FicWad

This is how we're gonna do it; upload Karma Police, Viva Hate and Omerta in turns.

-ULSI

If you have serious Christian beliefs, please leave them behind when you read this fic. I'm making up shit about God and Heaven throughout this whole thing, and if you have a problem with that, I'm very sorry. I was and am Catholic, and I come from a strictly Catholic family. (I'm Northern Irish, so....yeah.) I may or may not believe in what Frank says throughout this chapter and the many more to come. This is an AU fic, obviously. I hope you don't think me in any way rude/ignorant/A COMPLETE FREAKING BITCH by me saying that. I've grown up with people killing each other because of their religious beliefs and it makes me sick.

Now, on with the karma Frerardness!!!

L.N.I.


Honey

Gerard Way woke up the next morning, rubbing his eyes. He was trying to remember the events of the last twenty four hours.

Frankie. Frankie...why is that name so familar? A warm, unusual feeling washed over the teenager as he stretched and yawned. Frankie Iero. His...karma police officer. Way cracked an eye open as the memories of the previous day rolled back into his mind. His room seemed clean as he was plunged back into the world of consciousness; that was so weird. His room was a pig stye normally. The Joy Division poster that was normally peeling from the walls was stapled back up. The curtains were drawn back, the mysterious stains on them suddenly absent. His clothes had been hung up and straightened.

Gerard pulled back the cover and stood up a little unsteadily. He flexed his muscles as he did, thinking such utterly vain thoughts. He was in his bare boxers (his usual choice of bed attire) and his back cracked as he groaned and suddenly everything he had said to Frank the night before came flooding back; how he had pressed right up against the dead thing, how he had licked a section of the boy's skin, how the fuzzy feeling in his stomach was now unnerving him. This thing had suddenly come to his house yesterday and promised to make Gerard a perfect person. The bully was not going to get involved in all this shitty, lovey-dovey bullcrap. He'd accept the kid's help and that'd be it.

He flung open the door and shuffled downstairs, stretching and groaning. He wondered where his little karma police officer had scurried off to; the little thing was probably gonna pop out of somewhere soon. The eighteen-year-old began to hum tunelessly as he finally arrived on the bottom step, when he saw the dead boy in the kitchen, little ass wiggling as he was participating in wiping the counter. Gerard then decided to fuck everything he had decided in the last five minutes; he was going to make Frank his boyfriend, if it the last thing he ever did. The way the boy looked, the way he spoke, his personality was just so perfect. He suppose it made sense, since Iero was, after all, a member of the Karma Police Constabulary.

Gerard made sure he was on display enough for the boy, pushing his boxers down a little, making sure his chest was thrown out and his hair tousled and long. He smirked widely and pushed the door open.

"Morning, babe," he said, and Frank wore a disapproving, slight smile. He was dressed in tight jeans and a shirt and sweater vest-Gerard's jaw dropped. The dead boy's hair was neat and pinned down; a little lick of hair swerved by his ear. The dead one was standing by the oven in the kitchen, preparing the morning meal of the day. The entire room smelled blissfully of eggs and bacon. "Sweet Jesus, that smells good." He paused and sniffed the aromatic air. "What'cha makin?"

"First of all, please use g's at the end of words," Frank said politely, yet sternly. He turned around to face Gerard; his eyes were liquidy, honey - so gorgeous. Gerard felt his stomach drop, and just because of the food. His smile vanished as the song hummed lowly. "The Colonel included letters for a reason, Gerard. Secondly, do not call me that. Officer Iero is perfectly fine by me." Even though he was giving out to the other boy, his smile was as sweet as ever, his teeth blindingly white and symmetrical. Way's eyes tripped along the smaller one, his lips, his hair, his nose, and those eyes..."And I'm making cake marl poi."

