FicWad

So, I just had the worst Valentine's Day ever and wrote this as a way to vent. Not gonna get into detail but let's just say this one shot was partly inspired by things that actually happened. Hope you all like this, and hope your Valentine's Day was better than mine.

-ASM x3

A/N 2/20/12: When I wrote this I was so upset I didn't read over it before posting, but now that I have, holy shit excuse my terrible grammar. (well it wasn't THAT terrible, but still) Now it's all better. Enjoy :)



"I don't know, the pick ups on this guitar sound better, but the action on it sucks. Do you think I should cave and buy it anyway?"


I'm leaning against a wall decorated floor to ceiling in posters of various guitar brands, everything from Gibson to Ibanez. Ray's been rambling on and on for hours, well maybe not hours but it sure feels like it, about his next purchase. Whenever the walking fluff ball decides he wants a new guitar or amp, he usually drags me along. Most of the time I don't mind, considering I'm almost as much of a guitar freak as he is.


But today I don't have time to listen Ray act like a melodramatic teenage girl picking out a pair of shoes. Today's Valentine's Day and I have a lot of preparation to do. Gerard has a meeting today with our label until six, which sucks, but I'm still set on making this day amazing. He deserves it, after all. We've been dating for a little over two years now and each year Valentine's Day is better than the last. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. Sure, we've had our ups and downs, but who hasn't?


The connection Gerard and I have is stronger than anything else I've ever felt. We both had our fair share of fucking around when we were younger, being new to the whole 'being in a band' thing and all. We suddenly had girls and guys throwing themselves all over us and Gerard and I were more than happy to fulfill their desires. Our days of whoring around are over though. I haven't even looked at another person the same since Gerard confessed his feelings for me.


"-and the settings are sick. We've gotta get sponsored by them one day, I'm telling you."


I make a muffled sound of agreement and continue to nod my head in what I'm hoping are the right places. Now that my train of thought has drifted to Gerard, there's no turning back.


I remember the first time Gerard and I kissed so clearly it actually scares me sometimes. I remember the playful smile growing on his thin, pink lips, the adoration gleaming in his green irises as they met my amber ones, the scent of his cologne as he stepped closer and wrapped his arms firmly around my thin waist, the heat of his touch as he brought one hand up to cup my cheek, and finally, the explosion of pure passion as he closed the distance between our lips.


"Frank?"


The kiss started off slow, both of us hesistant and afraid of the consequences that would arise after making this decision.


"Frank?"


We didn't want to ruin the friendship that had formed between us during the last few years, but we both just couldn't hide our feelings any longer.


"Frank!"


I can still feel the texture of his raven black hair running through my fingers, the little mewling sounds he made in the back of hid throat as I deepend the kiss. The-


"FRANK!"


Ray successfully snaps me out of the day dream I hadn't even realized I was trapped in by shoving me against the wall I was leaning on.


"What the fuck dude?"


He shoots me an iritated glare, obviously figuring out that I wasn't paying attention to his spiel on guitar amp brands, and points his chin towards the front pocket of my black skinny jeans.


"You're phone has been ringing for the past three minutes, idiot."


The words are filled with sarcasm but the venom never reaches his voice. Ray is too use to my short attention span to get worked up about it.


"Oh."


I reach into my pocket and look at the display. 2 missed calls from Mikey I smile a bit unconsciously, just happy to see my best friend's name. Gerard and I had become close friends before we started dating, but it was through Mikey that we even met. We use to spend countless hours glued infront of the television watching Star Wars and reciting every line from memory or debating over comic book characters. We were a match made in geek heaven.


Ever since Gerard entered my life, however, Mikey and I have slowly drifted apart. I silently promise myself that I'll reconcile our friendship as soon as I can.


My phone begins to buzz again, but this time the display reads Incoming call from Gerard.


Definitely going to reconcile our friendship...right after this call.


"Hey babe!"


I answer cheerfully, excited as always to hear my gorgeous boyfriend's husky voice.


"Hey, where are you?"


