FicWad

Ryan woke up and took a minute to breathe before he reached out for the cube and got up off of the floor. When he was standing, he stretched then he left the room and the building. He went to his corner and went through the process of unfolding the bundle and letting the lights do their work on his body. When his eyes reopened he looked down to see the exact same outfit of white and silver, just proving that yesterday hadn’t been a dream or a fantasy.

He ran to the Performers building, getting into the foyer just before all of the other Performers came out. He was safe but it was cutting it closer than he was comfortable with. A few people smiled at him, probably recognizing him from yesterday. And today Brendon came out with everyone else, laughing a little and listening to everyone else. No one was talking to him though and it was clear that Brendon hated that. But then Brendon noticed him and came over with a grin. “Hello Ryan.”

“Hi Brendon.”

“You must get up pretty early to get out here first.”

“Oh, kind of. It’s not bad though.”

“It seems like a nice idea but I think that I would miss being in the crowd.”

Ryan shrugged. “I don’t know. I like to watch it.”

“So are you ready for today?” Brendon asked, also watching the crowd.

“Yeah.”

“Are you excited to see the pair dances?”

Ryan nodded. The pair dances were one of his favorite parts. It was when two dancers showed off a complicated, flashy, always impressive dance to music, moving almost like they were a single person, but separating enough to remind the viewers that they weren’t. “I love that part.”

“I still need a partner for mine,” Brendon stated, looking like he was trying not to think about something else.

“I’m sure Jeffry would be happy to do it,” Ryan commented, only realizing what it was that he said when it was out of his mouth.

Brendon nodded. “Yeah,” then he muttered, “sadly.”

Ryan wasn’t sure if he should pretend that he didn’t hear it or not. He decided that Brendon needed to know that there was someone who knew and sympathized, even understood, so he nodded.

Brendon looked up and over at him, looking stunned. “B-but it’s up to the dancers really. They have the final say. Usually I have to, I mean, I get to go with Head Jeffry but they always seem a little reluctant to let it go through. I think it’s because of how much taller than me he is.”

Ryan thought back. Jeffry probably had a good four or five inches on Brendon. “They’re probably afraid of going up against the Head.”

“No. The ones that are in charge of the different divisions aren’t scared of him at all. They all pretty much hate him. And the dancers are probably the ones that would be the first to stand up to him. The actors would be very close behind. Both of those groups absolutely hate to be restricted. The musicians would probably be among the last ones because as long as they have their music and are able to play it they’re happy,” Brendon said, looking out at the people with a hint of a smile on his face. “I love them all.”

“It doesn’t seem that they love you back though.” Ryan almost clapped his hand over his mouth because he had no clue what compelled him to say that.

But Brendon nodded. “It’s because I’m Jeffry’s,” he said with a grimace. “The ones in charge may not be scared of him but everyone else is. They’re afraid that he’ll get mad if they’re seen interacting with me so most people don’t talk to me. But you do and I appreciate it. I like that you aren’t afraid of him.”

Ryan shrugged.

“And hey, I’m sorry about being an ass yesterday. I was just pissed and I took it out on you, so, sorry. And thanks for sticking around me anyway. I’m not usually an ass,” Brendon said, turning a little to look at him.

He was a little taken aback by such a sudden apology. He was taken aback by the apology itself; it was something that he’d never gotten before. But Ryan nodded, “It’s okay, I understand.”

Brendon beamed and it did weird things to his stomach again. “Thank you. Oh, hey, it’s time to go in,” he said, turning his head toward the other room that had the doors. It looked like he was eager to get in there, probably because Jeffry hadn’t shown up yet and he wanted to be gone before he did.

So Ryan followed Brendon through the doors and he couldn’t help but be amazed again at the beauty of the interior when the “fog” lifted. And, again, it was nice to know that everything hadn’t been a dream. The lead dancer was telling them to all go onto the stage to run through what they’d learned yesterday just to make sure they still had it down. Brendon grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the stage.

When they’d finished going through the dance it was time for the pair dances to get together and show what they could do. Ryan watched people far better at dancing than he could ever hope to be and was again caught up in the magic that the Performers possessed. But Brendon didn’t go, he sat and watched with him and people noticed but only the lead dancer actually said something about it.

“Urie what do you think you’re doing?”

“I don’t have a partner Mason, so I’m watching. Maybe I’ll just opt out this week.”

“Like hell you will. Stand up.” Brendon sighed but did what he was told.

“Look, Brendon, you’re one of our best dancers, there’s no way I can let you not go out,” the lead dancer, Mason, said. Then he noticed Ryan. “Hey, you, stand up.”

Ryan did so, cautiously. Mason gestured for him to move closer and he did. When a grin broke out on the other Performer’s face he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to think.

“Urie, I think we just found your dancing partner.”