"You...you...you what?" Gerard giggled a little and strode over to the counter, plopping himself on it so that the karma police officer was unable to do his cleaning. "First of all, I don't give a damn about no g's, baby. In fact, I don't ive a damn about g's." He laughed again and Frank rolled his eyes. He pulled a bowl of icing and a spoon out of nowhere and began to beat. His hands were simple blurs of pallid white - the speed was unbelievable. "Secondly, I call you whatever I want. Babe, honey, sugar, even my little kitty cat if I'm in the mood. And lastly, what the fuck is cake marl poi?"

This is what you get when you mess with us....

"Ah Jesus!" Gerard suddenly yelped as the radio flicked on with none other than Radiohead, ladies and gents. "Frankie - turn it off -" the police officer gave him a suitable look and the eighteen year old realized what he had to do. He closed his eyes slowly and said: "I'm sorry. G's are great. I love g's. Favourite goddamn letter." Quiter. Frank's smile was infectious. "And...I can deal with Officer Iero. Little formal if you ask me, but..." he paused. "I got nothing for cake marl poi. You guys got your own language or something?"

Frank only smiled gratiously and clicked his fingers. A large navy book landed with a very loud thump on the counter and the boy's small finger pointed to the title of the 'recipe' - cake marl poi. They rearranged swiftly on the page and spelt out 'KARMA POLICE.' Gerard blinked several times.

"I must be drunk or some shit," he muttered.

"You're not intoxicated, Gerard," the young boy said brightly. "But you're in such a good mood! I love it when you are, your mind is so positive and it makes you such a better person." He looked up to the bully. "Don't you feel it? You have such a nice soul, Gerard, and you're so creative. You draw, don't you?" Way glared at him suddenly. He drew his own little personal comics and shoved them in his sock drawer. He doubted his own mother knew about them. "No, she doesn't know, Gerard. But I do, and I've seen them, and they're amazing! I'm so sorry for looking on your desk but they were so good!" He was crying out with delight. "You're so talented!"

"What gives you the right to go through my shit?" He snarled, and Frank cowered. His eyes rolled into a fiery shade of red. That did scare Gerard just a bit, and he wondered why the sudden colour changes could apply in Iero's irises. Not that they weren't beautiful..."Isn't that a fucking invasion of privacy? Perfect boy much?"

"Perfection isn't abhorring from everything," he said quietly, not meeting the other's furious gaze. "I told you I was sorry for looking on your desk. That's apologizing for you. I'm really sorry you don't want people knowing you draw, Gerard, but I loved them." He wore a tiny smile. "I love Scott Pilgrim too."

For those of you not in the know, Scott Pilgrim is a comic book that is such an epic win

Gerard felt a little better. Frank's eyes diluted from red to a silky, transparent bronze.

"They..." why was he nervous? Why was he nervous, standing so close to someone? His tongue felt fuzzy and thick in his mouth. "They got Scott Pilgrim up in...wherever ya are?" Frank giggled and nodded. "Really?"

"They have everything," the boy said vaguely, his tinkle - giggle exiting his mouth. Gerard even cracked a smile. The eyes...they settled back to the honey colour. They sparkled and glittered inside the boy's sockets. "I love comic books. And video games."

Way turned. "Really? COD? GTA? Red Dead Redemption?"

The three games Gerard had named snapped up in front of him. He gaped and stared. Donna Way was very strict about what games came into the house; the eighteen year old only had the experience at his friends' houses. Frank laughed and returned to making the weird cake thing.

"Oh my Gawd," Gerard petitioned, staring at the games. Then to Frank. Then back to the games. "New edition and everything, mother of shit. Josh says this ain't comin out til next summer, goddammit!"

"Joshua says this is not coming out until this following summer," Frank corrected quietly, stirring. He was smiling though; the world seemed so much nicer when he was smiling. Gerard even cracked. "I like video games but...I hate when it comes when you have to shoot someone. It sounds stupid but I don't like seeing people in pain." Orbs turned to the softest sky blue imaginable. The blood - tears ran down his cheeks. Gerard felt such overbearing, overwhelming sadness. "Even though, of course...I've been dead for fifty years." He wiped at his eyes. "Sorry...I...I'm very sorry." His voice was a little tight. The other didn't know whether to bundle him into a hug or run the fuck away. Black smoke started sifting from him again and he seemed a little less...perfect now. The bullet holes in his forehead seemed more three demensional, his clothes weren't as wrinkle-free as they previously had just been. "People can be so horrible. So....vile."

