Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We're Just Two Men As God Had Made Us
Chapter 9
Frank's POV
I sure hoped nothing was wrong with Gerard. Now that I thought about it though, there were times over the last few months when he had seemed... off. Not himself. I prayed that the pain had been aone-time thing. I mean, he hadn't complained of it before today. Ugh. I needed to call Mikey. I dialed up the younger Way on my cell, waiting for him to pick up. When he did, he seemed surprised that it was me.
"Frank? Aren't you with Gerard?"
"Yeah, I was, but I sent him to the hospital. He said that he had this weird chest pain. Has he seemed alright at home lately?"
"Huh. Well, he's had this really hardcore cough when he wakes up, but I bet it's just a cold."
"But Mikey-"
"Look, Frank, I'm with Alicia right now, so I can't talk. But don't worry. I'm sure everything is fine."
"I'm just afraid he's not going to be okay."
"This is Gerard we're talking about. Gerard is always o-fucking-kay." Mikey laughed at the reference. I sighed.
"Bye, Mikey. Have fun with your girl."
Gerard's POV
I felt a wave of nausea pass over me at Dr. Wade's words: "I'm afraid you may have lung cancer." No. I couldn't have cancer. Cancer means chemo, which leads to hair loss and sickness (and half the time it doesn't even work). And then what? I die? If I died, I would leave Frank. Oh god, Frankie. How would I tell him if I did end up having the cancer? I couldn't-
Calm down, Gerard. Think clearly. Wade said you might have the cancer. Might. As in, a possibility. Not for sure. They still need to do tests. And even if you do have it, chemotherapy can cure you. Maybe. If you're lucky.
I'll be lucky. I'm Gerard Way. Nothing can touch me. Right.
But Gerard. When have you ever been so lucky before? You’re not going to be saved by the chemo. What have you ever done to deserve the cure? You’re not that special. You’re going to die. You’re going to leave Frank alone in this world. All because you were too naïve and stubborn to take anyone’s advice to stop smoking.
Stop it! I have to be okay. I have to. I’m not done here yet. There are too many things left unsaid, undone.
But Gerard-
No. I shook my head, trying to clear the voices that pushed themselves into my mind. I looked up. Wade had gone, leaving me to my misery. My eyes travelled around the room frantically. I couldn’t take this. It was all too much. I had to get out of this room, out of the hospital. The walls seemed to be closing in on me. I had to go. Now. I leapt off the metal table and ripped the door open. As I hurried down the hall, I heard Wade’s footsteps coming towards me. It would be only a second before-
“Mr. Way! Where are you headed? We need to do the MRI as soon as possible.”
I came to a halt and reluctantly turned back around. I needed to get this over with. “Fine. Point me in the right direction,” I told Wade. He nodded sharply and led me back down the hall and into another room. This room was much larger, but I still felt the panic rising up inside me at the sight of all the medical equipment.
“Mr. Way, is there anyone you’d like to call before beginning?”
A million thoughts flew through my head. Who should I tell? Or rather, should I tell anyone at all? If I didn’t have cancer, I didn’t want to worry anyone for no reason. And even if I did end up having it, I’m not sure I wanted to tell anyone anyways. Even Frankie. If it wasn’t terminal, there’d be no point. And if it was… well. If I was going to go down, I was going down like I had lived: loud and without pity. That’s the last thing I wanted at the end: pity. I made my decision right there. No matter what happened, no one was ever going to know I had cancer up until my last hours. Assuming I did have it.
I looked back at Dr. Wade. “No. there’s no one.”
He nodded at my wedding ring. “Not even your wife?”
“Husband,” I quickly corrected. “And no. He’ll only worry.”
Wade only reacted slightly to my correction. Then he looked puzzled. “With good reason he’d worry,” he said darkly.
I sighed. I suddenly felt very tired. “Let’s just get this over with, okay? I need to know if I have cancer.” Wade looked at me for a moment before leading me to a large, tunnel like machine.
