FicWad

Being rebellious isn't easy. There were times in my life where I just wanted to settle down and behave, but even that would get me in trouble, what with my reputation. So I just stuck with making the most of it. Of course, it resulted in me getting expelled from every school I attended.

The latest clincher? Smoking in health class. Yeah, ironic Iknow. I just didn't like the way Mr Krupp brainwashed all the other students into thinking that drinking and drugs were bad and you should never do them. I personally believe that everyone should live a little and not care about the consequences until they come.

I was already walking the plank, what with my piercings, coloured hair, excessive makeup and punk rock music. Private schools don't seem to take to any of these things very well. Let's just say I stood out in school photos.

Every time I got expelled from a school, my mother would send me to a counsellor to help me 'right my wrongs'. Everywhere I went, the counsellor decided that my rebellions stemmed from the absence of my father. It didn't bother me; I never met the guy so I didn't know what I was missing out on. He got my mother pregnant when they were both seventeen, before leaving her because he couldn't handle it.

I mainly blamed it on my mother for not letting me do things that I wanted to do. It mainly started over music concerts that she wouldn't let me go to. This one time I left a flyer for a My Chemical Romance concert on the kitchen counter with the dates closest to us circled in red pen. I even washed the dishes and vacuumed the whole house. And what did she do? She tore up the flyer, grounded me for a month and wouldn't let me go.

Most of the time with concerts it was just a simple no, but whenever it involved My Chemical Romance it also involved a lot of screaming matches and fighting.

My mother was now so sick of us having to continually move so I could go to a school where I hadn't been before. I kinda felt sorry for her, I'd now exhausted all the schools in travelling distance of where we were now and she'd just gotten settled into a good job that she loved and payed her well.

So when she got called into the principal's office, I could tell she was defeated. She didn't want to move again and quite frankly, neither did I. I was sick of school altogether and I would much prefer to just find ajob and do that for the rest of my life, not having to worry about homework or'fitting in' or anything like that.

I sat in the principal's office with my mother as we both listened to the principal drone on and on about school conduct and how I wasn't welcome here anymore. I just nodded over and over, bored with this shit already and wanting it to be over so I could leave already.

After I was dismissed and handed in my school forms that were to notify all my classes I had left, I headed out to the car with mom.

We drove off in silence, not even listening to the car radio. She suddenly piped up.

"Cara, I don't know what to do with you," she said simply.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Well, I don't want to move again, this is probably the best job I will ever come across," she said.

"We don't have to move, I can just stop going to school altogether and get a job. It'll be sweet," I said, liking how this conversation was coming across.

"I didn't mean that, there's no way in hell that you're getting a job and leaving school. You're going to go until you're finished your senior year."

I groaned. This was still at least a year away, depending on whether I'd have to repeat my junior year because I failed all my subjects.

"What I meant was that I'm sending you to live with your father until you finish high school. After that you can do as you please, but until then you're living under his rule. Understand?"

I couldn't believe her. She was going to make me live with astrange man that I'd never met before and make me abide by his rules? No fucking way.

"You've got to be joking," I stated.

"Not kidding, now get inside and pack your stuff up," she said as we pulled into the driveway.

It had always been me and my mom against the world, nothing stopping us as we travelled cross country to a new town and school, packing up within the next six months and heading off to a new town.

I stomped upstairs to my room that would soon be empty. Not that there was much inside it anyway. All I had was a wardrobe with my band tees and skinny jeans, a couple pairs of converse, my hoodies and my music. We'd moved so constantly that I never grew attached to anything that couldn't fit inside a suitcase. The only other thing that I lived for were my guitars.

I had an acoustic guitar and an electric guitar, the acoustic named Gertrude and the electric named Delilah. They were the weirdest names ever but they stuck.

I packed my clothes and my music back into my suitcase and strapped my guitars back into their cases. I removed my posters from my wall and carefully rolled them up, putting them on the top of my suitcase as not to get crushed.

When I went downstairs my mother had just gotten off the phone and was writing something down on a piece of paper.

"Okay Cara, here are your flight details. One last thing before you leave, would you like your birthday money?" she asked me.