“What?!” Jeffry’s voice rang out in the room.

Ryan whirled around with everyone else while all of the leads and Brendon just looked calmly toward the doors where the Head Performer was standing with his white and silver cape swaying around his ankles. In just a moment he was across the room and standing with them, looking furious.

“What is the meaning of this?” he growled.

“Head Jeffry, you are a fine dancer and I know that you usually go with Brendon but this boy is much closer in height to Mr. Urie and that will make the dance look more appealing to the eyes. Height is always an awkward thing to deal with because if you don’t get it just right you don’t get it at all,” Mason explained, sounding gracious and eloquent even with the tiny glint of annoyance and dislike in his eyes.

Jeffry nodded stiffly. “I see. Well, if it’s for the best then by all means, go ahead,” he said, barely concealing his hatred toward the tall, skinny dancer.

Ryan knew that the Performer caught on to the look but he smiled and bowed ever so slightly. “Thank you sir, your support is a comfort. Brendon, figure out a dance with your partner, I doubt the two of you have anything prepared.”

“Oh but you don’t know that,” Brendon said in a teasing tone that made Ryan nervous because it got him a dark glare from Jeffry.

They peeled away from the rest of the group, all of whom were splitting up to practice their specialties and soon the room was filled with the sound of music, the sight of the dancers, and the sounds and sights from the actors.

“We should get to work on the skit soon but this is also really important,” Brendon said, stopping in a part of the room that was well away from everyone else. Ryan knew that it was just to stay away from Jeffry but he nodded.

“Do you have any ideas?”

“Actually, Mason showed me something last week that he’d like me to do this week with a partner. I can teach you, it’s not very complicated; we might have to adjust some parts because it was originally worked out with Jeffry in mind as my partner. You’re still taller than I am though so it should work pretty well.”

“Okay, show me how it goes.”

Brendon wasn’t lying; it really wasn’t a hard dance and Ryan found that he learned it and could perform it pretty easily. They did have to change it just a little bit to accommodate for height and weight but it still turned out really good.

“Alright, I think that it’s about time we go and rehearse. Come on Bayeel,” Brendon said, walking off.

Ryan really hoped that the raven-haired Performer wouldn’t keep calling him that; it made him nervous because he was already convinced that he and Bayeel shared too much, he didn’t want fate to be one of them. He didn’t know what made him think that being called that would make that happen. It was really just a gut feeling.

Jeffry was standing with his arms crossed, glaring at the opposite wall. Brendon sighed a little before he put a huge grin on his face and bounced over happily to the Head Performer. Once again Ryan was astounded by Brendon’s ability to act that way toward a man that he hated.

Brendon wrapped his arms around the man’s neck and kissed him on the side of the mouth. He whispered something in the tall man’s ear, making the man smile and pull Brendon closer. Ryan could see in his eyes that Jeffry really was fond of Brendon, but it was clear that he was more fond of his body and the ideas that he had about what he could do to the younger boy. Jeffry had the potential to really care, but he was only using the boy, and it was clear that he liked torturing him too. The Head Performer knew that Brendon didn’t like him, or the idea of belonging to him and Jeffry liked Brendon’s torment. But the two of them kept up the act for everyone else.

Eventually Brendon decided that it was enough and he suddenly had his script in his hands. Ryan found his where he’d left it the previous day and he stood there, ready for whatever may come his way.

Rehearsal was actually better than it had been the day before. Ryan found that he identified with a lot of how Bayeel felt and the way he thought. It was interesting, almost like a small part of himself had been pulled away and put down on paper. Connecting like that, it was different, like nothing he’d ever experienced before, but he liked it. When they were done, he even wished that they could do a little more.

They all had a lunch break and almost everyone left the room. Everyone but him and Brendon, Brendon claimed that he wanted to work on something. Ryan would have probably stayed in the room anyway but it was nice to have an explanation, especially with the person who he found himself becoming ever closer to.

Brendon didn’t really want to work on anything. He wanted to have some time away from all of the other people and he wanted to talk. Of course while he was doing so he was rehearsing one of the dances in his spot.

“I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out if I’ve seen you before and maybe thought you were someone else like you said but I don’t think that that’s possible. I honestly cannot remember ever seeing you or meeting you before. I’m sure that I would have remembered it if I had, especially now that we’ve talked.”

“My parents are really protective. They didn’t let me leave until very recently. So I am new and you probably don’t recognize me at all,” Ryan said, thinking fast. It was unusual but not unheard of for parents to keep their children past the age of ten, when most kids went to stay at the place of their profession.

“What’s it like? Having parents I mean. Is it nice?” Brendon asked, looking over at him wistfully.

