Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Chosen One's Chosen
The Chosen One's Chosen
Harry returns to Hogwarts from a successful summer of destroying the last remaining horcruxes to receive an interesting idea on how he could help the war effort. Harry/Harem
?Blocked
Prologue
In a town called Little Hangleton an owl was flying to an old house that at one time could have been called majestic. Now it merely looked like a dump. Tied to the bird's talon was a small leather pouch and what looked like some old pieces of parchment. As the owl flew over the town, no one paid it much mind after all the entire country was seeing an increase in daylight owl sightings. At least that was what the telly said.
As the owl reached the house it flew into one of the open windows on the first floor. Where it saw a very large rat with a silver left hand where its paw should be. The owl tilted hits head to the side in thought before it decided it could always rip that off with it's talons, besides it was hungry and those stupid humans at home may not feed it before they send it off again. As the owl was getting ready to strike the rat suddenly stopped moving and looked up at the owl. It squeaked and started to morph into a man.
When it stopped changing the owl wondered why it stopped only about ninety percent of the way through before it realized it almost consumed a very disgusting wizard and decided to swear off eating rats with siver appendages from that point on. Unfortunately, it was to late for that rat that had the small silver dildo dragging behind it, that it had ate two weeks ago.
"What do you have there bird, The Prophet, or The Quibbler?" The rat-human asked.
The owl decided it wouldn't be insulted by the question since the the rat-human was obviously an idiot. Everyone knew The Quibbler's owls were purple for some reason. The owl personally thought it was because all the ruddy birds were insane, but what can you do.
The owl stuck out the talon with the pouch and the parchment and waited for the stupid rat-human to pay it and get one of The Prophets so it could be on it's way to the next home. Where that man with the weird goats lives. Why he kept them around the owl would never know.
The rat-human looked at the price on the paper and nearly fell over. "A galleon! A whole blooming galleon! What in the bloody hell could be so bloody important that it cost a whole bloody galleon!" The owl was thinking of changing it's stance on eating the rat-human when it suddenly went into an expletive fueled rant about the price of the paper. When suddenly, the rat-human stopped and grabbed it's left arm right and hissed in pain. When the rat-human no longer seemed to be in pain it started digging through it's pockets until it came up with the right amount of sickles and knuts to equal a galleon and put it into the pouch while grumbling about impatient masters and newspapers with to high of an opinion of itself when it snatched the paper away then said,"Well you got your money ya vulture now get lost." The owl decided from that point on that it would merely kill rats with silver appendages not eat. So the owl flew around the room once in hope that the rat-human would be stupid enough to turn back into a rat, but no such luck so it flew back out the window and made it's way to the weird goat house.
The rat-huerr, I mean the wizard, also known as Wormtail, Peter Pettigrew, and Shiny Bottom(but he hasn't been called that since grade school), was walking(really he was scurrying but he would like to think he was walking) to the throne room of his master to deliver his morning paper. He thought about reading the paper on the way there, but decided the pain such an act would cause wasn't worth it. He pushed open the doors to his master's throne room and entered only to stop when he saw three more death eaters in you-know-who's throne room.
"I see you took your time getting here Wormtail." His master said(really he hissed it but you get the idea) while drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair. "Did you get the paper as I asked wormtail."
"Of course I did my lord." Shiny Bottom said while scurrying to his master to hand it it's paper(Fun Fact: Turns out old scaly butt lost it's Frank and beans due to the resurrection ritual not having the genitalia of an non magical creature, apparently old scaly butt didn't want anything non magical in the ritual that didn't have to be. Boy was that an uncomfortable moment for Shiny Bottom when he found out). The Dark Lord opened it's paper to read only to drop it like it was on fire not a second after it started reading. Shiny Bottom picked up the paper and began to read it aloud.
Chosen One to Start Harem to Boost Morale in the War Effort!!
By James Scrivenshaft
Harry Potter, The Chosen One, will now have a new moniker added to his name. The Chosen One Who Gets To Choose. The Chosen One has decided to start a harem after learning that many women are too scared to leave their homes in fear of being attacked and raped by death eaters. "I feel it is only right to protect these women from a fate worst than death in my opinion." The Chosen One said while stroking the hair of a beautiful redhead whose face was in his lap. "I mean look at Susan here she was too scared to leave her dorm room until I told her I would add her to my harem. Now she never goes there she stays out all the time. I mean look at that face. Susan, honey look at the nice man." At this point the interview went down hill as the young woman refused to come up for air , as it were, for fear that some other member of the harem would take her place. What followed involved five women, a man, and a rubber duck. I'll let you imagine what happened since you probably wouldn't be that far off.
