FicWad

Apart



I know that he has to leave me, that he has to go away and learn how to function in the big scary world where people have jobs and suits and cubicles. Not where he has comics and movies and tree-houses. I know that he has to grow up and become Gerard Arthur Way, not simply my Gee. I know that we have to be apart, as opposed to cuddled together under my duvet like we are right now.

I guess to some people it might seem strange that my nineteen-year-old big brother is in my bed with me, holding me close as I snuggle into him and grip onto his bare, sweat-slicked skin like a child with a security blanket.

Then again, I suppose people would find it weird that I kiss my brother; that he strokes my face with his paintbrush-like fingertips as though I’m the most precious thing in his world; that we manage to make each other feel loved in a world too busy to care about two incestuous freaks finding solace and comfort in one another.

It started back when I was twelve and Gee was fifteen, after my first encounter with bullies at school. Gee had been suffering at their hands for years, something that I tried my best to make better with hugs and invitations to join me in my tree-house, but something snapped in him when he found me bloody-nosed in the corner of my bedroom. He just broke down like I’ve never seen him do before; telling me that it’s not fair, that neither of us deserve to get treated like that and that if they ever hurt me again to go straight to him so that he could sort it out. Later that same night I found him crying in his basement bedroom, where I had ventured to after a particularly disturbing dream consisting of Freddie Krueger doing some unsightly things to a group of unicorns, he was just softly sobbing and so I ran straight into him, wrapping him up in my arms just like he had done to me hours beforehand. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that he thought he’d never be loved; that he honestly believed what the bullies were saying.

So I kissed him.

So he punched me. Hard.

And then he kissed me back. Harder.

It just became routine; whenever the world left us feeling alone or worthless, we’d show one another that that’s not the case at all. Over the years it grew from just chaste kisses and the same old hugs we always shared to being of almost dating quality. It just felt nice to feel loved, like nothing else mattered because we had each other to make everything better. But as our relationship evolved, so did the bullying. For me more than Gerard, who had moved schools shortly after our first kiss in order to escape his tormentors because of how hideously bad it got for him.

Gee always made it all better though. Always kissed away bruises until the purple burnt red, the kind of red that showed the world that I wasn’t worthless; that someone loved me, even if it was my big brother.

I could say that I know it’s wrong, but I’d be lying because I know it’s right. It’s kinda like when you’re doing a puzzle and there’s a piece that looks right but doesn’t quite fit unless you push it in really heard; it looks slightly strange, but it works. Just like me and Gee. We complete each other, but in an odd, slightly unnatural way. Apart from it is natural, just like all love is.

I do love him. I really do. I’m not just some confused, lonely teenager like Frank said I was when I told him about me and Gee. I thought I could trust him, that he was my best friend and would stick with me through anything, just like I would do for him. I understand that being in love with my big brother isn’t exactly normal, but he didn’t have to call me all of those mean names like the ones that the nasty kids at school call me. He didn’t have to tell me that Gerard’s a sick bastard for taking advantage of an “emotionally troubled” kid. He didn’t have to beat me up when I told him that it was me who kissed him first.

Frankie was my best friend since before I could walk, the one ray of sunshine in my life aside from Gerard’s butterfly kisses. So of course when he told, or rather spat at me, that we couldn’t be friends anymore I was heartbroken. I wouldn’t even let Gee in my room when he asked why I was crying. But he came in anyway, to find bruises and blood abound. He asked what had happened and I told him, thus costing Frank a broken arm the next time he saw Gerard.

Now Gee really is all I have.

And he’s leaving me tomorrow. For Art College in the next state.

For the first time in sixteen years, we’re going to be apart. He’s going to grow up, make friends and find a place in the world, leaving me behind. He’s even told me that tonight is the last night we can spend like this; like boyfriends instead of brothers. He said it was good whilst it lasted but that we both knew it could never last forever; that it was just two kids helping each other through rough times, nothing more. Of course he said that he’ll always be there for me and that he’s only a phone call away, I said that the same went for him.

Even if I had thought that we were going to be forever, not just whilst it was convenient for Gerard.

I can’t bring myself to hate him for it though, not now whilst I’m snuggling into him like I always do when my world’s falling to shit around me. No, right now we’re still lovers and I can’t hate the one holding my heart. I might hate him in the morning, but not right now.

Not whilst we’re together.

Perhaps when we’re apart.






A/N: Just a short little Waycest. Sorry for it being a written cliché, but it was the only idea I could come up with. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think! :)