Categories > TV > Doctor Who
Return of Caan
0 reviewsAshley, a Dalek eater, is Earth's only chance when the Daleks rebuild their new leader that Ashley killed years ago. But an alien living on Earth grows soft and she develops a fear of Daleks. Inclu...
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Jack Harkness arrived at Torchwood one morning. Maybe he was a little late, he knew Tosh, Gwen and Owen were already there, but damnit, it wasn’t fair. Ianto didn’t have to come in until later in the day. He got to stay in his warm bed next to a warm body. “That’s not true, Jack,” said Tosh who seemed to appear in front of him. She was wearing that damned pendant again. The one where she could hear people’s thoughts. “He’s the new father of twin newborns.”
He sighed, he knew that. Ianto had married the alien female that was dumped out of the TARDIS by Rose Tyler. She wasn’t the normal bad guy alien. She was 100% human looking and her race killed and ate Daleks. Very useful. But Ianto left Jack after knocking her up. Jack giggled on the inside. Ianto knocked her up right where Owen was sitting. He didn’t let the giggle through his white teeth. Hopefully, one of them, left a sex stain for Owen to sit in.
“Jack!” cried Tosh, she ran to Owen. “Owen! Get off of that chair!”
Tosh ruins all the fun. Jack rolled his eyes. He walked to his office and smacked right into the TARDIS. “Oh, I forgot to tell ya, the Docta is here to see ya,” said Owen. “Like ya forgot to tell me about Ianto and Ashley and this sofa...”
Okay, he deserved that much. Jack walked around the TARDIS and saw the Doctor sitting in his chair behind his desk. “Hello, Doctor,” said Jack. “What can Torchwood do for you today?”
The Doctor spun around in the chair and smiled a goofy smile. “‘ello Jack!” he said, overly happy. “I need to speak Ashley Durstin.”
“Oh, I’m afraid there’s no longer an Ashley Durstin with Torchwood,” said Jack. He watched as the Doctor’s face went from happy to completely distraught. This made Jack smile. “She is now Ashley Jones.”
The Doctor glared at Jack as Jack laughed. “She decided to go with a more human last name, huh?” asked the Doctor as he began to play with the stuff on Jack’s desk. Jack shook his head. “Then where did Jones come from?”
“She got married,” said Jack, he looked away from the Doctor. “To one of my love interests.”
“I got married too!” smiled the Doctor. “And I guess Rose must feel the same way you’re feeling. But seriously, Jack, I need to talk to her. The fate of the world depends on me talking to her.” Jack gave him a worried look. “Daleks are attacking the Earth in a few days time.”
“And we have prepare Ashley for that? She’ll see it as ‘Ooh hoo! A buffet’!” said Jack.
“The Daleks have gotten smarter, they rebuilt their newest leader, Caan, the one Ashley loved and killed,” said the Doctor. “Caan might very well be pissed off! I need Ashley to get die Jäger together!”
“Listen, Doctor,” said Jack leaning on his desk. “I don’t think Ashley wants to deal with Caan right now. Ianto doesn’t need to deal with the fact that his wife’s ex prince of a boyfriend is attacking again.”
“Who would?” asked a woman with curly hair as she emerged from the TARDIS, her arms crossed across her chest. “But they should still know. Now, Jack sweetie, tell me why my dearest husband shouldn’t call the Dalek killer?”
Jack sighed. “Fine, I’ll take you to their house,” said Jack. He tried to protect Ianto. Keep him bubbled in happiness for a little while longer. Jack walked out of his office, pulling his coat on as the Doctor and his wife followed him. “Come on, we’re going on a field trip.”
Tosh looked at Gwen, Gwen looked at Owen. They were confused but followed Jack and the Doctor out of Torchwood.
“Honey, don’t you think it’s a little strange that my wrench keeps picking up weird signals?” asked Ashley. She stood in the corner of the living room playing with a giant, rust colored wrench. It was her weapon when it came to crack up a Dalek to get to the gooey center. It was usually a normal sized wrench, but one pound on the floor, it was half as big as her!
“Darling, I don’t understand that weapon to begin with, how would I know what is weird,” said Ianto as he sat on the couch, a little girl sleeping on his chest.
A knock came at the door. The husband and wife locked eyes with each other. Ashley got up, after all Waywffon was sleeping and Ianto moving would disrupt her sleep. Ashley answered the door to see Torchwood and the Doctor. “Hello, Ashley,” smiled the Doctor kissing her hand. “I’m back!”
