FicWad

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, but I do own the plot.

Warning: This has yaoi in it. Don't read if you don't like.

xoxoxoxox

The wind that blew in through the window made my light blonde hair fall over my eyes. It didn't really matter; I would almost prefer anything to falling asleep. I had been staring at the ceiling for about a half an hour and my eyes were starting to hurt from the strain of staring at nothing and everything at the same time.

The reason I didn't want to sleep came in the form of a dream, or actually, a nightmare. And this nightmare came in the form of a memory that would be better off left alone. As much as I wanted to, as scared as I was, I could never stay awake all night after a hard day. In the end, I always gave in, and I always fell asleep.

He was standing in the doorway again. The light behind him made his form completely black so I couldn't see his face. The buzz of his soft voice barley reached my ears and yet I knew every word he was saying by heart.
Because what he said was everything I decided that I wanted to hear. He would step forward and close the door silently behind him. As he walked I felt my own apprehension. Before my eyes could follow he was leaning over me, his eyes glowing with Mako. "I missed you." He whispered in my ear.
I sighed and pulled Zack closer, my arms hanging loosely around his neck. He smelled of cinnamon and a slow fire. His hair was perfect as always, sitting in its somewhat messy style. His smile was cocky as always, mischief dancing in his eyes.

It was funny how even in a reoccurring dream, he felt so far away and out of reach. I was afraid to continue dreaming this nightmare, because I knew how it ended. He smile was so bright that it blinded me, and he leisurely wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I buried my face in the crook of his shoulder trying to decipher the dark look that seemed to be sitting behind the ocean color of his eyes.

As gentle as he was, I still felt a strange anger and accusation rolling from him in waves. His face was almost unreadable aside from the dazzling smile he always seemed to be wearing around me. His hand stroked up my back slowly, almost soothingly. His hand wrapped around the back of my neck as he brought his face next to my cheek, his mouth covering my ear completely.

"It's your fault." He whispers regretfully into my ear, trailing his mouth down the side of my neck. I cupped the back of his head and gasped, arching into his mouth as his began to suck and nip at my skin. I fisted his hair in my hand as his ran his hand under my shirt, playing with my erect nipples, making me moan loudly. He bit my neck hard, almost to the point of breaking the skin. I knew there was going to be a mark, and no matter what, he would always mark my soul.

I pulled him up to my lips, kissing him roughly. He growled deep in his throat and ground his hips against mine slowly, countering the speed of our kiss. His lips devoured mine and our faces mashed against each other as we continued to kiss almost desperately. His erection pressed against my hip and I could feel the heat of it soaking through my clothes. I bucked, pushing my hip against the bulge even harder, giving him the pain and pleasure I knew he wanted. All the while, his tongue had been tracing my lips slowly, spreading his saliva across my tender flesh. I moaned when he gently squeezed my crotch, giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. "Zack..." I moaned loudly.

He grinned against my mouth as he heard me gasp his name a few more times. Then as he licked at my teeth and sucked on my tongue, I couldn't control the dread that was building in the back of my subconscious mind; because I knew what happened last.

"I think we should-" I began to say, trying to push him away.
He grabbed both of my hands, pinning them to the bed, and pressed his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes. "Shhh, don't think. That's your problem Cloud; you spend too much time within your mind."
Within that small space of time he had managed to distract me once again. His hand slipped from my cheek all the way down my body, firmly yanking the zipper on my pants down. My hard on sprung out, waiting for his attention. He grinned up at me as he lightly kissed the tip, making me purr with pleasure. I pushed my hips forward, trying to make him take all of me but he laughed out loud, making my heart stutter; I loved his laugh.
He kept his hand on my cock while he slid back up my body like a snake. He slowly pumped my erection and with his free hand he pulled my shirt off. He once again grinned up at me and began to suck on my nipples, making me writhe below him. I placed my hands on his shoulders, digging my fingers into them. With a smirk that I felt upon my chest, he released my cock once more and zipped me back up. He took my face in both of his hands and forced me to stare into his glowing eyes. It was there that I saw our past, and in the pools of his eyes I felt as if artic water had been splashed upon me.
He closed his eyes with regret and kissed me passionately once more, gripping my face to the point that it was painful. I whisper his name once more, as if it were a prayer, or perhaps a goodbye. I heard him give a strangled laugh and felt his body begin to go limp.

His lips began to slow and a coppery taste began to enter my mouth through his. I felt my blood run cold as I realized what it was for the hundredth time this year, for every time I dreamed. As it ran down the back of my throat I began to gag and I slowly pushed Zack off of me. I looked at him, at his blood stained lips and trembled. His Mako stained eyes were empty and blood continued to drip from the inside of his mouth. I sat up and placed my head in my hands, crying silently, tasting his blood in my mouth, feeling it on my face and hands. In my mind I could still see him dying, back in the past, in the outskirts of the town as he took the bullet that was meant for me.
I lifted my head from my hands and glanced at his bleeding body beside me. This is my recurring nightmare; this is my fantasy.