Categories > Original > Humor > A Grave Man
A Grave Man
2 reviewsThis was the script for a movie me and my friends were going to make. After a couple of mishaps we decided to end the project. About a group of guys trying to take back control of their lives ...
1Original
By far the longest scene, depending on how this is received I will post the other scenes, which are smaller.
A Grave Man
All Characters- William (star)
Emily (friend)
Zachary (friend)
Adam (friend)
Lauren (friend of Emily)
Noah (Will's best Friend)
Eddy (Member of the Nameless Graves)
Georgia (Member of the Nameless Graves)
Scene 1:
You have a guy and a girl slow dancing to some fast punk music in an empty room. There are three guys and one girl in a corner watching, sitting next to a stereo.
Will:
(Narrates)
Welcome to my story. My name is Will. I have three good friends and a girl who is only four fifths my girlfriend. I spend most of my times outside of class either in this room having a discussion on what would be the most effective terrorist attack or outside of this room sitting in the hall. A teacher lets us in almost everyday before he goes out to smoke and by a lunch from the restaurant across the street. Two good friends of mine are Adam Oswald, a new kid to this school this year, someone who likes to watch things explode and people fall and Zachary Butman, the pervert of the group who relishes in his own last name. Emily Aldridge, a girl I have liked for years and her good friend Lauren Marler who has hanged out with us longer then Emily. My story is an interesting one, which I hope that you will enjoy. Now one thing you have to realize about me is this. Contrary to what you may believe from what I just said, my life sucks.
Will awkwardly falls on top of the girl at this moment. The other three guys start to burst out laughing.
Will:
(Still Narrating)
And I cannot dance
Emily:
(looking uncomfortable and a little angry)
Can you ever not make a total fool of yourself?
Will mutters an apology and stands up quickly. He stands for a second before falling very awkwardly into her chest. She mutters a yelp and he quickly gets up apologising.
Zach:
(Yelling from other side of the room)
Dude! Calm down! If you want her that bad then please wait till we leave!
Will:
(Yelling back at him, slightly embarrassed)
Shut up man you are not helping!
Zachary:
You don't just step on her feet! You step on your own, too! That's be great for a mosh pit, not slow dancing!
Zachary seems to start a mosh pit by himself. Everyone stares at him
Emily:
(Sounding annoyed)
Zach, you're such a loser!
Zach:
(In an obviously sarcastic voice)
Oh no! Not a loser! I can feel my will to live dying! My raison d'etre is no more! This house is no longer a home! Why?
Emily:
(Sounding like she is getting angry)
Get a life!
Zach:
Why don't you get a life, zombie girl?
Emily:
What?
Zach:
You know, like, you don't have a life and stuff. You walk around going like GRAARGH and everybody else is like AAAAAAH and you get SHOT and stuff.
Emily blinks. She opens her mouth, and tries to say something, but can't find the words.
Zach:
See, she has no proof that she isn't really a zombie in disguise, waiting to eat our brains and gall bladders and get SHOT!
Emily:
How about I make my foot prove it to your balls!
Long Silence
Zach:
(In Defeat)
Fair enough.
Zachary sits down next to the other two. Adam leans over and whispers something into Zach's ear but Zach just shoves him away
Will:
Now that you two are done fighting.
Emily:
What? You want to "fall on top" of me again?
Will:
(Offended)
What the hell is wrong with you? You seem all nice and now you suddenly bite my head of.
Zach:
(From the other side of the room, still sitting down)
At least she didn't bite you during head!
Emily:
(Shouting, making stabbing motions with her finger.)
Screw you, alright? Screw you!
Emily storms out of the room.
Will:
Can you two ever get along?
(Will walks over to the other three and the girl and sits down)
Noah:
So it seems that this is going to be an interesting day eh?
Zach:
Interesting if you like going to funerals
Adam:
I will have you know I quite enjoy them.
Everybody stares at Adam for a second before Will who is sitting next to him starts to slowly move away from him
Will:
What? Did you just say you enjoy funerals?
Adam:
What? Funerals can be fun.
Will:
How?
Adam:
You just have to know how! Okay well first off you dress in white. Everyone stares at you awkwardly and no one looks at you directly.
Zach:
I thought you said you knew how to make it fun. Not how to dress badly.
(Adam stares at him meanly for a minute and there is a pause)
Adam:
Anyway, then during the service you randomly scream out "NO!" at the top of your lungs. If someone says "Excuse me" you say oh sorry and move over to your right. When they are bringing the casket to the car thingy, you start throwing rice at it. Then at the graveyard scream at random times "Zombie!" when they look, you say "False alarm". That's how you make funerals fun.
