Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto

No Means No

by Monoshiri 5 reviews

The real root of the animosity between Orochimaru and Itachi. Kisame tries to convince Itachi to do something he swore never to do again...

Category: Naruto - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Itachi, Other - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2006-06-26 - Updated: 2006-06-27 - 372 words - Complete

5Funny
"...no."

Hoshigake Kisame fixed a killing glare on his newly minted fourteen-year-old partner. Uchiha Itachi took no notice, continuing to stare at the scene before him with ill-hidden disgust. Kisame gave up the scowl (privately disturbed that it hadn't worked) and attempted reasoning with the younger man instead.

"Itachi-kun, it's just for one night."

"...no."

"The rest of us had to do it as well, you know."

Itachi fixed the taller man with a blank 'funny, it's attempting to communicate' expression. "I presume we both speak the same language, yet you do not seem to understand the very simple concept of 'no'."

"It's just one of Orochimaru's oddities. It's really not that bad."

"...no."

Kisame growled and pawed Samehada's hilt. He'd only known the boy two weeks, and already Itachi was getting on his last nerve. "Fine, you explain yourself to Orochimaru, then. I don't expect he'll be pleased."

To his partner's surprise, Itachi heaved a short, sharp sigh and glanced up at Kisame. "You know...I had a number of reasons for wanting my clan dead, but chief among them were their unending demands that I "look after" Sasuke. There is only so much vomit one can clean up without going off the deep end...it had better be important, or no one will find your remains." This last part was spoken to the little boy who had wandered up to Itachi and was now staring up at him with wide, melting dark eyes; the illusion of the adorable innocent was marred only slightly by the fact that the brat's six arms were all sticky up to the elbow and currently clutching at a fold of Itachi's freshly dry-cleaned cloak.

The child held out an empty cone as evidence. "Jiroubou ate my ice-cream. Can I have some more?"

"I shall drown you in a river of blood and then give your corpse to Zetsu to amuse himself with."

Kisame smiled as the child fled back to his compatriots. "Hey, you're not half-bad at this babysitting thing, Itachi-kun."

"Is this really requisite of me so long as Orochimaru remains with Akatsuki?"

"Well...yes."

Kisame wasn't totally sure, but he thought he saw his partner's eyes, just for a moment, gleam red. "Ah."
Sign up to rate and review this story