“Okay. Let’s get started.”
Frank's POV
I sure hoped nothing was wrong with Gerard. Now that I thought about it though, there were times over the last few months when he had seemed... off. Not himself. I prayed that the pain had been aone-time thing. I mean, he hadn't complained of it before today. Ugh. I needed to call Mikey. I dialed up the younger Way on my cell, waiting for him to pick up. When he did, he seemed surprised that it was me.
"Frank? Aren't you with Gerard?"
"Yeah, I was, but I sent him to the hospital. He said that he had this weird chest pain. Has he seemed alright at home lately?"
"Huh. Well, he's had this really hardcore cough when he wakes up, but I bet it's just a cold."
"But Mikey-"
"Look, Frank, I'm with Alicia right now, so I can't talk. But don't worry. I'm sure everything is fine."
"I'm just afraid he's not going to be okay."
"This is Gerard we're talking about. Gerard is always o-fucking-kay." Mikey laughed at the reference. I sighed.
"Bye, Mikey. Have fun with your girl."
Gerard's POV
I felt a wave of nausea pass over me at Dr. Wade's words: "I'm afraid you may have lung cancer." No. I couldn't have cancer. Cancer means chemo, which leads to hair loss and sickness (and half the time it doesn't even work). And then what? I die? If I died, I would leave Frank. Oh god, Frankie. How would I tell him if I did end up having the cancer? I couldn't-
Calm down, Gerard. Think clearly. Wade said you might have the cancer. Might. As in, a possibility. Not for sure. They still need to do tests. And even if you do have it, chemotherapy can cure you. Maybe. If you're lucky.
I'll be lucky. I'm Gerard Way. Nothing can touch me. Right.
But Gerard. When have you ever been so lucky before? You’re not going to be saved by the chemo. What have you ever done to deserve the cure? You’re not that special. You’re going to die. You’re going to leave Frank alone in this world. All because you were too naïve and stubborn to take anyone’s advice to stop smoking.
Stop it! I have to be okay. I have to. I’m not done here yet. There are too many things left unsaid, undone.
But Gerard-
No. I shook my head, trying to clear the voices that pushed themselves into my mind. I looked up. Wade had gone, leaving me to my misery. My eyes travelled around the room frantically. I couldn’t take this. It was all too much. I had to get out of this room, out of the hospital. The walls seemed to be closing in on me. I had to go. Now. I leapt off the metal table and ripped the door open. As I hurried down the hall, I heard Wade’s footsteps coming towards me. It would be only a second before-
“Mr. Way! Where are you headed? We need to do the MRI as soon as possible.”
I came to a halt and reluctantly turned back around. I needed to get this over with. “Fine. Point me in the right direction,” I told Wade. He nodded sharply and led me back down the hall and into another room. This room was much larger, but I still felt the panic rising up inside me at the sight of all the medical equipment.
“Mr. Way, is there anyone you’d like to call before beginning?”
A million thoughts flew through my head. Who should I tell? Or rather, should I tell anyone at all? If I didn’t have cancer, I didn’t want to worry anyone for no reason. And even if I did end up having it, I’m not sure I wanted to tell anyone anyways. Even Frankie. If it wasn’t terminal, there’d be no point. And if it was… well. If I was going to go down, I was going down like I had lived: loud and without pity. That’s the last thing I wanted at the end: pity. I made my decision right there. No matter what happened, no one was ever going to know I had cancer up until my last hours. Assuming I did have it.
I looked back at Dr. Wade. “No. there’s no one.”
He nodded at my wedding ring. “Not even your wife?”
“Husband,” I quickly corrected. “And no. He’ll only worry.”
Wade only reacted slightly to my correction. Then he looked puzzled. “With good reason he’d worry,” he said darkly.
I sighed. I suddenly felt very tired. “Let’s just get this over with, okay? I need to know if I have cancer.” Wade looked at me for a moment before leading me to a large, tunnel like machine.
“Okay. Let’s get started.”
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