Every year on my birthday and at Christmas, my father would send me a card with money inside it. I never opened them; I just knew there was money inside them because I could hear it shaking around inside the card. This was the reason why I never opened them, I didn't want his pity money, I didn't want anything to do with him. Some years I could hear more rattling around on the inside, but I still resisted the temptation.

I shrugged my shoulders and my mother went upstairs and returned with a plastic bag full of the white envelopes I'd rejected over the years. I stuffed them into my backpack that was tossed on the couch and returned upstairs for the rest of my belongings.

I strapped my guitar cases together so I'd be charged less for baggage and I picked up my suitcase, closing the door on the empty room behind me.

I loaded my bags into mom's car and we headed off to the airport. I almost gagged when I read where I was going. New Jersey. Ew.

We arrived at the airport and I checked in, receiving my ticket. Mom walked with me to the security checkpoint, where we had to part ways.

She hugged me tight and I returned the hug, feeling tears come to my eyes. This was the first time I'd ever live with anyone apart from my mom. And I'll admit, I'd miss her a lot.

We released each other and said our goodbyes before I turned and walked towards the security gate, where they scanned my backpack and let me roam off into the land of duty free purchases.

I decided I should buy something for my father and his wife, as mom had informed me. I had no idea what they liked so I just bought them both chocolates and hoped to god they weren't weird, strict no-sugar, no-fat, no-fun people. I bought myself a large bag of skittles while I was there, I'd need something other than plane food to tide me over until I landed in New Jersey.

Once my flight number was called, I picked up my bag and headed towards my gate. I boarded the plane and settled myself into my seat with my earphones in, blasting MCR until my ears felt like they were going to bleed.

I ate my skittles within an hour of taking off, so I was on the biggest sugar high for the entire trip, practically bouncing in my seat and going to the bathroom several times just to release some energy.

About an hour before we landed, I went to the bathroom to check my makeup and sneakily turned my phone on in there.

I had a text message from an unknown number, saying that he couldn't be there to pick me up, but his wife would be. It was signed with'dad'. I scoffed at the term and at his slackness, turning my phone back off. Of course he wouldn't be there; he hasn't been for the last seventeen years.

I returned to my seat, beginning to feel my sugar rush wear off and lethargy set in. It still hadn't fully worn off by the time I landed and I still had adrenaline running through my system as I collected my bags and guitars from baggage. Maybe it was the skittles, but maybe it was also the fact that I was finally meeting my dad and living with him for a long time. It made me excited and also nervous.

I walked out to the lounge, where there were many people with signs standing around. I stopped and looked around for one with my name. I had no idea who I was supposed to be looking for.

As I scanned the area, one lady was jumping up and down with a piece of paper in her hand. She was slightly shorter than the others, so she was waving around, trying to catch someone's attention. The people around her were looking at her weirdly. I felt pity for whoever she was meant to be picking up. That was until I looked closely at the sign. /Cara Hanson./Shit. Crazy lady was my step-mom.

I started walking towards her and once I was close enough she dropped the sign and ran to pull me into a hug. I hugged her back awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

"You must be Cara! I'm Lindsey, your dad's wife. But please don't call me your step-mom, just call me Linds," she said with a huge smile on her face. I couldn't help but smile in return, she was contagious.

"Here, I bought you guys a present for taking me in," I said, handing her the two boxes of chocolates I bought from the airport.

"Thank you, sweetie, you didn't have to," she said, accepting the chocolates.

She lead me out to where a black SUV was parked and helped me put my suitcase and guitars in the back seat as I sat in the front seat with my backpack and Lindsey.

We didn't make much conversation as we drove, until Iremembered the envelopes that should have been opened long before now.

I pulled the first one of the bag, dated at my first Christmas.

"Let's see what daddy sent me," I said to myself. I opened it and found a $20 note inside Christmas card. I kept opening cards up and the amount slowly increased until I got to my thirteenth birthday. Inside it was$100 and two tickets to My Chemical Romance.

"Damnit, I wish I'd opened this before," I said, whining at my regret. Lindsey chuckled.