"Yeah," Way agreed, darker tone, thinking of Bert. Stupid fucking prick. He was surprised when the song didn't start playing immediately after he cussed his boyfriend. When he looked to Frank, he saw something that terrified him to his very soul.

The eyes were black now. The most solid black you could imagine. Deep, dark ebony, with blood dripping from them. He was crying, and it looked like his pupils had taken over his entire eyes. He looked to Gerard slowly, and those eyes were lifeless. Like black holes in the face of an angel. Way could just gape. The karma police officer suddenly gasped and threw himself forward like he had emerged from a freezing cold lake.

"Oh - oh my I'm so, so sorry, Gerard," he rasped. "I didn't mean to do that at all, I lost my mind for a minute there, I can't apologize enough, and you had to see it, I'm so sorry," he blabbered, voice higher and higher. The cake, which had previously been pink and fluffy, was sagging. Cake marl poi or whatever was spreading slowly across the plate, rotting. "Oh no - please, Jonathan, please - I didn't know it- I -" Frank grasped the counter for sustainance, slipping. Gerard nearly flew to his side, though he was fucking confused as hell.

"Baby?" He'd forgotten about the name thing, which he supposed Frank's 'Sergeant' or whatever would freak at. The song played lightly in Way's ear but he took no notice, wrapping an arm around the ghost and trying to gaze into his eyes. "Are you feeling faint, Frankie? Frankie? Can...can karma police officers faint?" He asked the room, before realizing: "Wait. Who the fuck am I talking to?" Come on Home Ec, come up with a suitable remedy.... holding under cold water? No, that's burning. Or is it some thing in CPR? Oh shit...Gerard grabbed some water and tipped it into Frank's mouth. When he tried, the water simply dripped down from his hand. He wasn't even sure if Frank could eat or drink.

The ghost was unresponsive. But his eyes glowed and glittered. They were blue again, baby blue, but he had frozen up totally. Gerard could hear something, like white noise, in the background. It was oddly comical and simultaenously shit - your- pants - scary.

"Oh Johnny," Frank gasped, in a trance -like state. "I didn't know-"

"Frankie?" He called in his ear, letting the dead boy slip down so that he was sitting on the floor now, still in the creepy state. "Frankie? Honey, do you need an ambulance? Oh shit...you're dead...might be a minor problem." He had an idea. "Here, kitty cat, maybe you're-"

"STOP HITTING ON MY FIANCE!" Was screeched in his ear suddenly. It hadn't come from Frank's mouth, but Gerard had heard it so clearly and so loudly his ears were ringing. The voice was gruff and slurred. "KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS TO YOURSELF! HE IS MINE!"

And then it was gone. The yelling, thundering voice was gone and Frank was blinking his eyes open. Gerard was incredulous.

"I'm sorry about him," Frank whispered, looking into his lap. "I'm sorry. He's a little over - protective, you see and...and you brushed by my chest and he doesn't like other people touching me. I'm sorry, he must have been rude to you." His tone was so sad. "He can be mean sometimes." Even quiter. "All the time."

The bully regarded the other boy and saw something for the first time; a ring on his finger. Frank was engaged. And Gerard had tried to feel him up. Oh, such a genius.

"You're...engaged." He said flatly. "But you're...dead."

"To another KPO," Frank said silently. "Just...I'm not supposed to talk about it. Stuff like that happens. I slip back into my human mind and I think about things I shouldn't think about and Jonathan doesn't like that and then I was talking to him a second ago and I talked about you and then he screamed at you and I'm sorry Gerard he's getting suspended for being mean-"

"Whoa whoa whoa," Way said. "Slowly. Take your time, precious."