At this point in the story you are probably wondering who are the fortunate women to ride the Head of The Potter Family. First up is the first one to join the harem and also who gave The Chosen One the idea originally Ms. Luna Lovegood. A pretty blonde with blue eyes, who insisted I call her Miss Love Real Good when I first met her. The second to join up were The Patil Twins, yes twins, Padma and Parvati. Two beautiful Indian women, who say they joined because they assumed it would have finally got the boys at school to quit asking if twins really do share everything. Fourth to join up was Miss Tonks, who insisted she had no first name, Miss Tonks, who is a former auror and twenty-three years old, said she joined the harem because she wanted to get back at an ex who strung her along for more then a year before finally admitting that he was gay. "I really should have known I mean he was sensitive and always looked at my face when I spoke. That should have sent up red flags right there. I mean look at these babies how can you look away once you've seen them." For the record I would like to go on record as saying that I completely agree with Miss Tonks on this which is why I have no idea what she looks like. The fifth to join is Miss Susan Bones. Who is a beautiful Redhead, who joined after Mr. Potter went up to her dorm to ckeck on her and 'happened' to mention the fact that he is starting a harem. Miss Bones has not returned to her dorm since and now resides in the Head Boy's room with Mr. Potter and the rest of the harem.
When I asked Mr. Potter how he was able to get into the girl's dorm in the hufflepuff section of the castle. He merely laughed and says that he has his ways. Mr. Potter has asked that I mention that he will be holding interviews for additions to the harem on the sixth of each month until either the war ends or until he can't take anymore. He also asked that I put the word out for a search for a Ronald Weasley, who is stuck in his animagus form which is a rat with a small silver dildo being dragged behind it. When asked how this came about Mr. Potter says that Mr. Weasley was caught spying on his friend, a Miss Hermione Granger, by Miss Granger when she was using the shower, and Miss Granger took exception to this. So she removed his motivation, as it were, to continue to spy on her. After Mr. Potter, being the friend he was, replaced the missing appendage with a silver replacement. They decided to go through the ritual to see if they were animagus. When they were doing the ritual Mr. Weasley made a mistake when making his potion and was stuck in his form. Mr. Potter says his friend has been missing for two weeks now so any information would be appreciated. When asked what his form was Mr. Potter got a sheepish grin and said his form was a rabbit.
Shiny Bottom put down the paper after he finished reading. He stared at the floor for a moment feeling sorry for his former owner he knew how hard it was to be a rat out in the world alone. He looked up to see his master looking angry which usually meant that Shiny bottom was in for some pain, luckily for him one of the other death eaters spoke up in a rather ,in his opinion, annoying whiny voice. "Why does Potter get a harem I'm a Malfoy. Father, I want a harem and I want one now. It's not fair for Potter to have a harem and for me not to have one."
The Elder Malfoy who has more experience in the moods of his master did the smart thing and kept his mouth shut. Unfortunately, his son was an idiot that didn't know when to be quiet and let wormtail receive the punishment he deserved for being foolish enough to read that article out loud in his masters presence. "I mean come on isn't there someway you get me a harem after all we're Malfoys and we bow to no one!"
Lucius Malfoy's eyes widened when his idiot son said that and cast a furtive look to his master see the damage the statement had. His master seemed calm which in his past experience told him it was worst than if he appeared truly angry. Lucius prayed for it to be swift at least, even if he knew it wouldn't be. He could only hope his idiot son shut up soon for he now would share his fate for producing such a weak heir.
Shiny Bottom almost grinned as the Malfoy Heir continued to rant about the injustice of Potter having a harem when he did not, but didn't for fear of moving his master's wrath on to him. As he saw his master appear to calm down he slowly moved away in fear of sharing the Malfoy Heir's punishment. Finally The Dark Lord had enough and silenced the boy with a poke of his wand. The young Malfoy actually had the testicular fortitude to glare at the dark lord until he remembered who he was dealing with then went deathly pale. "So young Malfoy you wish for a harem of your own." As he said this he smiled at the Malfoy heir like he was actually considering it.
The Malfoy Heir proving his stupidity once again only nodded quickly and go to his knees and kiss his master's robe. Voldemort smiled before he said, "Why would you want one of those when you will no longer have the equipment to truly enjoy it?"
Needless to say that there was much screaming and no joy as scaly butt decided to add more to the club of no frank and no beans.