"Music store at the mall with Ray. He's thinking of buying a new guitar."


"Another one?"


"Yep. I think he has a problem. Maybe it's time to have that intervention I've been planning."


I hear Gerard giggle and I can't help but smile to myself. That adorable giggle could make even my worst day that much better.


"You do that. Listen, about tonight..."


I sigh heavily, already knowing where he's going with this. I love how dedicated Gerard is to our band an all, but he can be such a workaholic. I've lost count of how many dates we've had to miss out on due to meetings and whatnot.


"Don't tell me you're canceling tonight, Gerard. I've had this all planned out for weeks."


And that isn't a lie. I have the night planned down to the brand of champagne we'll be sipping on. I was going to pack us a picnic basket filled with Gerard's favorite foods and drive down to the beach and have dinner under the stars. I also have a really special gift I've saved up months to afford. It is a stunning silver ring band with 'To The End' engraved inside of it. I know Gerard is going to love it.


"Plus, it's Valentine's Day. I'm supposed to spend the day showering my boyfriend with love."


"No, I'm not canceling, I'm just running a little late."


Well, that's lame but not a complete disaster. I was just wondering what I should do to kill all this free time I had on my hands. As if on cue, my phone beeps signaling that I have recieved a text message.


From Mikey: Hey short stuff, I miss ur face.


As soon as I read the message, I can't control the stupid grin that spreads across my face. Looks like Mikey just saved the day.


"Fine, I'll probably go spend sometime with Mikey then. I haven't seen him in a while."


I can practically feel Gerard brighten over the phone.


"Great. So you won't be home for a while then?"


That was kind of a strange question. Then again, Gerard is a strange person.


"Nope."


"Alright, awesome. See you tonight, baby."


"Bye Gee."


As soon as I disconnect the call, I answer Mikey's text.


Surprisingly enough, I miss urs too. Can I pass by later?


I had wandered off quite a bit while talking to Gerard, so I make my way back to where I'd last seen Ray. To my immense relief, he had found someone else to rant on to about guitars with. Not wanting to draw attention away from this new guy, I quickly tell Ray I'm leaving and walk out of the store. As I unlock my car door, my phone beeps.


'Course! See you then


I quickly make my way back to the apartment Gerard and I share. This is New Jersey, so it isn't anything special. We are rarely home anyway, so we decided to buy a decent enough place to live and save our money for more important things on tour.


While turning the corner onto our street, I spot a man selling roses. I think to myself 'what the hell' and buy a dozen. They are actually beautiful, fully bloosmed and deep green leaves. They have abnormally sharp thorns however, which I have to avoid if I want to make it to my apartment without opening a gash on my hand.


I figure I'll shower and get ready quickly before leaving to see Mikey. The picnic is all packed and ready to go, so everything is pretty much taken care of. I expect to find the apartment empty and quiet once I arrive, considering I am the only one home. As soon as I opened the door, I noticed that the light to the bedroom is on. Gerard often forgets to turn off the lights though, so that isn't so strange. I swear, we are going to fall into debt merely on the light bill one of these days.


I walk into the kitchen and take a water bottle out from the fridge. As I bring the cold water to my parched lips, I hear noises coming from the bedroom.


"Gerard?"


It was stupid to call out like that, Gerard isn't home so I'm not going to get a reply. As expected, I don't. I figure Gerard had left the television on as well amd walk towards the room to turn it off.


I keep getting this weird feeling at the pit of my stomach and it gets worse and worse with each step I take. I try shrugging it off as my occasional paranoia and try not to worry too much. It isn't until I am stood outside the door and hear moaning that I realize something is terribly wrong.


I throw open the door, hesistant at first of what I might discover on the other side. There, laid out on the bed sheets, our bed sheets, is Gerard. Completely naked. I'd usually welcome this sight if it wasn't for the other body arched on top of him, also completely naked, thrusting into Gerard like there is no tomorrow, making him moan like a porn star.


