FicWad

Please enjoy, and review. I BEG OF YOU, REVIEW.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything but James Kellar, my OC. :( Poor lil dude... as you'll soon find out.

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PROLOGUE

Lazer's (James's) POV

"Mommy... Mommy wake up... I'm scared..." I whimpered as I knelt over her body. Her eyes were dull, and she wasn't moving. The big scary men who shot at her ran away. I didn't know who they were, except for the fact that they had really big fangs, messy black hair, and wore all white.

"Keep running." They told me before they took off. What does that mean? Run to where?

"Mommy..." I whispered.

"Kid, your mom's not gonna wake up." A voice behind me said. "She's dead. Gone."

"What?" I turned around. There stood four men, all wearing the types of outfits Mommy would wear.

"Kid, your mom's dead." The one that had spoken wore a yellow helmet that said "Good Luck" on it. He had on a red jacket with a yellow T-shirt, spotted with brown leopard spots. He also wore combat boots and jeans.

"Kobra! God, stop being so mean! How old's the kid, 5?" One with a yellow mask under red hair said. He wore a navy jacket with a company called Dead Pegasus on it and white T-shirt, and he was also wearing jeans and combat boots.

"I-I'm 7." I piped in.

"Alright, Kobra, so the kid's 7. Why are you being mean?"

"I'm not being mean. I'm being blunt and stating the facts. He'll have to get over it sooner or later." The red-jacketed man, apparently named Kobra shrugged. "I'd like it to be sooner, if we're going to take him in."

"Take me in? W-What about Mommy?" I asked, terrified.

"Hey, lil dude-" Another man walked to me and knelt on his knees to get to my level. He had curly brown hair which almost reached his shoulders, and he wore a black jacket over a navy T-shirt and jeans and combat boots as well. I noticed he and the others all had guns, similar to the one Mommy used. This man's gun was a bright blue. He took off his sunglasses, showing warm brown eyes. "We wanna help you out. My name is Ray, but you can call me Jet Star. The others there, the one in the red is Mikey, but call him Kobra Kid, the one with the scary green mask is Frank, but call him Fun Ghoul, and finally, our leader, in the Dead Pegasus jacket, is Gerard, but you call him Party Poison, OK? Now, what we wanna do is take you in and help you get back at the dudes who killed your mom. They're called the Dracs, and they work for Better Living Industries. Better Living Industries is a bad, bad company; they take away all your feelings and turn you into a mindless zombie. We're gonna help you get some well-deserved revenge. If it's alright with you, of course." He stroked my shoulder consolingly, but it didn't help.

"No! I wanna stay here with Mommy!" I wailed. "Mommy's not dead! Kobra's lying! He's lying! He's one of the bad men who hurt Mommy!" I pointed accusingly at Kobra.

"No I'm not!" Kobra sounded offended. "I drove them off! Of course, with the help of these 3, but I drove them off! Would I drive off my allies?"

"N-No..." I said quietly, sniffling a little.

Kobra sighed. "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, lil dude."

"It's OK. Um, also, I do have a name. It's James. But Mommy always called me Lazer Krab for some weird reason." I said. "And she told me to rarely call her Mommy. She said she wanted to be called 'Moonlight Murder' or something like that. I called her Mommy anyways."

"Moonlight Murder and her son Lazer Krab, huh? So your mom was a Killjoy, just like us." Party Poison smirked. "And you're a Killjoy-in-training. Come on, bud. Your mom would have wanted you to." He beckoned to me.

"You want me to go with you guys?" I looked at them curiously.

"Uh, yeah, that's what we've been trying to get you to do ever since we found you." Fun Ghoul rolled his eyes. "We've got another Einstein here, boys."

"Hey!" I pouted. "You big meanie!"

"Ouch, I'm SO offended."

"You're a stinkie-head!" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're hurting my feelings. Really. Stop. I'm gonna cry." He looked like he was trying to keep from laughing.

"YOU ARE A TURD!" I screamed. That was the highest insult I knew.

"OK, now he's getting a bit better at the insults." Party Poison chuckled. "He's moved up to 4th grade level from kindergarten, we're getting somewhere."

"Oh, yeah? Well you, my good sir, are a-" I will cut off this part, as I later learned these extremely vulgar words should never be written, said, or hand-signed. EVER.

"... Woah, man. Totally uncalled for." Jet Star glared at Fun Ghoul. "Let's keep the kid clean from now on, OK? You've sullied his ears quite a bit."

"What did all that mean?" I asked.

"Don't ask, Lazer. They're not nice words." Jet Star said.

"Oh... wait, Mommy used them sometimes. I know what some of them mean. She said the one that meant poopy when the Dracs came." I smiled.

"... I just realized something. We have gotten COMPLETELY off topic. Alright Krab, let's cut to the chase. You comin' with us, and actually having a chance of staying alive, or are you gonna mope on your mom's chest, and die of exhaustion and starvation and let the buzzards pick at your remains?" Kobra asked me. I blinked at the harsh tone in his voice, accenting the harshness of the situation at hand.

I stared at them for a little bit. Four complete and total strangers. Asking them to come with me, and kill people. A determined scowl on my face, I gave them my answer.

I took the green and purple gun (just like my long, shoulder-length hair) and my crab mask from Mommy's bag.

I put my mask on over my now-cold azure eyes, and put the gun in its holster.

I kissed Mommy's cheek and whispered that I loved her in her ear.

I stood, and took Party Poison's hand.

We walked out into the desert.