FicWad

Gerard was drowning. He was being pulled inside the earth, his skin tearing on the rough rocks that snagged against his skin. He was letting the pain wash over him, letting his mind be trashed and torn, his eyes glazed over in a helpless haze.

He was around, but he was so gone. He walked around our house with vacant eyes, a slow speed as something ate up his insides, if he even still had any left. He did nothing with a passion, every move he made was mechanical. Even at school, I had started to notice his movements weren't as fluent as they could be.

Gerard Way; fake, empty, alone. A mechanical animal.

I almost laughed at the thought. I had always known him to be fake and empty, but I had never expected him to be alone. Alone, surrounded by people. That's the worst kind of loneliness, or so I had heard.

I'd never been alone like that. I had a friend, a nice enough guy with a brown Afro. He was cool, we hung out, did some things together. We were best friends, so of course he noticed my obsession with Gerard.

"Dude, stop staring at that Way kid. It's kinda creepy." Ray told me one day.

"I wasn't staring!" I had been staring, no doubt about it. It had become a fascination for me, comparing the black and white sides of Gerard, observing how they mushed together in a watered down, helpless grey.

"Dude, you were totally staring." Ray pressed on, scoffing at my denial.

"Whatever. You think Pikachu is male." I countered easily, turning the subject to something I knew would distract my nosy Afro headed friend.

"Pikachu is a boy!" Ray yelled, outraged that I dare think otherwise.

I rolled my eyes. "Pikachu is obviously a chick."

Ray's mouth hung open in horror. "You did not just go there!"

I smirked defiantly. "I think I just did."

I only half payed attention to my own argument, but lunch hour ended before Ray could completely squash my half-hearted resistance. Thankfully, Ray left the enormous topic that is Gerard alone.

**

Some might have said Gerard was bipolar, not completely understanding the term. Gerard was a person of multiple interests, of no true home and no true reality, floating on a cloud. He wasn't bipolar, he didn't stay with one opinion for long periods of time, he switched his views every twelve to eight hours on weekdays, confusing everyone.

When Gerard had first come home from school in his preppy clothes, mom liked him well enough. Thought he was a bit weird, liking all those light things, but gave him his freedom granted he didn't push his views on anyone else.

Imagine her shock at seeing Gerard dressed in black for the first time, looking nearly as punk as I did. She actually thought he had stolen my clothes, and asked him to give them back to me, thinking he was mocking me. I laughed, and she looked bewildered. What was wrong with her child?

I explained that the clothes on Gerard were indeed his, and she was pleasantly surprised, any trace of annoyance gone from her small body. "Oh dear, why don't you dress like that all the time? It looks awful nice on you."

Gerard just muttered something incomprehensible about one thing or another, not meeting my mothers eyes. There might have been a thank you in the jumble of words that barely manage to pass his hardly moving lips.

My mom had smiled, accepting the unintelligible words with ease. She chuckled a bit, too. She liked Gerard, thought he was that perfect amount of insane.

I thought he had long since reached the point of insanity, and was swimming in a self created pool of it. He was over the edge, perhaps hanging from a long coil of rope. Maybe he'd already let go.

But my mother thought Gerard was happy. She never heard him cry himself to sleep, rarely saw but never noticed the hollow looks he gave. She never noticed how washed out he looked, or that the healthy glow he wore was sprayed on.

It seemed you could only see the terror of Gerard Way if you knew to look, if you bothered to look for any pain. But that was the sad part, wasn't it? That Gerard was dying, was dead, and only I could seem to see it.

The world was so twisted, so ugly and such an unforgiving place. You Could see the sorrow rolling off Gerard if you cared to look, but that was the catch. No one ever looked.

My parents cared about Gerard, to some extent. They were trying to make him happy, but were too caught up in their own pride to notice they were failing.

It was awful, in my mind. Yet my parents were only human, only what they were wired to be and nothing more. They really weren't people of significance, nor was I.

Gerard was.

He was twisted and deformed, loved and hated in the perfect balance that brought him to insanity. Maybe he wasn't insane. I know I thought he was, in one way or another.

Maybe it was everyone else that was losing their minds. No, it had to be him. He showed off his toned chest in gym class, then cowered into himself at home. It was so stupid, yet I was so undeniably fascinated.

I asked him, one day at home, why he hung around with the popular crowd when he was such a different person outside of school.

"It's the easiest option." Gerard shrugged.

I cocked my head. "What you talkin' 'bout? You listen to Slayer, and then you agree when your 'friends' insult the same band."

"They don't ask questions." Was all the more he would say on the matter.

So I assumed there were questions that needed to be asked.

Well, here we are. I have discovered that this story does weird things to me. The first chapter, I wasn't really writing, I was in a haze of weirdness. The second, I was sort of pissed for no reason. This one, which I've been writing late into the night, made me cry last night. I'm such a wuss. And what's worse, I was listening to Thy Drug In Me Is You. I thought that song was cry-proof... so yes, as you might have guessed by me updating this, I'm not giving up. I have a huge writer's block with It Would Seem I'm Going To Hell if you read that, BTW. Mikey just ticks me off in that story...

Well, thank you all so much for you reviews and support!

~Althea T^T (IDK why I made that face... but it was fun.)