At first I just stand there, frozen to the spot where my Chuck Taylors are making contact with the hard wood floor. This must be a dream. This can't be real. Maybe I got into a car accident on my way home and now I'm stuck in a coma, making things up in my damaged mind. I sure hope so. Not that I fancy being brain damaged, I just know that anything would be better than this.


No way could this be real, no way. My Gerard loves me way too much to betray me in the worst way possible. He's told me countless times how I perfect I am for him, how I'm everything he'll ever want or need. Why would he be going to someone else to fulfill his needs? I'm more than enough, aren't I?


The scene unfolding before me continues, both too caught up in their actions to notice my sudden presence in the room. The guy who is currently ontop of my boyfriend has his back to me. I can't tell who he is from this view, but the thin, black hair falling down his back seems familiar.


"Oh fuck, Bert."


That moan that just escaped Gerard's lips does two things. The first, is that I finally realize who this is. Bert fucking McCraken. I vaguely remember him as being the vocalist to an up and coming band our label just signed. The second, is that it puts me in motion. Instead of being frozen in shock, I am now writhing with anger.


"What the fuck is this, Gerard?"


The sound of my voice booms throughout the room and echoes off the walls. Gerard is cut off mid moan and quickly seperates himself from Bert. Bert barely moves or reacts at all. I can't stand being in this room any longer, I have to get away before I do something I'll regret.


I storm out of the room, and Gerard quickly follows, throwing on a pair of boxers he had left on the floor.


"Frank! Baby, wait!"


I snap my head around at that pet name and am filled with even more anger. I did stop retreating before I reached the front door however, which I'm guessing was Gerard's ultimate goal.


"Don't fucking call me that, I'm not you're baby. Not anymore."


Gerard's eyes glass over and his bottom lip begins to quiver. How pathetic. Gerard can be the best actor in the world when he wants to be. And I have a feeling that by the end of this conversation, his performance will deserve an Oscar.


"Why, Gerard? Why would you do this? Am I not good enough for you? Did the past almost three years mean nothing to you? Because they have been the best fucking years of my life, and now I feel like it was all a lie."


Gerard looks down guiltly and clears his throat before speaking again.


"I'm sorr-"


I cut him off before he can even form the word.


"No! Don't say you're sorry when not two minutes ago you were sprawled out on our bed, moaning like a whore while Bert fucked your brains out. Bert. I can't believe you thought that scum bag was worth ruining our relationship!"


"I didn't! Look, this thing with Bert and I just sort of happened. It was a mistake, I wasn't thinking."


I raise an accusing eye brow at Gerard, not sure if I even want to know the answer to the question I am about to ask.


"How long has this been going on?"


"Just today, I swear!"


To anyone else, they would have believed Gerard in a second. I on the other hand, know Gerard too well. I spot his cell phone on the kitchen counter and as soon as it passes by his vision, his eyes widen in what I assume to be fear. First I look through his call history and find a long list of calls from Bert, all which took place during times Gerard was allegedly at meetings. After that, I looked through his text messages to confirm my suspicions. Before I can click the button on the phone to view the messages, Gerard snatches the phone from my hands.


"Who do you think you are, my mother? You can't just look through my phone and invade my privacy like that."


"I think I'm you're fucking boyfriend that you were just caught red handed cheating on. Hand over the god damn phone."


He stalls for a second, clearly trying to figure out a way to talk himself out of this. Eventually he gives in and holds it out for me to take. What I find there makes me want to be sick. Not only are there flirty and obscene messages addressed to Bert, there are countless others with guys I don't even know. There are so many I lose count after ten. I am at a lost for words, for a while I just feel numb. I feel as if I am walking through a room filled with deadly gas and the fumes are taking control of my body.


I calmly place the cell phone on the counter and reach into my pocket. I pull out a small, red, velvety box and throw it at Gerard. He catches it before it hits the floor and throws me a bewildered glance before opening it. Gerard gasps as the silver band catches the bright light of the kitchen. He takes it out of the box to inspect it more closely, and I can tell the exact moment he reads the inscription because his eyes well up with tears.