(Everybody stares at him with disgust)
Zach:
(With a hint of respect)
That is the evilest thing I have ever heard of.
Adam:
No that would be the holocaust.
Zach:
What about the Texas chainsaw massacre?
Will:
Dude you know nothing about the chainsaw massacre. You just saw the film.
Lauren:
In Zach's's defence that movie was awesome.
Will:
Still, Vlad the Impaler was way worse then him. One time the guy invited these like 200 merchants over to his house. I think they were trying to kill him. Anyway the guy fed them, entertained them, then impaled every single one of them!
Adam:
What a waste of food!
Lauren:
Did Vlad the Impaler ever do anything other than impaling people?
Will:
Well, I think he burned down a church or two, and I guess he did suck some blood.
Lauren:
How do you know that?
Will:
He was kinda Dracula.
Zach:
So how many times did you do this funeral thing?
Adam:
Once when my girlfriend's great aunt or something died. She wanted me to come for "moral support." I ended up getting kicked out halfway through, I got beaten up badly by these two guys and I didn't have a girlfriend after that. But I also had so much fun!
Lauren:
Your such a terrible person!
Will:
That is what Adam is, a terrible person. He seems to love seeing other people in pain.
Lauren:
What? So is he like a sadomasochist?
Will:
I think the term you're looking for is just sadist.
Zach:
I wouldn't say sadism. That would be too severe. More like Schadenfreudist.
Lauren:
Schwagefroogenwhatsit? Who are you, the Swedish chef? Bork bork bork bork bork bork?
Zach:
Someone who takes pleasure from other people's misfortune.
Adam:
(Sounding Offended)
Hey! It isn't like you people don't like seeing other people falling down! Yourself included Lauren.
Lauren:
Name one time!
Will:
How about that time when you and Emily pushed Zach into the canal?
Lauren:
It was just one time!
Adam:
Or that time you threw him off the balcony?
Lauren:
It was just the second floor?
Zach:
Or that time that you murdered a hooker and cut off her hands?
Lauren:
It was just- hey, now you're making things up! And I didn't ruin any funerals!
Adam:
Look everybody enjoys seeing other people hurt. It is human nature. I just feel like expressing it more then most! Everyone is a little bit of a terrible person.
Will:
(Speaking to Adam.)
But you're freaking evil.
Lauren:
Okay guys. It's been fun like taking an HIV test is fun. I better go and see how Emmie is, see you later.
Zach:
(In a seductive voice)
Oh yes I will be seeing you later.
(Lauren turns around and throws a book at Zach's head)
A Grave Man
All Characters- William (star)
Emily (friend)
Zachary (friend)
Adam (friend)
Lauren (friend of Emily)
Noah (Will's best Friend)
Eddy (Member of the Nameless Graves)
Georgia (Member of the Nameless Graves)
Scene 1:
You have a guy and a girl slow dancing to some fast punk music in an empty room. There are three guys and one girl in a corner watching, sitting next to a stereo.
Will:
(Narrates)
Welcome to my story. My name is Will. I have three good friends and a girl who is only four fifths my girlfriend. I spend most of my times outside of class either in this room having a discussion on what would be the most effective terrorist attack or outside of this room sitting in the hall. A teacher lets us in almost everyday before he goes out to smoke and by a lunch from the restaurant across the street. Two good friends of mine are Adam Oswald, a new kid to this school this year, someone who likes to watch things explode and people fall and Zachary Butman, the pervert of the group who relishes in his own last name. Emily Aldridge, a girl I have liked for years and her good friend Lauren Marler who has hanged out with us longer then Emily. My story is an interesting one, which I hope that you will enjoy. Now one thing you have to realize about me is this. Contrary to what you may believe from what I just said, my life sucks.
Will awkwardly falls on top of the girl at this moment. The other three guys start to burst out laughing.
Will:
(Still Narrating)
And I cannot dance
Emily:
(looking uncomfortable and a little angry)
Can you ever not make a total fool of yourself?
Will mutters an apology and stands up quickly. He stands for a second before falling very awkwardly into her chest. She mutters a yelp and he quickly gets up apologising.
Zach:
(Yelling from other side of the room)
Dude! Calm down! If you want her that bad then please wait till we leave!
Will:
(Yelling back at him, slightly embarrassed)
Shut up man you are not helping!
Zachary:
You don't just step on her feet! You step on your own, too! That's be great for a mosh pit, not slow dancing!
Zachary seems to start a mosh pit by himself. Everyone stares at him
Emily:
(Sounding annoyed)
Zach, you're such a loser!
Zach:
(In an obviously sarcastic voice)
Oh no! Not a loser! I can feel my will to live dying! My raison d'etre is no more! This house is no longer a home! Why?
