FicWad

Salut mes amies.

I wrote this entire thing in Frankie's view because I thought it would be easier. It's not his POV but Gerard doesn't say anything here, put it that way. Implication of his conversation is up to you guys. That's why this chapter is shorter than most. I hope you're liking the story so far and muffins to those lovely readers of mine!

Bear in mind I am having a Placebo marathon atm (am I like THE ONLY PERSON who likes Battle for the Sun? I absolutely love it and Ashtray Heart) so this chapter will most likely be strange.

Also, I have nothing against people with dyslexia. I have a form of it (dyscalculia) and I mean no harm, just rounding Frank's character. The boy I mention as his boyfriend has no relation to the guy from Panic! At The Disco. I just came up with the name; I don't even know anything about that band, my friend asked me about it.

If you have issues with Frank being abstinent in my stories, go have an argument with yourself about it. I just do it, okay? Some of my fics are set way back in the 30's/50's/60's so yeah. I love making Frank all Catholicy and stuff. God I am so typically Irish *sips Guiness and strokes ginger goatee*

Topa the mornin t'ye, lassie,

xo lorna



Candy Cane





"You'll have to forgive me. I don't remember exactly how it happened. I suppose it happened so quickly and it was just like a blur-"

"Actually, no, excuse me, that's completely wrong. It wasn't like a blur at all. It was as slow as possible; like someone had deliberately developed my life onto a DVD player of some sort and put it on slow motion, like stopping in time. The whole day went so normally, so average that I couldn't help but assume it would end that way, it would end with myself going home, laden with school work, as per usual, and every day would follow it's progression. There was never a doubt in my mind that day about what was to come. I was carefree; almost blissfully ignorant concerning life. I wasn't experienced when it came to the trials and trivialities of life...and love, I suppose."

"I was born in Newark in nineteen forty eight to Linda and Frank Iero; my parents had me when they were quite young, and I lived with them and my older brother, Anthony. Anthony was three years older than me and so very smart...he was on the Honour Roll in both elementary and high school and so popular. My parents were so proud of him...he won math competitions, chess tournaments, science projects. He was their favourite. I know parents aren't meant to have favourites...but I always knew it, even from when I was a little kid. I think they resented me a little. Perhaps resent is the wrong word...disappointment is more accurate."

"Beg pardon? Oh, well...I have a learning disabality. I'm dyslexic and I can't make out words properly and they go all fuzzy on the page."

"Learning disabilites were treated so differently back then, Gerard....so very different. Now there are schools catering for people with them, there are support groups that assist you and other such wonderful facilities. But when I was a teenager - a living teenager, that is - I was just called retarded, dumb. I was bullied relentlessly by other children in the school I was delegated to. The fact that I was shorter than the second graders did not really help the situation."

"So...I was second to my brother in both home and school amenities. But I was saintly. I never wished harm or amorosity towards either of my parents or Anthony. I loved them so dearly. But anyone will tell you, especially in your adolescence that the love between family cannot be compared with the commitment of a...lover. I met my boyfriend when I was fourteen and he lived down the street from me. He had just moved from New York City and he was so lovely. He was beautiful...he had looks like an angel. Beautiful black hair and brown eyes...his name was Ryan and I thought him so utterly angelic. He was a year older than me. I fell bessotted with him even though I knew my parents would disapprove. Homosexuality nowadays is treated like a novelty. When I was young it was treated like a disease, something to be cured of."

"But my parents had a sense of apathy towards me as I grew older. I was ignored, was evaded- they had their perfect son and then I was something that has just happened a little after Anthony. My father used to joke he named me after him because they were too lazy to come up with another name. I believe him."

"So we began dating one another in the spring of nineteen sixty three...when I was fifteen. It was heavenly, really; I was ignored at home and my father had given up on home schooling me because he thought I was dumb. Useless, I guess. I...I...I d-did l-love Ryan - so, so much - but I always w-wished my d-daddy and my m-mommy loved me like my br-brother. I was n-nothing to h-him, just something w-worthless! He always resented me and I...I..."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I'm sure you don't appreciate me being so melodramatic about it. Perhaps I should just carry on..."

"Thank you for the tissue. I had found my solace with Ryan and all was good in life now. He treated me like no one else had...I could laugh with him and chat to him, be with him. I thought he was so perfect, he was the brightest light in my life. I adored him like you don't even know, Gerard. I worshipped the ground he walked on, I called him at night time and we'd chat for hours about trivial things even though we saw each other every day. My father scolded me but sometimes we wouldn't hang up because it would be like the closest thing we'd ever have to sleeping with each other."

"You see...at the time...it was....frowned upon, I suppose is the phrase...to consumate your relationship before you married."

"Had....sex, Gerard. I mean I was abstinent. Consumate means have sex."

"Anyway...he always tried to push it beyond kissing, but I was thoroughly against it. We were in high school and...you know how it is, everyone constantly boasts about how many people they're slept with. He'd put his hand up my shirt or drag my hand down to his belt. But I never saw the beauty in promoscuity, Gerard, I could never live the life you do. No offence, I just find it slightly immoral. Sharing your body with so many people, being intimate with....sorry, I've started to ramble again. I have an unfortunate habit of it."