“Uh...Ianto still has an hour before work,” said Ashley.
“Who’s Ianto? I’m not here to get mad at an Ianto. I’m just here,” said the Doctor. He leaned in and whispered. “I don’t know why Torchwood is following me.” He leaned back. “This is your flat? I don’t like it.”
“Doctor, why are you here?” asked Ashley.
“Social call. Thought it was about time I tried one out,” said the Doctor. Jack punched him in the shoulder. “Bloody hell Jack!”
“You liar! You said you had to talk to Ashley about the Dal-” began Jack, but a high pitched sonic noise made him and even the Doctor cover their ears.
The noise stopped, leaving Waywffon to cry. Ashley leaned into the flat. “Is that weird enough for you to understand, Ianto?”
“Ashley!” said the Doctor grabbing her shoulders. “That noise was a signal from the Daleks. They rebuilt Caan. They’re coming to attack Earth, again, and Caan is looking for you.”
“Caan could either be really pissed and just wants to see you again,” said the Doctor’s wife. “If you excuse me for being so bold, but is that a baby cry I hear?”
Ashley looked at the woman. “Yes it is,” sad Ashley, wondering why Waywffon’s sister didn’t cry as well. “Waywffon.”
“May I see the baby? I love babies but the Doctor won’t give me any,” she sneered. Without a word from Ashley, the Doctor’s wife pushed her way into the flat.
“Who is she?” asked Ashley to the Doctor. “If she’s Rose, I want her nowhere near my children.”
“She’s my wife and her name is River,” said the Doctor. Ashley threw her arms around him and she nuzzled him as she listened to his two heart beats. “Um...Ashley?”
Ianto walked into the foyer and looked puzzled at Ashley and the Doctor. “Oh Doctor, you made me so happy by dumping that bitch of companion!”
Suddenly, they all heard a sonic type noise in the nursery. “Olwyn!” cried Ianto and they all raced upstairs. River stayed downstairs to keep Waywffon out of trouble. They neared the nursery. Olwyn still didn’t fuss at the noise.
The Doctor jumped into the nursery, sonic screwdriver at the ready. “Prepare to be a meal for Ashley!” he yelled. He saw nothing but a crib and baby furniture.
That. The Doctor’s battle cry made Olwyn cry. Ianto hurried over to the crib and picked her up. “You’ve woken her!” sneered Ashley. What they all didn’t know was that a Dalek hid in the closet.
He sighed, he knew that. Ianto had married the alien female that was dumped out of the TARDIS by Rose Tyler. She wasn’t the normal bad guy alien. She was 100% human looking and her race killed and ate Daleks. Very useful. But Ianto left Jack after knocking her up. Jack giggled on the inside. Ianto knocked her up right where Owen was sitting. He didn’t let the giggle through his white teeth. Hopefully, one of them, left a sex stain for Owen to sit in.
“Jack!” cried Tosh, she ran to Owen. “Owen! Get off of that chair!”
Tosh ruins all the fun. Jack rolled his eyes. He walked to his office and smacked right into the TARDIS. “Oh, I forgot to tell ya, the Docta is here to see ya,” said Owen. “Like ya forgot to tell me about Ianto and Ashley and this sofa...”
Okay, he deserved that much. Jack walked around the TARDIS and saw the Doctor sitting in his chair behind his desk. “Hello, Doctor,” said Jack. “What can Torchwood do for you today?”
The Doctor spun around in the chair and smiled a goofy smile. “‘ello Jack!” he said, overly happy. “I need to speak Ashley Durstin.”
“Oh, I’m afraid there’s no longer an Ashley Durstin with Torchwood,” said Jack. He watched as the Doctor’s face went from happy to completely distraught. This made Jack smile. “She is now Ashley Jones.”
The Doctor glared at Jack as Jack laughed. “She decided to go with a more human last name, huh?” asked the Doctor as he began to play with the stuff on Jack’s desk. Jack shook his head. “Then where did Jones come from?”
“She got married,” said Jack, he looked away from the Doctor. “To one of my love interests.”
“I got married too!” smiled the Doctor. “And I guess Rose must feel the same way you’re feeling. But seriously, Jack, I need to talk to her. The fate of the world depends on me talking to her.” Jack gave him a worried look. “Daleks are attacking the Earth in a few days time.”