"Mmm...well, we were talking just a second ago. About killing," he said. Gerard could see him right up close now. Irises were creamy white. More beautiful than frightening. "And...I got upset because I died before and my death was untimely. Tragic, maybe." He inhaled deeply and ran his fingers down his legs. "And...I was thinking about things and Jonathan stepped into my mindfeed. A mindfeed is what you think about. Jonathan is my...superior. He can read my mind." Another uncertain, unhappy stop. "And he heard me thinking something and got angry. He pulled me from this world and into the next and asked who I was talking about. He can enter my mind so I guess he jumped into this dimension and yelled at you." His dewy orbs looked to the teenager. "I'm sorry if I don't make much sense. Usually I don't explain it to people..."

"Wait." Gerard said, and the other fell silent. "So. Your...little boyfriend is a big ass cop. Bigger than you. A big ass karma police officer, yeah?"

"A Major," the boy breathed. "He's very important." He paused. "He commands everyone in my unit."

"And so this dude..."

"Jonathan."

"Jonathan, right...he's engaged to you." He paused. "Am I right so far?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Gerard tried to configurate everything. It was so motherfucking complicated, having a karma police officer. Moreover, a hot karma police officer who's enagaged and suffers from black outs. "And your fiance...can enter your mind and your dimension. Because he's a little insecure. Correct?"

"And he can read your thoughts." A little nod. "And he read your thoughts and saw something that pissed him off and he gave out to you?"

"He unpluged me," Frank rephrased. "It means he turned off this switch and pulled me back to the Constabulary."

"What were you thinking?" Gerard urged quietly. "Was it about me?"

Frank nodded tensely and tried to stand up. For the first time, Way took him gently by the wrist and guided him back down. If Frank wanted to, he could have yanked his hand away. But he came back down and sat next to Gerard on the floor.

"Please," he whispered right in Frank's ear. "Just tell me. I know you're not meanta tell me this shit, and it's real good of you, Frankie. And I'm sorry if we got off to the wrong foot, me kissing you and all-"

"We didn't kiss!" Frank said shrilly, rather to the room than Gerard. "We didn't! You tried to-"

"I tried to, exactly, and that was wrong of me. You belong to another guy, and I didn't know that. Ya hear that?" He shouted to no one in particular, and Frank sniffed and giggled weakly. "I'm done molesting your boy, Major...whatever. But please, let me know what you were thinking." He blinked. "I think I deserve that, Frankie."

If Frank needed to breathe, he would have inhaled deeply. However, he just looked Gerard in the eye.

"That thing...you talked about last night..." if he was alive, he'd be blushing. He used blush all the goddamn time. Cutest little thing. "I thought you meant bunk beds, remember?" Gerard smiled a little fondly. The eyes heightened to light brown. Way still couldn't figure out the science of Frank's eyes. "And...I thought about it...and Jonathan got mad...because...it's..."

"Impure," Way answered for him, and Frank nodded. "And...did you think of me when you thought about it?"

The boy lisped a little. "Only...only because you said it to me. But..." he trailed away and barely murmured: "Did you want to kiss me, Gerard? Am I better looking than your boyfriend?"

"Oh my fucking God yeah," the bad boy responded huskily. "You're gorgeous. So freaking beautiful."

Frank smiled wanely. "That's nice of you. Thank you." He paused and pushed some of the raven mess behind Gerard's ear. His skin was like raw silk to the touch. "You're getting better already, Gerard." His smile widened. "I hope I do a good job. I'd love to help you, Gerard. Because then..." he stopped suddenly and looked above Gerard.

"What?" He demanded. "What then?"

He whipped around. His boyfriend had skipped the rest of the party for him.


In the next chapter we deal with Bert, Frank's eyes, Mikey possibly being gay than life itself, French homework, cookies....don't say I don't cover shit in my stories.