FicWad

So kids, here it is, the last chapter.
As is customary I have to thank you all first for being so incredible throughout this endeavour, rating and reviewing and never failing to make me smile.
Also I have to thank FlyingSmoke personally for asking me to write this in the first place. When I was asked to write a frerard based on the Californian gold rush I didn’t have a bloody clue what to write and to be honest I wasn’t expecting it to come out too good, but I’ve surprised myself and hopefully you guys too and I had a ton of fun writing this. I feel sad to see it end but it was a good ride wasn’t it?
I really hope you like this final instalment guys, and please do rate and review one last time :] I have a new story planned for the new year, it’s as of yet untitled but it’s gonna be a heated S&M frerard so keep your eyes peeled for that ;) I’ve also had a request for a Waycest which looks like its gonna be a 3 chaptered thing which I’m gonna try and get written within the next week or so :]
In the mean time, if we never speak again then enjoy this last chapter. And FlyingSmoke – here’s to you.
xo


It had taken three months for Frank to get to Hangtown. Three long, exhausting months spent riding in a rickety wagon that made his bones ache and his teeth chatter. At the time he had felt nothing but growing despair the further away from home he got, wondering how long it would be before he returned, what he would find when he got to Hangtown. Would he make friends? Would he get enough gold? Would his mother and grandmother still be waiting for him when he returned? All of that now felt a million years ago, and as Frank travelled back towards his home he reflected on what he had been through and thought about how much he had grown.

The months he had spent in Hangtown had been good and bad. There had been moments when it had felt like heaven, but more often than not it had felt like all seven circles of hell. Frank had had to learn how to cope and as he sat squished between two large, rather smelly man he thought that maybe he hadn’t coped as well as he could have.

Sitting here now, in another rickety wagon that made his bones ache and his teeth chatter, he felt almost stunned that he had even made it out alive. It seemed that everything that had gone wrong he had only managed to get through out of sheer luck. Trying to hide a relationship with Gerard, getting enough gold, almost being raped by Sam and then hiding out for months... he hadn’t got through any of that with a single ounce of skill. He had just been flying by the seat of his pants and never had he really tactically thought about what he needed to do.

If he had, perhaps Ben wouldn’t be dead right now.

Ben was constantly on Frank’s mind as he travelled across states back to New Jersey. The man had been like Frank’s guardian angel in that place, helping him and keeping him alive for no real reason at all. Ben had been bringing Frank food long before Frank had even spoken to him, something no one else would ever have done. If Ben hadn’t been there for him Frank would have been long dead. And how was such kindness, such unselfishness repaid?

Frank couldn’t help but feel that this was his fault. That it was somehow a punishment off God for being queer. Maybe God had wanted Frank to really suffer, made him think he had been given an angel and then cruelly taken him away. Maybe it was punishment for everything Frank and Gerard had done. Maybe Frank thought he was getting out of hell by going home but in fact those never ending fires were still waiting for him...

Maybe...

But maybe that wasn’t the case at all. As much as Frank thought about it he couldn’t help but think that God would never do something like that. Even if he and Gerard were destined for hell, that was no reason for a man as evil as Sam to ruin Frank’s life. And it was definitely no reason for him to kill someone as kind as Ben. The God Frank believed in simply would not do that.

Frank sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair as he yawned. He had been travelling for two and a half months now and he was coming to the final stretch of his journey. By the morning they would have made it to a dock where they would go their separate ways. Frank would get on a ship to Jersey and all he would have to do then would be to brave the sea and then he’d be home. Back with his mother. Back with his grandmother... Back with Gerard.

>X<

Gerard sighed as he gazed out over the ocean, a sea breeze gently ruffling his hair as he looked out over the waves.

He had been coming to the docks every time he knew a ship coming in from California was arriving and had watched in hope for Frank to appear. But every time he was left disappointed, scanning the faces of the men walking down onto the dock, his heart sinking the longer he waited until finally crushing down like a rock on his stomach when the final man disembarked, Frank missing amongst them.

Gerard thought about Frank every day, especially at night. He missed him more and more every day, sometimes missing him so bad he would convince himself if he had to be without him another minute he would die. There had been plenty a night when he would walk to the dock and just sit watching the ocean, even when he knew there were no ships coming in. He would sit anyway, just in case a secret one was arriving or something. Just in case Frank came home...

Another ship from California had just come in and Gerard had watched with baited breath only to be disappointed again. He sighed as he pulled his overcoat tighter around himself and stared out over the choppy waves. He wondered where Frank was now, wondered whether he was thinking about him. Was he still in Hangtown? Was he on his way home? Did he miss him at all?

“Find what you’re looking for?” Gerard jumped in surprise and turned quickly to stare at his brother in shock, Mikey smiling sadly at him as he leaned heavily on a walking cane, the wind making his cheeks pink with cold and Gerard quickly fussed over him, buttoning up the top button on his over coat and pulling his scarf so it covered more of his neck.

“Mikey, what are you doing here?” He gasped, fussing over his brother’s clothes until Mikey smacked his hands away with a fond smile.

“I came to see where you’ve been going all the time. I never realised you were such a fan of the ocean.” He smirked, shivering a little in the chill winter air and smiling as he cupped his brother’s face, making Gerard look at him as he tried to avoid his gaze. “You’ve been coming here almost every day haven’t you? What are you looking for?” He asked curiously, his eyes wide with intrigue and Gerard shrugged out of his grip.

“I... Nothing.” He shrugged, Mikey rolling his eyes and hooking his arm around Gerard’s as he steered him away from the sea and began walking back into the town.