"You a fan?" she asked me.

"Who isn't?" I replied as I opened the next card, finding another $100 in there. When I got to the last card, I could feel there was more than money and concert tickets in there.

I opened it to find $200, two tickets to My Chemical Romance's World Contamination Tour and a plane ticket for New Jersey. I felt the tears start up again in my eyes.

"He really wanted to see you, but his job wouldn't let him take time off to see you, so he hoped that you'd come see him. He showed up at the airport the day that flight was supposed to come in, it broke his heart when your mother told him that you hadn't opened the envelope."

I felt horrible for hurting him like this. It was the first time I'd ever felt feeling towards someone other than my mom or myself. I felt like crying, I felt that bad.

We pulled up at my new home and I could feel the lethargy from my sugar rush starting to set in. I shoved the plastic bag back in my backpack and wearily dragged myself out of the car while Lindsey grabbed my suitcase and my guitars.

She opened the door and I walked in, feeling comfortable in this house. It wasn't all polished floors and marble tables, the floor had asoft, worn carpet and there were large scratches on the wooden benches. It felt... cosy.

"Would you like anything to eat? Something to drink?"Lindsey asked me, smiling at me. I shook my head and smiled back at her.

"No thanks, I'm just really tired right now," I said, a yawn reinstating the truth.

"Of course! The different time zone will throw you around alittle. Your room isn't quite ready yet, so I can set you up on the couch for the time being. Your dad will be home later on to finish it off," she beamed again as I yawned, feeling my eyelids begin to droop.

I lay down on the comfy suede couch, probably the most expensive piece of furniture in the entire house, as Lindsey propped a pillow under my head and covered me with a soft, woollen blanket. It had started raining softly, the quiet pattering on the roof lulling me to sleep.

*

When I woke up I could hear a slight clattering in the kitchen as well as in a room further away. The TV set in front of me had been turned on, a re-run of 'Friends' was showing. I watched it for five minutes until Lindsey came into the room again.

"Oh good, you're awake! Your father came home around an hour after you fell asleep. Your room is almost ready for you to move into," she said, coming to sit at the end of the couch next to my feet. She gently stroked my hair out of my face as I checked the clock above the TV. My plane landed at 2:15 and the time was now 6:30. I'd been asleep for around four hours, a new record for me.

A small figure with black hair bounded into the kitchen from behind me and bounded out as quick as he came. Lindsey rolled her eyes.

"No running inside, Frank," she scolded him.

"Sorry Linds!" he called out.

She chuckled and stood up again.

"Come on, I'm making dinner, you can help me," she said, pulling me to my feet. After I stood up I ran my fingers through my hair, combing the lilac knots out.

When I got into the kitchen there were ingredients for fettuccine Bolognese all over the counter.

"You can start by cutting up the tomatoes into small chunks, then you can start cooking the meat," she said, putting the fettuccine into asaucepan of water and started cutting the onions.

There was an entire bag of tomatoes to cut, so I guessed I'd be here for a while. While we cooked, Lindsey told me more about my dad and Itold her of all the reasons I'd been expelled from schools. I told her more about my mom, the places we lived and the things I did in my spare time.

I was almost finished cutting the bag of tomatoes when Lindsey's smile grew wider and she walked to the door, hugging whoever was standing there which was most likely my father. I looked away, not wanting to intrude on their moment and also because I was nervous about meeting my father finally.

"Cara, there's someone you should meet," Lindsey said, coming over to me excitedly.

"Gerard, I'd like to introduce you to your daughter, Cara,"she said and I turned to face my dad with a smile, the smile dropping clean off my face I saw who was standing in the kitchen.

Gerard Way was my father. The man I thought I'd despise was one of my biggest idols. The lead singer of My Chemical Romance was related to me by blood.

I dropped the knife I was holding in shock, unfortunately right onto my spare hand. I yelped as it made a shallow slice in my hand, the red blood beginning to ooze out of it already. I hissed at the stinging sensation. It wasn't my worst injury, but fuck it hurt.