"He was fine with it at the start. He said we'd never have to do it if I didn't want to. But then...he fought with me. Not physically, please don't worry, don't do that angry thing where you clench your fists....just verbally. If I really loved him I'd give myself to him and everything. I said no and that we could married, we could marry young and I'd have no problem with it, sixteen is legal. But he was so angry, so frustrated."

"It felt aw-awful, you know. The only person who had cared for me in a loving way thought of me as useless. Like everyone else. I thought I was useless. I couldn't do anything right."

"Not giving myself to him was simultanously the biggest mistake and the best thing I ever did in my life. It led to my death...but also to my confirmation as a karma police officer."

"After school one day, about a week after our fight, I was walking to his house. At that time, you see, the civil rights movement had started to flourish right across the globe. It stretched from women to African-Americans to homosexuals. Protests and demonstrations and speeches started happening all over the country. It was so beautiful and liberating in a way. I actually listened to the radio for 'I Have A Dream' when King made it. He was wonderful. The words he used, not just for racial discrimination was amazing and had such a fiery passion behind it."

"I made my way to Ryan's house and we made up, promising that we wouldn't do it until we were married. We were embracing quickly on his doorstep and a man stepped out and shot me in my head. Eight times, silver bullets, all lodged in my brain. I was dead before I fell."

"Pardon me, what was that? Oh. What does it feel like? Well. There are no bright lights and endless tunnels or flashes of life, I assure you. Culture has managed to paint a smiley face over death, making it seem painless. Sentimental, even."

"I remember this blinding pain in my head. Black started to cloud my vision and I felt so faint, so out of touch. I melting from life. Blood gushed from my temples and streamed to the ground, so much that a pool was growing around my feet. I knocked my skull against the pavement and I was gone. Like pulling out a plug."

"People reveal their true selves in dying moments, Gerard. Ryan didn't hold me, he didn't even look remotely shocked. He let me drop to the ground, he let me go. He didn't give a shi-oh, excuse me! Oh no, that was so terrible! Please don't judge me on that, I really didn't mean it, I just got a little too emotional. No case has ever asked me about my past before...."

"Then my memory just fasts forwards to when I became a KPO. I could suddenly read minds and my memory of events is exeptional...I can remember what I had for breakfast on July fourth nineteen seventy nine. And of course, I look aesthetically pleasing. It's a common thing really; everyone I know in the Constabulary is beautiful. Captivating."

"I can't tell you what it looks like, Gerard, because I don't really look around when I'm there. It's like...you don't live, you just exist. I'm sorry if I'm not making a huge lot of sense here, it's one of those things that's rather difficult to explain. I can see everyone...and yet I can't move freely."

"A state of mind? Yes, I suppose that could suffice as an answer. You're smart, Gerard. You're very clever."

"Anyway...I have been in the KPC for forty seven years and I've been involved in cases, as a support, a back up if you will, but I've never had one on my own. I saw your case and fell in love with you....YOUR CASE. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR CASE. My sergeant was unsure as to whether I was really ready but I proved I was, he asked me and I...I proved I was ready. So that's when I came down to you, Gerard, I just appeared to you in your room a few days ago."

"I know this sounds atypical but you're doing so well already, Gerard. I'm actually so proud of you."

"Erm, anyway...my eyes, yes. That's something I only possess-one of my super powers, if you will. Jonathan calls my eyes empathetic...the thing is that I feel your moods and my eyes translate the colours for them. For example, if you're angry, my eyes go crimson. If you're sad, they're bright blue. When you're happy, they're gold, glittering gold."

"No, Gerard. It's not like Edward Cullen."

"What? Oh yes, I am engaged...I've been engaged since nineteen eighty four. My fiance is a major in the Constabulary and he doesn't have a lot of time...he's not mean, Gerard, he can be very kind....he's just a little strict. He doesn't like me screwing up in my duties and he tells me what I do wrong and helps me be a better officer."

"Of....of course I love him. We're...we're engaged."

"The Colonel is what I was told is our Higher Being....basically what you are told is God. The Colonel is someone I have never met, but he's the boss of the KPC. He's so famous and renowned, he's the absolute powerful being in the demsnion I hail from. He's our leader. He's dealt with over a thousand cases and succeeded in every one of them. He runs the world."

"Oh, the song? Well, I guess someone up there just likes Radiohead, Gerard."




Well that was utter crap, but I was at my boyfriend's house today and we were playing GTA and I was going apeshit on some hooker's ass and well, yeah, basically I was like 'DAMMIT I HAVE TO WRITE MY MCR FAN FICTION OR I AM A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING.' The next chapter will be as the normal ones, with dialogue and shit, I just wanted to switch this one up a little. Was it shit? Was it good? Gimme some feedback, folks, I'd appreciate it. We were eating candy canes (AFTER-CHRISTMAS BINGING, FTWWW!!!!) and that's where the chapter title comes from.

Btw, I just destroyed her skanky ass. PWNED.

xo lorna the slut hunter and gearoid says sup peeps and aww fuck where the fuck is my machine gun