FicWad

“W-what?” he asked dumbly, his brain having apparently frozen.

The boy tilted his white and silver mask up and looked at him with narrowed eyes. His face also had make-up on, as all Performers’ did.

Along with a mask, their faces had some kind of make-up. It was part of what made them so intriguing. No one saw what their faces really looked like besides other Performers. It was said to be bad luck for someone who wasn’t one to see a Performer’s face, but it was also said that you were witnessing something secret and powerful. Performers were the most mysterious and mystical beings in their small world, it was said that they had magical abilities that set them apart from everybody else and that seeing one with a blank face meant that you were being let in on a whole new world of power and mystery and magic.

That’s what was said anyway. Ryan wasn’t quite sure that he believed it. The stories that they acted out made him think it for a while until it was over and he was underneath yet another man older than him.

“You heard me, I asked who you were. I’ve never seen you before.” The boy looked suspicious but it could just be his anger at the other person, Jeffry, showing through right now.

Ryan wondered if he should lie. Eventually he decided that that wasn’t a good idea, remembering to respond to a name that wasn’t your own wasn’t always easy. “Ryan,” he said shortly.

Brendon frowned. “I know all of the other Performers, and I’ve never heard of you.”

“Maybe you never noticed me, or thought I was someone else.” This wasn’t going the way he’d hoped but he was happy that his improvisation skills were kicking in.

The boy looked at him with narrowed eyes and seemed to be studying him. It was silent for a few seconds and Ryan looked back as Brendon stared at him. Then the other boy nodded. “If you’re one of us, follow me, you should be down with all of the others,” he said, then he started walking down the hall to the stairs.

Ryan watched, stunned. Had Brendon really bought his story? But he followed nonetheless, telling himself that he really just needed to play along if he wanted to keep from getting caught. Everything would be fine if he just kept his head about him.

They went down the stairs and Ryan tried to stay close to Brendon. Even though he hadn’t had the warmest welcome, he did know Brendon better than anyone else here and it seemed like it would be smart to stick close to him. He found that it was hard to get through the dancing bodies by walking in a semi-straight line because there were more than before and they weren’t as fast to part in front of him. So he looked at Brendon to see how he was managing.

Brendon was twisting and moving his upper body to move between all of the people, making it look like an intricate dance. Ryan watched and tried to copy the technique. He found that it was incredibly easy and that he could do it with no problem. He followed the white and silver clad boy with black hair into another room where other Performers were.

When Brendon came in, everyone else silenced and he looked a little disappointed. “Good morning everyone,” he said quietly, sounding a little embarrassed. A few people returned his greeting, but most stayed silent because into the room behind them came another figure.

He was tall and he had sandy brown hair and sharp dark brown eyes that looked like hardened pieces of wood. He was decorated in silver and white. The designs on the pants and shirt were not too elaborate but on his back, there was a brilliant cape that was very intricately designed. His mask was the most ostentatious thing though.

It was clear that he was the Head of the Performers because his mask had more than the others. It wasn’t more decorated and it didn’t have any accessories but it had more on the top, something that was only a feature of the Heads’ masks.

Everyone’s eyes were fixed on the leader and his commanding presence, except for Brendon, who looked like he was trying to get away from the man’s gaze that was trained on him. “Brendon, come here,” the man said in a smooth voice that sounded exactly like Jeffry’s. He held up a hand and motioned lazily through the air for the boy to go to him.

Ryan heard the small groan that Brendon made, but he wasn’t sure if he imagined it or not because the black-haired boy grinned and bounced over to the other man’s side. He stood on his toes and kissed the man on the cheek, wrapping his arms around his neck and hanging on when he went flat-footed. Ryan did see the faint look in his eyes, it was similar to a look that he found in his own eyes often enough.

Brendon leaned close and whispered something in the man’s ear, something that made the man laugh. He wasn’t very good at reading lips but he did see the name ‘Jeffry’ come from Brendon’s lips. So this was the Jeffry and now his words upstairs made more sense. If he was the Head Performer he had the right to pick any one of his Performers that he wanted.

There was love and the desire to stay with the same person. There was no legal binding whatsoever though. If you wanted to, you lived with the person and there was a small celebration with friends and family. When it came to Heads of professions, though, if they took their pick of someone, that person was theirs. Jeffry had chosen Brendon and Brendon was required to stay with Jeffry until the Head Performer got tired of him. Heads were—as their names suggested—very high-ranking powers in the society and they were pretty much allowed anything that they wanted.

