FicWad

You want answers.

You want to know why it always ends this way—why he always storms off after yet another screaming match, without even giving you a reason as to why he’s leaving.

You want to know when you stopped being important to him. When he stopped caring.

Why he stopped caring.

You want to know what you did to make him treat you this way—why weren’t you good enough. Why couldn’t you make him happy?

You wonder if it’s because you let yourself go during your relationship. You never thought of yourself as pretty to begin with, but he always seemed to admire the fact that you were plain. He was never short of compliments when it came to you, but then, he abruptly stopped.

Sometimes you think about his ex-girlfriend, the one that he was with for three years. He used to talk about her all the time, in glowing terms. Even though they had a tumultuous relationship, and it was probably a good thing that their relationship ended when it did, he still says he misses her sometimes.

He knows how much it hurts you, but he does it anyway, just to get under your skin. He always did enjoy playing with you that way. Eventually, you learn that his ex-girlfriend isn’t so bad after all, and the two of you even become friends.

But there is always that little nagging bit of doubt in the back of your mind. Whenever you think about it, you remember how much in tune they were with each other, and how similar they were. You had a lot in common with him, too, but the bond you shared with him is much different than the one he shared with her.

Looks-wise, you know you could never compete. She fits every single description he had of his dream girl, and you know you will never measure up. You will never be able to compete with what they had.

So you stop trying. But you do try to do everything you can to make him happy. You broaden your horizons, and you try things that you probably never would have before, not only because you want to find out if it will bring the two of you closer together, but because you also want to grow and evolve.

It’s never enough. He always wants more. You keep bending and bending, but eventually, you reach your breaking point.

You spend hours alone, in the room you once shared with him, crying until you can no longer do so, because you know that this will continue to be a never-ending, vicious, exhausting cycle.

You are never going to make him happy.

And so you mourn for the lost relationship, for what you had, and for him. You wanted nothing more than to be everything he wanted.

But you can’t keep trying. You are never going to reach the bar he has set, because he always raises it higher and higher, to an impossible height.

And now, you know that you have no other choice than to move on with your life and at least try and pretend like you are happy.

Because happy isn’t something you will have with him.

And you will never get the answers that you so desperately crave.