"Frankie, I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot, you deserve so much better."


At this point, I am so numb that Gerard's voice sounds like nothing more than a far away voice echoing through a tunnel. My voice sounds not much different when I finally get the will power to respond.


"You're right, I do."


Gerard steps closer to me and brings me into a tight embrace. I stay still in his arms, not knowing how to respond to this contact. He pulls away slightly and frowns at my lack of emotion. Whether it be to elicite a response or to get me to soften up, Gerard quickly brings his lips to mine before I can protest. The kiss is cold and forced, nothing compared to kisses we've shared in the past. It is just now that I realized the electricity that had once flowed so intensly between us has been fading away for months. I pull away before Gerard can try anything else.


"Gerard."


I mean for the word to sound demanding, but it comes out weak instead, barely above a whisper.


"We can talk about this, please, I love you."


"No, you don't."


And with that, I am walking out the front door, ignoring Gerard's cries and pleads.


What now? I think to myself. I want nothing more than to hit up a bar and drink myself stupid once I reach my car. But, as if he were my guardian angel come to save my lost soul, Mikey calls. Without much thought I answer it.


"Hello?"


I wince once I hear the sound of my voice. I sound like a wreck, voice all hoarse and strained. Mikey must hear it too because he instantly panics.


"Frankie? What's wrong?"


"Gerard-"


My sentence is cut short by a sob I hadn't even noticed I'd been holding back.


"Where are you? Do you want me to go pick you up?"


My heart tugs at Mikey's concerned voice. It's nice to know someone cares about me when I feel so worthless.


"No, I can drive. Is it alright if I still go over?"


"Of course!"


Shortly after, I'm pulling up Mikey's drive way to find that he's already outside waiting on me. As soon as I get out of the car he runs over to me and hugs me tightly without saying a word. I still have that numb feeling pulsing through my body, but the gesture comforts me a bit. He pulls back after a few moments and takes my hand to lead me inside. He offers me a cup of coffee and I nod in agreement. Trust Mikey to have coffee running at all hours of the day.


He pours me a mug and places it infront of me after preparing it just the way I like. Usually I'd dive right in and take a huge sip, but the numbness is making it hard for me to react to anything. Mikey and I sit in silence for a while, Mikey obviously waiting for me to explain. I'm not in the mood to beat around the bush so I come right out and say it.


"Gerard cheated on me."


Mikey looks up from where he had been gazing into his coffee to look at me with wide eyes. In
any other situation I'd laugh at his perfect impersonation of a deer caugh in the head lights.


"W-what?"


I get up from my seat and pace the kitchen, retelling the events of today to Mikey. Once I am done, the air falls eerily silent. Mikey obviously is at a lost for words, not that I blame him. If it were the other way around, I don't know what I'd do or say to comfort a friend that had been through something like this.


Suddenly, like a random shock of adrenalin to my veins, that raging anger I felt earlier comes back full force. I don't know what to do, it feels like my body is on autopilot. I try diverting my path from Mikey, afraid that I might hurt him, and walk down the hall way leading to Mikey's bedroom. I punch the creme colored wall to my left, successfully making a hole through it and making my knuckles a bloody mess.


I continue to punch and kick at the wall, venting out all my anger, until I feel a pair of skinny arms grabbing firmly around my waist from behind and pulling me away from it. I hadn't even noticed I'd been screaming until I hear Mikey yell at the top of his lungs.


"FRANK! STOP IT! Please, you're hurting yourself."


I thrash in Mikey's arms for a minute until the sudden anger fades away. Now that the numbness and anger are drained from my system, all that's left is the emotional pain and hurt. I slump down in Mikey's arms and turn around so I can bury my face in the crook of his neck as I cry my eyes out.


He lead me the rest of the way to his room, and lays me down on the bed, not letting go of me for a second and lying down right next to me. He says nothing, but lets me cry. Only Mikey would know that's exactly what I need right now. He rubs soothing circles on the small of my back and whispers reasurrances into my ear. I don't know what I did to deserve a friend like Mikey, but I am forever grateful that he's part of my life.