“Alright everyone, it’s practice time again. You all know what to do, I’ll be along in a while,” Jeffry said, removing Brendon’s hands from his neck. Brendon pouted and Jeffry kissed him deep on the lips. Everyone else moved through a door and into another room.

Ryan walked slowly toward the doorway, urging Brendon to hurry up so that he knew what to do. Jeffry pushed Brendon a little in the direction of the door and Brendon went. Ryan followed thankfully, noticing that Brendon was wiping his lips off with a disgusted look on his face.

When he emerged on the other side of the door he felt his jaw drop a little. The room was big and brilliantly furnished. On one wall there were layers of mauve colored curtains from floor to ceiling, on the opposite wall there were twelve little single seat balcony boxes, and there was thick, rough, boldly patterned carpeting on the floor. The little bit of furniture there was in the room was oversized and upholstered with the same material as the carpet. On the far side of the room was a large stage. The whole room was dark except for the scentless candles burning everywhere. The room just added to the wonder of the Performers, it gave off an atmosphere that made everything seem old and almost secret. It was the most amazing room he’d ever seen, and he’d seen a lot of different rooms in his short life.

There were Performers in a line, picking up little booklets off of a table and scanning them while they continued to walk. Ryan slipped into the line and watched around him while he waited for his turn at the table. Some of the Performers that weren’t in line were at the sides of the room, consulting with each other and one particularly thin one was demonstrating a series of complicated looking dance moves. The others that were on the sides had instruments and were playing music that sounded amazing to Ryan’s ears.

It was his turn at the table and he looked at the choices. There were two or three piles that were all gone but it still left two more booklets. He chose the one on the right, not knowing what it was and not knowing how he was supposed to tell, if he actually cared. As far as he was concerned, he was there to hide and escape daily life, he wasn’t there for the experience of being a Performer.

With the booklet held firmly in his hands, he stepped away from the table and it was almost like walking through another, invisible, doorway because when he stepped past the table everything looked more vibrant, clearer, as if he’d been looking at everything through a thin layer of steam or fog before.

Ryan opened what he assumed was a script and he looked at the first page. It was a short skit that consisted of one long discussion between two characters, and a few scenes with all three characters. The skit was five pages long, only three characters, and very little setting. It was probably a good thing that he’d chosen such a simple thing since he had no experience whatsoever.

He quickly read through it, soaking up every word. It was about love, how fucking ironic. Of course someone who had never felt it would have to temporarily live in a life where it existed for him. He shook his head and almost went to put the booklet back on the table to try and get something else. But when he turned around he saw that the table was empty and that there wasn’t anything else to get.

Ryan sighed and glared at the little paper booklet that he held in his hands. He looked up because of an increase in activity. The other people that had picked up scripts were gathering together to start working. It was a good thing that the things were color coded, his was yellow and he looked around for the two other people who had yellow scripts. When he saw who they were, his stomach got noticeably heavier because it was Brendon and Jeffry. Fuck. He thought about trading with someone before they noticed him but it turned out to be too late, Brendon looked over and motioned to him.

Ryan sighed and went over to the other two, dreading what was going to happen. “Who are you?” Jeffry asked.

“This is Ryan. Ryan, the Head Performer.” Jeffry nodded at him but he was still looking at him through narrowed eyes. “You’ve looked through it right?” Brendon asked, looking at him. Ryan nodded.

“I was thinking that I should be the one stuck in the middle, Jevair. Head Jeffry you would be great as Gonvee, I was thinking. And Ryan you could definitely be Bayeel. How about it?” Brendon said, looking at the two of them in turn.

Ryan found himself nodding even though the thought made him nervous. Jevair and Bayeel were forbidden lovers for many reasons and Gonvee, who had a personal grudge against both, was the one who found out about them and was determined to end it one way or another. The skit did not have a happy ending for his character. It made him nervous to even think about posing as Brendon’s secret love what with the way Jeffry was glaring at him.

Brendon beamed and Ryan couldn’t tell if it was fake or genuine. “Head Jeffry?” he asked.

“I think that’s a fine idea, it’ll be a lesson to everyone,” the Head said wickedly with a scary look in his eyes that made Ryan think he was right to expect turning out to be Bayeel.

“Excellent,” his smile got a little wider, if that was even possible, and Ryan felt something strange in the pit of his stomach. The black-haired Performer jerked his head to the right very suddenly, “Oh, hey, I think that the dancers have something choreographed for the large group,” he said, walking lightly to where the dancers were, with a group of people around them steadily growing.

