FicWad

A/N: Before you read this I just want to say thank you to everyone who has read the rest of this story and also all my other fanfics because this is probably the last one I will write for a couple (or a few) months. Also thank you if you rated or reviewed this story or any of my other stories. Anyway, I'll let you get on with reading it.
-Caitlin (MCRmy_Frank) :3 xo

Chapter 7
Frank’s POV
I sat at the front of the bus clutching my passport in my hands. I didn’t really know where I was going to go. Tony had said to just go where ever felt right but only one place felt right, right now.

I needed to be with Gerard.

But I couldn’t turn back now, I was already half way out of Belleville and I really couldn’t bear to see Gerard’s face or think about what he must be feeling right now…if he felt anything at all. How was I to know that Gerard had even bothered coming over after school today? I didn’t. Oh well. Gerard would get over me someday. He didn’t have to think about me or even see my face ever again. It was a stupid idea telling him exactly how I felt anyway when he clearly didn’t feel the same way.

I rummaged around inside my bag and pulled out my phone. I wanted to hear a familiar voice but I didn’t know who to call. I didn’t have any friends, dad has just about lost it- he hasn’t been the same since the funeral, and my mom was dead. I scrolled through my contacts (not that I had that many).
Aunty Ann
Aunty Catherine
Bob Bryar
Dad
Emily Johnston
Gerard Way
Gerard Way (home)
Grandad

I hadn’t talked to my granddad in what felt like ages. Maybe hearing his voice would make everything slightly more bearable. After all, he was my hero. I looked up to him and he even brought me my first guitar. He was the only one who knew I hadn’t gone mad when I kept attacking people when I first when to school.
"It's Frank."
"Oh! Frankie! What a lovely surprise!" my granddad's elderly voice exclaimed. Although I couldn't see him, I could tell he was smiling just by the way he was talking. "It feels like ages since we last spoke, it's been... How long has it been?"
"5 years." I said bluntly, I had to grit my teeth to stop myself from crying again.
"Ah yes, since your gran died. So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"
I opened my mouth, about to spill everything that had caused me to run away but I managed to stop myself just in time, and closed it. "How's your father?" he asked breaking the silence.
"He's... He's depressed." I said quietly.
"Why would that be?"
"Mom died."
He made a noise on the other side of the telephone which I couldn't quite work out. It was a sort of mumble. Like didn't believe that I had just told him his daughter-in-law was dead.
"Your father...he didn't tell me." my granddad stuttered.
"He doesn't tell you much, does he?" I said raising my eyebrows, not that he would be able to see. I heard the phone shift in his hands. "I bet he didn't tell you that I tried to kill myself the other day. I bet he never told you that I am back in public school. I bet he didn't think to mention that I actually have a friend for once." I hissed angrily down the phone.
"We haven't talked since your gran died. You see, he blames me for letting her die. She was ill, Frankie. No matter what he says you have to believe me." he sighed.
"I do. I love you."
"Is there... Can I... Is your father there? Can I ... You know... Talk to him...maybe?" he asked nervously.
"I'm not at home. I ran away."
"You did what?! Where are you going?"
"I don’t know. At the moment I am on my way to the airport, though." I said as I swallowed the big lump in my throat.
"Well if you need to, you can visit me. You know how to find me, yes?” he suggested. It seemed tempting. It was a possibility I guess.
“Maybe.”
“Well if you do, call me and I’ll get you from the airport.”
“Okay, love you granddad.” I said smiling.
“Love you too Frankie. Stay safe.”
“I will.” I said slowly. My finger hovered over the decline button for a few seconds before I finally hung up. I wanted to ring him again and ask him if everything would be okay. I needed someone to tell me what to do.

Gerard’s POV
“You must me Tony.” I spat. The man behind the counter of the record store looked up at me. He was pretty stick-like, his hair was gelled into long pink spikes on his head and his arms were littered with intricate tattoos, pictures. He had a lip piercing and his eyebrow pierced too. He was wearing a Misfits tee and a pair of skin-tight black jeans with a black and white checked belt at his hips.
“You must be Gerard.” he said looking me up and down. “Frank said I’d probably be expecting you.”
“Well here I am.” I snapped rudely.
“Then, can I help you?” he asked raising his eyebrows as if it would hurry me up.
“Well before I start can I just say one thing?” I asked. He nodded sarcastically and waited for me to speak. “Firstly, our suicidal friend, Frank Iero, has gone somewhere, possibly to ‘get back to his mother’ if you are following me?” I said folding my arms across my chest.
“Frank’s not suicidal and where is his mom?” he said in disgust. I was starting to even doubt Frank told this man anything.
“Frank has recently been discharged from hospital after trying to drug himself to death on his anxiety pills…and his mom? His mom is dead.”
“What?” he gasped in disbelief. “The little guy never told me!”
“Now, would you like to tell me where he has gone and hopefully get him home, where he’ll actually be safe?” I raised my eyebrows.
“My car is out the back, come on. He’s heading to the airport.” He said uncertainly, as if he didn’t really know if I was telling truth or not, but didn’t want to question me just in case.

