FicWad

Love sucks. Love can turn a normal person in a madman. Love is a sick feeling. Love can make you loss all your friends. Love is the most painfull feeling. Love can make you the loneliest person. Love can break you. Love can take you. Love can kill you.
But, sadly, at the same time, Love is the most happiest feeling, the most important, the most glorious, the most peacefull, the most adventurer, the most wanted because, all say you can't live without love.
That is the most painfull part, you CAN'T live without it.
It's the truth.
You got it everyday. With your family, friends... But, I'm not describing that kind of love.
The kind of love I'm talking about is when you have a person who want to share the life with you, that never go away without you, that loves you more that his/her own life, that will protect you, that will hold you, support you, loves you.
And I know it, 'cause, in the past, I felt it. It felt amazing, I just can't describe it, butterflies in your stomach, joy in your beating heart, happiness in your blushed face...
You feel your world in the skies.
But, someday, I lost it. I fucking lost it just for not know how to care for a person, how to show him my love, how to share my life...
I just didn't know.
I just don't know.
He. He gave me everything I needed, not talking by material stuff.
He loved me in all the aspects. He loved me for my imperfections, my weird personality, my strange way to behave and dress, my rare form to do the things and make laugh...
He loved me just for being who I truly am.
Although, I never was the dreamed boyfriend, I was happy with him, finally happy.
But, he, he was the dreamed boyfriend.
A funny gentleman, the perfect mate, affective and romantic, at the same time, responsible, good looking, little naughty, loyal, heartwarming and tender.
I remember that I loved the way when he said me "Honey" or just "Frankie". He always did it radiating love and tenderness.
But, l ruined this.
For past experiences, I became in a cold person, with not feelings, almost with a stoned heart.
I never be like him. I was always cold, just giving hugs that for me were full of kind love, but I never call him like "honey" or "Sweetie", never told him I love him, never radiating some positive feeling, never take his hand and looked him at the eyes saying that he is the most important person in my life.
I just couldn't.
Why? Because, Frank Iero that loved really much a person , and I still love him so much, with all my stoned and cold heart, the men called Gerard Way, was really tired of the rejection, contempt, all the times his heart was broken before. And I was afraid of live again this.
So I was carefull. Extremely.
So much that I never showed any feeling.
Now, he is with other person, and I'm alone, just thinking about things that never happened.
We could be happy, we could make our lives together, we could love each other.
But, I make the biggest mistake.
I never showed him I love him.
I know that I don't deserve something too good, he deserve something glorious, someone that he can be happy with.
Someone not like me.
I always try to fix myself, but I can't destroy who I am.
Sadly, I'm just a broken soul waiting for a 2° change, when my soulmate is happy without me. I'm just another blocked mind seeing the mistakes in myself, but never trying to fix them. And, I don't even deserve he forgets me, because, I know I hurt him, really much. I tried, but I fail in the most fatal way.
Trough this, I'm happy, because he's happy.
He already found the person who he really deserves. Not me.
I was finally happy, but, I didn't know how to handle it.
So, If you love something, just let it go. If it comes back, is yours. But if it doesn't return, NEVER was yours.
If you want to be loved, never, NEVER do the things I did.
That's my story about how I was almost loved.

-Hello again! If there is any grammar mistake or something, sorry, but I usually use the spanish :) I just want to share you this Uhhhh, "experience". I wanted to take off all this things 'cuz I got this for a long, loooooooooooooong time. I don't mean the Oneshot, this is another part of my life (Almost all my stories are about my life, just one not). Sometimes I think I should write a kind of book...
Well, In this, Frank is representing me, and Gerard... y'know what I mean...
So, Gezzy, If you read this, I'm so sorry, I don't deserve you. Go and be happy, please. No stop for me. I will always love you, I promise.
Please R&R
xoxoFrankie,Midnight's Noise or Shary... what you preffer.



Never want to be like the others, 'cause you can be better.