Ryan had to swallow his immediate response because it would contradict the story he’d just spit out. And that meant that he had to make something else up because he didn’t know. “Yes, but they can get really annoying, especially if you’re their only child.” It wasn’t like Ryan knew any of this; or even if he was an only child or not.

Brendon sighed. “Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to see them every week after a performance like so many of the others. I should stop because it usually just makes me sad later, but it’s nice while it lasts.”

“What happened?” Ryan asked.

“They died when I was young. I was brought here and given my mask. I’ve lived here all of my life. The senior Performers raised me, all of the ones that don’t live here anymore because they’ve fallen in love and moved out, except for Mason and the others. It wasn’t a bad way to grow up, I think that it might make it harder to leave this place though,” Brendon said, looking around.

Ryan nodded. Any child that was born lived with their parents until they were ten, then they went off to live at the building that housed other people in the profession they were in. Once they were there they got their mask, the one that had been created by the lights when they were born, the one literally made for the child. Then the person lived at that building until they fell in love with someone and they moved out to live with them and have kids of their own, restarting the cycle.

“I like being away from home. Being hovered over is not fun no matter what you might think in your fantasies,” Ryan said, it was probably the first completely true thing that he’d said to Brendon yet that had to do with homes.

Brendon shrugged. “Maybe not, I guess I wouldn’t really know. All of these people are my family though and I think that it’s good enough. It would still be nice to know something about my real parents though, just a story or two, what their skins looked like, what kind of people they were.”

“I don’t really care about how my parents are or were,” Ryan muttered.

Brendon looked up and over, “Don’t you know those things though? You’ve lived with them for a long time, wouldn’t you know?”

“Not necessarily.”

They fell into silence for a few minutes until Ryan spoke up again.

“Jeffry’s a pretty young Head.” He observed, even though the Head Satisfier was only twenty-two.

“The last Head died very suddenly and Jeffry says that he found the new mask on his bed. He’s two years older than me and it happened when he was eleven.”

“I don’t think that any of the leaders of the sections like him at all.”

“You’re right. They’re all about the same age as him and they’ve told me that he was just the way he is now when he was younger. They’ve never liked him and they told me that when they were younger, and he was just starting to be the Head, he was obsessed with me, since I’m the Performer who’s been here the longest. So, he would try to get me to follow him around, but I constantly stayed by the senior Performers, and Mason and the now lead actor, Alistair, and the now lead musician, Erik,” Brendon said, smiling a little.

“You do seem to be very close to the leaders of the sections,” Ryan observed.

“I am. They’ve taken good care of me and they’re very nice. I’ve learned a lot from all of them. They’ve just kind of stuck with me and as soon as they got here they noticed what I could do and throughout the years they’ve just been pushing me and encouraging me. Of course, Mason, Alistair, and Erik, haven’t been leaders for too long. But anymore they won’t let me not do something, as you heard from Mason.”

“That must be nice to have friends like that.”

“It is. They’re like older brothers really.”

Ryan was about to reply when everyone came back into the room, ready to get back to work. So their conversation was cut off.

After a few minutes Mason stood up and motioned to Brendon. “Come on Brendon; let’s see what you and your partner have. I hope you taught him well.” Brendon beamed and motioned for Ryan to follow him to the stage. Ryan swallowed down his nervousness; hopefully he didn’t make a fool of himself.

Brendon positioned them downstage center and turned so they were facing each other. He took a hold of Ryan’s hands and held them up so they were level with their shoulders; he must have seen Ryan’s face because he gave him a quick smile and squeezed his hands just a little bit in reassurance, sending a tingle all the way down Ryan’s spine.

The music started up at a nod from Brendon and he pulled them closer together so their chests were touching and Ryan could feel his heartbeat. Then they separated and the dance began with a lot of separating and coming together, twisting around each other, dancing together for a few beats then parting with only one hand holding the other person’s. All in all it was a graceful yet simple dance and when it was over Ryan felt like he’d done pretty good.

There was enthusiastic applause and Ryan looked out, smiling just a little bit. Jeffry was leaning against a wall and he glowered at Ryan, making his smile falter. On the floor directly in front of the stage Mason walked back and forth.

“Not bad, you’ll have to work on it a little bit just to get it smoother but that was very good for your first time dancing together. It looked very natural. It’s strange; usually it takes a while for new partners to get used to each other but the two of you made it seem like you’ve done it before,” Mason observed.

Brendon turned a little and grinned at Ryan, then he turned back to Mason. “I guess the two of us are just anomalies then,” he said. Jeffry scowled deeper at those words and Ryan could almost feel the gaze cutting through him.

