Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Goodbye
Dear fellow Ficwadians,
Wow. It's been...what, six weeks? Six weeks since Vanessa died? Yeah, that sounds right.
I just...I just don't know how I've been able to live without her. I wake up and run downstairs, expecting her to be there to say some witty-ass comment about my tardiness, normally going along the lines of "Geez Cel, is the reason you slept in because you got some and that made you tired?" (I seriously don't know how she got away with saying it like that.) Then I go to school, expecting her to jump me at recess and lunch to scare the shit out of me, ("Oh my gosh, Cel," she'd say, "you're such a wimp, scared of lil' ol' me!") then I get in the car and expect her to yell out "SHOTGUN! CALLED IT!" and then get into an argument with me over "she's oldest, therefore, she rides shotgun", and then get home and expect her to jump on the kitchen table, screaming out "I AM THE CHAMPION!", and then, just before I go to bed, I expect her to jump out from behind my mirror pretending to be Bloody Mary just to scare the shit out of me.
Instead, I wake up, run downstairs to be greeted with my sisters, my brother, and parents, just eating breakfast in silence. At school, recess and lunchtime consists of me and my friends quietly discussing random shit none of us care about. Hopping in the car is deadly silent, no arguments about who sits where. I get home, and no-one talks unless absolutely important. Bedtime rolls around, I fall asleep, greeted with nightmares of Van's dead body.
Life...it just isn't right without her.
Before I get to the point, I wanna clear something up: My name. Celeste is actually my middle name, my real first name is Phoebe. I just prefer Celeste because I've always wanted to be different, and where I go to school, there are quite a few Phoebe's, but no Celeste's.
Now, in a couple of hours, after everyone has gone to sleep, I am going to attempt to join Vanessa in the holy place that is heaven. And by that, I do mean suicide. I have it all planned out, there's a very deep river behind my house, and since I can't swim if my life depended on it (oh, bittersweet irony, oh how I love thee), it should be easy.
Goodbye.
Phoebe Celeste Lane.
16/4/1998-8/3/2012
Wow. It's been...what, six weeks? Six weeks since Vanessa died? Yeah, that sounds right.
I just...I just don't know how I've been able to live without her. I wake up and run downstairs, expecting her to be there to say some witty-ass comment about my tardiness, normally going along the lines of "Geez Cel, is the reason you slept in because you got some and that made you tired?" (I seriously don't know how she got away with saying it like that.) Then I go to school, expecting her to jump me at recess and lunch to scare the shit out of me, ("Oh my gosh, Cel," she'd say, "you're such a wimp, scared of lil' ol' me!") then I get in the car and expect her to yell out "SHOTGUN! CALLED IT!" and then get into an argument with me over "she's oldest, therefore, she rides shotgun", and then get home and expect her to jump on the kitchen table, screaming out "I AM THE CHAMPION!", and then, just before I go to bed, I expect her to jump out from behind my mirror pretending to be Bloody Mary just to scare the shit out of me.
Instead, I wake up, run downstairs to be greeted with my sisters, my brother, and parents, just eating breakfast in silence. At school, recess and lunchtime consists of me and my friends quietly discussing random shit none of us care about. Hopping in the car is deadly silent, no arguments about who sits where. I get home, and no-one talks unless absolutely important. Bedtime rolls around, I fall asleep, greeted with nightmares of Van's dead body.
Life...it just isn't right without her.
Before I get to the point, I wanna clear something up: My name. Celeste is actually my middle name, my real first name is Phoebe. I just prefer Celeste because I've always wanted to be different, and where I go to school, there are quite a few Phoebe's, but no Celeste's.
Now, in a couple of hours, after everyone has gone to sleep, I am going to attempt to join Vanessa in the holy place that is heaven. And by that, I do mean suicide. I have it all planned out, there's a very deep river behind my house, and since I can't swim if my life depended on it (oh, bittersweet irony, oh how I love thee), it should be easy.
Goodbye.
Phoebe Celeste Lane.
16/4/1998-8/3/2012
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