I got into his car which smelt strongly of weed and he drove off down the high-street towards the high way. As soon as we reached the highway he put his foot down on the acceleration and we sped down the busy road, weaving in and out of cars about 30 over the legal speed limit. “Would you like me to I put the radio on?” Tony asked, putting it on anyway. I suppose I needed something to distract myself from the thoughts about how much danger Frank might be in.

The song that blasted through the speakers of the car made my head hurt with thoughts of Frank even more. It was the song we had listened to the first day I had properly known him.
Not Now- Blink-182

Come here, please hold my hand for now
Help me, I'm scared please show me how to fight this,
God has a master plan
And I guess
I am in his demand

That day I went round his house and we danced and sang our hearts out to this song. Frank had picked up his guitar and began to play along flawlessly and I had tried to be Travis Barker on the drums (but failed miserably). Although the end of that day, and the events that followed, had changed both our lives forever- it was still one of the most memorable memories of my life. As soon as we discovered it was both our favourite song, I knew Frank Iero was a friend for life.

Please save me this time I cannot run
And I'll see you when this is done
And now I have come to realize
That you are the one who's left behind
Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting

The lyrics described my feelings painfully well. Everything that was happening to me, inside my head, was described in this song.

My phone vibrated in my pocket but I ignored it.

It rang again- probably just mom. Had she finally realised I should’ve been home from school three hours ago or had the school found out I was gone?

I picked it up and looked to see who it was.

Frank Iero Calling.

My heart thudded and I hit the radio to turn it off. I clicked ‘answer’ and held the phone to my ear.
“G-gerard?” his small voice echoed in my ear.
“Where are you Frankie?” I asked sternly.
“I’m going away.” He said quickly. I heard his sniffs- he was crying.
“Going where? Frank just please come home.” I pleaded. I felt my eyes fill with tears.
“No. I just wanted to call you and tell you that I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” I asked as a hot tear streaked down my cheek.
“Sorry for everything I’ve done to you since I met you. None of it was fair and the thoughts of what I did, and knowing that you know how I feel- it’s killing me.” I heard his voice crack in places and I heard him swallow. The last time I’ve known him to be this upset was when his mom died.
“I don’t care if you’re sorry because all the pain was worth it. Frankie, I do love you. I love you so much. I don’t know what was up with me and Emily. It was nothing compared to what I felt for you. I’ve never said it before because I didn’t know if you felt the same way. Frank please, come home. It’s killing me knowing that you are feeling like this and that you might be in danger.” my tears were now unstoppable, but it felt good now that I had fully explained my feelings. No longer felt as if there was a heavy weight on my back. Tony patted me on the shoulder and pointed towards a sign for the airport. We were five minutes away.
“I don’t want to go back to living with dad.” He coughed.
“You won’t have to! I know you’re not safe with him but you will be safe with me for now until we sort something out. Just come home.” I begged.
“I have to go now.” He said quickly.
“NO! Frank, no!” I yelled but it was too late. He had already hung up.

“Quick, drive!” I shouted. Tony slammed his foot on the accelerator and we were almost inside the airport gates. We drove past car parks and buildings and airplane hangars and coaches full of people going on holiday. We stopped the car at the side of the road so we wouldn’t have to pay a parking fee and ran towards the main building where the bus stops were situated.

Tony stopped a few metres away and told me to go ahead as he had spotted Frank. I looked across the road at the bus stop and sure enough, a small raven-haired, green eyed boy was sitting huddled in the bus stop.
“Frankie!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. He looked up instantly and smiled. His eyes looked red from all the crying he had done the past day. He stopped at the side of the extremely busy road about to cross when someone else shouted his name.
“FRANK IERO GET HERE NOW!” the voice boomed. A tall figure bounded through the crowds of people towards Frank. In his panic he stepped off the pavement and into the road- right in the path of a taxi.

His body smashed against the bonnet and landed with a thud on the floor.
“FRANKIE!” I screamed. The cars and people around us halted and watched in terror at what they had just witnessed. I bounded over to his crumpled up body lying in the middle of the road. “Frankie.” I whispered as I knelt beside him. I picked up his bloody body and laid him in my arms.
“Someone call an ambulance!” Frank’s father shouted at the crowd. I was feeling too many emotions, some that I couldn’t explain.
“WHY DON’T YOU JUST FUCK OFF?” I yelled at him. “You never did care about him! Why start caring now? It’s your entire fault this happened, if you haven’t noticed. Frank told me he was scared of you once, don’t you fucking dare take a step closer!” I screamed. One of the people watching our tragedy unfold took him by the shoulders and led him away. Another few people tried to get the crowd to move on so we could be a little less out of the spotlight.