Lindsey rushed to me and picked up my hand, leading me to the sink and washing it off under cold water.

"MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A BITCH," I screamed as it stung more than before. I could feel my hand throbbing.

Gerard stifled a laugh as Lindsey tutted me humorously.

"You are your father's daughter all over," she said, looking back up at him with a smirk. I looked up at him to see him staring at her with his mouth open.

"Hey, I don't fuckin' swear much," he said as Lindsey and Icracked up laughing at his contradiction.

He came over closer to me and lifted my chin up with his hand. I looked into his hazel eyes that mirrored my own.

"God, you look so much like your mother," he said wistfully.

"But she's got your eyes and cheekbones," Lindsey interrupted. He smiled again then pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back, the hug not being awkward like my first one with Lindsey was.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said, kissing the top of my hair.

I pulled back, looking down at my hand that was bleeding again.

"Ah, shit," I muttered. Gerard took my good hand.

"Come sit down while I get something to patch you up with,"he said.

"You've been a great help, thank you Cara," Lindsey dismissed me.

Gerard led me to the couch I'd been sleeping on, disappearing to find me a bandage.

I had only been sitting there for a minute when the small dark-haired person from before flopped themselves down on the armchair next to me. He turned to face me and smiled a cheeky smile.

"Hey, I'm Frank," he introduced himself. Of course I knew that, Frank Iero from My Chemical Romance.

"Hi, I'm Cara," I said, shaking his outstretched hand with my non-injured one.

Gerard returned with a bottle of antiseptic and some gauze.

"Okay, let's have a look at your hand," he said, sitting down on the couch next to me. He swiped some of the antiseptic onto my hand with a cotton ball, making me curse loudly again, before he placed the gauze over top of my cut.

"There we go," he said as he released my hand.

"Thanks..." I trailed off, unsure whether to call him dad or Gerard.

"I don't mind whether you call me dad or not, it'll take some getting used to," he said.

"Okay, Gerard," I said, still not being able to come to terms with calling him 'dad'. His face fell slightly as I forwent the more affectionate term.

My phone started trilling loudly with the tone of 'Give 'Em Hell Kid' coming loudly from the speakers, signalling my mother was calling me. I always found the tone was appropriate for our relationship.

"Hello, mother," I sighed into the phone, rolling my eyes at her, earning a chuckle from Gerard and Frank.

"Hey darling, how are you going? How was the flight? How is your dad?" she asked all at once.

"Mom, calm down. I'm fine, I ate an entire bag of skittles within the first hour of the flight so I was on a sugar high the entire time, and Gerard and Lindsey are great," I said, fitting as much in with as little info as I could.

"That's good, be safe and please try to keep out of trouble, for your father's sake," she said, exasperated.

I rolled my eyes at her again. "Mom, since when have you known me to misbehave? I'm a perfect little angel high up on a pedestal and all that shit," I said sarcastically, causing Frank and Gerard to snicker at me.

"Don't get smart with me. Alright, I'll leave you to your father now, I'll talk to you later sweetie," she said.

"Alright, bye mom. Love you," I tacked on at the end. We both hung up and I felt a pang of sadness as realisation sunk in that Iwouldn't be seeing her tonight, tomorrow when I woke up or the next day.

"Vivianne was always a worrier when I knew her, I guess that part hasn't changed," Gerard mused. I snorted in laughter.

"Yeah, but I give her a reason to worry. Do you know how many schools I've been expelled from since I was thirteen? I can't count on my fingers and toes how many schools I've been to. Believe me, I know how to make her worry," I argued.

Gerard propped his face up under his fist. "Tell me, Cara, what have you been expelled for?"

I sigh and wrack my brain, trying to remember all my achievements. "My first one was lighting a bin on fire when I was in the eighth grade. Since then I've been drunk at school, vandalised school property, beat kids up, beat teachers up and sworn at teachers. This one time I brought abutter knife to school to cut up an apple, don't know what went on with that one," I said, making Gerard and Frank laugh, "I was once accused of sleeping with a teacher and they expelled me without questioning, which I didn't do because even I have standards, and the latest one was smoking in health class. Kinda ironic, huh?" I said with a chuckle at the end.