“Oh come off it Gee, I know you better than you think.” He teased lightly, Gerard keeping his pace slow beside his younger brother so that Mikey could easily stroll beside him. Although he was much better he would never be as strong and healthy as he could be and there were days, especially in this chill weather, where he really seemed to be weakening. But Mikey had never felt better and he had his brother to thank. He had noticed that there was something bothering Gerard, and he wanted nothing more than to know what it was so that he could help Gerard just like he had helped him.

“What is it about the docks you like so much huh?” Mikey pushed when Gerard kept silent, walking slowly beside him as Mikey’s cane tapped on the floor with each small step.

“It’s not the docks I like...” Gerard shrugged, keeping his gaze fixed ahead as he felt Mikey staring at the side of his face. His heart stuttered a little and he bit his lip, hunching his shoulders up as a cold wind lapped around them and Mikey huddled more into his side. “I’m just...”

“Waiting for someone.” Mikey finished for him, smirking when Gerard stared at him in shock. “What? Oh come on Gee, why else would you be there all the time? Who is it? A woman?” He asked, grinning playfully and Gerard couldn’t help but smirk back a little and shove him.

“I... No. Not a woman...” He said slowly, wondering what he should tell Mikey. He loved him to pieces, and he really would love to tell him the truth. It would make things easier for him if he had someone he could talk to about it, someone who could understand how he felt. But Mikey could never understand. Not his beautiful, innocent brother who was so happily married to a gorgeous woman with a beautiful daughter to show for it. How could he ever understand?

“A man?” Mikey smiled, Gerard nodding.

“Yeah. Erm... Frank, actually.” He said softly, trying to keep things vague and avoid Mikey’s gaze as they weaved through back alleys and narrow streets to make their way home quickly. People were starting to desert the streets now, rushing indoors from the bitter wind outside. The clouds above were black and ominous and Mikey gazed up at them as they walked.

“Looks like it might snow.” He noted, his breath appearing in the air like speech bubbles and Gerard nodded his agreement, relieved by the conversation change but Mikey wasn’t a fool and he quickly reverted it back. “Is Frank going to be back in New Jersey by Christmas?” He asked softly, Gerard shrugging and Mikey would have had to be blind to not see the flash of pain in his brother’s eyes.

“You miss him a lot don’t you.” He stated softly, Gerard glancing at him and pursing his lips slightly before giving a short, sharp nod of the head. “So you go to the docks every day to see if he’s on any of the boats... He must mean a lot to you.”

“He was my only friend in Hangtown. He made the place bearable, I owe him a lot. He was a good man and a good friend, that’s all.” Gerard said curtly, the words sounding somewhat rehearsed and hollow and Mikey looked sadly at him as he squeezed his arm.

“I never suggested it was more than that.” He pointed out softly, tugging Gerard to a halt only a short walk from their home. Gerard glanced at him and tried to continue walking, but Mikey was persistent and soon the older man had no choice but to reluctantly stand still and face his sibling.

“What?”

“Did he not reply to your letter?” Mikey asked gently, Gerard blushing... or was that just the cold against his cheeks?

“I... I haven’t had a reply yet.”

“Do you worry about him?”

“I have no reason to.”

“If you love him you do. It’s only natural to worry about people you love when you don’t hear from them for a long time.” Mikey shrugged, Gerard stammering a little before scowling at Mikey’s calm, open face.

“I – He – Love! How dare you suggest such... such... I...You mean to say... You think that I... To even suggest that I could be –”

“Queer?” Mikey finished for him, shrugging at Gerard’s bewildered look. “Sorry, you were rambling. I thought I’d help out.” He grinned, Gerard opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish but nothing came out so Mikey continued. “I only said you might love him. Friends can love each other, I never said you were queer. Though your reaction speaks volumes.”

“My reaction!?” Gerard squeaked, Mikey laughing a little and kissing his cheek.

“Gerard, you’re my big brother. You helped raise me, you taught me a lot, you saved my life. You’ve given so much to the family, made us wealthy... I’m not suggesting I think anything about who you do or don’t love. But I just want you to know that after everything you’ve done for me I wouldn’t push you away for... silly reasons.” Mikey shrugged it off and continued walking, Gerard following him in a slight daze.

He didn’t know what to say... what to think. Was Mikey trying to tell him he wouldn’t care if he was queer? Gerard found it hard to believe, had never once allowed himself to believe that any of his family would accept him. He had long since resigned himself to the fact that he would eventually have to find a woman to marry and father children. He had never allowed himself to dream it could be any other way.

“B – But Mikey, pushing me away for being queer isn’t a silly reason –”

“It is to me.” Mikey interrupted him, turning to frown at him slightly as they entered their street. “Would you disown me if I said I liked men?” He demanded, Gerard just gawping at him. The idea of Mikey liking men was so absurd that he couldn’t imagine it at all, let alone answer him. “And besides, Alicia agrees with me so it’s not just me.” He shrugged, Gerard’s jaw dropping so far it was a wonder it didn’t fall off altogether.

“You... You’ve told Alicia I’m queer!?” He hissed, striding after Mikey who laughed a little.

“Not quite. I speculated... She agreed with me. And I can’t help but notice you haven’t denied it yet.” He added, smirking at Gerard with such playful eyes that the older man couldn’t help but smile timidly back.

“Well... Well I... You wouldn’t believe me even if I did.”

“True.” Mikey grinned, laughing as he nudged Gerard softly. “So, is Frank the same? Does he like you back I mean?” He asked softly, Gerard blushing deeply and biting his lip as he looked up at the blackened sky, his heart aching a little.

“Yeah he... he does. Well, he did at least...” He sighed, watching the first flurries of snow start to fall as he followed Mikey into the house where a fire was cracking in the grate. The conversation seemed to die on the doorstep, Mikey greeting Alicia with a wide smile and kissing her softly in the kitchen doorway as Gerard wandered to the living room to play with Rose, not another word being said about Gerard’s daily visits to the docks or his questionable sexuality.

