FicWad

Frank’s POV

By my count of the rise and fall of the sun, it’s been about 2 months since the attack, and all I’ve been doing is walking, walking through the desert, from village to village, waiting to come across a bigger town that might have some kind of decent transport or some way for me to communicate with someone who can get me home, I’ve hardly slept, and when I do I’m a refugee in a strangers home and my dreams are haunted by images of what happened, the worst thing is Gerard and Mikey probably think I’m dead, I have nothing left, I’m still injured from the attack, with slices of shrapnel in almost every part of my body, I’m waiting to come across another village, where I can get some water, dirty or clean I don’t care and maybe food, depending on the conditions of the village, I won’t eat their food if they don’t have enough for themselves, I’m down to just my white vest and camouflage trousers , it must look like some fucked up action movie, I had to ditch my dog tags because they were burning my skin through my clothes, and my tattoos don’t help, whenever I got bored at the base I’d get a tattoo from Greg, loads of the guys did it, but I was practically covered now, but the fact most of them are black, means the black is absorbing the heat into my skin, so I’m constantly overheated and with the lack of water I’m basically just a heat stroke waiting to happen.

The blaring desert sun shone down on me, I know in dreams the desert represents the unconscious mind and that to dream of wandering through a desert, suggests that losses and sad emotional times are ahead for the dreamer. Well this wasn’t a dream, this couldn’t be more real, I constantly think I’m going to die, but then my mind wonders to Gerard, I can’t die and never have my body discovered, I have to survive, I have to get home, I have to see him one more fucking time. That’s what’s been driving me the past few months, that’s the mentality here, you walk, you sleep, you think of what means most to you, and you push on until you make it. I miss Jersey; I miss Home, I miss Mikey, I Miss Gerard, I miss my guitar. All of the people I knew in the base are dead, I wouldn’t think there’d be any other survivors, the only reason I’m here is because I was trying to help the injured, I was helping Lieutenant Leto his leg was severely burnt and I tried to help him, but he told me to run, I said no but he demanded, he said ‘Run, That’s an order Iero!’ so I did, I ran, he’s the only reason I’m here right now, and my god if I make it, if I get through this, I’m going to make sure his family know how fucking incredible he was.

I guess this place teaches you a lot of life lessons, you know that saying ‘when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade’? Well life never gives you fucking lemons, don’t take life for granted, you have to plant a fucking lemon tree and wait until it grows and then make your own fucking lemonade, you have to work for the things you want, you have to know what you want in the first place, you have to know what to do, and then you have to be patient, patience is probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned, I mean I thought I was pretty patient at school when I got bullied, but this is patience on a whole new level, this is like the patience of monks and Buddhists, it’s never getting your hopes up that something is not far away, it’s preparing yourself for a long, tedious journey that will test you , mentally and physically, every choice you make has an alternate ending depending on what you do, it’s like that scene in matrix, when Neo goes to the oracle, and she says ‘don’t worry about the vase’ Neo says ‘what vase’ turns around and breaks the vase, and then a few minutes later the oracle says ‘now the question is would you have broken it, if I hadn’t have said anything’ that’s what I mean, there’s always an alternate ending to everything, like Gerard for example, I mean life would be completely different if he stayed in Jersey and didn’t go to college, I’d still be in Jersey with him, because Craig wouldn’t dare touch me if Gerard was around, and then there’s the choice he made, that turned life around completely, he’s in New York and I’m here, walking through a desert on the brink of dying, I don’t blame him though, when he made his choice neither of us were to know this is what would happen, I’d never have even thought I’d ever join the army, I’d never blame Gerard for this ever, I just pray he doesn’t blame himself, I know how he gets when his mind gets the better of him and so does Mikey, I know Mikey will look after him, he cared for Gerard so much and it amazes me still how close they are as brothers, sometimes when I close my eyes, I can picture them sitting at home on the couch watching TV together and laughing, and that’s how I want them to be, even though they may think I’m dead, I want them to carry on with their lives, I’d never want Gerard to drop out of college or give up on his dreams because of me, I’m not worth it. If I do ever get home, it’s because of Gerard, what I’d do just to get back in his arms, my way home is through him.

I look out to the horizon when the sun begins to set and see something glistening against the light of the sun, I use most of my remaining energy to quicken my pace and try and get my blurry eyes to focus on the distant light. It was a town.

It took me about half an hour to reach the town walking, I got quite a few looks from people walking around, but it was a big town, more like a city than anything, the people knew I was a soldier and were weary of me, they seemed to part on the street when I walked passed, it felt so good to be in streets full of people, the other villages where small with maybe a few hundred people, but this, there were thousands of people here, I really think this is my way home.

I saw a man in what looked like a police uniform standing on a street corner, god knows if he spoke English but I was going to give it a shot, I had to. I tapped him on the shoulder gently and when he turned around his eyes widened as he looked at my own uniform, he turned to face me standing strong and saluted me, I saluted back.
“Hey, do you know of anywhere… I can get in touch with the American Military…”