Ryan followed and was aware of Jeffry’s presence behind him, and was also aware of the wandering eyes. It was said that like the Performers had their magic, Satisfiers had an air about them that made them irresistible, an air that made everyone and anyone want them. He didn’t believe that at all though.

The reason people were so quick to fall in lust for a Satisfier was because of their skins. The skins were tight and obviously colored so that they would stand out. And everyone knew what black and gold meant. So they knew that it was okay to stare and to contemplate because that was what the skin was meant to do. It was a reassurance and an advertisement at the same time and it made people look and think. Sadly for him, most of the “admirers” acted on their thoughts.

He ignored the gaze even though he could feel it piercing him; he had to remember that he was disguised. No one here knew that he was really a Satisfier; the skin that he was wearing did nothing that his real skin did. With that in mind, he directed his attention to the group of dancers and tried to keep himself from tensing up.

“Make way, make way you animals,” one of the tall, thin dancers said, moving over to the stage and climbing onto it. “This dance is the group dance as you all know, as usual there are parts, as usual you’ll be paired up, as usual I’m questioning why I’m up here restating all of this as if you’ve never heard it before. Urie you’re with me. Everyone else, your mentor will go to you.”

Brendon climbed on stage to meet his mentor. The voice projection was turned off and Ryan watched the two talking. Brendon was smiling and nodding, saying something or other, and the dancer nodded back with a small smile on his face.

“I think you’d be perfect for this part,” another tall, thin boy said, looking down a little at him. Ryan was pretty tall but this person probably had four or five inches on him.

“What part?” he asked apprehensively. He had no idea if he could dance or not. If it all had to do with flexibility and moving he figured that he wouldn’t be too bad. He just didn’t know if he had any kind of gracefulness about him at all.

“I’ll teach it to you, then when the whole dance is put together later on you’ll know what part it is. You’ll be asked, just so that we know that you’re putting your all into it. I know we don’t usually care so much but all of us put a lot of work into this dance and we want you all to understand what you’re telling the audience. Just pay attention and hopefully you’ll see what it is.”

Ryan nodded. He didn’t know what else to say. He’d watched the group dances before and he was always amazed at how much character was put into them. Every week he picked up on the story and now he was going to help tell it. He really hoped that he wasn’t bad at dancing.

“Then let’s get started,” the taller boy said, clapping his hands and rubbing them together.

It was definitely hard but he wasn’t terrible at it. That didn’t necessarily mean that he was good though. The boy who was his mentor had to keep recounting and showing him how it was supposed to look or telling him how it was supposed to feel. Ryan managed to remember all the steps; the only trouble was the execution.

Serious points had to be given to his mentor though. He was so patient and he never seemed too frustrated or mad when Ryan failed to do the move right for the third or fourth time. All that he did was look at him while he thought, then he would come up with a new way to show him or explain it to him.

After about two hours of work—and everyone else had been working, too— he had it and had gotten a grin and a happy nod from his mentor. “As I’ve explained you’re a part of the dance and so is everyone else. No one else has the same part for once so if you screw up a little, no one will know except you and me. But keep that in mind for another reason too. Focus on your part, don’t get distracted by the others and don’t feel like you’re wrong or that you’re sticking out. I know that you have this memorized; you’ve had it memorized since the third time I showed it to you. And the execution was rough at the beginning but you have it down now. There’s nothing to be worried about.”

Ryan couldn’t help the tiny smile that planted itself on his face. He was happy with his praise. He wasn’t usually praised for anything so it was a nice change. He wasn’t sure if he necessarily agreed with what the Performer said, but he wasn’t going to deny the fact that it sounded nice.

“In just a little bit, when everyone else is done, everyone will get together and we’ll put it all together on stage to see how it looks and how much polishing we have to do. After that I’ll have you tell me what your character is.”

“Okay,” Ryan answered, looking over at the stage. Some people were already climbing onto it and he remembered that it was also said that Performers couldn’t live without the stage; they needed it in a metaphorical way. But then again it was also said that all Satisfiers liked what they did.

“And remember; just do what you’ve learned. Don’t worry about what the others do. I know that you’ll do it correctly; I know that you have it completely memorized,” his mentor said, pushing him toward the stage.

He climbed up onto the stage and went to his place upstage right. Other people took their places, eventually blocking his view of the “crowd”. He wasn’t sure how to feel about being behind all of those people but he stayed in his spot nonetheless.