>X<

Frank stared out over the ocean as he laid his arms on the side rail of the ship, a soft breeze fluttering his hair. He could taste salt when he ran his tongue over his lips, the wind freezing cold but Frank barely noticed. He was not a sailor and he never could be, he was the only man on the ship who was still sea sick after a week of sailing and though the other men found it highly amusing, Frank was sick of being sick.

The sea was not exactly rough but Frank longed for dry land, though he knew as soon as he got back home it would all be worth it. His heart felt as if it was constantly racing as he thought about New Jersey and how amazing it was going to be when he got back to his old home and saw his family again. How good it was going to feel when he showed them how much gold he had... how happy they would be when he bought them a house that wasn’t falling apart, be able to take them out and actually afford food to eat. Coal to keep them warm. He wasn’t going to buy anything ridiculously extravagant, he didn’t want a mansion and caviar and servants. He just wanted enough to live by, and he had more than enough gold to keep them comfortable for years, all he’d need was a little job to make sure he never ran out.

Frank decided that would be his first priority. If Gerard wasn’t waiting on the dock like he had promised then Frank would simply go home and sort his life out. Then maybe he would search for the older man...

That’s what Frank told himself anyway, though deep down he knew that if Gerard wasn’t on the dock then the disappointment would crush him. He would go home and then spend every day desperately asking around for the man, searching for him always until he found him again. He worried constantly that Gerard would have changed, wouldn’t want to see him anymore. But whenever Frank had a quiet moment to himself on the boat he would hide in his bunk and find out the letter Gerard had last sent him and sit and read it over and over again.

Gerard still loved him... he had to.

>X<

It took ninety four days of travelling, half on land and then finally by ship before New Jersey came into sight. Ninety four days since Frank had escaped... ninety four days since Ben had died... Ninety four terrifying, tiring, lonely days before the one thing Frank had wanted to see for so long appeared out of the sea fog like heaven itself.

Frank had managed to not throw up for an entire week before the ship came into dock at Jersey and as the gangplank was laid down onto the dock Frank was first in line to disembark. His one small satchel was the only bag he had, holding nothing but gold and his letter from Gerard, his only clothes the ones he was wearing that he had had to wash in sea water like all the other men. He stunk, his hair was greasy and too long, he had cuts on his jaw from a shaky, sickly shave he had attempted the day before and he longed to have a real wash. And yet he was happier than he had been in a long time as he stumbled down the gangplank onto the familiar docks.

It was only a week until Christmas and the day was bitterly cold. There was a freezing wind blowing and a few flakes of snow were falling onto the already snow lined streets. There were sailors everywhere going about their work, ignoring the forty-niners that trundled through the streets in dirty clothes that were nowhere near warm enough for such weather. It was a familiar sight by now, men coming back from the gold rush, looking like tramps but everyone knew that in no time at all they’d be living like kings; that no one paid any attention to them at all.

Frank shivered violently and pulled his clothes tighter around himself, bunching up the collar of his shirt to raise more over his neck since he had no scarf, no overcoat, no mittens... in fact, he knew if he didn’t get out of the cold soon then he’d end up being seriously ill. He had such a terrible immune system and he had already suffered pneumonia before and it was not something he wished to repeat.

Frank walked quickly up to the harbour wall with the other men who had travelled from California with him, the men chatting brightly around him, happy to be home, but Frank kept silent as he stared about at the people walking through the streets.

There were very few civilians around, only sailors and men arriving back from voyages and Frank felt his heart race a little as he stopped on the pavement to gaze about. He felt as if his heart was rising into his throat the more he stared about, trying not to get too hopeful but he knew it was already too late for that. As his wide eyes scanned every unfamiliar face before him he could feel the lump in his throat threatening to suffocate him, tears starting to sting in his eyes.

He knew it was ridiculous to actually believe Gerard would be waiting for him, the older man couldn’t really come by every day just to see if he had arrived. That was one hell of a commitment to keep to and it was probably just a figure of speech that Frank had taken literally. Why would Gerard come here on the unlikely chance he’d see Frank when he had his family to catch up with.

Frank sighed and shivered again, his breath coming out in clouds infront of his face and he bowed his head in defeat. Gerard was nowhere to be seen and it was too cold to stand around in the hope he would see him. He would simply have to live with it for now and go in search of the older man once had settled back at home.

Frank wiped a stray tear away as he began making his way down the street, people rushing about around him to get out of the cold but Frank couldn’t bring himself to match their strides. He knew it was stupid but he felt so incredibly disappointed he just couldn’t find the energy to summon back his earlier excitement.

Rapid footsteps began nearing behind him and Frank scowled to himself, tensing and shivering violently in the cold as he dawdled down the pavement. Whoever was rushing behind him could either slow down or walk round him, he certainly wasn’t going to speed up. He had no rush to get anywhere –

Frank jumped in shock when warmth suddenly surrounded him like a blanket, a heavy, warm overcoat being draped around his shoulders from behind so that his heart skipped a beat before racing again.

“Jesus Frankie, you’re gonna catch your death wandering around in those clothes.”

Frank tensed and stilled as he squeezed his eyes shut, shaking even more though it was nothing to do with the cold this time. That voice was like his own personal sanctuary and for a second he couldn’t believe he had heard it, but the weight of the expensive overcoat against his skinny frame would not go away, it was no illusion, and when he turned round to face the man behind him Gerard’s grin was more real than ever.

“G – Gerard...” Frank croaked, his voice almost inaudible as the force of his emotions almost strangled him and he couldn’t help but sob as he fell forward into strong arms and buried his face against Gerard’s chest. “O – Oh God... Y – You’re actually h – here...” He whimpered through chattering teeth, Gerard’s soft chuckle making his heart stutter.