Emily:
(Sounding like she is getting angry)
Get a life!
Zach:
Why don't you get a life, zombie girl?
Emily:
What?
Zach:
You know, like, you don't have a life and stuff. You walk around going like GRAARGH and everybody else is like AAAAAAH and you get SHOT and stuff.
Emily blinks. She opens her mouth, and tries to say something, but can't find the words.
Zach:
See, she has no proof that she isn't really a zombie in disguise, waiting to eat our brains and gall bladders and get SHOT!
Emily:
How about I make my foot prove it to your balls!
Long Silence
Zach:
(In Defeat)
Fair enough.
Zachary sits down next to the other two. Adam leans over and whispers something into Zach's ear but Zach just shoves him away
Will:
Now that you two are done fighting.
Emily:
What? You want to "fall on top" of me again?
Will:
(Offended)
What the hell is wrong with you? You seem all nice and now you suddenly bite my head of.
Zach:
(From the other side of the room, still sitting down)
At least she didn't bite you during head!
Emily:
(Shouting, making stabbing motions with her finger.)
Screw you, alright? Screw you!
Emily storms out of the room.
Will:
Can you two ever get along?
(Will walks over to the other three and the girl and sits down)
Noah:
So it seems that this is going to be an interesting day eh?
Zach:
Interesting if you like going to funerals
Adam:
I will have you know I quite enjoy them.
Everybody stares at Adam for a second before Will who is sitting next to him starts to slowly move away from him
Will:
What? Did you just say you enjoy funerals?
Adam:
What? Funerals can be fun.
Will:
How?
Adam:
You just have to know how! Okay well first off you dress in white. Everyone stares at you awkwardly and no one looks at you directly.
Zach:
I thought you said you knew how to make it fun. Not how to dress badly.
(Adam stares at him meanly for a minute and there is a pause)
Adam:
Anyway, then during the service you randomly scream out "NO!" at the top of your lungs. If someone says "Excuse me" you say oh sorry and move over to your right. When they are bringing the casket to the car thingy, you start throwing rice at it. Then at the graveyard scream at random times "Zombie!" when they look, you say "False alarm". That's how you make funerals fun.
(Everybody stares at him with disgust)
Zach:
(With a hint of respect)
That is the evilest thing I have ever heard of.
Adam:
No that would be the holocaust.
Zach:
What about the Texas chainsaw massacre?
Will:
Dude you know nothing about the chainsaw massacre. You just saw the film.
Lauren:
In Zach's's defence that movie was awesome.
Will:
Still, Vlad the Impaler was way worse then him. One time the guy invited these like 200 merchants over to his house. I think they were trying to kill him. Anyway the guy fed them, entertained them, then impaled every single one of them!
Adam:
What a waste of food!
Lauren:
Did Vlad the Impaler ever do anything other than impaling people?
Will:
Well, I think he burned down a church or two, and I guess he did suck some blood.
Lauren:
How do you know that?
Will:
He was kinda Dracula.
Zach:
So how many times did you do this funeral thing?
Adam:
Once when my girlfriend's great aunt or something died. She wanted me to come for "moral support." I ended up getting kicked out halfway through, I got beaten up badly by these two guys and I didn't have a girlfriend after that. But I also had so much fun!
Lauren:
Your such a terrible person!
Will:
That is what Adam is, a terrible person. He seems to love seeing other people in pain.
Lauren:
What? So is he like a sadomasochist?
Will:
I think the term you're looking for is just sadist.
Zach:
I wouldn't say sadism. That would be too severe. More like Schadenfreudist.
Lauren:
Schwagefroogenwhatsit? Who are you, the Swedish chef? Bork bork bork bork bork bork?
Zach:
Someone who takes pleasure from other people's misfortune.
Adam:
(Sounding Offended)
Hey! It isn't like you people don't like seeing other people falling down! Yourself included Lauren.
Lauren:
Name one time!
Will:
How about that time when you and Emily pushed Zach into the canal?
Lauren:
It was just one time!
Adam:
Or that time you threw him off the balcony?
Lauren:
It was just the second floor?
Zach:
Or that time that you murdered a hooker and cut off her hands?
Lauren:
It was just- hey, now you're making things up! And I didn't ruin any funerals!
Adam:
Look everybody enjoys seeing other people hurt. It is human nature. I just feel like expressing it more then most! Everyone is a little bit of a terrible person.
Will:
(Speaking to Adam.)
But you're freaking evil.
Lauren:
Okay guys. It's been fun like taking an HIV test is fun. I better go and see how Emmie is, see you later.
Zach:
(In a seductive voice)
Oh yes I will be seeing you later.
(Lauren turns around and throws a book at Zach's head)
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