“And we have prepare Ashley for that? She’ll see it as ‘Ooh hoo! A buffet’!” said Jack.
“The Daleks have gotten smarter, they rebuilt their newest leader, Caan, the one Ashley loved and killed,” said the Doctor. “Caan might very well be pissed off! I need Ashley to get die Jäger together!”
“Listen, Doctor,” said Jack leaning on his desk. “I don’t think Ashley wants to deal with Caan right now. Ianto doesn’t need to deal with the fact that his wife’s ex prince of a boyfriend is attacking again.”
“Who would?” asked a woman with curly hair as she emerged from the TARDIS, her arms crossed across her chest. “But they should still know. Now, Jack sweetie, tell me why my dearest husband shouldn’t call the Dalek killer?”
Jack sighed. “Fine, I’ll take you to their house,” said Jack. He tried to protect Ianto. Keep him bubbled in happiness for a little while longer. Jack walked out of his office, pulling his coat on as the Doctor and his wife followed him. “Come on, we’re going on a field trip.”
Tosh looked at Gwen, Gwen looked at Owen. They were confused but followed Jack and the Doctor out of Torchwood.
“Honey, don’t you think it’s a little strange that my wrench keeps picking up weird signals?” asked Ashley. She stood in the corner of the living room playing with a giant, rust colored wrench. It was her weapon when it came to crack up a Dalek to get to the gooey center. It was usually a normal sized wrench, but one pound on the floor, it was half as big as her!
“Darling, I don’t understand that weapon to begin with, how would I know what is weird,” said Ianto as he sat on the couch, a little girl sleeping on his chest.
A knock came at the door. The husband and wife locked eyes with each other. Ashley got up, after all Waywffon was sleeping and Ianto moving would disrupt her sleep. Ashley answered the door to see Torchwood and the Doctor. “Hello, Ashley,” smiled the Doctor kissing her hand. “I’m back!”
“Uh...Ianto still has an hour before work,” said Ashley.
“Who’s Ianto? I’m not here to get mad at an Ianto. I’m just here,” said the Doctor. He leaned in and whispered. “I don’t know why Torchwood is following me.” He leaned back. “This is your flat? I don’t like it.”
“Doctor, why are you here?” asked Ashley.
“Social call. Thought it was about time I tried one out,” said the Doctor. Jack punched him in the shoulder. “Bloody hell Jack!”
“You liar! You said you had to talk to Ashley about the Dal-” began Jack, but a high pitched sonic noise made him and even the Doctor cover their ears.
The noise stopped, leaving Waywffon to cry. Ashley leaned into the flat. “Is that weird enough for you to understand, Ianto?”
“Ashley!” said the Doctor grabbing her shoulders. “That noise was a signal from the Daleks. They rebuilt Caan. They’re coming to attack Earth, again, and Caan is looking for you.”
“Caan could either be really pissed and just wants to see you again,” said the Doctor’s wife. “If you excuse me for being so bold, but is that a baby cry I hear?”
Ashley looked at the woman. “Yes it is,” sad Ashley, wondering why Waywffon’s sister didn’t cry as well. “Waywffon.”
“May I see the baby? I love babies but the Doctor won’t give me any,” she sneered. Without a word from Ashley, the Doctor’s wife pushed her way into the flat.
“Who is she?” asked Ashley to the Doctor. “If she’s Rose, I want her nowhere near my children.”
“She’s my wife and her name is River,” said the Doctor. Ashley threw her arms around him and she nuzzled him as she listened to his two heart beats. “Um...Ashley?”
Ianto walked into the foyer and looked puzzled at Ashley and the Doctor. “Oh Doctor, you made me so happy by dumping that bitch of companion!”
Suddenly, they all heard a sonic type noise in the nursery. “Olwyn!” cried Ianto and they all raced upstairs. River stayed downstairs to keep Waywffon out of trouble. They neared the nursery. Olwyn still didn’t fuss at the noise.
The Doctor jumped into the nursery, sonic screwdriver at the ready. “Prepare to be a meal for Ashley!” he yelled. He saw nothing but a crib and baby furniture.
That. The Doctor’s battle cry made Olwyn cry. Ianto hurried over to the crib and picked her up. “You’ve woken her!” sneered Ashley. What they all didn’t know was that a Dalek hid in the closet.
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