“I said I would be. God, I can’t believe you’re here... I’ve waited so long.” Gerard sighed, holding Frank tight as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. Snow was falling gently around them, freezing them both but it at least meant people were in such a rush to escape the cold around them no one really paid them any attention. They just looked like old friends reuniting and Gerard held back the urge to kiss Frank as he held him close.

“Come on, we need to get out of this cold. Come with me.” He smiled after a long moment of just embracing his lover and Frank nodded mutely, avoiding Gerard’s eyes slightly. He knew if he looked at him properly he’d be unable to hold back his tears and he didn’t want to cry in the middle of the street, hell, he didn’t want to cry at all. He wasn’t some emotional woman.

Gerard kept a hand casually on Frank’s shoulder, leading him down the street to a nearby tavern where many men were taking refuge. There was music and laughter coming from inside and an attractive golden light from a fire. Frank smiled gratefully as they ducked through the doorway, heat enveloping them instantly and Frank shivered away the last of the chill that gripped him.

Inside the tavern was full, but to Frank’s surprise Gerard simply took him straight to the bar and asked the man there for a room. He told him it was needed only for a couple hours and that a bath needed to be filled for his ‘young friend’. The barman looked confused at first but didn’t question it when Gerard pushed some money into his hand and he assured him he’d have the serving girls fill a tub immediately.

“G – Gerard I’m fine r –really.” Frank whimpered but Gerard only smiled at him and walked up to the room they had been given the key to, his smile so breath-takingly beautiful to Frank who had spent months in what felt like constant misery that he just couldn’t bring himself to protest anymore.

Frank followed the older man down a hallway of rooms, waiting as he unlocked the door before following him inside. The room was nothing special, but it had a fire crackling merrily in the fireplace and a large four poster bed. There was an ensuite attached with a copper tub with clawed feet inside it and the two men had barely been in the room two minutes before the young serving girls from the bar came in carrying buckets of boiling water.

Frank bit his lip as he stood aside with Gerard, catching his reflection in a mirror and blushing slightly. He looked awful and he was suddenly grateful Gerard had asked for a bath to be prepared. He seriously needed to wash his hair and clean his grubby skin, he felt hideous compared to how gorgeous Gerard was looking.

The older man was looking amazing and Frank knew it was a product of not just his gold but also just being home in general. His skin seemed to be glowing and his black hair was shorter than usual though still long enough to brush against his neck. His hazel eyes were sparkling as he gazed at Frank and his smile made the shorter man’s heart melt. He was wearing expensive looking clothes, tight black trousers and a white shirt, his over coat black and a red scarf that was around his neck now folded neatly on the bed.

Frank felt hideous compared to his lover and his heart was hammering as he gazed at him. Gerard seemed thrilled to see him but Frank wondered if he still loved him as much as he did. Wondered if now they were back home they would only ever be friends. Frank felt like a tramp stood next to a prince and he didn’t think that would ever change.

“Thank you ladies.” Gerard smiled widely as the final bucket of water was poured into the copper tub, cold this time to balance out the temperature. The girls smiled and nodded, giggling a little as they glanced at Gerard on their way out the door. Gerard smiled serenely back, closing the door behind them and turning to Frank with a grin.

“Come on, get undressed.” He chuckled when Frank just stood shyly in the centre of the room, looking timidly at him. Gerard gazed at him for a long moment before sighing and walking up to him, gently cupping his face and smoothing his thumbs across his cheeks. His heart raced and his fingertips tingled, his face falling serious as he gazed into Frank’s beautiful hazel eyes.

“I’ve missed you so much Frank...” He whispered, noticing how the sparkle he remembered was missing from his lovers eyes and he mewled softly as he held him close and peppered his face in tender kisses. “What’s the matter my love? Are you not pleased to see me?” He whimpered, Frank shaking his head quickly and burying his face into Gerard’s chest as he wrapped his arms tight around him.

“Of course I am... I started to believe I’d never see you again. I missed you so much.” He breathed, starting to cry softly as familiar strong arms cradled him close and Gerard hushed him gently, stroking his hair as he kissed over his neck and cheek.

“Oh Frankie... Frankie shh... Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, love.” He whispered, cupping Frank’s face and capturing his lips in a tender kiss.

As soon as their lips touched Frank’s tears came to a gentle stop, his sobbing fading as he sunk into Gerard’s arms and mewled quietly against his lips. His heart was racing so fast in his chest it felt as if it could explode altogether and he tangled his fingers deep into the older man’s hair as Gerard kissed him soft and slow. Working their lips together so tenderly it was like he was sipping against Frank’s mouth, purring softly as their tongues touched just barely before Gerard pulled back and slowly stripped Frank of his clothes.

“I love you Frank, more than ever. I never stopped Sugar... I’ve waited at the docks every day, feeling like I would die every time you weren’t there...” He whispered softly, touching his forehead to Frank’s as he tugged his grubby clothes away and left them in a pile on the floor as he scooped Frank up and carried him into the adjoining room to lay him in the tub.

“I love you too Gee... Love you so much... I thought about you every day, missed you so much...” Frank mewled softly, rambling a little to himself as he sunk into the warm water of the bath and bit back a moan of utter delight. His cool skin warmed up in an instant, his muscles relaxing as Gerard knelt beside the tub and gently used his hands to wash water over Frank’s chest.

Gerard smiled softly but his heart ached as he looked his lover over. Frank had got a lot skinnier in their time apart, his ribs and hipbones clearly visible and Gerard bit his lip as he traced his fingers over them. He had a few bumps and bruises that were fading, but there was a look in his eyes that really told Gerard something had gone wrong whilst he had been away.