A/N:Review or don't. Don't care I'm finshing it regardless, but would like some feed back since this is my first fic and I have no beta.
In a town called Little Hangleton an owl was flying to an old house that at one time could have been called majestic. Now it merely looked like a dump. Tied to the bird's talon was a small leather pouch and what looked like some old pieces of parchment. As the owl flew over the town, no one paid it much mind after all the entire country was seeing an increase in daylight owl sightings. At least that was what the telly said.
As the owl reached the house it flew into one of the open windows on the first floor. Where it saw a very large rat with a silver left hand where its paw should be. The owl tilted hits head to the side in thought before it decided it could always rip that off with it's talons, besides it was hungry and those stupid humans at home may not feed it before they send it off again. As the owl was getting ready to strike the rat suddenly stopped moving and looked up at the owl. It squeaked and started to morph into a man.
When it stopped changing the owl wondered why it stopped only about ninety percent of the way through before it realized it almost consumed a very disgusting wizard and decided to swear off eating rats with siver appendages from that point on. Unfortunately, it was to late for that rat that had the small silver dildo dragging behind it, that it had ate two weeks ago.
"What do you have there bird, The Prophet, or The Quibbler?" The rat-human asked.
The owl decided it wouldn't be insulted by the question since the the rat-human was obviously an idiot. Everyone knew The Quibbler's owls were purple for some reason. The owl personally thought it was because all the ruddy birds were insane, but what can you do.
The owl stuck out the talon with the pouch and the parchment and waited for the stupid rat-human to pay it and get one of The Prophets so it could be on it's way to the next home. Where that man with the weird goats lives. Why he kept them around the owl would never know.
The rat-human looked at the price on the paper and nearly fell over. "A galleon! A whole blooming galleon! What in the bloody hell could be so bloody important that it cost a whole bloody galleon!" The owl was thinking of changing it's stance on eating the rat-human when it suddenly went into an expletive fueled rant about the price of the paper. When suddenly, the rat-human stopped and grabbed it's left arm right and hissed in pain. When the rat-human no longer seemed to be in pain it started digging through it's pockets until it came up with the right amount of sickles and knuts to equal a galleon and put it into the pouch while grumbling about impatient masters and newspapers with to high of an opinion of itself when it snatched the paper away then said,"Well you got your money ya vulture now get lost." The owl decided from that point on that it would merely kill rats with silver appendages not eat. So the owl flew around the room once in hope that the rat-human would be stupid enough to turn back into a rat, but no such luck so it flew back out the window and made it's way to the weird goat house.
The rat-huerr, I mean the wizard, also known as Wormtail, Peter Pettigrew, and Shiny Bottom(but he hasn't been called that since grade school), was walking(really he was scurrying but he would like to think he was walking) to the throne room of his master to deliver his morning paper. He thought about reading the paper on the way there, but decided the pain such an act would cause wasn't worth it. He pushed open the doors to his master's throne room and entered only to stop when he saw three more death eaters in you-know-who's throne room.
"I see you took your time getting here Wormtail." His master said(really he hissed it but you get the idea) while drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair. "Did you get the paper as I asked wormtail."
"Of course I did my lord." Shiny Bottom said while scurrying to his master to hand it it's paper(Fun Fact: Turns out old scaly butt lost it's Frank and beans due to the resurrection ritual not having the genitalia of an non magical creature, apparently old scaly butt didn't want anything non magical in the ritual that didn't have to be. Boy was that an uncomfortable moment for Shiny Bottom when he found out). The Dark Lord opened it's paper to read only to drop it like it was on fire not a second after it started reading. Shiny Bottom picked up the paper and began to read it aloud.
Chosen One to Start Harem to Boost Morale in the War Effort!!
By James Scrivenshaft
Harry Potter, The Chosen One, will now have a new moniker added to his name. The Chosen One Who Gets To Choose. The Chosen One has decided to start a harem after learning that many women are too scared to leave their homes in fear of being attacked and raped by death eaters. "I feel it is only right to protect these women from a fate worst than death in my opinion." The Chosen One said while stroking the hair of a beautiful redhead whose face was in his lap. "I mean look at Susan here she was too scared to leave her dorm room until I told her I would add her to my harem. Now she never goes there she stays out all the time. I mean look at that face. Susan, honey look at the nice man." At this point the interview went down hill as the young woman refused to come up for air , as it were, for fear that some other member of the harem would take her place. What followed involved five women, a man, and a rubber duck. I'll let you imagine what happened since you probably wouldn't be that far off.