The day ended quickly after that and it was harder today, but Ryan slipped away without being noticed and he went back to his corner, pulling the Performer skin off, uncovering his real black and gold skin. On the walk “home”, he didn’t have any trouble, which meant that the perverts had either gotten other Satisfiers, or they’d figured something else out. He still dawdled a bit on the way though, taking some time and going the long way, just to be away. When he made it back to the building, the other Satisfiers stared at him and one of the older ones told him that the Head Satisfier wanted to see him. He swallowed and nodded, turning around to go to the stairwell.

He walked up to the top floor of the building, the seventh, where the Head Satisfier resided. The whole floor was his living space and right out of the stairwell there was a little space outside of the doors. Ryan swallowed again and bit back on his reluctance and hesitation, to raise his hand and knock on the ornately carved dark-wood door.

“Come in,” the voice purred. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening the door and sliding in to stand on the other side.

Across the room, in a low chair behind his desk, sat the Head Satisfier, a muscled young man, five years older than him, someone that Ryan had known for quite some time, he was looking at Ryan with pleasure clear in his light eyes and a thin smile on his face.

Ryan stood there uncomfortably while the man raked his gaze down his body. This was something he was used to, but it never made it more comfortable or likable. He was the Head Satisfier’s favorite and was called up often. Of course, the man called plenty of girls up too but no other boys beside him.

“Ryan dear, take your mask off so I can see your pretty face better,” he crooned with one raised eyebrow.

He reached behind his head and slowly untied his mask from his face, lifting it away and removing the only protection that he had. Ryan looked back up at the Head Satisfier after setting his mask lightly on the floor, steeling his expression to make his face a blank canvas.

“That’s much better. Now come here, don’t be shy,” the man said, patting his leg and reaching out a hand for him.

Ryan cleared his expression again, just in case, and he walked forward to the outstretched hand that grabbed his wrist and pulled him onto the Head’s lap between the man’s chest and the desk.

“Such a good boy,” the man whispered, kissing just below his ear and moving down the side of his neck.

He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, trying to make it look like he liked the attention he was getting.

The older man’s hands roamed his body and he kissed back up his jaw and to his ear again. His hands slipped behind Ryan’s shoulders and got to the seam of the black and gold skin, pulling it apart and exposing his back inch by inch.

As the air hit his back, he shivered a little and the Head Satisfier chuckled darkly in his ear, making him want to bolt up and out of the room. But he stayed where he was and closed his eyes a little tighter, telling himself that it would be over; just not soon enough.

The skin was pulled down his body and eventually removed so he was fully exposed. The Head pulled him closer and stood a little to lay him down on the desk, open and vulnerable to whatever the man wished.

Ryan refused to open his eyes and he heard the man unbutton and slide down his own pants, then sit back down. He felt the big hands grab his hips and pull him back down into the older man’s lap, right on top of his erection.

It went inside him and he bit back the howl of pain at not being prepared or even wetted down a little. All that escaped was a whimper, after all, he’d endured worse before.

“Hush Little Bird, hush,” the man whispered in Ryan’s ear, adjusting his hips so that he went deeper and Ryan had to grit his teeth more.

Once he was all the way in and Ryan was resting his forehead helplessly on the man’s shoulder, trying to shoulder the pain that was radiating up his whole body, the man whispered huskily by his ear, “Move.”

Ryan knew that he couldn’t object so he braced himself and lifted himself off of the man’s lap before sitting back down again. It pleasured the Head Satisfier but it only made the pain sharper for him. He winced and bit his lip while he continued to move.

The Head gripped tightly onto his upper arms and whispered things that were supposed to get him closer but only succeeded in disgusting him.

Eventually, after who knew how long, the Head Satisfier, the person who had complete control over him and his life when he was in the building, came into him, moaning long and loud and grabbing his shoulders in a vice-like grip that left bruises.

Ryan had ceased being able to come after sessions like this one. It wasn’t always like this, sitting, sometimes he was tied up, sometimes he was pressed against the wall, sometimes it was on the desk, and sometimes he was on cushions while the Head had his way with him.

He stood up completely, getting the other man out of him, and he bent down to pull his skin back up. The older man pulled him back and kissed him heatedly on the lips. “As good as ever Little Bird,” he whispered before pushing him away.

Ryan picked up his mask on his way out and went sorely down the stairs. He considered picking a random room and sleeping there for the night because it would be comfortable and his whole body was in pain, but he knew that he had to sleep among the others.

So he went down to the first floor and into the room with the others. Some were settling down to sleep, some were in the shadows fucking each other, but all of them stared at him while he walked to his corner and lay down. It was a normal occurrence after his meetings with the Head.

He ignored every look and turned on his side, burrowing himself into the corner and shutting his eyes to the world. His only desire was to leave the rest of the day behind him and take refuge in his mind, away from everything else that existed.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed, seriously the reviews make me grin like a fucking idiot and I'm not much of a grinner. Keep 'em coming! And, rate? But thank you everyone, seriously.