Frank laughed and shook his head. "Have fun with that one Gee."

"Now tell me, Cara, why did you do those things? That's some pretty drastic stuff there," Gerard said, actually interested in what I was saying.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I dunno. I didn't like my schools. I never fit in."

"Why didn't you fit in? Surely there's a group for everyone at every school," he said, shocked.

"I went to private schools and a couple of boarding schools, they kinda stick to the one group of pretentious assholes," I said. Gerard looking understanding.

"I think we just found your problem. I'm sending you to apublic school. They're full of swearing, smoking, delinquents like you," he said, using delinquents as an endearing term.

"Why papa, that would make me most happy," I said sarcastically in a fake English accent.

Lindsey came out from the kitchen at that moment. "Dinner's ready you guys."

We all headed out to the dining room where Lindsey was setting out the fettuccine Bolognese, or in Frank's case, fettuccine with sauce.

I started twirling the fettuccine around my fork, not feeling overly hungry but also not wanting to offend Lindsey by not eating it. I nibbled at a bit of the meat, it actually tasted pretty good.

We made small talk, Gerard and Frank discussing their day while Lindsey interjected with questions.

Before I knew it, I had eaten the entire plate of fettuccine. Lindsey smiled at me, obviously pleased that I liked her cooking.

We put our plates in the dishwasher and went to the living room.

"I think I'm gonna go take a shower, if that's okay," I said, picking up my bags that were still sitting near the couch.

Gerard jumped up. "Here, I'll show you your room so you can settle in."

I grabbed my backpack while he took my suitcase and guitars, leading me down the hallway to a room with a black door.

He opened the door and I walked in to find the most perfect room ever. The walls were blood red with a black ceiling and black carpet, ablack metal bedframe with a deep red cover on top, a black desk with a Macbook Pro sitting on it and a shiny black dresser.

He put my suitcase next to my bed and my guitars on top, leaving me to stare in awe at my bedroom.

I dumped my backpack on my bed and ran my fingers over the smooth desktop and opened up the shiny black cupboard, several black coat hangers already sitting inside.

I opened up my suitcase and located my pyjamas and my toiletries, heading down the hallway to the bathroom.

I showered and washed my hair, leaving it to drip dry when Igot out of the shower. Once I was satisfied with the placing of my toiletries, between Lindsey's weird pills and Gerard's hair dye, I headed back out to the living room.

I had almost reached the room when I heard hushed voices. Ifell behind so I could listen in without being caught.

"- she's never had a father figure in her life before, the closest she's come to is money in a card on special occasions. She'll warm up to you, it'll just take a little time," Lindsey consoled Gerard.

"I just feel like I've failed as a father. She can't even call me dad, I feel like I've missed out on so many things in her life," he said, sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

"That's why she's here, so you can make up on those lost years and get to know her before she ventures out on her own. You need to make the most of your time with her," Lindsey said soothingly.

"Yeah, and besides, all those things you missed out on with Cara? You'll be experiencing them all again next year and for the next sixteen years after that," Frank interjected brightly.

"Yeah, I guess, it'll still feel different because I'll have a grown up child and a baby, and still not know what I'm supposed to do with the baby," Gerard said doubtfully.

Wait, what? Who was having a baby? Surely...

I decided that was the moment I would interrupt their conversation and brighten up their world.

I walked in and sat down on the couch next to Gerard, trying my hardest to treat him as if he were my father and not just the singer of my favourite band.

"Hey, what's up?" Gerard smiled at me, draping his arm over my shoulders. I moved in closer to his side, tucking my feet up underneath my body.

"Nothing much, just thought I'd come spend some time with you guys," I smiled back.

"Well that's good, because we're gonna be spending the whole day together tomorrow. I'm going to show you around town and then take you into rehearsal tomorrow, how does that sound?" Gerard said, still beaming at my affection.

"Yeah, that sounds great," I said, finally feeling happy.

Gerard pulled me in closer to him and we sat in that position, all four of us talking happily, for a long time.