At this point in the story you are probably wondering who are the fortunate women to ride the Head of The Potter Family. First up is the first one to join the harem and also who gave The Chosen One the idea originally Ms. Luna Lovegood. A pretty blonde with blue eyes, who insisted I call her Miss Love Real Good when I first met her. The second to join up were The Patil Twins, yes twins, Padma and Parvati. Two beautiful Indian women, who say they joined because they assumed it would have finally got the boys at school to quit asking if twins really do share everything. Fourth to join up was Miss Tonks, who insisted she had no first name, Miss Tonks, who is a former auror and twenty-three years old, said she joined the harem because she wanted to get back at an ex who strung her along for more then a year before finally admitting that he was gay. "I really should have known I mean he was sensitive and always looked at my face when I spoke. That should have sent up red flags right there. I mean look at these babies how can you look away once you've seen them." For the record I would like to go on record as saying that I completely agree with Miss Tonks on this which is why I have no idea what she looks like. The fifth to join is Miss Susan Bones. Who is a beautiful Redhead, who joined after Mr. Potter went up to her dorm to ckeck on her and 'happened' to mention the fact that he is starting a harem. Miss Bones has not returned to her dorm since and now resides in the Head Boy's room with Mr. Potter and the rest of the harem.
When I asked Mr. Potter how he was able to get into the girl's dorm in the hufflepuff section of the castle. He merely laughed and says that he has his ways. Mr. Potter has asked that I mention that he will be holding interviews for additions to the harem on the sixth of each month until either the war ends or until he can't take anymore. He also asked that I put the word out for a search for a Ronald Weasley, who is stuck in his animagus form which is a rat with a small silver dildo being dragged behind it. When asked how this came about Mr. Potter says that Mr. Weasley was caught spying on his friend, a Miss Hermione Granger, by Miss Granger when she was using the shower, and Miss Granger took exception to this. So she removed his motivation, as it were, to continue to spy on her. After Mr. Potter, being the friend he was, replaced the missing appendage with a silver replacement. They decided to go through the ritual to see if they were animagus. When they were doing the ritual Mr. Weasley made a mistake when making his potion and was stuck in his form. Mr. Potter says his friend has been missing for two weeks now so any information would be appreciated. When asked what his form was Mr. Potter got a sheepish grin and said his form was a rabbit.
Shiny Bottom put down the paper after he finished reading. He stared at the floor for a moment feeling sorry for his former owner he knew how hard it was to be a rat out in the world alone. He looked up to see his master looking angry which usually meant that Shiny bottom was in for some pain, luckily for him one of the other death eaters spoke up in a rather ,in his opinion, annoying whiny voice. "Why does Potter get a harem I'm a Malfoy. Father, I want a harem and I want one now. It's not fair for Potter to have a harem and for me not to have one."
The Elder Malfoy who has more experience in the moods of his master did the smart thing and kept his mouth shut. Unfortunately, his son was an idiot that didn't know when to be quiet and let wormtail receive the punishment he deserved for being foolish enough to read that article out loud in his masters presence. "I mean come on isn't there someway you get me a harem after all we're Malfoys and we bow to no one!"
Lucius Malfoy's eyes widened when his idiot son said that and cast a furtive look to his master see the damage the statement had. His master seemed calm which in his past experience told him it was worst than if he appeared truly angry. Lucius prayed for it to be swift at least, even if he knew it wouldn't be. He could only hope his idiot son shut up soon for he now would share his fate for producing such a weak heir.
Shiny Bottom almost grinned as the Malfoy Heir continued to rant about the injustice of Potter having a harem when he did not, but didn't for fear of moving his master's wrath on to him. As he saw his master appear to calm down he slowly moved away in fear of sharing the Malfoy Heir's punishment. Finally The Dark Lord had enough and silenced the boy with a poke of his wand. The young Malfoy actually had the testicular fortitude to glare at the dark lord until he remembered who he was dealing with then went deathly pale. "So young Malfoy you wish for a harem of your own." As he said this he smiled at the Malfoy heir like he was actually considering it.
The Malfoy Heir proving his stupidity once again only nodded quickly and go to his knees and kiss his master's robe. Voldemort smiled before he said, "Why would you want one of those when you will no longer have the equipment to truly enjoy it?"
Needless to say that there was much screaming and no joy as scaly butt decided to add more to the club of no frank and no beans.
A/N:Review or don't. Don't care I'm finshing it regardless, but would like some feed back since this is my first fic and I have no beta.
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