“What happened after I left Frankie?” He asked gently, smiling as Frank relaxed under his touch and closed his eyes, falling dreamy. “I can tell something did...” He whispered, Frank sighing and shaking his head.

“Nothing that matters anymore.” He mewled, turning his face away and feeling tears stinging in his eyes as he tried not to think about the image of Ben’s body that still haunted him.

“Frankie...” Gerard sighed, moving to kneel behind him and rub his fingers through his hair, picking up the soap that had been left for them and using it to wash Frank’s long hair for him. He waited until Frank was relaxed again, almost sleeping as he sank into the warm water before he brought up the subject again. “Please tell me Frankie, I want to know.”

“No you don’t.” Frank mewled, whimpering softly. “It was so awful Gee... I thought I was going to die.” He whimpered softly, Gerard growing tense for a moment but he was quick to relax himself again, continuing to massage his fingers through the younger mans hair so that he would stay dreamy and open.

“Why? Tell me all about it honey, let me make you feel better.” He purred, Frank sighing and arching his back a little as Gerard massaged his scalp, turning him into jelly and making the whole story just slip out with ease. He had told himself he would never let Gerard know the truth but as his hands massaged through his hair he couldn’t bite back the truth any longer.

Gerard kept silent as Frank spoke, taking a long time to tell his lover the full story, especially since he kept pausing at crucial points when fear would take over and Gerard would have to coax him back into speaking. Gerard kept washing Frank as he talked quietly, mewling a little at the gentle way Gerard scrubbed him clean, not letting the horror or shock he was feeling show on his face as what Frank had gone through became clear.

By the time Frank had finished his story the bath water was going cold and Gerard didn’t say anything as he gently lifted the younger man out of the tub and grabbed one of the nearby towels to wrap around him.

Frank peeked up at the older man with fearful eyes as he looked over his shoulder, his lips tight shut as he rubbed his hands up and down Frank’s arms over the towel, warming him up and drying him of all the water as he thought over everything he had said. Gerard felt sick after hearing all Frank had gone through and he didn’t quite know what to say in response. He had never dreamed that his lover was going through so much.

“Gee... Please say something.” Frank croaked when Gerard stayed silent for too long, his heart starting to race in fear. Had his revelation pushed Gerard away? Should he have just kept his mouth shut? “Gee?”

“I should never have left.” Gerard finally whispered, slowly moving his eyes to meet Frank’s and he felt his heart soar into his throat as he gazed at the younger man. He could see that his hazel eyes had changed, the usual playful spark he had loved so much was missing. Replaced by a dark tint that seemed to cloud the hazel and turn it into a churning butterscotch colour, his pupils somehow deeper. Gerard could almost feel himself getting sucked into a black hole of misery and despair and he quickly shook his head, pulling Frank forward to encase him tight in his arms. “I’m so sorry...”

“What?” Frank squeaked, blushing deeply as he slowly wrapped his arms around Gerard’s waist and nuzzled his face into his chest. “Gerard it isn’t your fault... you couldn’t have stayed. You needed to come back and save Mikey.” He mewled, Gerard shaking his head but Frank laid a finger over his lips before he could protest.

“But Frankie I –”

“No. Shh, don’t even say anything. There was nothing you could do and I’m fine now. I don’t want to think about it anymore okay? Please just let me forget it.” He begged softly, Gerard looking close to tears as he gazed into Frank’s eyes but he slowly sighed and nodded, swallowing down the lump in his throat.

“If I’d lost you...”

“Well you haven’t lost me, so just stop.” Frank interrupted again, tiptoeing up to gently peck Gerard’s lips and stroke his fingers into his hair. “I don’t want to think about it.” He whispered sternly, sighing as he pecked Gerard’s lips again, letting the kiss linger for a second longer this time as he closed his eyes. “I’ve missed you so much Gee... Can’t we think of nice things instead?” He whimpered, wanting the gulf between him and Gerard to feel smaller, wanting to feel that closeness he had missed so much.

“Nice things...” Gerard repeated softly, sighing as laid his hands on Frank’s waist. “Frankie you have no idea how hard I’m trying not to just throw you onto that bed and make love to you all day...” He groaned, Frank giggling softly and tugging Gerard’s face down to kiss him softly over and over.

“Mm... Why on earth would you stop yourself? I want nothing more than that...” He purred, Gerard looking at him in surprise and Frank smirked softly. “What? Did you think I’d be too tired? Too upset?” He asked softly, gently pushing Gerard back towards the bed. “Do you have any idea how much I wanted this whilst you were away, how many times I dreamed of you?” He whimpered, starting to lose his playful edge as he stared at Gerard with big eyes. “Don’t you want this too?

“Oh God Frankie, of course I want this. I want you.” Gerard sighed, scooping Frank up and letting the towel fall to the floor as he carried him the rest of the way and laid him in the centre of the bed, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss the moment their bodies touched. “Mmmph... I love you...” He sighed, Frank nodding and mewling in delight as he wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neck and kissed him back with equal hunger.

It had been so long since they’d been apart, months leaving them feeling deprived and almost bewildered as they sucked and nipped at each other’s lips. Frank had spent so long believing he’d never make it home that he could hardly believe he was really here, his heart beating so fast it felt as if it would explode as he kissed desperately over Gerard’s lips. He couldn’t get enough of the older man, needing to feel him constantly to believe he was really there.

“Mm... Mmmm....” He groaned, arching his body up and wrapping one leg around Gerard’s waist as they grabbed at each other, wanting to feel every last inch of the others body and Frank got busy yanking Gerard’s clothes away with shaking fingers.