Music started up, played by the musicians down below, and the dance started.

For the duration, Ryan was almost always behind other people. He wasn’t always at the back but he was behind them. There were a few occasions where he was out in the open but the next move brought him back into the group, out of sight.

When it was over and everyone was breathing hard with small sweats going they were told to sit on the edge of the stage and were asked what their part was. It was different for everyone, but not much different. Eventually it was his turn and his mentor stood right in front of him while everyone in the room stared at him.

Ryan focused only on the skinny boy who taught him what he’d done. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him and he suddenly lost where his mind was. He’d had the beginning of an idea but it was gone. Instantly he wondered how much attention he would draw if he didn’t have an answer. As the minutes dragged out, he could feel the eyes boring into him and he silently sat there, hoping desperately that his brain would come up with something. His eyes flicked to another point in the room where the Head Performer was leaning against the wall, watching him with his hard eyes. He swallowed and met his mentor’s eyes. The other boy looked a little nervous, but more than that, he just looked back.

“M-my part was similar to the others with wanting to stay in the group but i-it was more than that. While everyone else followed the lead my character did so, but not like the others,” he thought back to the times when he ran across the stage in the background and then hid himself in a small opening in the group. Complete understanding dawned on him. “My character was running away and hiding from something.” He let out a breath when he was done, relieved that that was over. His mentor nodded and looked very pleased—not to mention relieved—so Ryan figured he was right in his summation of the character.

Brendon was the final one to answer the question. Ryan didn’t know much about his part so he listened along with everyone else. The Performer looked thoughtful for a moment then he started to talk. “My character is with everyone else and he isn’t necessarily the leader. But there’s a point where it’s not going anywhere and he takes the lead and everyone just follows him as if it’s no big deal. My part, then, would be the leader in the times when no one knows what to do.”

“Very good. You all got the point of the dance and you found your characters. Let’s run through it again, and then you can all go do whatever you will next,” the leader of the dancers, and Brendon’s mentor, announced.

They ran through it once more and it seemed better now that everyone knew what they were doing and what they were. Knowing that he was just being himself also made the moves seem effortless to Ryan now. When it was all done Brendon came up to him and suggested that they work on their skit.

Ryan retrieved his script from where he’d set it down before and followed Brendon to find the Head Performer who was talking with one of the other Performers. Brendon didn’t hesitate to grab Jeffry’s arm and haul him over to a side of the room and Ryan had no choice but to follow.

When he caught up, Jeffry was standing close to Brendon, arms around him, about to kiss him. But Brendon saw him and broke away from Jeffry’s grasp with a smile on his face, leaving Jeffry to scowl in the background.

“Alright, let’s run through it just reading, then we can go through again with expression, then go from there and see what needs worked out,” Brendon said, opening his script to the first page. Ryan looked down quickly and did the same, but he didn’t miss the dark glare that Jeffry shot at him. He chose to pretend to not see it.

The first page was the conversation between Bayeel and Jevair where Jevair told Bayeel about the fact that someone knew about them. Ryan took a deep breath and dove in. Time passed quickly with the Performers. Maybe it was the energy, the happiness, or the fact that he was actually able to enjoy himself while doing something that he didn’t totally despise. Ryan was surprised by his success with the reading. Maybe he wasn’t so worthless after all.

They were dismissed from the wonderful practice room and sent out to the rest of the building for food and relaxation before it was time for bathing and sleep. Ryan knew that he had to slip out at some point and he found it after he had a little bit of dinner at the Performers building. It didn’t surprise him that it was better than the food served at “home”.

He was back outside and most people weren’t on the street any longer as it was starting to get dark. So he went back to the corner that he’d changed in earlier and tugged at the skin which flowed off of him and folded itself back into a cube, just like it had for Spencer.

The black and gold was back and he found that he missed the Performers skin that he had. He missed having a shirt and pants, both that actually fit him properly, and he missed the gloves and his mask. Instead, he had the tight Satisfier skin and mask that told everyone that his body was nothing more than entertainment.

Ryan waited in the corner for it to get completely dark before he crept out to go back to the building where all the Satisfiers lived. But of course his day couldn’t go all well, that would be a universal inconsistency. Halfway “home”, a partially drunk man walked into his path and grabbed ahold of him. It was against the law to struggle or refuse, so while he didn’t want to, he went with the man.

