my house phone? Does he miss me as much as I miss him? I have all these feelings but I cant tell him any of them. He’s my best friend.
I was going to call him from my house phone…. But my little sisters been on it all day and wont get off. I told my mom but then she yelled at me.
Im not eating dinner tonight for the fourth time this week. Im starting to get really hungry. My dads at ‘work’ and my moms too stoned to do anything right. All she ever does is yell at me and treat Kristen (my sister) like an angel.
“Kristens off the phone do you still need it” my mom screamed even though I was on the couch across from her watching some gay cartoon.
“yes” I said with a sigh
Am I really gunna call him? Im scared he wont answer or… itll be awkward…. What the hell I thought while dialing him number into the house phone. Is it weird that I already have it memorized?
ring ring ring
Ryan: hello?
Brendon: hey
Ryan: Brendon?
Brendon: ya I lost my phone and I couldn’t find it and I really wanted to talk to you because I missed you and I knew your number and I felt like maybe you missed me as much as I missed you but I don’t know… I think I should stop talking now …. I talk to much
silence
Brendon: hello??
Ryan: I missed you a lot, and I don’t feel really good right now. And I really wanted to talk to you… when you find your phone don’t be surprised if you got like 80 texts from me.
Brendon: really?
Ryan: ya…
Brendon: oh… im really hungry
Ryan: you’re a teenage boy what do you expect… well ive seen you at lunch and you eat A LOT more than the average teenage boy haha what’d you have for dinner?
Brendon: umm… nothing with a sigh in his voice
Ryan: Then why don’t you eat something? Its almost 10!
Brendon: therees nothing to eat
Ryan: where do you live? I shall bring you food!
Brendons POV
I told him about how my parents were and he said hes sorry and that if I ever wanted I could go to him house for dinner because were practically neighbors. I love him. He understands that I need someone to help me through this.
Ryans POV
He just opened up and told me everything…. why cant I do the same for him? Why cant I share my feelings as easily as he shared his? I decided im gunna stop cutting… I have something in life that is here to stay… for good I hope
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