Gerard sat up and helped remove his clothes, kicking the garments off the bed and laying his naked body over Franks, groaning a little as his skin tingled wherever Frank’s touched. He felt blood gushing south instantly, his body seeming to recognise Frank’s and responding eagerly as their lips connected again, their kissing tender but no less hungry.

Frank sighed and felt all of his tension melting away as he rolled his hips up and rubbed his growing erection against Gerard’s. Feeling Gerard’s body against his, the way his hands cradled his face so delicately, his arms strong when they wrapped around him... it was like every internal wound and laceration Frank’s time in Hangtown had gained him was being healed. Soothed away by the very thing he had wanted for so long, Gerard’s gentle kisses better than any medicine he could be given.

“Mm... Gee...” Frank sighed, tipping his head back as Gerard moved his kisses down his neck, his hands stroking down Frank’s torso and he sighed softly against his ear.

“Frankie, you’re so thin.” He whispered, tracing his fingertips over Frank’s ribs and nipping his neck gently. “We’ll need to change that...” He purred, kissing down to suck on the skin over his collarbone before sliding his tongue down to one of his nipples.

Frank groaned and nodded his agreement, unable to form a coherent sentence though as Gerard rolled his tongue over the rosy nub beneath his lips before teasing it between his teeth. Gerard gazed up at Frank through his eyelashes, using his hand to tease the other nipple with his thumb. Frank’s eyes were closed and his head back, his breathing turning heavy in an instant as his body sang with pleasure. After so long of nothing he felt hyper-sensitive and every little touch was sending sparks through his dick.

“G – Gerard...” He groaned, biting his lip as Gerard hummed around his nipple and sucked softly. He closed his eyes as he kissed further down Frank’s body, following the line of his ribs with his tongue as his hands ghosted down his hips, barely touching the skin. His heart ached to feel Frank so skinny, but he knew he’d be healthy again in no time and he was still the most beautiful man Gerard had ever seen.

“Mm... Wanna taste you Frankie... Wanted to taste you for so long...” He sighed, wrapping his hand around the base of Frank’s erection and guiding it upwards as he slid down a few more inches and flicked his tongue over the head. He was lying with his head resting on Frank’s abdomen, able to feel each breath he took as he sipped delicately against the tiny slit pressed against his lips.

Frank sighed and shuddered softly, feeling so turned on it was painful. His dick was ridiculously hard, pulsing and throbbing as Gerard kissed and lapped his tongue over the head, taking his time; teasing him. His heart was racing and his breathing was heavy, the pleasure so good he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hang on.

“G – Gee...” He choked, looking down but all he could see was the back of Gerard’s head as he sucked lazily against his tip, seeming to take forever before finally sliding down and swallowing more of him into his mouth. “Uunn...”

“Mm...” Gerard smiled softly as he sucked slowly and gently around the half of Frank in his mouth. He had wanted this for so long he was determined to take his time, just savouring the weight of Frank against his tongue; the gentle throbbing as blood pulsed through his length. He reached a hand down to cup Frank’s balls, rolling them slowly in his palm as he simply sucked and licked against Frank’s erection, not bobbing his head. Just lazily tasting him as Frank sighed and moaned quietly against one of the pillows.

Frank closed his eyes and relaxed into the sheets, stroking his fingers through Gerard’s hair as his body thrummed and tingled all over. He knew he wasn’t going to last long but when he tried to tell Gerard to stop the older man completely ignored him so Frank just let him carry on. The pleasure was too good to stop anyway.

“Mmph... Oh Gee... Gee m’so close...” He groaned, rolling his head to the side as he began to feel overwhelmed with pleasure. He struggled not to buck his hips up but he could feel his orgasm fast approaching and Gerard refused to quicken his pace. He simply continued to suck slowly and gently, his head motionless against Frank’s stomach as he focused his attention on the tip of Frank’s cock and the coronal ridge.

Still, even just that was enough to send Frank over the edge and he gasped softly as he gave up trying to hold on and spilt over Gerard’s tongue.

Gerard wasn’t shocked by Frank’s sudden climax, still able to read the signs his body gave off and so he had known his orgasm was coming. As soon as his cum shot from the tip Gerard was eagerly swallowing it down, groaning softly around the head as he sucked and sucked, digging his tongue into the tiny slit and milking Frank dry before pulling back as Frank groaned in slight distress.

“Shh...” Gerard purred, kissing over the younger mans abdomen before sliding back down and kissing against the base of his erection. If Frank thought he was hyper-sensitive before it was nothing to how sensitive he was now after climaxing and his body jolted as Gerard licked gently over the bottom of his shaft.

“Unnn... G – Gerard...” He whimpered, not sure whether he wanted him to stop or not. It felt so good but almost painful at the same time, his body having no time to come down from his climax before Gerard was getting him hard again with the tiniest, gentlest of licks. He gazed up at Frank as he licked slowly and tenderly, as gentle as a kitten.

“Mm?” He purred, moving back to suck on his fingers and Frank gazed at him through half lidded eyes as he spread his legs further, knowing what was coming and grateful for just this second of relief for his body to cool down a little, his cock already standing to attention once more.

Gerard bit his lip as he looked down at Frank, idly rubbing his hand over his own erection as it throbbed painfully. Frank looked like he had had sex three times over already, his damp hair tasselled and his body blushing red all over. His half lidded eyes had a glossy haze and when he smiled it was the easiest smile he had given all day. It made Gerard’s heart jump and he sighed, smiling as he leant down to kiss Frank gently and nudge one slick finger between the soft globes of his ass and into his puckered entrance.

Frank gasped and moaned huskily as he flung his arms around Gerard’s neck, turning his face away so that he could pant softly and focus on relaxing. Gerard watched him carefully, moving his finger ever so slowly and letting Frank get used to him again. It had been so long Frank felt as tight as a virgin and Gerard refused to hurt him.

