FicWad

hoping for the best, just hoping nothing happens.
a thousand clever lines, unread on clever napkins.
I will never ask, if you don't ever tell me.
I know you well enough to know you never loved me.

Awake in bed at night, your face is in my mind.
The love I have for you, is not easy to find.
The feelings I have are meaningful, like the tears I cry for you.
You don't know I exist, and I know this love can't be true.

It's at times like these, where silence means everything.
When I see your smile, and my soul starts to sing.
You could slit my throat, and treat me like dirt.
And with my one last gasping breath, i'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt.

When I try to speak to you, I'm choking on a noose of barbed wire rope.
I would rather not know forever, Then know that there is no hope.
If I went without telling you, this love would hurt me worse.
As my body is carried away, away from you in a hurse.

Not being able to tell, is just like hell to me.
I'd rather you not know me, then become a dead memory.
I dream if you were to die today, Surrounded by the songs of birds.
I hope you'd give me what I want, just those three little words.

Even if the record, is broke and won't stop skipping.
You won't ever know who I am, but i'll catch you and stop you slipping.
I want to hold your hand, on top of a golden hill.
But we are so far apart, and the pain is making me ill.

You can't blame me for being me, but I can't blame you for hating it.
I'm just off a lost cause, so I know you wouldn't take this bet, you'll lose it.
I cannot change who I am, I can only hope you accept it.
You'll never see it in a thousand years, But I swear on my life i'm worth it.

I want my cold dead fingers, wrapped around your hand.
I want to show you my world, so that you will understand.
Hurt, rejection, pain and anger, There better than misery.
I proud to say I love you, and I wish that you loved me.