I turned back to Frankie in my arms. He was all bruised and bloody. I stroked his bloody hair from his face and tried to listen for his breathing. He was breathing a little bit but he needed medical attention quickly.
“Frankie.” I whispered. His eyelids flickered a little bit indicating that he knew I was there.
“Why did …you come?” he mumbled through his bloody lips. “I said in …my letter. If you …liked me or cared…you wouldn’t come…after me.” he shivered. I held him tighter in my arms and wiped a bloody tear from his cheek.
“I loved you Frankie.” I said pressing my cheek against his.
“G-gerard.” he coughed.
“What is it?”
“I’m going to die.” He sniffed.
“No you’re not Frankie. You’re going to survive this and I will be here the whole way.” I said optimistically. Was Frank going to survive? I don’t know.
“I want…mom.” He mumbled. “I want to be…with her.” He said through gritted teeth. He opened his eyes slightly and looked up at me. “In my pocket.” He coughed. I pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, infact it was multiple pieces of paper.
“What’s this?” I asked shoving it deep inside my jeans pocket.
“For you.” he coughed. “Gerard, it hurts.” He cried, closing his eyes again.
“Frankie, please open your eyes.” I sniffed. He opened them, wider this time and looked up at me.
“I love you Gerard… and I will miss you.” he smiled.
“Miss me? What… no Frank you’re not going to die.” I cried.
“I want mom….I’m sorry. I need to go. I do love you, so much.” he smiled again sweetly.
“No, Frankie NO! “ I cried as I watched his eyes close slowly.

I see, a light it feels good
And I'll come back soon just like you would
It's useless, my name has made the list
And I wish, I gave you one last kiss

There was nothing I could do but watch as his body shut down. His breathing slowed and his gentle heart beat stopped. I kissed his cold lips and wiped his last tear from his face. My Frankie was gone. Just like that. I wanted to disappear now too, but Frank wouldn’t have wanted that. He wanted to be with his mom- he had tried to get there before- and he was finally where he had wanted to go for a long time. He was happy now, I guess. He hadn’t had a very good life and we both knew that living was hard for him. You see, Frank wasn’t like the rest of us. He was different, special, in a good way. He saw the world differently from everyone else. He got confused and he made mistakes but it was always that bad stuff that affected him more than the good.

The ambulance arrived and the paramedics confirmed he was gone and there was no way to get him back. It was too late. I watched, and Tony held me back, while his body was zipped into a body bag and the ambulance disappeared.

That was the last time I ever saw Frank Iero.

Now, sitting by the river I held in my hand the letter he had given to me the day he had died. I had read it a thousand times before but every time I read it, it good harder to believe he was gone.

To Gerard,
I’m sorry for running away like I did. I want to start again and I will never forgive myself for the many times I hurt you or broke your heart- I know there were a lot of those time too. I never wanted to leave you, but it felt right. Maybe one day we will meet again but who knows. Maybe one day when you are married and have a beautiful wife (or husband) and a billion beautiful, healthy children with your eyes and your smile, we will meet again by chance in a shopping centre or at Disney land in California (I’ve always wanted to go there).

Just think, maybe leaving you was for the best, although it broke my heart and possibly broke yours too. Maybe we will be able to get on with our lives. Meeting you was one of the best things that happened and whenever I hear Not Now by Blink-182 I will laugh at the memories and smile and say “This is mine and Gerard’s song”. Even if we do meet again and I haven’t posted this letter yet, I will still give it to you so you know just how much you will always mean to me. No matter how many more times we fall in love or whatever may happen in our lives that affects us in the best (or worst) way possible, everything I have ever said to you-I’ve meant.

I don’t know how long it will be until we meet again but I am looking forward to it anyway. No matter how many times you dye your hair or change your face, I’ll still be able to find you- so don’t bother hiding. Now all I want to say is hope the rest of your life is amazing and that you do everything you ever wanted to do! I know that you’ll go really far and become a hero like in one of those comic books you drew for me when I was upset. Maybe you’ll change the world or save a life (you already saved mine.) Anyway I am almost at the airport and I have a few phone calls to make before I arrive
See you later,
Frankie xoxox :)
P.S I wish I could’ve hugged you and said good bye properly.

As well as that letter there was also a photograph of us playing football. That day I had first met him, just before he had attacked my face and beaten the shit out of me. I guess his mom had taken the photo when we didn’t realise. Our smiles we genuine, too. I had never seen Frank smile like that before. He looked so beautiful and I would miss that.

I lay back against the tree we had slept in each other’s arms that time, and looked up at the unusually clear blue sky.

But I know that up there right now, in the sky where ever he is, he is watching me and smiling at me with his mom. He is finally safe now. He’s safe from his dad and safe from himself. He is where he had wanted to be for a long time now. He may not have left this earth in the most preferable way but it had happened and I couldn’t change that. I would never see his face, kiss his lips or hear his voice ever again but I know that deep down, Frank Iero had never really left me.

Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting and take
My one last breath, and don't forget
That I will be right here
Waiting

The End