“Frankie, are you okay?” He asked huskily, Frank turning his face back to him, smiling as he nodded and spread his legs further. He tangled a hand into Gerard’s hair and dragged him close for a deep kiss, a second finger pushing inside him and making his heart race faster.

“Mm... Mhmm... Feels good...” He slurred, tangling both hands through the older man’s hair and then down his back. The pleasure was like an old, familiar friend, but more than that just feeling his body relax and practically invite Gerard in made him happier than ever. He guessed part of him had been afraid he wouldn’t be able to do this after what had happened with Sam, that the memory would haunt him and frighten him... but Gerard made him feel so safe, his trust was stronger than before instead of broken and he groaned quietly for more as he bucked his hips.

Gerard smiled softly against Frank’s lips as they kissed, a third finger joining the other two with ease and he sucked against Frank’s tongue as the younger man pushed his ass down and whimpered in delight. Gerard could feel his dick throbbing and he ached to push inside him, prepping him for just a minute more before pulling his fingers away and moving to rest between Frank’s legs.

“Ummph... Are you ready?” He asked softly, lining his erection up with Frank’s entrance and looking at him for a second. He blushed a little at the serene way Frank was gazing back, a lazy smile gracing his gorgeous face as he nodded and laid his hands against Gerard’s biceps.

“Course...” He purred in response, groaning and tipping his head back when Gerard began to slide into him. Gerard kept his eyes on Frank’s face, watching him carefully as he clenched his teeth and pushed into him ever so slowly. He couldn’t remember Frank ever feeling so tight and his dick twitched at the sensation as he pushed deeper and deeper, Frank arching his back up with a gentle sigh.

Gerard exhaled slowly once he had pushed all the way in, his body tingling all over as his abdomen swirled with heat. It had been so long... far too long. He felt so close already he kept his thrusts smooth and slow, trying to hold on as he rocked back and forth inside his lover.

Frank smiled and bit his lip, keeping his eyes closed as he focused on every little sensation Gerard was causing. His muscles were clenching and relaxing in gentle waves around Gerard’s engorged length, his body feeling as if it was on fire he felt so amazing.

Gerard sighed and ducked his head down to rest in Frank’s neck, kissing against the flushed skin as he rocked back and forth slowly. He counted backwards in his head to try and ignore the insistent pleasure tugging at his abdomen, but it was no use. Barely thirty seconds in he felt the telltale signs of his orgasm and he whimpered softly as he tried to force it back, but before he knew it his body had betrayed him and he was spilling deep into Frank who gasped in shock.

Frank clenched his teeth and moaned a little as he felt Gerard’s hot cum filling him, his nails digging into the older man’s biceps and he rocked his hips back and forth when Gerard remained still, hiding his face in Frank’s neck. Frank rolled his hips to milk Gerard’s orgasm for him, chuckling softly when he stopped and Gerard continued to hide.

“Mm... Hey? Look at me?” He mewled softly, Gerard shaking his head and groaning in embarrassment. Frank laughed quietly again, trying his best not to because he knew it would only upset Gerard further but it wasn’t out of spite, he actually felt touched. Gerard had never had a problem with lasting before and he knew it was just because they had been apart for so long.

“Gee... Love, I hope you weren’t planning and ending there.” He purred playfully into Gerard’s ear, kissing over his hair and rolling his hips again, sighing as he felt Gerard still hard and pulsing inside him. “Because it feels to me like you’re far from finished...” He whispered seductively, Gerard groaning a little and slowly turning his head to gaze into Frank’s eyes. His heart missed a beat when he saw the calm understanding swirling in the hazel irises, a playful spark glinting in them and Gerard felt a smile tugging at his lips as he gazed into the eyes of the old Frankie... the Frankie he had fell in love with.

“I’m sorry –”

“Don’t be. Now we’ve both cum once each, it’s even.” Frank winked, rocking his hips up and down so Gerard would get the hint and start moving again. “Mmm... and I just know you’re gonna make me cum again...” He growled softly, moaning a little louder as Gerard began to thrust into him with more speed, keeping his thrusts long and smooth so it stayed gentle but fast.

Gerard sighed and smiled as he met Frank in a heated kiss, his embarrassment forgotten as his body tingled with renewed pleasure. His cum had served to lubricate Frank more, making his thrusts easy and fluid and he groaned as he easily sought out the younger man’s prostate. He chuckled a little and tried to hush Frank when he cried out in pleasure, bucking his hips and scratching slightly at Gerard’s back as his erection pushed against his magic spot again and again.

“Shh... Shh...” Gerard chuckled, biting back his own moans as Frank clenched tightly around him. He didn’t want them to be heard by anyone in the tavern, but by that point even he was starting not to care. It had been so long and it felt so good and he just couldn’t stop.

“Frankie... Ooh... Frankie, Frankie, Frankie...” He chanted softly against the crook of Frank’s neck, the younger man bucking his hips and arching his back as he writhed about against the sheets. He was panting hotly against Gerard’s shoulder as he sat up just enough to bite and kiss against his pale skin, his muscles clenching more and more as he felt his second orgasm approaching.

Gerard closed his eyes as he indulged in Frank’s body, his warm skin, his gorgeous body, the way his legs came up to clamp around his hips and drag him closer... it was everything he had dreamed about and missed so much and he could feel the tension growing between them as their orgasms approached. Love was making his heart swell and thump, but he knew he didn’t need to tell Frank he loved him, the way their eyes met as their pleasure climbed said it all. Gerard could see love written all over Frank’s iris’ and he knew the younger man could see the same in his eyes, so he simply tangled a hand into Frank’s hair and cradled the side of his face as he whispered for him to cum.