He was taken to what he assumed was the man’s home and was taken immediately to the bedroom. There was a long while of sloppy kisses, throaty moans, breathless gasps, and teasing bites, all from the other man. Then eventually he was stripped of his skin, prepared roughly and not very well, and then being thrust into while having to smell the man’s alcohol breath.

“Ugh, you feel so good,” the man panted close to his ear as he got started, having yet to establish any kind of rhythm. He pressed an extremely messy kiss to his lips and began to thrust in faster.

It hurt, it always did, no matter how many times he got fucked it always hurt because the other person didn’t usually care too much to be careful. Otherwise it didn’t have the pleasant feeling that sex was supposed to give you, it was just something that hurt and exhausted him.

Ryan shifted his hips so that the other man went in deeper and hit that one spot. It was the spot that made his pupils narrow and a moan escape from his mouth. The only thing that was good about jobs was being able to get that. A wave of raw pleasure ran up his spine and he sighed shakily. The feeling didn’t last long but it made it easier to forget how the rest of it felt.

Soon it was over with the other man coming apart inside of him and pulling out roughly, flopping onto his back and breathing heavily.

Ryan waited until the man’s breathing evened out, which wasn’t for a while and the man actually tried to go again before giving in to fatigue and going to sleep. He got up out of the bed and pulling his skin back up over his body. He left the house and continued on his way back, blocking out what just happened, something that was becoming easier and easier.

It wasn’t over there though. There was a group of five guys who caught sight of him and they started quickly approaching, calling out for him to wait for them, which he had to do. They were close and were loudly commenting on his body and what they wanted of him. The group reached him and two people took hold of his arms, beginning to take him away with them, already reaching and grabbing. His skin was already pulled down around his shoulders when a dark blur rushed past. Ryan didn’t know what to make of it but he was able to eventually distinguish the fact that it was a person, an assassin. The assassin drew two long daggers from somewhere and was pointing them at the group.

“Now I suggest you five back away and forget any ideas you might have about doing anything to him,” the assassin threatened. The voice sounded like a guys. All five of them were staring at the knives wide-eyed and they quickly dispersed. The assassin put his blades away and turned to Ryan.

“Spencer,” he said, not really surprised. He couldn’t think of anyone else who would have done it.

“Hello Ryan. It looks like I just saved your ass.”

“Literally,” Ryan mumbled wryly.

“Sorry, can’t stick around much longer, have a good day tomorrow, maybe I’ll see you again,” Spencer said, jumping up onto a rooftop and running away after Ryan waved.

He sighed and turned down a street that went in the opposite direction of the Satisfiers building. It was a danger and there was always the chance that he would be picked up again, but he wasn’t focusing on that right then. Sometimes he wandered around the little city aimlessly, just biding his time until he had to go back to where he lived.

There was a park somewhere that he stumbled upon sometimes. He wasn’t sure where it was because he wasn’t normally paying attention, but it was always a nice surprise to find it. Ryan walked around for a good hour, but he never crossed the park. It was disappointing, but he wasn’t too affected.

The walk back was short and when he entered the building he took the shot that prevented every possible disease he could get from what he did. Then he opened the doors to the room where they all slept, walking in to the sound, sight, and smell of people “practicing” their trade. He ignored them all and went straight back to his corner.

The cube was still carefully hidden in his hand and he put it in the corner so no one but him would see it. His ass hurt, his hips hurt, his back hurt. All of it was common, all of it he pushed to the dark recesses of the back of his mind, where it belonged. He positioned himself on the floor in a way that was semi-comfortable and he took a deep, steadying breath.

Ryan closed his eyes and tried to picture the rehearsal room at the Performers building. Some of the music that was always being played by the musicians echoed around his head and he was transported back to the place where he was smiling and where no one looked at him in any way but a friendly one, no one except for Jeffry anyway.

He fell asleep to the light sound of instruments and the images of flickering candlelight on silver and white masks that hid silver and white make-up. There may have even been the very faint beginnings of a smile on his face.

VISUAL AID (it may or may not help):

Brendon’s mask:
https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTLuf3penCg2-IBMI5LXiFEUeOGgbZPwh8GT2WM_lPU6GwzkoQj

Jeffry’s mask:
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSafII7KZtkDvffcjfqwN8411DeDdZ7SMv7FDVf5P-7CegkYXeyDQ

Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed, I'm glad you all like it! Hope this one works for you too. Rate and review? Please? I really like reading the reviews.