"Mikey, I feel so fucking worthless right now. I thought Gerard loved me. After everythinh we've been through, how could he do this to me?"


Mikey is silent at first, no doubt trying to come up with a response that is both truthful and spares my feelings at the same time.


"I know Gerard is my brother and all, but you deserve so much better, Frank."


I sniffle and tried to compose myself a bit. And fail.


"He said the same thing."


"Maybe because it's true. Gerard is a compulsive liar, and an idiot too apparently if he can't see that he lost the greatest thing that could ever happen to him."


I blush at Mikey's compliment and he must notice because he laughs and pulls me up so we're lying next to eachother, face to face on the bed.


"You're so special, Frankie. I don't think anyone could ever be good enough for you. Your honesty, your unique personality, your awesome sense of humor, your ever present energy, your breath taking eyes..."


Mikey trails off towards the end and just leans forward until our foreheads are resting against each other. Is Mikey in love with me? When did this happen? I thought we were just great friends, but if what he just said was anything to go by, he developed feelings for me somewhere along the way. I've never even thought of Mikey in that way, but now that the idea is planted in my head, I can't help but imagine the possibilites.


Mikey is night and day compared to Gerard. He is the most loyal person I know, he's always there for me and can make me laugh harder than any other friend I've ever had. I feel so comfortable with him, I feel like I can be the real me without having to tone it down like I do around Gerard. The thoughts just get better and better until I'm so caught up in thinking about Mikey, that I completely forget Gerard even exists.


All I feel is Mikey's warm breath on my face, scented with a mixture of coffee and skittles. The smell intoxicates me in the matter of minutes and I get the urge to get even closer. Luckily, Mikey doesn't keep me waiting very long. He leans forward without warning and before I know it, his lips are pressed firmly against mine.


Our lips get ahead of minds and are moving together in perfect syncronization without even having to put much thought behind it. There's no bumping noses or awkward angles, the kiss is nothing less than...perfect. Something snaps into my place in my head, and once it does, everything makes so much sense. Why hadn't I seen this before? Mikey. Mikey. Mikey.


I bring my arms up around Mikey's neck and tug at his hair until he gets the point and leans on his back on the bed, allowing me to climb on top. Mikey runs his tongue along my bottom lip and I open my mouth, giving him access to explore my mouth.


The kiss takes hold of all of my senses. It's everything the kiss I shared with Gerard earlier wasn't. I can somehow feel just how much Mikey loves and cares about me through this one kiss. The way he brings me further into him by pushing at the back of my neck shows how much he needs me. The way he grips my shoulders, I can sense how long he's probably been waiting to do this.


All these years I was so infatuated with Gerard that I failed to see what was right infront of my eyes. Who knows where we would be right now if this had happened back then. It hurts to know that all the memories I had with Gerard will now be tainted. But I don't have time to dwell on that thought too long before I'm imagining all the wonderful memories I can now create with Mikey.


We reluctantly break the kiss to breathe, both panting heavily from the intensity of it.


"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."


"Why didn't you do it sooner?"


"I don't know, I just didn't want to ruin your relationship with Gerard. You seemed so happy with him."


My face drops from the smile it had formed into after kissing Mikey to a deep frown once I hear Gerard's name.


"Yeah, well, look how that turned out."


Mikey brings me into his arms again and kisses the top of my head as I rest my head on his chest.


"I love you so much, Frankie. I know you're hurting, but from now on my mission is to get that heart stopping smile back on your face. I'll never treat you like Gerard did, that's just not me."


I smile, not a huge one, but it's getting there, because I know Mikey is being a hundred percent honest. He really is so much different from his brother.


"Yeah, I know. I love you too, Mikes."


Mikey looks down and his smile widens even more when he realizes I have a smile on my face matching his.


"Happy Valentine's Day."




Rate & Review please! It'll cheer me up.