Frank moaned quietly and turned his head just enough to press a chaste kiss to Gerard’s palm, watching him through half lidded eyes as his stomach clenched and heated. His prostate was being hit with every thrust in and it was too much for him to withstand. He was leaking copious amounts of cum over their stomachs already and with just a few more well aimed thrusts he was cumming hard over his torso, sobbing out Gerard’s name as his eyes squeezed shut.

Gerard groaned quietly and watched Frank cum, wrapping a hand around his erection to milk him of every last drop, his spasming muscles clenching so tight around his own cock that he couldn’t hold on much longer himself. He kept thrusting for just a few more minutes, Frank panting beneath him, looking exhausted though he continued to rock his hips so that he could help bring Gerard closer, whimpering how good it felt so that before Gerard knew it he was cumming again, his head spinning from the force.

Frank sighed and wrapped his arms tight around his lover, clutching him to his chest and purring sweet nothings into his ear as he came, riding through his orgasm that seemed to last forever before he finally collapsed against Frank.

Both men were silent for a long moment, just holding onto each other and catching their breath back before Gerard slid out of Frank with a quiet hiss. Frank shuddered a little as cum ran down his thighs almost immediately and he whimpered as he pressed his face into Gerard’s chest.

“I love you...” He sighed, smiling as Gerard gently patted down his sex hair for him and cradled him in his arms.

“You too sugar... always.”

>X<

It was early evening when Gerard walked Frank home. They had made love a further three times before their stamina had packed out and they had been left panting breathlessly for ages. Frank had never felt safer in Gerard’s strong arms and when it had come time for him to think about getting home he just hadn’t wanted to leave.

Gerard had refused to let Frank go until he had some warmer clothes and so Frank had had to wait in their tavern room whilst Gerard ran out to get him some clothes from the nearest tailors. Luckily since Gerard was now wealthy he was back in no time with some gorgeous, warm clothes that Frank gratefully slipped into after washing himself clean with some of the cold bath water.

He had been thinking about his old house whilst he had waited, and by the time he was ready to leave the tavern he was eager to go surprise his mum and grandmother with his return.

Gerard smiled as he walked with Frank through the snow lined street, keeping close together but careful not to hold hands or anything in public. The two men talked and caught up more, Frank grinning as Gerard told him more about Mikey and how well he was doing, coming to a slow halt outside Frank’s house as they arrived and Gerard looked at the shabby, run down building.

“I know it’s not much...” Frank said quietly, biting his lip. “But now I’m back with the gold we can buy a new place.” He smiled, Gerard nodding and smiling warmly as he cupped Frank’s face and tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear.

“Of course... Well, at least now I know where you live I can come see you whenever.” He grinned, Frank giggling with a nod. “And of course I’ll take you to my place too... which reminds me.. If you’re not already busy then I’d love for you and your family to join my family for Christmas dinner.” He said softly, smiling at Frank’s shocked face.

Frank gawped at Gerard as if he was crazy, snow falling gently from the sky and landing in his dark hair, making him look so gorgeous Frank couldn’t think of a good reason to say no though he was sure there was one. After a long minute of painful thinking he finally gasped and smacked Gerard’s arm lightly.

“Gee! You know we can’t do that –”

“Why not? It’ll on be your ma and grandma, and my ma and his wife and daughter. It’s hardly a lot of people and we can afford the food now and I really want to introduce you to them all...” Gerard whined, Frank blushing and biting his lip.

“But Gerard, we can’t exactly introduce each other to our families. My mum would die if she knew I was queer.” He whimpered, Gerard sighing and bowing his head.

“I guess... but couldn’t you come just as my friend or whatever, for now? Mikey and Alicia already know about us so –”

“What!?” Frank gasped, feeling about ready to faint and Gerard quickly wrapped his arms around him to support him, quickly explaining how Mikey had worked it out for himself and how much he didn’t mind.

“He said that after I’d saved his life he’d never turn against me for something like this. And to be honest I think he can see how much I love you... He’d never want to destroy that. But my mum doesn’t know yet and I can understand if you don’t want yours to know yet either. It’ll only be for Christmas Frankie... then after that we can make a plan of if and when we’ll tell them.” He said as gently but firmly as he could, Frank gazing at him with big eyes for a long moment, Gerard almost ready to tell him to just forget the whole thing before he finally spoke.

“Mikey... Mikey and Alicia really don’t mind?” He asked softly, shocked beyond all reason. He had never thought anyone would be fine with them but to hear that both Mikey and his wife didn’t care made Frank feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Gerard slowly grinned as he saw a stupid smile splitting Frank’s features and he nodded, kissing him quickly whilst no one was around.

“Mm... Really. So what do you say? Please say you’ll join us Frankie, it’ll be the best Christmas ever with you there.” He mewled, Frank biting his lip and glancing towards his front door before sighing and nodding, smiling as he gave in.

“Okay... Just as friends for this one though... Just until I’m ready to tell them.” He said gently, Gerard grinning and scooping him up, spinning him round with a laugh before kissing him quick again.

“Okay! I’ll pick you up in a couple days then, at midday. Bring your mum and grandma and I’ll take you to mine where we’ll all eat.” He beamed, Frank giggling at his enthusiasm and nodding, tiptoeing up to kiss him lightly again before he squeezed his hand.

“Alright. Until then, then.”

“Yes, see you soon Frankie.” Gerard beamed, Frank nodding and walking up the little path to his door.

“See you soon beautiful.” He winked, turning and stepping into his house as his heart began to race. He couldn’t wait for Christmas day now but first he had his mother and grandmother to see, and as Gerard began making his way back down the street he chuckled as he heard screams coming from Frank’s house, followed by cheering and laughter and the unmistakeable sound of a woman crying with joy.

It was going to be an amazing new year too then, Gerard decided.

X Fin X